How.do you afford private school? Any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

The other dirty little secret is private schools aren't all that either -- even (especially?) the top ones. Crazy UMC parents foster a pressure-cooker environment that leaves even very talented and successful kids feeling inadequate. And school (including ECs) becomes so all-consuming that there's little space for independent (or family) projects.

If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't. And not because of the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im subsidizing white middle class kids whose parents are incapable of feeling embarrassed to go to private school. At $2.5 HHI, its insignificant for me, other than the fact that my kids have to go to school with the kids of these terrible people.

Would it make you feel better if I told you we were a URM?

If you are the $225k family who gets 60% aid, then it makes me uncomfortable. Affirmative action is meant to give kids a chance who otherwise wouldn't be able to. What they are doing here is paying a wealthy family to send their (AA? Hispanic?) child to the school just to improve diversity stats.[/quote
Affirmative action? What does FA have to do with Affirmative Action if in fact that is what it is. My DC's WPPSI was in the 96% and she wowed them (their words not mine) during her Playdate. She speaks two languages, has a vast vocabulary, and a sharp analytical mind. She started learning to read at the age of three. So when I say she is exceptionally bright, she is -- by my standards and theirs. My child is no ones "affirmative action" placement, she earned her spot. As for the FA what it meant to me was they identified my DC as someone they want to invest in. At $225K we are not wealthy. We are not poor, but we are far from wealthy. We own a modest home, have high student loan debt and debt related to unconcerned medical expenses. We would happily pay full freight if we had the income.

Now let's say they are paying us to send our kid to their school for diversity stats, what's the problem with that? Have you considered that maybe out of all of their URM applicants my DC was in fact the most qualified, and that our inability to pay full freight should not interfere with her attending their school? How is paying us for diversity stats any different than paying an athlete to boost their winning record? You may earn 2.5 million and arguably are extremely successful in your chosen field, but when it comes to understanding exactly what Affirmative Action is and how it works you aren't that well versed on the nuances.

I wasn't the crazy rich OP, but I am the person you're responding to. I have never heard of a school giving that much aid to someone making that much money, so yes, my assumption was that it was due to race. I'm sure your child is amazing but a white family would not be given that much money. Schools very rightly want to increase diversity and do so by giving out aid, but I find it cynical when they do so by bringing in children of black lawyers and doctors who would do well wherever they went, rather than kids who really need it. Of course they should have admitted her, but they should offer aid to everyone at the same income level using the same rules.

We make about $250k and I do consider us wealthy. I would not apply for or expect aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im subsidizing white middle class kids whose parents are incapable of feeling embarrassed to go to private school. At $2.5 HHI, its insignificant for me, other than the fact that my kids have to go to school with the kids of these terrible people.

Would it make you feel better if I told you we were a URM?

If you are the $225k family who gets 60% aid, then it makes me uncomfortable. Affirmative action is meant to give kids a chance who otherwise wouldn't be able to. What they are doing here is paying a wealthy family to send their (AA? Hispanic?) child to the school just to improve diversity stats.[/quote
Affirmative action? What does FA have to do with Affirmative Action if in fact that is what it is. My DC's WPPSI was in the 96% and she wowed them (their words not mine) during her Playdate. She speaks two languages, has a vast vocabulary, and a sharp analytical mind. She started learning to read at the age of three. So when I say she is exceptionally bright, she is -- by my standards and theirs. My child is no ones "affirmative action" placement, she earned her spot. As for the FA what it meant to me was they identified my DC as someone they want to invest in. At $225K we are not wealthy. We are not poor, but we are far from wealthy. We own a modest home, have high student loan debt and debt related to unconcerned medical expenses. We would happily pay full freight if we had the income.

Now let's say they are paying us to send our kid to their school for diversity stats, what's the problem with that? Have you considered that maybe out of all of their URM applicants my DC was in fact the most qualified, and that our inability to pay full freight should not interfere with her attending their school? How is paying us for diversity stats any different than paying an athlete to boost their winning record? You may earn 2.5 million and arguably are extremely successful in your chosen field, but when it comes to understanding exactly what Affirmative Action is and how it works you aren't that well versed on the nuances.

I wasn't the crazy rich OP, but I am the person you're responding to. I have never heard of a school giving that much aid to someone making that much money, so yes, my assumption was that it was due to race. I'm sure your child is amazing but a white family would not be given that much money. Schools very rightly want to increase diversity and do so by giving out aid, but I find it cynical when they do so by bringing in children of black lawyers and doctors who would do well wherever they went, rather than kids who really need it. Of course they should have admitted her, but they should offer aid to everyone at the same income level using the same rules.

We make about $250k and I do consider us wealthy. I would not apply for or expect aid.

News flash, even if you're white, you will likely get aid too at 250k. Just cause you choose to suffer is not on me. The aid is there, I apply, and the school chooses to give it.

[Anonymous]

OP's question sounds a bit like those Bernie Sander's supporters: we want FREE college. Where do you think FREE comes from? Do you think colleges stop paying the heating bill, the light bill and then everything's free? It's free because of redistribution. They take money from one group of people and give it to someone else.
What a lot of the working moms here are objecting to is a system that takes the money that they woke up early and worked for and gives it to someone who chooses to stay home. And the fact that the stay at homer thinks that's fair somehow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im subsidizing white middle class kids whose parents are incapable of feeling embarrassed to go to private school. At $2.5 HHI, its insignificant for me, other than the fact that my kids have to go to school with the kids of these terrible people.

Would it make you feel better if I told you we were a URM?

If you are the $225k family who gets 60% aid, then it makes me uncomfortable. Affirmative action is meant to give kids a chance who otherwise wouldn't be able to. What they are doing here is paying a wealthy family to send their (AA? Hispanic?) child to the school just to improve diversity stats.[/quote
Affirmative action? What does FA have to do with Affirmative Action if in fact that is what it is. My DC's WPPSI was in the 96% and she wowed them (their words not mine) during her Playdate. She speaks two languages, has a vast vocabulary, and a sharp analytical mind. She started learning to read at the age of three. So when I say she is exceptionally bright, she is -- by my standards and theirs. My child is no ones "affirmative action" placement, she earned her spot. As for the FA what it meant to me was they identified my DC as someone they want to invest in. At $225K we are not wealthy. We are not poor, but we are far from wealthy. We own a modest home, have high student loan debt and debt related to unconcerned medical expenses. We would happily pay full freight if we had the income.

Now let's say they are paying us to send our kid to their school for diversity stats, what's the problem with that? Have you considered that maybe out of all of their URM applicants my DC was in fact the most qualified, and that our inability to pay full freight should not interfere with her attending their school? How is paying us for diversity stats any different than paying an athlete to boost their winning record? You may earn 2.5 million and arguably are extremely successful in your chosen field, but when it comes to understanding exactly what Affirmative Action is and how it works you aren't that well versed on the nuances.

I wasn't the crazy rich OP, but I am the person you're responding to. I have never heard of a school giving that much aid to someone making that much money, so yes, my assumption was that it was due to race. I'm sure your child is amazing but a white family would not be given that much money. Schools very rightly want to increase diversity and do so by giving out aid, but I find it cynical when they do so by bringing in children of black lawyers and doctors who would do well wherever they went, rather than kids who really need it. Of course they should have admitted her, but they should offer aid to everyone at the same income level using the same rules.

We make about $250k and I do consider us wealthy. I would not apply for or expect aid.

News flash, even if you're white, you will likely get aid too at 250k. Just cause you choose to suffer is not on me. The aid is there, I apply, and the school chooses to give it.

Really? $250k Wealthy? Where do you live? I make $400K a year and I consider myself middle class (maybe upper middle) for the DC Metro Area but far from wealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The other dirty little secret is private schools aren't all that either -- even (especially?) the top ones. Crazy UMC parents foster a pressure-cooker environment that leaves even very talented and successful kids feeling inadequate. And school (including ECs) becomes so all-consuming that there's little space for independent (or family) projects.

If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't. And not because of the money.

+1 agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP's question sounds a bit like those Bernie Sander's supporters: we want FREE college. Where do you think FREE comes from? Do you think colleges stop paying the heating bill, the light bill and then everything's free? It's free because of redistribution. They take money from one group of people and give it to someone else.
What a lot of the working moms here are objecting to is a system that takes the money that they woke up early and worked for and gives it to someone who chooses to stay home. And the fact that the stay at homer thinks that's fair somehow.

Which one is it? Struggling middle class two income families who use private to calm their nerves over guilt of absent parenting it what I read here the majority has a DH makes a shitload of $.

[Anonymous]

If you think it's unfair to working parents and you want to SAH, then SAH. That's pretty simple. In the end, my guess is that most people who feel that way don't want to give up working for a host of other reasons that they don't count as things SAHPs forego -- until they, themselves, face losing those things by making a different decision.

I'm not pro or anti SAH -- I just recognize that there are complicated trade-offs and people make different choices. I think govt could soften those trade-offs, but as a society, we don't seem to be interested in doing that. So individuals find themselves choosing between suboptimal alternatives and they choose whatever bundle works best for their situation. Let's be kind to each other (crazy thing to say on DCUM, I know) and not make a hard choices harder.

(And if your choice wasn't hard -- that's great! Enjoy your good fortune without criticizing others.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you think it's unfair to working parents and you want to SAH, then SAH. That's pretty simple. In the end, my guess is that most people who feel that way don't want to give up working for a host of other reasons that they don't count as things SAHPs forego -- until they, themselves, face losing those things by making a different decision.

I'm not pro or anti SAH -- I just recognize that there are complicated trade-offs and people make different choices. I think govt could soften those trade-offs, but as a society, we don't seem to be interested in doing that. So individuals find themselves choosing between suboptimal alternatives and they choose whatever bundle works best for their situation. Let's be kind to each other (crazy thing to say on DCUM, I know) and not make a hard choices harder.

(And if your choice wasn't hard -- that's great! Enjoy your good fortune without criticizing others.)

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im subsidizing white middle class kids whose parents are incapable of feeling embarrassed to go to private school. At $2.5 HHI, its insignificant for me, other than the fact that my kids have to go to school with the kids of these terrible people.

Would it make you feel better if I told you we were a URM?

If you are the $225k family who gets 60% aid, then it makes me uncomfortable. Affirmative action is meant to give kids a chance who otherwise wouldn't be able to. What they are doing here is paying a wealthy family to send their (AA? Hispanic?) child to the school just to improve diversity stats.[/quote
Affirmative action? What does FA have to do with Affirmative Action if in fact that is what it is. My DC's WPPSI was in the 96% and she wowed them (their words not mine) during her Playdate. She speaks two languages, has a vast vocabulary, and a sharp analytical mind. She started learning to read at the age of three. So when I say she is exceptionally bright, she is -- by my standards and theirs. My child is no ones "affirmative action" placement, she earned her spot. As for the FA what it meant to me was they identified my DC as someone they want to invest in. At $225K we are not wealthy. We are not poor, but we are far from wealthy. We own a modest home, have high student loan debt and debt related to unconcerned medical expenses. We would happily pay full freight if we had the income.

Now let's say they are paying us to send our kid to their school for diversity stats, what's the problem with that? Have you considered that maybe out of all of their URM applicants my DC was in fact the most qualified, and that our inability to pay full freight should not interfere with her attending their school? How is paying us for diversity stats any different than paying an athlete to boost their winning record? You may earn 2.5 million and arguably are extremely successful in your chosen field, but when it comes to understanding exactly what Affirmative Action is and how it works you aren't that well versed on the nuances.

I wasn't the crazy rich OP, but I am the person you're responding to. I have never heard of a school giving that much aid to someone making that much money, so yes, my assumption was that it was due to race. I'm sure your child is amazing but a white family would not be given that much money. Schools very rightly want to increase diversity and do so by giving out aid, but I find it cynical when they do so by bringing in children of black lawyers and doctors who would do well wherever they went, rather than kids who really need it. Of course they should have admitted her, but they should offer aid to everyone at the same income level using the same rules.

We make about $250k and I do consider us wealthy. I would not apply for or expect aid.

Unless you have inherited wealth, you are not wealthy AND you aren't even high income. You ARE stupid, if you wouldn't even apply for the aid.

[Anonymous]

There are people who consider it a moral problem to take hand-outs. Too bad for our culture that there aren't more of us left.

[Anonymous]

Again I say wAit to apply until at least middle school when your kid has grades and scores that mean something. Our experience has been that if yourchild is really in the top 5 percent of private school applicants the Big 3 schools will make it financially feasible for your child to attend. One of ours entered in 9th and one in 6th. People can object to middle class people getting financial aid but in truth these schools have to give it to compete in college admissions. Not everyone
Who will have the academic and ECs to get into the ivies and similar colleges is rich. It's not about the parents and their ideas of what's right or wrong in FA. At the middle school and upper school levels it's all about the child and what he or she can do for their school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are people who consider it a moral problem to take hand-outs. Too bad for our culture that there aren't more of us left.

Costs have gone up so much that everyone with a HHI under 400 with 2+ kids should apply for aid. Not a handout, I consider it a discount. I get aid and even with it, I happily throw down 5200 a month, which is not chump change and I don't even think twice about your feelings and lack of nice restaurants/vacations cause you choose to be a martyr when you don't have to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are people who consider it a moral problem to take hand-outs. Too bad for our culture that there aren't more of us left.

Costs have gone up so much that everyone with a HHI under 400 with 2+ kids should apply for aid. Not a handout, I consider it a discount. I get aid and even with it, I happily throw down 5200 a month, which is not chump change and I don't even think twice about your feelings and lack of nice restaurants/vacations cause you choose to be a martyr when you don't have to.

Its not a discount, it's a hand-out. There is a certain amount of money that it costs torun the school. The school is not allowed, in order to maintain their tax status, to make a profit. So, the financial aid you receive is actually money paid by someone else - either through tuition or annual fund donation. Which technically makes it.....a handout. How you decide to rationalize the handout is up to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are people who consider it a moral problem to take hand-outs. Too bad for our culture that there aren't more of us left.

Costs have gone up so much that everyone with a HHI under 400 with 2+ kids should apply for aid. Not a handout, I consider it a discount. I get aid and even with it, I happily throw down 5200 a month, which is not chump change and I don't even think twice about your feelings and lack of nice restaurants/vacations cause you choose to be a martyr when you don't have to.

Its not a discount, it's a hand-out. There is a certain amount of money that it costs torun the school. The school is not allowed, in order to maintain their tax status, to make a profit. So, the financial aid you receive is actually money paid by someone else - either through tuition or annual fund donation. Which technically makes it.....a handout. How you decide to rationalize the handout is up to you.

+1