Reply to Do you make alternative dinners for your kids if they don't like what you made?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I hate judging and bragging over picky eaters/food/one meal/five meals/kids who love book Chou. It's just food and what your kid eats or doesn't eat isn't a reflection of your parenting.[/quote]

It is unless there are health issues. Kids need to learn that it is not always about their needs, they should be able to eat without a laundry lists of things they won't eat.  It is rude.[/quote]

What's your definition of health issues? I have a child with some that aren't outwardly visible. To you she would probably just look difficult. [/quote]

my definition? If your child cannot eat a certain food or has some kind of eating issue that would prevent them from eating what is being served.  Not sure what you are asking.   If you are invited to eat at my house I assume we are good enough friends that I already know about your issue and I will make all necessary accommodations. I am fed up with the kids that come over and ask for something else when dinner is served.[/quote]

What I'm asking is, how do you decide what is worthy of being validated as a health issue? Some kids have allergies. Others have sensory processing disorder, or colitis, or IBS, or whatever.  Any can affect what kids can or will  eat in ways that are out of their control but so many people here seem determined to make what a kid will eat a judgment of their moral character or their parents'  fitness in raising them properly. [/quote]

I understand both sides of this. I have a child with food allergies & intolerances. He simply could not eat the usual 'food' that most parents seem to serve children his age (mac/cheese, pizza, fish fingers, nuggets, etc). And so I would never have him eating a meal at someone else's house, unless I knew that person well and their family had a similar style of eating to us and were also made aware of his situation and the specific things that he could eat and were totally okay with that.

I would accommodate another child's allergies too, but I would absolutely expect that to be communicated to me when the invitation was given. Not on the day/night. If a child came to my house and refused to eat what I cooked, they would be offered honey on bread, and if they declined that too (definite possibility since both the bread and the honey that we have are special types that the kid probably hadn't had before) then they would be going back to their own house. In either case, they wouldn't be invited back. It's honestly a bit hard for me to believe that this even happens, but that's what PPs have said does occur.

If your kid can't eat other people's food, I don't know why you'd put them in a situation where they had to eat other people's food. It's disrespectful to the host AND to your child. And if your kid just doesn't eat whatever they don't want to eat, depending on the day, regardless of where they are, and you had no way of knowing... sounds like you have bigger problems than what's on the menu. Which should also be clearly communicated to someone before accepting an invitation for your child to eat/stay at their house, out of respect for the host and your child. Who would want their child being somewhere where the caregiver was not happy/prepared to offer the level of care that's required for your child??

It also astounds me how some parents don't understand that food is what enables your kids to grow and develop. People say "it's just food! who cares what they eat?" and then next week they're asking how to possibly get a child to behave for an hour or two at a special event after you've dosed them up all you can for the day on their meds. Maybe if more people understood the relationship between food and development/behavior then they'd care more about what they put into their kids' mouths every day.[/quote]

To be clear, I wouldn't put my child in that situation. What I would do and have done is say, "I will be sending along a snack for her" and then letting her know she can accept the food offered or politely decline. [b]I don't need to go into the whys of why my child won't eat something offered or why she can't[/b], I have taught her to be polite in declining it, but some people here have decided to take the most malicious view of this and call the child difficult and never invite them back again.  [/quote]

look, I think you are missing the point. It is not about YOUR kid or his/her health issues. If there is an issue and you don't tell me and just send along their own food, that is even more offensive that them declining.  Do you not understand that?  The good news is that I can tell by your posts that we would never be friends IRL so your kid would never be in our home anyway. Too much drama.[/quote]

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