How.do you afford private school? Any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like the best solution for you OP. Nothing that is available in public school will appeal to you - it doesn't matter if it is Reggio, Montessori, or play-based as the majority of DCPS/DCPCS are. I don't think you will even find what you want in most privates to be honest. You sound insufferable and you are encouraging your child to become even more of a snowflake than you've already made her. I'm being harsh with you because I truly think you have no conception of how much your self-centered thinking affects others when you try to have every luxury you want at no sacrifice to yourself. Have you offered to collect cans or do other piece-meal work to add to the coffers, even after hearing what other PPs and their parents did?

OP here. This doesn't warrant a response, but okay, I'll bite. Please lay out for me how I'm being selfish... because it's clear you came at my question with your shorts in a bundle from the beginning and determined to make a point that you can't seem to make stick, so you just keep getting nastier and nastier. From the start, you've assumed I fit some stereotype of a selfish person perhaps you've met at your kid's school and dislike, but if you actually paid attention to anything I've said, you would have noticed that I just can't be pegged into the stereotype.

First, I have never asked for a "handout" from schools, nor have I assumed that I would get one. If you read my initial post, you would have noticed that I said I didn't think we'd qualify for financial aid, so this was not on my radar. I have never said that I felt entitled to any funds from these schools or other places. Other people have simply answered my question about how they pay for private school (which was my initial question) and said that they receive financial aid despite having what seems like a fairly high income (though as one PP pointed out, we don't know their level of debt, etc.).

Second, you should also have noticed that I said I gave staying at home a lot of thought before choosing to do it and did so with some sacrifices for myself (career, income, expenses, etc). I also mentioned in a subsequent post that I have done part-time work on the evenings and weekends so that I could work without needing to pay for childcare but that I'm not doing that at the moment because I have a young baby. And I said that although I would ideally stay home with this baby until he's a bit older, I absolutely plan to go back to work in the future when both kids are in school.

Furthermore, I have been extremely active in my child's preschools (including one that was a coop, so I was working in the classroom once a week in addition to doing a lot of volunteer work on initiatives for the schools outside of the classroom). As a SAHM, I'm probably more available to do a lot of these things than other parents may be, so I've actually contributed a LOT to the schools that my kid has gone to besides simply writing checks for tuition, and I intend to continue to do that as my kids get older.

Finally, I don't live in the city, so DC charter schools with alternative methods of instruction are not an option for us. While I can see the reasons why homeschooling might make sense for us, I also feel strongly that a school environment is very beneficial for kids (especially shy ones), that teachers at such a school could do a better job than I could, and that kids benefit from experiencing a variety of different teaching/leadership styles from multiple adults in their lives. Our current preschool uses one of the methodologies you mention and is FANTASTIC. As I mentioned in my recent post, it's a major reason why I would like to try to find an elementary school of similar quality.

If parents who consider sending their kids to private school because they think it may be better for them than public school are automatically "special snowflakes," then I certainly think yours fall into the same category.

[Anonymous]

^ but OP, regarding your second paragraph that you didn't ask for how to get aid, true, but then it begs the question of how on earth do you think people afford any luxury? Including private school?
Money!
The first 2 pages were entire responses that basically said "you can't afford it, we don't understand what you are trying to say" and the only answer is "make more money and spend it."
You came back with that not being an option. Which is fine.
But then the only possible answer, if not "you need to earn money and pay for it", is financial aid.

So then we are back at the beginning where you are a SAHM choosing not to work and would like other people to work and pay for your child's private school.

[Anonymous]

INSUFERRABLE.

[Anonymous]

The most amazing thing about OP, and there are many, is that she managed to hook some poor man (her DH) who now must listen to her mouth every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im subsidizing white middle class kids whose parents are incapable of feeling embarrassed to go to private school. At $2.5 HHI, its insignificant for me, other than the fact that my kids have to go to school with the kids of these terrible people.

Would it make you feel better if I told you we were a URM?

If you are the $225k family who gets 60% aid, then it makes me uncomfortable. Affirmative action is meant to give kids a chance who otherwise wouldn't be able to. What they are doing here is paying a wealthy family to send their (AA? Hispanic?) child to the school just to improve diversity stats.[/quote
Affirmative action? What does FA have to do with Affirmative Action if in fact that is what it is. My DC's WPPSI was in the 96% and she wowed them (their words not mine) during her Playdate. She speaks two languages, has a vast vocabulary, and a sharp analytical mind. She started learning to read at the age of three. So when I say she is exceptionally bright, she is -- by my standards and theirs. My child is no ones "affirmative action" placement, she earned her spot. As for the FA what it meant to me was they identified my DC as someone they want to invest in. At $225K we are not wealthy. We are not poor, but we are far from wealthy. We own a modest home, have high student loan debt and debt related to unconcerned medical expenses. We would happily pay full freight if we had the income.

Now let's say they are paying us to send our kid to their school for diversity stats, what's the problem with that? Have you considered that maybe out of all of their URM applicants my DC was in fact the most qualified, and that our inability to pay full freight should not interfere with her attending their school? How is paying us for diversity stats any different than paying an athlete to boost their winning record? You may earn 2.5 million and arguably are extremely successful in your chosen field, but when it comes to understanding exactly what Affirmative Action is and how it works you aren't that well versed on the nuances.

[Anonymous]

OP here's the beauty DCUM -- none of these self righteous people's opinion matter! LOL. Take the good advice your were given and roll with it. Best of luck to you in finding the right school and finding creative ways to afford it.

[Anonymous]

OP, make the rounds of the independent schools in the fall, figure out if there's one that fits the bill, first choice it, feel free to apply for financial aid because anyone can. You may get it, you may not. If you don't and you can't afford it without aid, go to public school. Public school is not a curse by any means. Nor is private perfect

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you have over $100k in 529s for each of your children, you simply can't afford it.

Let's get back to the point here. What is the balance in your 529 accounts for each child? If you are not saving aggressively for college then you have no business applying to private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you have over $100k in 529s for each of your children, you simply can't afford it.

Let's get back to the point here. What is the balance in your 529 accounts for each child? If you are not saving aggressively for college then you have no business applying to private school.

That's a stupid argument. There are many schools that offer merit aid.

[Anonymous]

DH makes a shitload of $.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH makes a shitload of $.

And you do what? A useless user? Like seriously are you anything without "DH?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH makes a shitload of $.

And you do what? A useless user? Like seriously are you anything without "DH?"

i'm not the PP, but she is answering the question posed by the OP. Which is probably the answer for 70% of the people sending their kids to private school. Who knows what she does - maybe she works too, maybe she is active in charities, maybe she does nothing - but it's beside the point to the question raised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH makes a shitload of $.

And you do what? A useless user? Like seriously are you anything without "DH?"

Not PP but that has nothing to do with it. The OP is asking how people pay for private school, and honestly, this right here or some combination of "We both work and make a boatload" is the answer.

[Anonymous]

OP, actually to me you sound like a lot of DCUMs who are beginning to contemplate elementary education options for their kids. You want the ultimate, perfect, amazing program for your child and it's suddenly dawning on you that public schools, even great ones, may not be all that. I remember that feeling, and I think it's even worse for SAHMs because you've had the luxury of not having to accept the compromises that inevitably come with FT childcare for young children (whether it's a daycare or nanny.) And you're sitting here reading DCUM and hearing how even the great public school systems, whether it's MoCo or Fairfax or Arlington, are overcrowded and teach to the test and suck in a million other ways.

But here's the dirty little secret: even though public schools may not be as great as they were when you were young or where you grew up, and even though your child is the most special snowflake ever who would thrive in the individualized, high-maintenance world of an elite private school, she will probably do just fine at a decent public school. Even better than just fine. Many of us have kids who do wonderfully in public schools. So pine away for privates, and scheme all you want to figure out how you can get someone else to pay for it. But if and when you come back to the real world, you'll realize the area public schools are pretty damn good and that your child may even thrive there.

[Anonymous]

Wow, gatekeeping at full work here.