How.do you afford private school? Any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

We get a scholarship, but also:
1. Live in an apartment in a working class, urban neighborhood
2. Drive old cars or use public transit
3. Shop at thrift stores first, Walmart or Target second, Amazon orOverstock third, and other stores only when there's a sale/coupon
4. We use or do as much free stuff as possible. My kids hear a ton of live music in the warm months, we borrow library books. We do see movies in the summer once a week maybe, but we go to a matinee and sneak in our own snacks.
5. We don't do memberships unless someone gives it to us.
6. Other than a yearly trim, my younger kid and don't visit salons. I trim my partner's hair at home.
7. Christmas is a religious holiday and not a gift-giving extravaganza for us. We do simple gifts. Often things that are practical (new bike) and sometimes we blatantly regift to each other.
8. My kids know that I prioritize health and education. They seldom ask for frivolous things just because their friends have it. We replace things when they are worn out or outgrown not just last year's fashion or scuffed up sports equipment.
9. We don't go to Disney or Chuck E Cheese or anything else designed to suck money out of us. My kids have been to the Caribbean, Canada, Europe, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We get a scholarship, but also:
1. Live in an apartment in a working class, urban neighborhood
2. Drive old cars or use public transit
3. Shop at thrift stores first, Walmart or Target second, Amazon orOverstock third, and other stores only when there's a sale/coupon
4. We use or do as much free stuff as possible. My kids hear a ton of live music in the warm months, we borrow library books. We do see movies in the summer once a week maybe, but we go to a matinee and sneak in our own snacks.
5. We don't do memberships unless someone gives it to us.
6. Other than a yearly trim, my younger kid and don't visit salons. I trim my partner's hair at home.
7. Christmas is a religious holiday and not a gift-giving extravaganza for us. We do simple gifts. Often things that are practical (new bike) and sometimes we blatantly regift to each other.
8. My kids know that I prioritize health and education. They seldom ask for frivolous things just because their friends have it. We replace things when they are worn out or outgrown not just last year's fashion or scuffed up sports equipment.
9. We don't go to Disney or Chuck E Cheese or anything else designed to suck money out of us. My kids have been to the Caribbean, Canada, Europe, etc.

This is a great list... In large part, this is how we live too. But come on, it's completely disingenuous to claim you "live cheaply" when you pay $10k+ a year for education. Education K-12 is free in this country. You may shop at thrift stores, but you purchase a MAJOR luxury item every year (times however many kids you have.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We get a scholarship, but also:
1. Live in an apartment in a working class, urban neighborhood
2. Drive old cars or use public transit
3. Shop at thrift stores first, Walmart or Target second, Amazon orOverstock third, and other stores only when there's a sale/coupon
4. We use or do as much free stuff as possible. My kids hear a ton of live music in the warm months, we borrow library books. We do see movies in the summer once a week maybe, but we go to a matinee and sneak in our own snacks.
5. We don't do memberships unless someone gives it to us.
6. Other than a yearly trim, my younger kid and don't visit salons. I trim my partner's hair at home.
7. Christmas is a religious holiday and not a gift-giving extravaganza for us. We do simple gifts. Often things that are practical (new bike) and sometimes we blatantly regift to each other.
8. My kids know that I prioritize health and education. They seldom ask for frivolous things just because their friends have it. We replace things when they are worn out or outgrown not just last year's fashion or scuffed up sports equipment.
9. We don't go to Disney or Chuck E Cheese or anything else designed to suck money out of us. My kids have been to the Caribbean, Canada, Europe, etc.

This is a great list... In large part, this is how we live too. But come on, it's completely disingenuous to claim you "live cheaply" when you pay $10k+ a year for education. Education K-12 is free in this country. You may shop at thrift stores, but you purchase a MAJOR luxury item every year (times however many kids you have.)

I didn't see anything that suggested they "live cheaply."
She said they prioritize health and education. She also said they travel abroad. I think the point is the things they value they are willing to put money into and the things that seem trivial they budget on. That's not living cheaply, that's spending their money where it matters most to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an Exeter grad who might have considered sending my kids to a DC private, but no way in hell after reading this thread. You people are awful. I'm sticking with our EOTP DCPS, where we have brilliant kids from all backgrounds, and none of the God awful snobbery you have displayed here. Bunch of idiotic peacocks. I feel sorry for your kids. Your ignorance undermines the excellent education they are receiving.

I bet Exeter parents were snobs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an Exeter grad who might have considered sending my kids to a DC private, but no way in hell after reading this thread. You people are awful. I'm sticking with our EOTP DCPS, where we have brilliant kids from all backgrounds, and none of the God awful snobbery you have displayed here. Bunch of idiotic peacocks. I feel sorry for your kids. Your ignorance undermines the excellent education they are receiving.

Why would you even think of including dcum in your decision making is beyond me.

[Anonymous]

I bet most people would agree that economic diversity is a positive thing and that offering FA to needy kids is good for both the receiver and the rest of the community. What's tough to bear, and controversial on this thread, is the idea that a kid from a one percenter family making $600k a year is needy and the type of family we're trying to reach with FA. As a family that makes far less and pays full freight by being frugal, this is what's offensive. I'm happy to help support FA at my school for those who actually need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an Exeter grad who might have considered sending my kids to a DC private, but no way in hell after reading this thread. You people are awful. I'm sticking with our EOTP DCPS, where we have brilliant kids from all backgrounds, and none of the God awful snobbery you have displayed here. Bunch of idiotic peacocks. I feel sorry for your kids. Your ignorance undermines the excellent education they are receiving.

Why would you even think of including dcum in your decision making is beyond me.

+1

[Anonymous]

There's some awfully gullible people posting in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an Exeter grad who might have considered sending my kids to a DC private, but no way in hell after reading this thread. You people are awful. I'm sticking with our EOTP DCPS, where we have brilliant kids from all backgrounds, and none of the God awful snobbery you have displayed here. Bunch of idiotic peacocks. I feel sorry for your kids. Your ignorance undermines the excellent education they are receiving.

If you're basing such an important decision on the postings of a bunch of random internet trolls (how many are actually private school parents? Who knows?) then I think Exeter didn't teach you much about good judgment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an Exeter grad who might have considered sending my kids to a DC private, but no way in hell after reading this thread. You people are awful. I'm sticking with our EOTP DCPS, where we have brilliant kids from all backgrounds, and none of the God awful snobbery you have displayed here. Bunch of idiotic peacocks. I feel sorry for your kids. Your ignorance undermines the excellent education they are receiving.

If you're basing such an important decision on the postings of a bunch of random internet trolls (how many are actually private school parents? Who knows?) then I think Exeter didn't teach you much about good judgment.

And your decision is based on what? Walking the grounds and feeling the magic in the air? The sales pitch from admin and the headmaster?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an Exeter grad who might have considered sending my kids to a DC private, but no way in hell after reading this thread. You people are awful. I'm sticking with our EOTP DCPS, where we have brilliant kids from all backgrounds, and none of the God awful snobbery you have displayed here. Bunch of idiotic peacocks. I feel sorry for your kids. Your ignorance undermines the excellent education they are receiving.

If you're basing such an important decision on the postings of a bunch of random internet trolls (how many are actually private school parents? Who knows?) then I think Exeter didn't teach you much about good judgment.

And your decision is based on what? Walking the grounds and feeling the magic in the air? The sales pitch from admin and the headmaster?

My decision was based on the poor experience my kids had at DCPS and has been confirmed by several years of outstanding education at their private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an Exeter grad who might have considered sending my kids to a DC private, but no way in hell after reading this thread. You people are awful. I'm sticking with our EOTP DCPS, where we have brilliant kids from all backgrounds, and none of the God awful snobbery you have displayed here. Bunch of idiotic peacocks. I feel sorry for your kids. Your ignorance undermines the excellent education they are receiving.

Why would you even think of including dcum in your decision making is beyond me.

Im not, just making an observation. The public schools are fine for my children. I have always said I dont want them to know that there are such things as $400 shirts or vacation homes in Aspen until they are old enough to put that in context and know that's completely excessive.Im sure many Exeter parents were snobs, but it's a boarding school, so that didnt factor in. Service and humility are a big part of the culture there. It would be hugely gauche to discuss wealth and social class (climbing) the way parents on this board do. And I agree, reading dcum is a filthy habit, but I guess you have it too! and i really want to know, are you more baffled that i'd write off a particular school based on disgusting comments on this board than you are outraged by the attitudes among parents in your "highly selective" school community? Think about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if we're snarky op but many of us work long hours in stressful jobs to pay for private so it's frustrating when someone who gets to stay at home with their kids plus their DH has a govt job that's probably a lot fewer hours than our private sector jobs and they want FA so they can also attend the same schools for which we sacrifice a lot of time and money. The Chicago poster was pretty entitled, so I think you are getting unfairly blamed for some that. I think public schools are pretty great around here and in your situation i would try them first. If you really want private, I would research the ones that provide tuition remission for employees or offer generous FA packages to their employees, and see if you can get a job at the desired school.

So you are mad at someone who is receiving FA because of the choices you made? That's dumb. If you want to be a SAHM, then do so...and apply for FA. It's pure nonsense that everyone should make the same choices you made. It's also a bit snarky of you to think that being a SAHM isn't just as stressful, if not more, than your long hours job. Like seriously. I am not a SAHM, but I certainly don't profess to know what life is like for a SAHM. It's also pretty ridiculous that you think that everyone who works in a government job works a lot fewer hours than you. I work in the government and work at least 60 hours a week on the regular including long days and evenings. If you have never worked in the government you have NO idea what life is like for every government employee. If the only reason you are working those long hours in your crappy stressful job is to send your kids to private school, you have bigger issues than your long days. If you think the public schools are so great, why aren't you sending your kid to one? Oh let me guess, they are entitled to better than great because you work long stressful hours. Please, sounds like the way you deal with your guilt for being an absent parent.

No, I don't think my kids are entitled to private school. I pay for it and don't expect someone else to pay for it when I'm capable of earning a salary to pay for it. Everything is about choices and if I chose to work for a non profit oR stay at home then I would put my kids in public school. Remember- there are many many great publics in this area where kids are getting a great education. No one is entitled to a private school education.

And if she chooses to be a SAHM and her husband chooses to work for the government and they get FA to send their kid to private school that's completely fine too. Last time I checked no private school is interested in having a non-diversified socio-economic student body.

I don't think it's completely fine. I don't think FA should be for people who could be earning more if they made some changes to their lifestyle, but chose not to. Honestly, the OP could try for FA and maybe she'll even get some - but if she really wanted private, isn't the most assured way of affording it for her DH to look for a higher paying private sector job and for her to go back to work? Also - I'm not sure privates are falling all over each other to provide lots of FA at the elementary level to someone like OP anyway. There are a lot of really bright kids whose parents can pay for school she is competing with. Besides, the vast majority of people I know--including people at very high income levels--send their kids to public schools, so not sure why some posters are so upset that i'm suggesting that would most likely be a good choice for OP.

The vast majority of people could make more money if they had made different choices. For example, every sahm out there could earn an income. All of those parents who had kids very young or single moms who had babies out of wedlock. All of these decisions result in families earning a lower income than others. My husband and I waited to have kids and now earn 400k plus. Had we had kids going we would have been making much much less and wouldn't have time to save up a downpayment for a home.

Such perfect choices! If only everyone had made perfect choices. Whatever. I waited to have kids too and ended up paying over $60K for IVF because nothing was absolutely wrong with me or my DH, we were just of advanced age. Life is no crystal stair and there is no plotting the perfect course. Yes, we get FA and yes in part because we have that hefty medical debt hanging over us.

Last PP, I love your response. I had children young for DCUM standards because of medical risks. If I would have waited, I would be old, with a chronic illness and childless. People need to mind their own business and understand that life is not perfect for everyone. Good luck to those who make "perfect choices."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an Exeter grad who might have considered sending my kids to a DC private, but no way in hell after reading this thread. You people are awful. I'm sticking with our EOTP DCPS, where we have brilliant kids from all backgrounds, and none of the God awful snobbery you have displayed here. Bunch of idiotic peacocks. I feel sorry for your kids. Your ignorance undermines the excellent education they are receiving.

Why would you even think of including dcum in your decision making is beyond me.

Im not, just making an observation. The public schools are fine for my children. I have always said I dont want them to know that there are such things as $400 shirts or vacation homes in Aspen until they are old enough to put that in context and know that's completely excessive.Im sure many Exeter parents were snobs, but it's a boarding school, so that didnt factor in. Service and humility are a big part of the culture there. It would be hugely gauche to discuss wealth and social class (climbing) the way parents on this board do. And I agree, reading dcum is a filthy habit, but I guess you have it too! and i really want to know, are you more baffled that i'd write off a particular school based on disgusting comments on this board than you are outraged by the attitudes among parents in your "highly selective" school community? Think about it.

There are roughly 500 families in my school, I'm not surprised that a few of them are horrible, but my actual experience at my school is wonderful. If you're happy at your DCPS then it sounds like you've also made the right choice for your family. I hope there aren't any bad parents there, or trolls on DCUM who pose as snobby parents from your school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if we're snarky op but many of us work long hours in stressful jobs to pay for private so it's frustrating when someone who gets to stay at home with their kids plus their DH has a govt job that's probably a lot fewer hours than our private sector jobs and they want FA so they can also attend the same schools for which we sacrifice a lot of time and money. The Chicago poster was pretty entitled, so I think you are getting unfairly blamed for some that. I think public schools are pretty great around here and in your situation i would try them first. If you really want private, I would research the ones that provide tuition remission for employees or offer generous FA packages to their employees, and see if you can get a job at the desired school.

So you are mad at someone who is receiving FA because of the choices you made? That's dumb. If you want to be a SAHM, then do so...and apply for FA. It's pure nonsense that everyone should make the same choices you made. It's also a bit snarky of you to think that being a SAHM isn't just as stressful, if not more, than your long hours job. Like seriously. I am not a SAHM, but I certainly don't profess to know what life is like for a SAHM. It's also pretty ridiculous that you think that everyone who works in a government job works a lot fewer hours than you. I work in the government and work at least 60 hours a week on the regular including long days and evenings. If you have never worked in the government you have NO idea what life is like for every government employee. If the only reason you are working those long hours in your crappy stressful job is to send your kids to private school, you have bigger issues than your long days. If you think the public schools are so great, why aren't you sending your kid to one? Oh let me guess, they are entitled to better than great because you work long stressful hours. Please, sounds like the way you deal with your guilt for being an absent parent.

No, I don't think my kids are entitled to private school. I pay for it and don't expect someone else to pay for it when I'm capable of earning a salary to pay for it. Everything is about choices and if I chose to work for a non profit oR stay at home then I would put my kids in public school. Remember- there are many many great publics in this area where kids are getting a great education. No one is entitled to a private school education.

And if she chooses to be a SAHM and her husband chooses to work for the government and they get FA to send their kid to private school that's completely fine too. Last time I checked no private school is interested in having a non-diversified socio-economic student body.

I don't think it's completely fine. I don't think FA should be for people who could be earning more if they made some changes to their lifestyle, but chose not to. Honestly, the OP could try for FA and maybe she'll even get some - but if she really wanted private, isn't the most assured way of affording it for her DH to look for a higher paying private sector job and for her to go back to work? Also - I'm not sure privates are falling all over each other to provide lots of FA at the elementary level to someone like OP anyway. There are a lot of really bright kids whose parents can pay for school she is competing with. Besides, the vast majority of people I know--including people at very high income levels--send their kids to public schools, so not sure why some posters are so upset that i'm suggesting that would most likely be a good choice for OP.

Well, a number of FA recipients at our school are teachers and social workers, people who work in low-paid careers whose work directly contributes to others' well-being.

I'm perfectly happy to contribute to the scholarship and annual funds so that the children of people who value service over money can attend school with my children. I would be more grumpy, however, to subsidize a SAHM. Not that I don't think it's great. I think it's a personal choice that I should not have to subsidize.