I haven't figured out how people raise children in DC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The job thing, I agree, is out of control. People massively overestimate their own importance, and need to relax more, spend less time in the office, and generate self-worth other than through their jobs.

The high price for housing thing is just a reflection of the relatively high incomes and the fact that lots of people want to live here. It is still a lot cheaper than other places like London, New York, or San Francisco.As for your question of whether people are happy raising children here, the answer is of course no. If we wanted to be happy we wouldn't have had kids. We would be on a mini-break now on some Caribbean Island. But we were idiots.

actually, it isn't.

[Anonymous]

Eh, I really haven't experienced the crazy rat-race style of parenting in DC. My neighborhood (NW DC) is full of intersting, accomplished people raising their kids all over the spectrum of relaxed-to-uptight. Yes, the work culture is a bit, um, intense, but it's actually sort of funny if you take a step back and consider how insignificant most people's work really is (at least, that helps me keep perspective in the office).

We live in a small house but moved from the suburbs before we had kids to ease our commute, and I really love our lifestyle. We pay a ton for childcare, but I'm not particularly aware of folks really splurging or judging on things like kids' clothes. In fact, my DD and a daycare buddy showed up in the same Target shorts for $3 last week, and us moms shared a little laugh about it. Might be time for OP and some of the others to find friends who really share your values.

[Anonymous]

Be happy you're renting. That will at least make it easier if you decide to leave. I would love to move some place else, but my DH has a very specialized job, and there are very few places that we could go where he would be employable. Sadly, DC is the best of those places. He has even considered switching careers to become a high school teacher or something so we could get out of here. Of course, we'd probably lose money selling our house. My son is only 4 months old, and I really hope we don't live here by the time he starts school.

[Anonymous]

Learn to set boundaries for the benefit of your children. Don't take your blackberry with you everywhere. Just don't work 50 hr weeks. Engage in the community. Make friends with other families. It's your ship!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The job thing, I agree, is out of control. People massively overestimate their own importance, and need to relax more, spend less time in the office, and generate self-worth other than through their jobs.

The high price for housing thing is just a reflection of the relatively high incomes and the fact that lots of people want to live here. It is still a lot cheaper than other places like London, New York, or San Francisco.As for your question of whether people are happy raising children here, the answer is of course no. If we wanted to be happy we wouldn't have had kids. We would be on a mini-break now on some Caribbean Island. But we were idiots.

actually, it isn't.

http://www.forbes.com/2008/01/07/rentals-US-expensive-forbeslife-cx_mw_0107realestate1_slide_8.html?thisSpeed=undefined

Rents here are crazy, though to be fair, still about $1k less than NYC. And I don't think the pay scale keeps pace with rents. I think the high end jobs here drive the rents, and the rest of us schmuks pay the penalty for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The job thing, I agree, is out of control. People massively overestimate their own importance, and need to relax more, spend less time in the office, and generate self-worth other than through their jobs.

The high price for housing thing is just a reflection of the relatively high incomes and the fact that lots of people want to live here. It is still a lot cheaper than other places like London, New York, or San Francisco.As for your question of whether people are happy raising children here, the answer is of course no. If we wanted to be happy we wouldn't have had kids. We would be on a mini-break now on some Caribbean Island. But we were idiots.

actually, it isn't.

Can't speak to San Francisco, but housing in DC is definately cheaper than London and New York (Manhattan and most of Brooklyn). The thing that distinguishes DC is the traffic/commute. I was content to raise my child in a 1 BR apartment when we lived in NYC, but would not have been happy with a 45 minute commute on top of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The job thing, I agree, is out of control. People massively overestimate their own importance, and need to relax more, spend less time in the office, and generate self-worth other than through their jobs.

The high price for housing thing is just a reflection of the relatively high incomes and the fact that lots of people want to live here. It is still a lot cheaper than other places like London, New York, or San Francisco.As for your question of whether people are happy raising children here, the answer is of course no. If we wanted to be happy we wouldn't have had kids. We would be on a mini-break now on some Caribbean Island. But we were idiots.

actually, it isn't.

actually, it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh, I really haven't experienced the crazy rat-race style of parenting in DC. My neighborhood (NW DC) is full of intersting, accomplished people raising their kids all over the spectrum of relaxed-to-uptight. Yes, the work culture is a bit, um, intense, but it's actually sort of funny if you take a step back and consider how insignificant most people's work really is (at least, that helps me keep perspective in the office).

We live in a small house but moved from the suburbs before we had kids to ease our commute, and I really love our lifestyle. We pay a ton for childcare, but I'm not particularly aware of folks really splurging or judging on things like kids' clothes. In fact, my DD and a daycare buddy showed up in the same Target shorts for $3 last week, and us moms shared a little laugh about it. Might be time for OP and some of the others to find friends who really share your values.

Exactly, stop trying to keep up with what others are doing. Live within your means (move if you need to) and stop worrying about how others make/spend their money.

[Anonymous]

OP again - i could deal with the rents and helicopter moms and the insane daycare costs, etc. Or I could deal with the horrible weather, crappy commutes, and high job expectations. But not all of the above. This is no way to live.

[Anonymous]

Where do you work that you are 5 miles and 45 minutes commuting? Not being snarky but really?

[Anonymous]

I'm all for DC bashing (the weather really does suck), but I do think any major metropolitan area is going to have many of the same issues you describe. Competitive environment for kids (although I think this is really hit or miss and you can find pockets of normal peopel anywhere), bad traffic, longer hours, expensive housing.

I grew up in a second (or even third) tier city and sure, the pace of life was slower. But to be very blunt, it was incredibly homogenous and provincial. And I don't think being smart or accomplished was all that valued by parents or my peers. In fact, in high school I tried to actively hide the fact that I was smart and tried not to use words that were too big. Because I would get made fun of.

I guess my point is that it's all trade offs. And grass is always greener.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where do you work that you are 5 miles and 45 minutes commuting? Not being snarky but really?

Yes, really. We live in SE DC, over the bridges. Not a section many moms on the DCUM board know exist, I suspect.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I'm happy raising my children here. I have a 10 minute commute, for starters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are totally right. People may flame you, but honestly, people here SUCK. I grew up in this area and did not realize how abnormal things were until I left for college. I went to a very competitive small liberal arts school and was shocked to find out that everyone else did not have a complete life plan at age 18, since I and all of my friends did.

This is the land of keeping up with the Joneses and my friends who live other places (especially the south and midwest) are SO much happier.

I don't try to keep up with the Joneses, maybe that's why I like it here. We have no mortgage, use public schools, our cars are 10+ years old and our stress is pretty low.

[Anonymous]

The crazy part is some people LOVE the weather here. I don't like the hot summers, but we have mild winters and exceptionally long spring and fall. Also, where is it that has year-round ideal weather? Maybe in Northern California which is just insanely expensive.