Anti-Indian sentiment on DCUM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all those posters whose Indian parents came over in the 60s and are lamenting the loss of the "real" Indian values in Indian kids today...I've got news for you. Those 2000s kids are the real Indians. Your parents are frozen in time and nobody in India is like that anymore. I say this as someone who came to the US for undergrad in 2001. I still have all my family in India, visit every year unlike very old Indian immigrants who don't have much to do with the country anymore.

Actually most of that generation visits every year because they now have the money to do so. They didn't before. The generation that came over in the 60s worked hard to get here. The generation that came over in the 2000s came over because they have rich families that could afford to send them here (people like you - what other 20 something can afford to go back to India every year?).

Not PP, bu another 20s indian who came here on a full scholarship and saved carefully so I could go to India every year. Tickets to India are not very expensive you know. Less expensive than half a dozen shabby-chic dresses you probably buy at Anthro.

Wonderful how this thread went for others hating on Indians to Indians hating on Indians?

For the record, those that came here in the 60s and 70s mostly came with nothing. $8 in the case of my parents. They didn't get full scholarships to American universities, they were granted visas to fill the science and medical void that was here at the time so they came to work their asses off and hope for a better life for their kids. India was only a couple of decades out of colonialism and the prospects for the new country were not moving very fast. They felt the pangs of colonialism and the growing pains (and wars) of a new country.

When you have nothing and you come to a new country (without the knowledge that we can now get from Google and the Internet), where pretty much no one you know has ever been to and you know no one in that new country- your immediate NEED is survival. Not saving up spare dollars for yearly trips to India when air travel was not as common and WAY more expensive than it is now. This was back when people actually dressed up in the best clothes for that international flight, not comfy leggings and a hoodie.

These were the people that paved the path for you. They set up Indian restaurants, Indian grocery stores, temples, etc. That sent money back home, they saved pennies to file for their brothers and sisters to come here.

Hate on the "older" generation and Indian American kids all you want, but without them you wouldn't have the opportunities you now do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think Indians are the next intellectuals who will save our country from those who have been here for more than two generations. I am highly pro-Indian.

+1

[Anonymous]

Agree with this 100%:
unabashed arrogance, their need to command center stage, to talk endlessly, to constantly interrupt, all from the beginning of an encounter to the end of an encounter. Indians rarely dialogue, they monologue. It is hard not to conclude that they see themselves as special, better, more knowledgeable about anything and everything than the person they find themselves with. I invariably come away from such conversations—if they can be called that—thinking of Indians as simply insufferable. I suspect it is very much bound up with India’s long rigid caste system, one in which privilege and the sense of entitlement and so much more have been determined by position in a stifling class hierarchy as formal and determining as any the world has ever known.
I see this at work every day- I suspect it comes from insecurity, paranoia and the fear of being left behind ..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just find them soooooooo annoying. I am white married to an Indian guy.

Don't the Indian women hate you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Indian woman here who has not experienced this in real life BUT I also have had a really hard time making friends with the white parents of my DD's friends. I don't know if perhaps an unarticulated anti-Indian sentiment is the reason or if there's just something wrong with me (never had trouble making friends before though).

They may be assuming things about you. I'm Indian and I know lots of Indians ONLY hang out with other Indians socially, on weekends etc -- esp first gen Indians. If you're trying to talk with your DD's friends' parents -- they may be assuming you're being nice but you wouldn't be interested in ever getting together because you have a dawat every weekend or you have your inlaws living with you or you only socialize with family or whatever.

Yes! My DS had a lot of Indian students in his class and I could not gain ground with the parents- perfectly cordial but tended to socialize with the other Indian parents. I completely understood, but was bummed. It's not always like this- I connected far better with the Indian parents in my neighborhood. I have honestly found all of the women to be smart, straightforward, and easy to be around. People are people- one of my son's friends is originally from India- she has an older sibling with special needs- I saw the parents at a function once with their older child--both father and mother were lovingly holding his hand, wiping his face, helping him eat. The image stuck with me as an exquisite example of parental tenderness and love.

Just imagine if you have to work with them

I know one Indian mom with a special needs child. She cannot talk to the other Indian moms. They are all In that get to tj any cost phase

Very sad

They may exclude themselves but they do not stick together except superficially

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Indian woman here who has not experienced this in real life BUT I also have had a really hard time making friends with the white parents of my DD's friends. I don't know if perhaps an unarticulated anti-Indian sentiment is the reason or if there's just something wrong with me (never had trouble making friends before though).

They may be assuming things about you. I'm Indian and I know lots of Indians ONLY hang out with other Indians socially, on weekends etc -- esp first gen Indians. If you're trying to talk with your DD's friends' parents -- they may be assuming you're being nice but you wouldn't be interested in ever getting together because you have a dawat every weekend or you have your inlaws living with you or you only socialize with family or whatever.

Yes! My DS had a lot of Indian students in his class and I could not gain ground with the parents- perfectly cordial but tended to socialize with the other Indian parents. I completely understood, but was bummed. It's not always like this- I connected far better with the Indian parents in my neighborhood. I have honestly found all of the women to be smart, straightforward, and easy to be around. People are people- one of my son's friends is originally from India- she has an older sibling with special needs- I saw the parents at a function once with their older child--both father and mother were lovingly holding his hand, wiping his face, helping him eat. The image stuck with me as an exquisite example of parental tenderness and love.

Just imagine if you have to work with them

I know one Indian mom with a special needs child. She cannot talk to the other Indian moms. They are all In that get to tj any cost phase

Very sad

They may exclude themselves but they do not stick together except superficially

TJ is free. It doesn't cost anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Indian woman here who has not experienced this in real life BUT I also have had a really hard time making friends with the white parents of my DD's friends. I don't know if perhaps an unarticulated anti-Indian sentiment is the reason or if there's just something wrong with me (never had trouble making friends before though).

They may be assuming things about you. I'm Indian and I know lots of Indians ONLY hang out with other Indians socially, on weekends etc -- esp first gen Indians. If you're trying to talk with your DD's friends' parents -- they may be assuming you're being nice but you wouldn't be interested in ever getting together because you have a dawat every weekend or you have your inlaws living with you or you only socialize with family or whatever.

Yes! My DS had a lot of Indian students in his class and I could not gain ground with the parents- perfectly cordial but tended to socialize with the other Indian parents. I completely understood, but was bummed. It's not always like this- I connected far better with the Indian parents in my neighborhood. I have honestly found all of the women to be smart, straightforward, and easy to be around. People are people- one of my son's friends is originally from India- she has an older sibling with special needs- I saw the parents at a function once with their older child--both father and mother were lovingly holding his hand, wiping his face, helping him eat. The image stuck with me as an exquisite example of parental tenderness and love.

Just imagine if you have to work with them

I know one Indian mom with a special needs child. She cannot talk to the other Indian moms. They are all In that get to tj any cost phase

Very sad

They may exclude themselves but they do not stick together except superficially

TJ is free. It doesn't cost anything.

Hmm. The tutoring starts before kindergarten then every Saturday. Then after school. Them special testing to get on aap and then weekends with special programs.

It costs a huge amount for Indians to get into TJ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with this 100%:
unabashed arrogance, their need to command center stage, to talk endlessly, to constantly interrupt, all from the beginning of an encounter to the end of an encounter. Indians rarely dialogue, they monologue. It is hard not to conclude that they see themselves as special, better, more knowledgeable about anything and everything than the person they find themselves with. I invariably come away from such conversations—if they can be called that—thinking of Indians as simply insufferable. I suspect it is very much bound up with India’s long rigid caste system, one in which privilege and the sense of entitlement and so much more have been determined by position in a stifling class hierarchy as formal and determining as any the world has ever known.
I see this at work every day- I suspect it comes from insecurity, paranoia and the fear of being left behind ..

There is none of that. Indians truly do believe they are superior. Even if they appear modest and humble, 99.9% of the time you'd better believe it's an act. For example, there is no concept of self-deprecating humor in the culture. Use it in a group of Indians and they'll just think you're a weak loser.

[Anonymous]

NP haven't read all of this thread, or beyond the first page. There are several (maybe even majority) Indian families in my neighborhood, and they vary between standoffish on the good end of the scale and downright rude on the bad end. My next door neighbors are Indians and total a-holes who refuse to mow their lawn or anything of the sort. The wife one time stood 10 feet away watching me struggle to take some large object out of my car while 8 months pregnant. I could go on and on. I hate them.

I don't hate all Indians and do have a few Indian friends. But the ones in my neighborhood have really soured me. And also why do you/they all have vanity plates with their names?! Someone please explain this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP haven't read all of this thread, or beyond the first page. There are several (maybe even majority) Indian families in my neighborhood, and they vary between standoffish on the good end of the scale and downright rude on the bad end. My next door neighbors are Indians and total a-holes who refuse to mow their lawn or anything of the sort. The wife one time stood 10 feet away watching me struggle to take some large object out of my car while 8 months pregnant. I could go on and on. I hate them.

I don't hate all Indians and do have a few Indian friends. But the ones in my neighborhood have really soured me. And also why do you/they all have vanity plates with their names?! Someone please explain this!

uh doh common sense says you shouldn't be lifting something that heavy when 8 months preg. The wife was probably watching because she thought you were an imbecile. Black women, White guys, have watched me struggle with heavy things and did not help even though i am tiny until I asked them to help me out instead of watch. The only ones who have helped have been middle aged hispanic guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have interacted with students of many different nationalities over the years, and it seems to me that Indian and some Pakistani boys are especially spoiled compared to other boys and Indian girls. They were very class conscious and extremely reluctant to engage in any activities that they consider below them. I do feel sorry for Indian women married to Indian men who end up having to work and the. also take care of both their own family and their extended families. It must be a very heavy burden to bear.

No, actually it is very nice to be married to Indian husbands. They are good providers, good fathers and loyal. I actually feel bad for women married to White men. They are always on the lookout to cheat on their wives, they are not good providers, they are selfish and they divorce their older wives and get new models. I think it is a very heavy burden to wear. I find white women always desperately trying to lose weight and go for plastic surgery to fix their bodies and looks, because their husbands find them frumpy and unattractive after they have babies. White men are emotionally cold and it must be a nightmare being married to them.

White men find it easy to walk away from their kids when they divorce. They also may or may not provide for the college education of their kids.

I would agree with you PP. nearly every Indian man I've met here fits these criteria, except for one douchebag who left his wife when she was pregnant, because he didn't feel the passion. Don't know enough about white men to comment, but reading these boards makes me think there's some truth there.

Ummm did y'all not see the zillions of Indian men on the Ashley Madison lists? Loudoun and Fairfax counties were damn near half Indian names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP haven't read all of this thread, or beyond the first page. There are several (maybe even majority) Indian families in my neighborhood, and they vary between standoffish on the good end of the scale and downright rude on the bad end. My next door neighbors are Indians and total a-holes who refuse to mow their lawn or anything of the sort. The wife one time stood 10 feet away watching me struggle to take some large object out of my car while 8 months pregnant. I could go on and on. I hate them.

I don't hate all Indians and do have a few Indian friends. But the ones in my neighborhood have really soured me. And also why do you/they all have vanity plates with their names?! Someone please explain this!

uh doh common sense says you shouldn't be lifting something that heavy when 8 months preg. The wife was probably watching because she thought you were an imbecile. Black women, White guys, have watched me struggle with heavy things and did not help even though i am tiny until I asked them to help me out instead of watch. The only ones who have helped have been middle aged hispanic guys.

I didn't say heavy, I said large...it was a giant pillow, nitwit. And she's my neighbor not some random guys standing around. KINDA different. I can't imagine watching my own neighbor struggle with anything without offering to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP haven't read all of this thread, or beyond the first page. There are several (maybe even majority) Indian families in my neighborhood, and they vary between standoffish on the good end of the scale and downright rude on the bad end. My next door neighbors are Indians and total a-holes who refuse to mow their lawn or anything of the sort. The wife one time stood 10 feet away watching me struggle to take some large object out of my car while 8 months pregnant. I could go on and on. I hate them.

I don't hate all Indians and do have a few Indian friends. But the ones in my neighborhood have really soured me. And also why do you/they all have vanity plates with their names?! Someone please explain this!

uh doh common sense says you shouldn't be lifting something that heavy when 8 months preg. The wife was probably watching because she thought you were an imbecile. Black women, White guys, have watched me struggle with heavy things and did not help even though i am tiny until I asked them to help me out instead of watch. The only ones who have helped have been middle aged hispanic guys.

I didn't say heavy, I said large...it was a giant pillow, nitwit. And she's my neighbor not some random guys standing around. KINDA different. I can't imagine watching my own neighbor struggle with anything without offering to help.

Perhaps if the pillow had the letters TJ on it, you would have received help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all those posters whose Indian parents came over in the 60s and are lamenting the loss of the "real" Indian values in Indian kids today...I've got news for you. Those 2000s kids are the real Indians. Your parents are frozen in time and nobody in India is like that anymore. I say this as someone who came to the US for undergrad in 2001. I still have all my family in India, visit every year unlike very old Indian immigrants who don't have much to do with the country anymore.

Agree with you 100%. The kids who grew up here did retain those values. As a person who immigrated in the late 90s, i can see the culture erosion everytime I visit India and in the recent immigrants. There is no camaraderie any more just a craze for money & status.

+1.

+1000. I think this is happening in India but also China, Korea etc. These were places with rich tradition and history and culture that used to pass from generation to generation; now it's becoming more and more like the U.S. -- more and more stuff from iphones to Gucci this and Prada that. That's what's more important.

So you are saying that US has no history or culture? 'Gucci this and Prada that' will sound very unfamiliar to most Americans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just find them soooooooo annoying. I am white married to an Indian guy.

You've posted similar statements before. Every, single time I feel so sorry for your half Indian children who will face the same discrimination and prejudices from society and their own mother.

Umm I've never posted on here about this Why can't I have an opinion? I've been to India 5 times. I stayed for a month each time, spending time in Mumbai, Goa, Delhi, and several other places on my way to the lower reaches of the Himalayas. For all I know my kids will turn out damaged and horribly behaving adults. You never know.

The trait I have seen SO often— unabashed arrogance, their need to command center stage, to talk endlessly, to constantly interrupt, all from the beginning of an encounter to the end of an encounter. Indians rarely dialogue, they monologue. It is hard not to conclude that they see themselves as special, better, more knowledgeable about anything and everything than the person they find themselves with. I invariably come away from such conversations—if they can be called that—thinking of Indians as simply insufferable. And yet while I don’t why they are this way, I suspect it is very much bound up with India’s long rigid caste system, one in which privilege and the sense of entitlement and so much more have been determined by position in a stifling class hierarchy as formal and determining as any the world has ever known.

Can all Indians be characterized as I have drawn attention to them here? Certainly not. But, then, it is not without reason that Indians and Koreans and Americans and Jews and Arabs and Russians are often stereotyped. They are stereotyped because more often than not through experience we come to expect them to act in particular ways, and more often than not we are not disappointed.

Funny, Im Indian married to a jew. I was going to call you out for being an asshole for yr first message, but I kind of get what you're saying here. Yes, talking a lot and arrogance do seem to be common among my relatives, but they are also funny, smart, witty, well read, etc. in many ways similar to many American Jews that way. Think Mindy Kaling. I think the Western notion of Indian people being self effacing, spiritual, non materialistic, conformist, earnest computer programmers is further off base.