Today is the day that I hate my husband

[Anonymous]

Regardless of what you decide, thank goodness you are in a position to support yourself independent of him. Too many women stay because they can't afford to go. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a good father, he is strong, he is smart and he is loyal. However, he is incapable of being vulnerable. He is unkind. He is socially inept which means that we have a very hard time developing "couple friends". I feel like I am just done. I don't need this shit. I don't need someone who is unsupportive of me. I do not need someone who makes me feel as though anything I genuinely like is stupid. I am attractive, under 40, I am a lawyer (so I do not need to him to survive financially). I just don't need this shit. Honestly. I can do better - and I don't even think I want anyone right now. I dream of being free of him. We have a daughter and I would hate to break up her home, but I feel like I am just done. She will adjust. Perhaps I feel differently tomorrow, but as of this evening, fuck this shit.

Just another example of someone marrying to check the box. You make me sick.

what does "marrying to check the box" mean? Is that marrying just say I was married? I don't think that's the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. Maybe I am being selfish. I am okay with that. I think personal happiness and satisfaction are things we are entitled to be selfish about. No one marries a perfect person (my husband included). But, there is a time when you believe you can deal with other person's faults (and they with yours) and still have the happy times outweigh the non-happy times. But, things can change. I knew that going in. So did he, I am sure. Today the scales are tipped in favor of ending it. Who knows what tomorrow holds?

Who cares if he's incapable of being vulnerable?

me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a good father, he is strong, he is smart and he is loyal. However, he is incapable of being vulnerable. He is unkind. He is socially inept which means that we have a very hard time developing "couple friends". I feel like I am just done. I don't need this shit. I don't need someone who is unsupportive of me. I do not need someone who makes me feel as though anything I genuinely like is stupid. I am attractive, under 40, I am a lawyer (so I do not need to him to survive financially). I just don't need this shit. Honestly. I can do better - and I don't even think I want anyone right now. I dream of being free of him. We have a daughter and I would hate to break up her home, but I feel like I am just done. She will adjust. Perhaps I feel differently tomorrow, but as of this evening, fuck this shit.

Just another example of someone marrying to check the box. You make me sick.

Absolutely! She is now bored and wants out for some entirely superfluous reasons.

[Anonymous]

How is he unkind?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

what does "marrying to check the box" mean? Is that marrying just say I was married? I don't think that's the case.

You married to conform to societal norms. Look at all the horrible things you just said about your husband and the father of your children. You're willing to destroy your family over petty bullshit. Why, exactly, did you marry him then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here. Maybe I am being selfish. I am okay with that. I think personal happiness and satisfaction are things we are entitled to be selfish about. No one marries a perfect person (my husband included). But, there is a time when you believe you can deal with other person's faults (and they with yours) and still have the happy times outweigh the non-happy times. But, things can change. I knew that going in. So did he, I am sure. Today the scales are tipped in favor of ending it. Who knows what tomorrow holds?

Who cares if he's incapable of being vulnerable?

me?

1) What does that even mean? Are you a 20 something dating?

2) What do you accomplish from it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+1 feeling the same about my husband today too.

+2

OP, don't bother with the haters on here trying to minimize your feelings.

[Anonymous]

If some guy had posted that he was wanting to end his marriage for the reasons cited by OP, he would have been tarred and feathered on DCUM. But because it is a woman who says it, she actually gets a pass and rationalizations of why she is doing the right thing for herself.

[Anonymous]

Actually, OP is typical of the shallowness one finds on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1 feeling the same about my husband today too.

+2

OP, don't bother with the haters on here trying to minimize your feelings.

Please. Just look at all the husbands bitching about wives threads and the claws are fully extended in those threads. This ungrateful woman deserves the flak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a good father, he is strong, he is smart and he is loyal. However, he is incapable of being vulnerable. He is unkind. He is socially inept which means that we have a very hard time developing "couple friends". I feel like I am just done. I don't need this shit. I don't need someone who is unsupportive of me. I do not need someone who makes me feel as though anything I genuinely like is stupid. I am attractive, under 40, I am a lawyer (so I do not need to him to survive financially). I just don't need this shit. Honestly. I can do better - and I don't even think I want anyone right now. I dream of being free of him. We have a daughter and I would hate to break up her home, but I feel like I am just done. She will adjust. Perhaps I feel differently tomorrow, but as of this evening, fuck this shit.

Just another example of someone marrying to check the box. You make me sick.

Absolutely! She is now bored and wants out for some entirely superfluous reasons.

That's a crock. Why can't you people very admit that there is a chant that you think you know somebody but when you marry them they change or grow in a direction that doesn't work for your relationship. It is possible that you marry somebody who you love and think is right for you but things change. Therapy doesn't help. Communicating doesn't help. Maybe ending the relationship works for both sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

what does "marrying to check the box" mean? Is that marrying just say I was married? I don't think that's the case.

You married to conform to societal norms. Look at all the horrible things you just said about your husband and the father of your children. You're willing to destroy your family over petty bullshit. Why, exactly, did you marry him then?

I married him because I love him. He is honest. He is loyal. He doesn't sit on his ass on a Saturday while I bust my ass cleaning the house. At that time, he also adored me (and me him). I knew that his faults included social anxiety, a lack of spontaneity (i.e., I am the one who plans every vacation - he could sit on his ass in our hometown and not care a bit), and this overall hard exterior. Over time, the hard exterior has gotten harder - unbearably so. Shit happens, right?

[Anonymous]

What's shallow about not wanting to be married to an unkind person? I can't imagine why anyone would stay with someone who treats them unkindly if they had a choice.

OP, there are plenty of people who think that a woman's wrong to leave her husband unless he's beating her. Don't listen to them. This is the only life you have.

See if he'll go to counseling to save the marriage. If not, do what you need to do to make your life peaceful and happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a good father, he is strong, he is smart and he is loyal. However, he is incapable of being vulnerable. He is unkind. He is socially inept which means that we have a very hard time developing "couple friends". I feel like I am just done. I don't need this shit. I don't need someone who is unsupportive of me. I do not need someone who makes me feel as though anything I genuinely like is stupid. I am attractive, under 40, I am a lawyer (so I do not need to him to survive financially). I just don't need this shit. Honestly. I can do better - and I don't even think I want anyone right now. I dream of being free of him. We have a daughter and I would hate to break up her home, but I feel like I am just done. She will adjust. Perhaps I feel differently tomorrow, but as of this evening, fuck this shit.

Just another example of someone marrying to check the box. You make me sick.

Absolutely! She is now bored and wants out for some entirely superfluous reasons.

That's a crock. Why can't you people very admit that there is a chant that you think you know somebody but when you marry them they change or grow in a direction that doesn't work for your relationship. It is possible that you marry somebody who you love and think is right for you but things change. Therapy doesn't help. Communicating doesn't help. Maybe ending the relationship works for both sides.

+1