Do you make alternative dinners for your kids if they don't like what you made?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read this whole thread, because I've been stressed about my picky eater for years. She's now a kid that other parents know won't eat anything and she's refused invitations out of fear that she will be offered pizza and embarrassed when she refuses.

I grew up in a family where one meal was made for all. I can't believe I make my one kid a separate meal. I never thought I would and I worry about it a lot.

My other kid eats everything.

Asshole parents like the ones on this thread who happily admit they don't like and won't have over kids who won't eat whatever is served no matter what are the reason your poor kid feels embarrassed to say no thank you to pizza.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you are way too personally invested in what you think your kids' palates say about you.

Much like other aspects of our kids' personalities and personhood, much of this is out of our control.

Ha, yes.

I don't make separate meals. I do take my kids' preferences into account when planning meals, just as I take my own and my husband's. Our rule is that you have to take at least one bit of everything served, and you can only eat what's on offer. If you want to fill up on a side dish because you don't like the entree, fine. Side dishes always include some kind of simple (often raw) vegetable and usually some kind of pasta/rice/grain/bread

Also, if you are "too full" for dinner, you are also too full for dessert. Dessert is a small treat after the meal, not a substitute for it. It will not kill you to be hungry for a night, so if you refuse to eat anything (and you aren't sick), I'm not going to freak out and make you something special--you can handle waiting for breakfast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read this whole thread, because I've been stressed about my picky eater for years. She's now a kid that other parents know won't eat anything and she's refused invitations out of fear that she will be offered pizza and embarrassed when she refuses.

I grew up in a family where one meal was made for all. I can't believe I make my one kid a separate meal. I never thought I would and I worry about it a lot.

My other kid eats everything.

Asshole parents like the ones on this thread who happily admit they don't like and won't have over kids who won't eat whatever is served no matter what are the reason your poor kid feels embarrassed to say no thank you to pizza.

???

[Anonymous]

My first child was a picky eater for first few years, and my wife made two changes to address it. 1) Stopped buying packaged snacks and sugary drinks- no chips, no bars, no donuts, no juices, none of that, and only packs Fresh Fruit for school snack. 2) No food two hours before meals. Now my child finishes her plate clean. Of course, she occasionally whines about food being served, but on those days I am with her and helped her understand that dear mommy prefers compliments not complaints.

[Anonymous]

Eh we do short order cook in some ways but we do serve adult food - my husband loves Mexican, so tonight I made him ground beef with taco seasonings - my kids love red meat so I used same ground beef and made some small burgers. I don't eat red meat so I had left over chicken and a baked potato - everyone also had broccoli

[Anonymous]

never. they don't have to eat it, but nothing else gets made for the kids.

[Anonymous]

I hate judging and bragging over picky eaters/food/one meal/five meals/kids who love book Chou. It's just food and what your kid eats or doesn't eat isn't a reflection of your parenting.

[Anonymous]

I guess we're the outliers. DH has specific food intolerances and I'm a picky eater so the kids get a healthy well balanced meal and then the adults eat later with their own separate meals. We're open to their dinner suggestions but it's always with fruit and vegetables and protein. As a lifelong picky eater, I don't like the stress about food. If we are having dessert that night, they can have that whether they eat dinner or not. But if they are hungry later, they are out of luck until breakfast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate judging and bragging over picky eaters/food/one meal/five meals/kids who love book Chou. It's just food and what your kid eats or doesn't eat isn't a reflection of your parenting.

It is unless there are health issues. Kids need to learn that it is not always about their needs, they should be able to eat without a laundry lists of things they won't eat. It is rude.

[Anonymous]

I don't do it. Our rule is "You don't have to eat it, you just have to sit with us." 90% of the time, big kid (5) will eat most of what's there, even after whining and complaining. If he doesn't eat it, he's not going to starve overnight...and breakfast is always things he likes (fruit, toast, yogurt, etc). I don't feel like discussing food with him and I think that taking the pressure off helps--he knows we're not going to bug him.

My kid isn't actually picky--he's just a kid who doesn't jump for joy at roasted cauliflower. I don't know if my method would work with a truly picky eater.

Baby (1) is a super great eater. Not sure if I'm just lucky or if he's learning from sitting next to his big brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate judging and bragging over picky eaters/food/one meal/five meals/kids who love book Chou. It's just food and what your kid eats or doesn't eat isn't a reflection of your parenting.

It is unless there are health issues. Kids need to learn that it is not always about their needs, they should be able to eat without a laundry lists of things they won't eat. It is rude.

Really? I know plenty of adults who don't like certain foods. I care that my kid will take at least one bite before deciding she doesn't like something, and decline things politely, not rudely, but unless she's refusing everything, what's rude about having dislikes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate judging and bragging over picky eaters/food/one meal/five meals/kids who love book Chou. It's just food and what your kid eats or doesn't eat isn't a reflection of your parenting.

It is unless there are health issues. Kids need to learn that it is not always about their needs, they should be able to eat without a laundry lists of things they won't eat. It is rude.

Really? I know plenty of adults who don't like certain foods. I care that my kid will take at least one bite before deciding she doesn't like something, and decline things politely, not rudely, but unless she's refusing everything, what's rude about having dislikes?

yes really, I am talking about declining everything or most things. If I make dinner and your kid automatically asks for something else, rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate judging and bragging over picky eaters/food/one meal/five meals/kids who love book Chou. It's just food and what your kid eats or doesn't eat isn't a reflection of your parenting.

It is unless there are health issues. Kids need to learn that it is not always about their needs, they should be able to eat without a laundry lists of things they won't eat. It is rude.

What's your definition of health issues? I have a child with some that aren't outwardly visible. To you she would probably just look difficult.

[Anonymous]

Before I had kids I used to insist everyone would eat the same thing. Now I have two (3.5 and 10 months) and am making 3 dinners every night - one for the adults, one for the toddler, and yet another for the baby. Can't wait for a few months so at least the kids can both eat the same thing. I am totally fed up.

[Anonymous]

1) No.

2) Try again at the next meal.