Today is the day that I hate my husband

[Anonymous]

BTW, I'm not suggesting that SAH moms shouldn't be able to leave or get alimony. I'm just saying the way the system is currently set up, DHs need to be VERY careful about how much of their life they want to sacrifice at the office. Do not assume that you SAH will appreciate it. Many don't.

In my opinion, a lot of young men would be better off with a steady job that pays the bills, but a decent work life balance, and a wife with a similar situation and splitting various household/child reading duties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also marriage is NOT for life. Nobody has to be tied to destructive and unhealthy dogma for the sake of what exactly?

That's all you need to know, fellas. Marriage is little more than transfer of wealth.

Transfer of whose wealth? I've been married 17years...and happily I might add. I make just shy of 200k as does my DH. If we were to get divorced, we would both be worse off financially, except of course our tax rate would lower.

So, come again?

+1

Most marriages are financial partnerships, with the wife bringing as much to the relationship as the husband.

70% of women with children are in the labor market. 60% of married women with children work. This fantasy that all women marry men and quit working is just that -- a fantasy.

It's not a fantasy in DC, or in any family where one spouse makes six figures+.

Also 60 percent is honestly lower than I expected.

The circles of women who I run with all make six figures+. Every.single.one.of.them. I live in a neighborhood with all 7 figure homes and the only women around during the day are the nannies because both parents are working. Nobody is working out of necessity, it is pure ambition.

I have 3 best friends, all 3 own their own businesses. One owns a strategic marketing company, one a defense contracting company, and one owns a very successful dental practice. All of them probably collectively employ over 500 people. They are all under 45 and have small children and have equally successful husbands.

I probably just could not relate to women who SAH, so I guess I don't see them. The only SAHMs I actually know are in my DHs family and they never did have earning potential, so why work?

Women are able to easily divorce men because, just like the OP, they don't HAVE to be married out of financial necessity. Nobody is taking anyone to the cleaners. Just like my friends, if I had a divorce, it would be a split and we'd both walk and, frankly, both be quite fine. If you have a career, you get to be married at your leisure. You don't have to wear the golden handcuffs. This is exactly why women who live in societies where they are subjugated do not divorce. They can't.

You can't relate to SAHMs? Why? There are so many around here who are highly educated and had fantastic, high paying jobs prior to staying home. I used to make $300,000. Do you think I somehow am different since I have not worked for a year? Very odd perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also marriage is NOT for life. Nobody has to be tied to destructive and unhealthy dogma for the sake of what exactly?

That's all you need to know, fellas. Marriage is little more than transfer of wealth.

Transfer of whose wealth? I've been married 17years...and happily I might add. I make just shy of 200k as does my DH. If we were to get divorced, we would both be worse off financially, except of course our tax rate would lower.

So, come again?

+1

Most marriages are financial partnerships, with the wife bringing as much to the relationship as the husband.

70% of women with children are in the labor market. 60% of married women with children work. This fantasy that all women marry men and quit working is just that -- a fantasy.

It's not a fantasy in DC, or in any family where one spouse makes six figures+.

Also 60 percent is honestly lower than I expected.

The circles of women who I run with all make six figures+. Every.single.one.of.them. I live in a neighborhood with all 7 figure homes and the only women around during the day are the nannies because both parents are working. Nobody is working out of necessity, it is pure ambition.

I have 3 best friends, all 3 own their own businesses. One owns a strategic marketing company, one a defense contracting company, and one owns a very successful dental practice. All of them probably collectively employ over 500 people. They are all under 45 and have small children and have equally successful husbands.

I probably just could not relate to women who SAH, so I guess I don't see them. The only SAHMs I actually know are in my DHs family and they never did have earning potential, so why work?

Women are able to easily divorce men because, just like the OP, they don't HAVE to be married out of financial necessity. Nobody is taking anyone to the cleaners. Just like my friends, if I had a divorce, it would be a split and we'd both walk and, frankly, both be quite fine. If you have a career, you get to be married at your leisure. You don't have to wear the golden handcuffs. This is exactly why women who live in societies where they are subjugated do not divorce. They can't.

You can't relate to SAHMs? Why? There are so many around here who are highly educated and had fantastic, high paying jobs prior to staying home. I used to make $300,000. Do you think I somehow am different since I have not worked for a year? Very odd perspective.

I think she is referring to long-term SAH. Someone who takes a couple of years off from their six figure job is in a different situation than someone who is a SAHM for decades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also marriage is NOT for life. Nobody has to be tied to destructive and unhealthy dogma for the sake of what exactly?

That's all you need to know, fellas. Marriage is little more than transfer of wealth.

Transfer of whose wealth? I've been married 17years...and happily I might add. I make just shy of 200k as does my DH. If we were to get divorced, we would both be worse off financially, except of course our tax rate would lower.

So, come again?

+1

Most marriages are financial partnerships, with the wife bringing as much to the relationship as the husband.

70% of women with children are in the labor market. 60% of married women with children work. This fantasy that all women marry men and quit working is just that -- a fantasy.

It's not a fantasy in DC, or in any family where one spouse makes six figures+.

Also 60 percent is honestly lower than I expected.

The circles of women who I run with all make six figures+. Every.single.one.of.them. I live in a neighborhood with all 7 figure homes and the only women around during the day are the nannies because both parents are working. Nobody is working out of necessity, it is pure ambition.

I have 3 best friends, all 3 own their own businesses. One owns a strategic marketing company, one a defense contracting company, and one owns a very successful dental practice. All of them probably collectively employ over 500 people. They are all under 45 and have small children and have equally successful husbands.

I probably just could not relate to women who SAH, so I guess I don't see them. The only SAHMs I actually know are in my DHs family and they never did have earning potential, so why work?

Women are able to easily divorce men because, just like the OP, they don't HAVE to be married out of financial necessity. Nobody is taking anyone to the cleaners. Just like my friends, if I had a divorce, it would be a split and we'd both walk and, frankly, both be quite fine. If you have a career, you get to be married at your leisure. You don't have to wear the golden handcuffs. This is exactly why women who live in societies where they are subjugated do not divorce. They can't.

That's terrific (no sarcasm).

But there are some SAH moms who don't work that hard and then bail with a wheelbarrow full of alimony once their marriage begins to struggle because they know that their have a golden parachute.

I have no problem if you are at parity with your husband, career-wise, and you don't take alimony from him. But in a SAH mom/long hours dad combination, I feel that SAH moms have a loaded gun to their husbands head at all times.

But that's just me. If you are in a SAH mom relationship, and it works, terrific.

Well then if you are a man and you are scared of being taken to the cleaners, then don't marry a woman whose ambition is to SAH. When a woman gives up her career to take care of the family, then there is a price to pay if it does not work out. If she is "supporting her man" and her "job" is the home, then of course you will owe her half when it falls apart. Sorry, you don't get your cake and eat it too. That's not how life works.

MOST SAHMs in America are living in low income families, they have no education or career opportunities, so they have babies. a very very small subset of SAHMs are in a position to make out well after divorce. I know this, I lived through a SAHM divorce. WE lived with food insecurity...do you have any idea what that is like? This is why I'm so driven and would never be a SAHM.Ever.

Some facts for you:

29% of women are SAHMs (6% of those are only so, due to unemployment)
49% of those have a HS diploma or less (25% have college education)
34% live in poverty

Statistics show that SAHMs are often financially devastated by a divorce and are much more likely to end up in poverty.

the moral of the story:

STOP WATCHING THE REAL HOUSEVIEVES OF BEVERYLY HILLS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also marriage is NOT for life. Nobody has to be tied to destructive and unhealthy dogma for the sake of what exactly?

That's all you need to know, fellas. Marriage is little more than transfer of wealth.

Transfer of whose wealth? I've been married 17years...and happily I might add. I make just shy of 200k as does my DH. If we were to get divorced, we would both be worse off financially, except of course our tax rate would lower.

So, come again?

+1

Most marriages are financial partnerships, with the wife bringing as much to the relationship as the husband.

70% of women with children are in the labor market. 60% of married women with children work. This fantasy that all women marry men and quit working is just that -- a fantasy.

It's not a fantasy in DC, or in any family where one spouse makes six figures+.

Also 60 percent is honestly lower than I expected.

The circles of women who I run with all make six figures+. Every.single.one.of.them. I live in a neighborhood with all 7 figure homes and the only women around during the day are the nannies because both parents are working. Nobody is working out of necessity, it is pure ambition.

I have 3 best friends, all 3 own their own businesses. One owns a strategic marketing company, one a defense contracting company, and one owns a very successful dental practice. All of them probably collectively employ over 500 people. They are all under 45 and have small children and have equally successful husbands.

I probably just could not relate to women who SAH, so I guess I don't see them. The only SAHMs I actually know are in my DHs family and they never did have earning potential, so why work?

Women are able to easily divorce men because, just like the OP, they don't HAVE to be married out of financial necessity. Nobody is taking anyone to the cleaners. Just like my friends, if I had a divorce, it would be a split and we'd both walk and, frankly, both be quite fine. If you have a career, you get to be married at your leisure. You don't have to wear the golden handcuffs. This is exactly why women who live in societies where they are subjugated do not divorce. They can't.

Do any of the women in your acquaintance have children with special needs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also marriage is NOT for life. Nobody has to be tied to destructive and unhealthy dogma for the sake of what exactly?

That's all you need to know, fellas. Marriage is little more than transfer of wealth.

Transfer of whose wealth? I've been married 17years...and happily I might add. I make just shy of 200k as does my DH. If we were to get divorced, we would both be worse off financially, except of course our tax rate would lower.

So, come again?

+1

Most marriages are financial partnerships, with the wife bringing as much to the relationship as the husband.

70% of women with children are in the labor market. 60% of married women with children work. This fantasy that all women marry men and quit working is just that -- a fantasy.

It's not a fantasy in DC, or in any family where one spouse makes six figures+.

Also 60 percent is honestly lower than I expected.

The circles of women who I run with all make six figures+. Every.single.one.of.them. I live in a neighborhood with all 7 figure homes and the only women around during the day are the nannies because both parents are working. Nobody is working out of necessity, it is pure ambition.

I have 3 best friends, all 3 own their own businesses. One owns a strategic marketing company, one a defense contracting company, and one owns a very successful dental practice. All of them probably collectively employ over 500 people. They are all under 45 and have small children and have equally successful husbands.

I probably just could not relate to women who SAH, so I guess I don't see them. The only SAHMs I actually know are in my DHs family and they never did have earning potential, so why work?

Women are able to easily divorce men because, just like the OP, they don't HAVE to be married out of financial necessity. Nobody is taking anyone to the cleaners. Just like my friends, if I had a divorce, it would be a split and we'd both walk and, frankly, both be quite fine. If you have a career, you get to be married at your leisure. You don't have to wear the golden handcuffs. This is exactly why women who live in societies where they are subjugated do not divorce. They can't.

Do any of the women in your acquaintance have children with special needs?

I'm sure even the SAHM mom skeptics respect that a special-needs child changes everything.

[Anonymous]

Wow is this thread off the rails. And working moms, ponder why every relationship thread becomes a rant against SOHM by moms who work. Weird.

[Anonymous]

Poster you were questioning...yes as a matter of fact one of my friends has a severely autistic non-verbal boy who is 7 and might never be potty trained. He has a therapist work wirh him in the home 5 hours a day. Her income provides her son the very best thearapy money can buy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also marriage is NOT for life. Nobody has to be tied to destructive and unhealthy dogma for the sake of what exactly?

That's all you need to know, fellas. Marriage is little more than transfer of wealth.

Transfer of whose wealth? I've been married 17years...and happily I might add. I make just shy of 200k as does my DH. If we were to get divorced, we would both be worse off financially, except of course our tax rate would lower.

So, come again?

+1

Most marriages are financial partnerships, with the wife bringing as much to the relationship as the husband.

70% of women with children are in the labor market. 60% of married women with children work. This fantasy that all women marry men and quit working is just that -- a fantasy.

It's not a fantasy in DC, or in any family where one spouse makes six figures+.

Also 60 percent is honestly lower than I expected.

The circles of women who I run with all make six figures+. Every.single.one.of.them. I live in a neighborhood with all 7 figure homes and the only women around during the day are the nannies because both parents are working. Nobody is working out of necessity, it is pure ambition.

I have 3 best friends, all 3 own their own businesses. One owns a strategic marketing company, one a defense contracting company, and one owns a very successful dental practice. All of them probably collectively employ over 500 people. They are all under 45 and have small children and have equally successful husbands.

I probably just could not relate to women who SAH, so I guess I don't see them. The only SAHMs I actually know are in my DHs family and they never did have earning potential, so why work?

Women are able to easily divorce men because, just like the OP, they don't HAVE to be married out of financial necessity. Nobody is taking anyone to the cleaners. Just like my friends, if I had a divorce, it would be a split and we'd both walk and, frankly, both be quite fine. If you have a career, you get to be married at your leisure. You don't have to wear the golden handcuffs. This is exactly why women who live in societies where they are subjugated do not divorce. They can't.

You can't relate to SAHMs? Why? There are so many around here who are highly educated and had fantastic, high paying jobs prior to staying home. I used to make $300,000. Do you think I somehow am different since I have not worked for a year? Very odd perspective.

I don't mean to upset you, that was not my intention. I don't really care how much you made. I don't sit around with my friends and compare W2s...this is not what we relate about.


I SAH for a year after my first and had a great time meeting other mothers of babies and talking about babies and the challenges of being a first time mom. I still stay in touch with some of those women. However, a SAHM has absolutely no idea what it is like juggling motherhood demands and career demands. Our lives were quite converged when our children were little, but now that they are older, we are just in totally different directions. Our lives are just so incredibly different now and as the years have gone by the gap has gotten wider and wider.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also marriage is NOT for life. Nobody has to be tied to destructive and unhealthy dogma for the sake of what exactly?

That's all you need to know, fellas. Marriage is little more than transfer of wealth.

Transfer of whose wealth? I've been married 17years...and happily I might add. I make just shy of 200k as does my DH. If we were to get divorced, we would both be worse off financially, except of course our tax rate would lower.

So, come again?

+1

Most marriages are financial partnerships, with the wife bringing as much to the relationship as the husband.

70% of women with children are in the labor market. 60% of married women with children work. This fantasy that all women marry men and quit working is just that -- a fantasy.

It's not a fantasy in DC, or in any family where one spouse makes six figures+.

Also 60 percent is honestly lower than I expected.

The circles of women who I run with all make six figures+. Every.single.one.of.them. I live in a neighborhood with all 7 figure homes and the only women around during the day are the nannies because both parents are working. Nobody is working out of necessity, it is pure ambition.

I have 3 best friends, all 3 own their own businesses. One owns a strategic marketing company, one a defense contracting company, and one owns a very successful dental practice. All of them probably collectively employ over 500 people. They are all under 45 and have small children and have equally successful husbands.

I probably just could not relate to women who SAH, so I guess I don't see them. The only SAHMs I actually know are in my DHs family and they never did have earning potential, so why work?

Women are able to easily divorce men because, just like the OP, they don't HAVE to be married out of financial necessity. Nobody is taking anyone to the cleaners. Just like my friends, if I had a divorce, it would be a split and we'd both walk and, frankly, both be quite fine. If you have a career, you get to be married at your leisure. You don't have to wear the golden handcuffs. This is exactly why women who live in societies where they are subjugated do not divorce. They can't.

You can't relate to SAHMs? Why? There are so many around here who are highly educated and had fantastic, high paying jobs prior to staying home. I used to make $300,000. Do you think I somehow am different since I have not worked for a year? Very odd perspective.

I don't mean to upset you, that was not my intention. I don't really care how much you made. I don't sit around with my friends and compare W2s...this is not what we relate about.


I SAH for a year after my first and had a great time meeting other mothers of babies and talking about babies and the challenges of being a first time mom. I still stay in touch with some of those women. However, a SAHM has absolutely no idea what it is like juggling motherhood demands and career demands. Our lives were quite converged when our children were little, but now that they are older, we are just in totally different directions. Our lives are just so incredibly different now and as the years have gone by the gap has gotten wider and wider.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

In all fairness, I also have no idea what is it is like to be with toddlers 24x7 and how stressful that can be and as my kids are now older, I have ZERO idea what it is like to have a 7hour stretch in the middle of each day with no children and no deadlines to meet or clients to visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just said a silent prayer thanking my lucky stars that I am married to a woman like my wife.

Not in a million years would she even consider ending our marriage for the reasons you cited. But then, there is no way that I would consider ending my marriage for those reasons.

The difference, OP, is that when we married it was for keeps. There are ups and downs in our relationship but in the ultimate analysis we are committed to each other.

That was a really nice post. I mean it. Good for you (not being sarcastic) !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Poster you were questioning...yes as a matter of fact one of my friends has a severely autistic non-verbal boy who is 7 and might never be potty trained. He has a therapist work wirh him in the home 5 hours a day. Her income provides her son the very best thearapy money can buy.

He would like likely be better off with a parent less concerned about her career and more concerned about being there for her son.