My DH regrets having kids

[Anonymous]

OP,

I’m a mother, 33, and my husband and I had our kids young. Very young. They’re 8 & 6 now. The first 3-4 years was absolute hell my husband and I both admitted that we regretted having children. This was magnified by our oldest getting diagnosed with autism at 2 and my husband deploying for a year when our kids were roughly 18 months and 3. I had never been more depressed in my entire life.

Fast forward to now and we’re both much happier. Sometimes we even flirt with the idea of having a 3rd. It probably won’t happen, because let’s be honest, as time passes you tend to romanticize the idea of having a baby. This is especially true for us because all our friends are just starting to start their families and babies are cute.

My husband enjoys fatherhood so much more now that the kids are older and more self-sufficient. They still drive us crazy most days and it isn’t all rainbows and butterflies but it’s definitely better than the early years. I hear from lots of older moms and grandmas that you most enjoy your kids when they become adults— supposing they’re not hooked on drugs or still living in the basement at 30 years old.

[Anonymous]

PP here. Didn’t realize this thread was from 2011! Still applies for readers who can relate, though.

[Anonymous]

My DH on the other hand, says to me frequently that if he knew what he knows now, he would not have had the kids.

Sooner rather than later the children will hear this, and frankly, their unfiltered awareness teaches them of their father's utter disregard for them.
My father was the same. Fifty years later, the pain has eased, but the memories are as vivid as ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH on the other hand, says to me frequently that if he knew what he knows now, he would not have had the kids.

Sooner rather than later the children will hear this, and frankly, their unfiltered awareness teaches them of their father's utter disregard for them.
My father was the same. Fifty years later, the pain has eased, but the memories are as vivid as ever.

Your father actually told you that? Did he behave that way as well and does he still believe that? That’s surprising!