I haven't figured out how people raise children in DC

[Anonymous]

OP, there are some here who have not resided in a nicer place. 'Tis a shame, indeed. You can tell who has immediately. You seem like you have known nicer, so you have a point of comparison. Life is short. Explore your options! Those that do not, or are "Rah rah D.C." why are you even on this post? To be a typical, antagonistic, counter productive, bullyish, D.C. type? Really? How's that serving you so far? By the looks on your faces, not so good.

That said, I know what you mention, OP. I have found in my too many years here that those who try to act important, and are stumbling over themselves being snifflier than thou, are really just extemely pissed off about how little they have accomplished and how far they have not come in their time here. Consistently. Remember that. Laugh at it. It is funny.

As far as the PP who mentioned "shallow" and "weather" in the same sentence: I want to know where you score your crack, because I could use some of that while living here with the likes of you.

I was at a party recently and I heard someone's MIL mention that people are "friendly" here. The whole party responded in riotous laughter - literally! That is part of the issue, OP. As far as comparing this area to any other, you simply can not. If not only for the high concentration of those who think that D.C. is the be all and end all. Do you really want to know where they are coming from? Probably not. Holy sh*t! Let them think the rest of the nation and world sucks and that this must be heaven on earth (egads!). Then we won't have to deal with them when we vacation or retire

Know that you are still young and that most people do not and would never retire here, given an option. But that is another thread You have options, OP. Option one: laugh. Laugh often. There is so much around you that is amusing. Example: If you comment how rude someone is, they will counter you with how rude you must be, given that you did well, nothing. You can't buy this stuff!

This hell is not forever. It is overpriced, crowded, self important (read:amusing), stifling hot, incapable, blundering, extremely frustrated, tries to deflect and deny, can't drive and not so pretty, among many other things, but one thing it is not is forever.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if the "must live 20016" poster is deciding which DCPS middle/high combo he/she wants to attend. Come on, suburb bashers, which combo other than Deal/Wilson will YOU send your kids? If the answer is, "I'll just go private," then you lack any understanding of what the sub-300k set faces. (That, and complaining about gangs in Fairfax/Montgomery whilst ignoring problems with DCPS is just rich.)

12:10 raises a good point. I think we can try and split up the various areas in DC into a variety of "clusters."

My theory on DC and its suburbs:
1. Wealthy SFH nabes that are still fairly urban: upper NW, McLean, parts of Bethesda, North Arlington
2. Wealthy SFH nabes that are pretty rural: Great Falls, Potomac, Poolesville
3. Dense urban wealthy: Dupont, Georgetown, Old Town Alexandria, innermost Bethesda, Orange/Blue Line Arlington
4. Dense urban poor: SE DC, inner Prince George's, West End Alexandria, South Arlington, inner Silver Spring
5. Urban crunchy: Takoma (Park), Del Ray, College Park
6. Rural crunchy: Glen Echo, Middleburg
7. OK-but-generic suburbs: Centreville, Chantilly, upper Silver Spring, Burke, Springfield
8. OK-but-generic suburbs surrounding some historic core: Vienna, Herndon, Fairfax, Rockville, Gaithersburg
9. Wealthy exurbs: western PWC, Lake Ridge, western Howard, Loudoun (ex-Sterling)
10. Not wealthy exurbs: the rest of Eastern PWC, Sterling, outer Prince George's
11. Separate cities which got swallowed by exurbs: Winchester, Front Royal, Warrenton, Leesburg, Fredericksburg, Frederick, Annapolis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are some here who have not resided in a nicer place. 'Tis a shame, indeed. You can tell who has immediately. You seem like you have known nicer, so you have a point of comparison.

I posted about San Francisco, as I lived there and all over the Bay Area for 12 years. I'm very fond of the Bay Area, but I'm happy here. It is possible to move here from another nice place and enjoy living here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a huge difference between DC and these so called "close in suburbs". There is no comparison. Affording a house on Lowell lane or even somewhere like AU Park requires a much higher level of income than the burbs. And yes higher income generally means best and brightest.

Long-time Kent resident here -- living just a block away from Lowell for years. Please, folks, do not be fooled by the well-rehearsed facades so common to the neighborhood. Plenty of people have trust-funds or other inherited family wealth and are definitely not the "best and the brightest." The luckiest, maybe, but not the brightest. Many of these people lay it all on so thick simply to make everyone else believe they really are the best, etc., but this facade is a mile wide and an inch deep. It doesn't take long to figure out that these people are not smarter, more clever, more hard-working, etc. than the average person -- they just hit the lottery.

Truth is, that to afford the lifestyle (expensive house, private school, nanny, housekeeper, Chevy Chase Club, etc.), one truly needs a trust fund. Likely, someone earning their own money would have the good sense to realize they are surrounded by some of the best public schools in the country -- and that they ought to take advantage of them! Honestly, all of this keeping up with the Joneses must be exhausting -- especially when the Joneses so often have the invisible hand of family money keeping them afloat!

So what you are saying is we should move to Fairfax and send our kids to 3000 people schools because they are "good"? And I put good in quotations because we know about the gang problems, the busing, the high student to teacher ratio etc etc. And if most of us hit a genetic lottery that would posit that we inherited most of our family's smart genes to keep this wealth going. Of course a lot of people in wealthy areas have trust funds that's why the areas are wealthy. Just because your family worked hard enough to create multigenerational wealth doesn't diminish your accomplishments.

No, not saying Fairfax. Perhaps the other side of Western Ave. (which separates DC from MoCo). You could live in a Bethesda neighborhood which is just steps from the DC boarder and send your kids to those schools.

Also, have you met many 2nd and 3rd generation wealthy? Your theory of "smart genes" notwithstanding, usually, not the brightest bulbs.

Again why would I want to do that? Higher taxes, PUBLIC schools which have huge classes and tons of other problems. Sending my tax dollars to Baltimore that never come back, at least in DC my tax dollars stay in the same city I live in. MD has just as much corruption and government waste. Plus you lose some social currency if your zip code doesn't end in 20016.

Well then, you aren't like the OP who is struggling to come up with alternatives. That's fine. But, really, do you think anyone is conferring "social currency" upon you b/c you live in 20016. Have lived in that zip for a long time I know that to be bogus. Newsflash: no one cares what your zip is. Look, there are socially connected, powerful, wealthy people in many more zips than 20016 (and 20016 has many folks just struggling to make it work in a tiny house with no wealth, power or perceived social status). However, if you are interested in such things, you are an example of the "keeping up with the Joneses" that the OP and many others have rightfully mocked on this thread.

"Mocked"? Let's call it what it really is "jealousy". OP and the others are jealous that they can't afford to live the upper NW DC lifestyle and this thread Is a free therapy session to vent and hate on the "cool rich kids". Is it wrong to have a trust fund or to work hard and create wealth? Should we give it all away? Would that make y'all all happy if we all lived 20 miles from city center because we were all equal? Give me a break and stop complaining. This is your life so accept it or change it.

[Anonymous]

I don't know how either.

Baby is 4 months and we live in Kalorama/Adams Morgan, which is great for babies -- good park across the street, daytime baby-friendly restaurants, etc. But end of summer, we're getting the hell out and headed back to the west coast. Ultimately, ten years of DC is too much and I don't want my kid actually growing up in this city; work is good, $ is good, but quality of life here is not for us anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If yo don't like living here, then you should leave. We live in DC, are happy with our public school, have had awesome childcare, have commutes of less than 30 minutes, and have a decent-sized house. We are not rich but make a comfortable living. We have lots of friends who have the same philosphy we do regarding parenting (definitely NOT helicopters).

It's just been a matter of finding what it takes to make us happy, and if you can't do that here, then go somewhere else. I'm tired of people acting like DC is so horrible and other cities are magically wonderful. I love living here and I'm not rich, a snob, or an elitist.

Amen!

Exactly.

Just like anything else it is what you make of it. I actually miss living in the city...

[Anonymous]

13:03, can we eat cake while we're accepting it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are some here who have not resided in a nicer place. 'Tis a shame, indeed. You can tell who has immediately. You seem like you have known nicer, so you have a point of comparison. Life is short. Explore your options! Those that do not, or are "Rah rah D.C." why are you even on this post? To be a typical, antagonistic, counter productive, bullyish, D.C. type? Really? How's that serving you so far? By the looks on your faces, not so good.

That said, I know what you mention, OP. I have found in my too many years here that those who try to act important, and are stumbling over themselves being snifflier than thou, are really just extemely pissed off about how little they have accomplished and how far they have not come in their time here. Consistently. Remember that. Laugh at it. It is funny.

As far as the PP who mentioned "shallow" and "weather" in the same sentence: I want to know where you score your crack, because I could use some of that while living here with the likes of you.

I was at a party recently and I heard someone's MIL mention that people are "friendly" here. The whole party responded in riotous laughter - literally! That is part of the issue, OP. As far as comparing this area to any other, you simply can not. If not only for the high concentration of those who think that D.C. is the be all and end all. Do you really want to know where they are coming from? Probably not. Holy sh*t! Let them think the rest of the nation and world sucks and that this must be heaven on earth (egads!). Then we won't have to deal with them when we vacation or retire

Know that you are still young and that most people do not and would never retire here, given an option. But that is another thread You have options, OP. Option one: laugh. Laugh often. There is so much around you that is amusing. Example: If you comment how rude someone is, they will counter you with how rude you must be, given that you did well, nothing. You can't buy this stuff!

This hell is not forever. It is overpriced, crowded, self important (read:amusing), stifling hot, incapable, blundering, extremely frustrated, tries to deflect and deny, can't drive and not so pretty, among many other things, but one thing it is not is forever.

Glad to know that I must be delusional because I find people nice here (and yes I have lived in other states). I am a genuine nice person. I smile, say hi and treat random strangers with kindness and you know what? People are friendly right back. I live in an apt complex and know the majority of my neighbors. Crazy enough we get together once a week to play trivia and recently started getting together to hang out by the pool. Granted I am crazy talkative but honestly I think you can find nice people everywhere...you might just have to make the first move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are some here who have not resided in a nicer place. 'Tis a shame, indeed. You can tell who has immediately. You seem like you have known nicer, so you have a point of comparison. Life is short. Explore your options! Those that do not, or are "Rah rah D.C." why are you even on this post? To be a typical, antagonistic, counter productive, bullyish, D.C. type? Really? How's that serving you so far? By the looks on your faces, not so good.

That said, I know what you mention, OP. I have found in my too many years here that those who try to act important, and are stumbling over themselves being snifflier than thou, are really just extemely pissed off about how little they have accomplished and how far they have not come in their time here. Consistently. Remember that. Laugh at it. It is funny.

As far as the PP who mentioned "shallow" and "weather" in the same sentence: I want to know where you score your crack, because I could use some of that while living here with the likes of you.

I was at a party recently and I heard someone's MIL mention that people are "friendly" here. The whole party responded in riotous laughter - literally! That is part of the issue, OP. As far as comparing this area to any other, you simply can not. If not only for the high concentration of those who think that D.C. is the be all and end all. Do you really want to know where they are coming from? Probably not. Holy sh*t! Let them think the rest of the nation and world sucks and that this must be heaven on earth (egads!). Then we won't have to deal with them when we vacation or retire

Know that you are still young and that most people do not and would never retire here, given an option. But that is another thread You have options, OP. Option one: laugh. Laugh often. There is so much around you that is amusing. Example: If you comment how rude someone is, they will counter you with how rude you must be, given that you did well, nothing. You can't buy this stuff!

This hell is not forever. It is overpriced, crowded, self important (read:amusing), stifling hot, incapable, blundering, extremely frustrated, tries to deflect and deny, can't drive and not so pretty, among many other things, but one thing it is not is forever.

Admittedly I didn't read your whole novel, but I have a serious question: can you ACTUALLY not conceive of someone having the same information as you do and making a (gasp!) different choice? Your opinions are not fact, and someone who has a different opinion is not necessarily working with incomplete evidence. If you are that unable to step outside your own little perspective, it's no wonder you're not happy.

[Anonymous]

Not everyone is miserable. We have a great life here. We live in the city in a lovely, diverse neighborhood; we bought our house a long time ago and it's appreciated considerably (unlke the real estate market in the rest of the country). We have lots of good friends and family around. Yes, we don't love having to send our kids to private school, but at least there are lots of good options and we can afford it (those good DC jobs!). Our jobs pay well and we still get lots of time to enjoy our family and the city. Maybe it's because we're older (40's), but lots of us are enjoying life in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The crazy part is some people LOVE the weather here. I don't like the hot summers, but we have mild winters and exceptionally long spring and fall. Also, where is it that has year-round ideal weather? Maybe in Northern California which is just insanely expensive.

Are you kidding? Spring and fall are exceptionally short, here.

And to answer your weather...southern coastal California.

Southern coastal California is full of whackos and there are not four seasons. It's driven by people into cars, how they look and how perfect the weather is. Those aren't my values.

What are you babbling about? When I lived there, I rode my bike to my non-profit job. No one cared--anymore than they do here--about how I dressed. I enjoyed the perfect weather, sunny days and low humidity. I appreciated the change of seasons, marked by rain showers in winter, early morning fog in the spring, slightly more humidity in summer, and dry Santa Ana winds in the fall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a huge difference between DC and these so called "close in suburbs". There is no comparison. Affording a house on Lowell lane or even somewhere like AU Park requires a much higher level of income than the burbs. And yes higher income generally means best and brightest.

Long-time Kent resident here -- living just a block away from Lowell for years. Please, folks, do not be fooled by the well-rehearsed facades so common to the neighborhood. Plenty of people have trust-funds or other inherited family wealth and are definitely not the "best and the brightest." The luckiest, maybe, but not the brightest. Many of these people lay it all on so thick simply to make everyone else believe they really are the best, etc., but this facade is a mile wide and an inch deep. It doesn't take long to figure out that these people are not smarter, more clever, more hard-working, etc. than the average person -- they just hit the lottery.

Truth is, that to afford the lifestyle (expensive house, private school, nanny, housekeeper, Chevy Chase Club, etc.), one truly needs a trust fund. Likely, someone earning their own money would have the good sense to realize they are surrounded by some of the best public schools in the country -- and that they ought to take advantage of them! Honestly, all of this keeping up with the Joneses must be exhausting -- especially when the Joneses so often have the invisible hand of family money keeping them afloat!

So what you are saying is we should move to Fairfax and send our kids to 3000 people schools because they are "good"? And I put good in quotations because we know about the gang problems, the busing, the high student to teacher ratio etc etc. And if most of us hit a genetic lottery that would posit that we inherited most of our family's smart genes to keep this wealth going. Of course a lot of people in wealthy areas have trust funds that's why the areas are wealthy. Just because your family worked hard enough to create multigenerational wealth doesn't diminish your accomplishments.

No, not saying Fairfax. Perhaps the other side of Western Ave. (which separates DC from MoCo). You could live in a Bethesda neighborhood which is just steps from the DC boarder and send your kids to those schools.

Also, have you met many 2nd and 3rd generation wealthy? Your theory of "smart genes" notwithstanding, usually, not the brightest bulbs.

Again why would I want to do that? Higher taxes, PUBLIC schools which have huge classes and tons of other problems. Sending my tax dollars to Baltimore that never come back, at least in DC my tax dollars stay in the same city I live in. MD has just as much corruption and government waste. Plus you lose some social currency if your zip code doesn't end in 20016.

Well then, you aren't like the OP who is struggling to come up with alternatives. That's fine. But, really, do you think anyone is conferring "social currency" upon you b/c you live in 20016. Have lived in that zip for a long time I know that to be bogus. Newsflash: no one cares what your zip is. Look, there are socially connected, powerful, wealthy people in many more zips than 20016 (and 20016 has many folks just struggling to make it work in a tiny house with no wealth, power or perceived social status). However, if you are interested in such things, you are an example of the "keeping up with the Joneses" that the OP and many others have rightfully mocked on this thread.

"Mocked"? Let's call it what it really is "jealousy". OP and the others are jealous that they can't afford to live the upper NW DC lifestyle and this thread Is a free therapy session to vent and hate on the "cool rich kids". Is it wrong to have a trust fund or to work hard and create wealth? Should we give it all away? Would that make y'all all happy if we all lived 20 miles from city center because we were all equal? Give me a break and stop complaining. This is your life so accept it or change it.

Not the PP you're quoting but no, I don't expect you to give up anything. But if you're so well off I would expect you to be able to refrain from shitting on the OP and others in a similar situation. But I guess taking the high road isn't something that can be addressed by your theory of genetic inheritance. The OP is in a tough situation. Many people in this area are in a similar situation and are looking for support so that they know that they're not alone. That's why threads like this pop up all the time. What they're not looking for are people like you to make them feel even worse about their situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I lived in San Diego for 8 years and San Francisco for 2 years. I prefer San Diego, because it's almost always sunny and moderate, except for the occasional May Gray and June Gloom days. And once you've lived in a warm weather state, you do notice the subtle seasonal changes. You're right; it's personal. "

San Diegans don't entertain in their homes much - not much hospitality. Tremendous border patrol issues. Financial issues, always. Just to get 300 + plus days of sunshine a year? Not worth it to me.

You've never lived there, have you? I lived in a very friendly neighborhood and made friends easily. If you're hospitable, then you'll attract like-minded people. If you're not, well, then stop complaining. I entertained much more than I'm able to living in DC. It was always easier to host parties, because you can patio dine almost year-round. Here, I have to worry more about bothering my neighbors because we're in confined quarters. Sure, the city government is in a financial crisis, not unlike DC. The border issue statement is funny. I'm guessing you're a racist, because I can think of no other reason to mention this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ewwww, Cleveland... I grew up there... Ewww, just ewwww.

I never heard of an apt in DC w/o a washer/dryer, central a/c, etc. Maybe you haven't looked at any since the 90ties but things have changed.

In most older buildings, units are not furnished with w/d. Finding an apartment with a w/d is very rare...and expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are some here who have not resided in a nicer place. 'Tis a shame, indeed. You can tell who has immediately. You seem like you have known nicer, so you have a point of comparison. Life is short. Explore your options! Those that do not, or are "Rah rah D.C." why are you even on this post? To be a typical, antagonistic, counter productive, bullyish, D.C. type? Really? How's that serving you so far? By the looks on your faces, not so good.

That said, I know what you mention, OP. I have found in my too many years here that those who try to act important, and are stumbling over themselves being snifflier than thou, are really just extemely pissed off about how little they have accomplished and how far they have not come in their time here. Consistently. Remember that. Laugh at it. It is funny.

As far as the PP who mentioned "shallow" and "weather" in the same sentence: I want to know where you score your crack, because I could use some of that while living here with the likes of you.

I was at a party recently and I heard someone's MIL mention that people are "friendly" here. The whole party responded in riotous laughter - literally! That is part of the issue, OP. As far as comparing this area to any other, you simply can not. If not only for the high concentration of those who think that D.C. is the be all and end all. Do you really want to know where they are coming from? Probably not. Holy sh*t! Let them think the rest of the nation and world sucks and that this must be heaven on earth (egads!). Then we won't have to deal with them when we vacation or retire

Know that you are still young and that most people do not and would never retire here, given an option. But that is another thread You have options, OP. Option one: laugh. Laugh often. There is so much around you that is amusing. Example: If you comment how rude someone is, they will counter you with how rude you must be, given that you did well, nothing. You can't buy this stuff!

This hell is not forever. It is overpriced, crowded, self important (read:amusing), stifling hot, incapable, blundering, extremely frustrated, tries to deflect and deny, can't drive and not so pretty, among many other things, but one thing it is not is forever.

I'm sorry you're so unhappy. Hope things get better for you soon.