Have you decided to age naturally, gracefully- no botox, etc.?

[Anonymous]

I decided to “grow old gracefully” when I turned 45. I stopped coloring my hair (it was blonde, so I did low-lights until its natural color came in). I have sensitive skin, so I never did use AHAs or anything like that. I have a pretty simple beauty routine — I use a basic cleanser, and then a cream-based moisturizer (CeraVe Night Cream and Clinique Dramatically Different Cream). I wear very little makeup (usually none, but I will sometimes wear something when I dress up). When I am in the sun, I use sunscreen and I wear a hat. I have no interest in Botox or other cosmetic procedures because I read a book a long time ago (Beauty Junkies) that illustrated how addictive those procedures can be (something I want to avoid). I think I look pretty good for a 56 year old and when people at work learn my age, they are surprised. I have friends who have had procedures and they look terrific; but I also have friends who look like they have had work done — I would probably fit into that category, which is another reason why I don’t want to do anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Botox and fillers are off-putting and can actually age your appearance. They’re artificial attempts to achieve a certain look. There are natural ways to maintain a youthful appearance. For example, my aunt, who is 56, looks 20 years younger. She’s had a stress free life—she never worked, her kids were raised by nannies, and she focused on wellness from a young age. She started using prescriptions like Tretinoin at 16, and was very into anti-aging, she stayed hydrated inside and out, didn’t wear makeup and never forgot sunscreen, ate an organic diet/no carbs, and the most important thing, was sleep, which contributed to her overall appearance.

Being very rich and living a life of leisure decreases visible aging? Wow, this is the first I’m hearing of this, thank you for sharing this actionable insight.

[Anonymous]

I cannot afford Botox or fillers or peels and I always wonder if I could would I partake??

The only thing I do is cover up my grays.
I simply refuse to go gray now.
I am 57 so who knows when, if ever I will go natural but right now I am much too vain.
Haha!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was at a party last night. Some older lady said I had beautiful bone structure but I needed to step up my skincare routine.
I am doing what I can but I was gravely insulted. Maybe some ppl don’t care what their skin looks like?

Perhaps she is a skincare rep….think for Mary Kay, Avon or Arbonne.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was at a party last night. Some older lady said I had beautiful bone structure but I needed to step up my skincare routine.
I am doing what I can but I was gravely insulted. Maybe some ppl don’t care what their skin looks like?

Perhaps she is a skincare rep….think for Mary Kay, Avon or Arbonne.

At any rate, it was WAY too forward

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It helps to live in the DMV where I’ve never seen a woman wear makeup. I guess if I lived in CA or TX I might be reaching for these interventions more.

+1. My office is full of 40-65 year old women, and no one does anything. I feel like doing anything would make me stand out in a weird way.

This is why the DMV sucks so bad. You don't have to have a Mar-a-lago face to look nice. I dress up everyday and do wear makeup. I certainly stand out in the office. I also get a LOT of compliments because I act like I give a sh*t.

I do all the things. Botox, micro-needling, chemical peels, really good skincare. I recently had filler dissolved that was initially under my eyes for hallows, but it moved into my cheeks. If you didn't know you wouldn't notice b/c I have high cheekbones, but it bothered me. Much happier without it.

I also dress nicely and am thin. I am very fit. I'm 56. I'm not trying to look younger, just really good for my age.

Just people are polite enough not to mention your messed up fillers doesn’t mean they didn’t notice.

That's really mean. Why are women saying these kinds of things? It's the patriarchy getting us to fight.

I probably won't ever get fillers, Botox, etc, but I don't know why we're tearing each other down. I don't think either way is right or says something larger about society. It's the mommy wars continued.

I’m confident that sticking chemicals in your face to fight a losing battle is the wrong way. I have no idea what you are prattling on about the patriarchy and mommy wars. Lord. Women don’t gain, nearly what they lose, when they spend so much money on their appearance.

You continue to prove my point with the sexist term "prattling on."

I am happy to report that prattling on is an equal opportunity insult.

Nope. Nobody says that about men.

Here you are certain that your thoughts about beauty are the right way, but you're ignoring the ugliness within.

I do, especially when they make dumb comments. So how is taking issue with women spending $$$ to inject their faces with chemicals to fight a losing battle with aging part of the patriarchy? You never were able to defend that pathetic statement.

+ a million. Absurd. But she does this sht to be “better” than other women, and cannot admit it to herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was at a party last night. Some older lady said I had beautiful bone structure but I needed to step up my skincare routine.
I am doing what I can but I was gravely insulted. Maybe some ppl don’t care what their skin looks like?

lol. Sounds like one of the old ladies on that DCUM thread talking about how they don’t give an eff about anything anymore. She probably just goes around insulting people all day everyday.

Grow up, please. The person insulting someone at a party over their appearance is more likely than not a procedures evangelist who is sharing her magical secrets for never looking older than 30.

This thread has been incredibly mean and nasty towards women who don’t use anti-aging procedures, catching strays for being horrible judgmental hags for literally doing nothing to themselves or another woman. It feeds into patriarchy, it’s sexist, and it’s legitimately, deeply cruel. I don’t do the omg how old she looks thing, even in my head really. I worry about me, and I’m not Lauren Sanchez or Mackenzie Scott, i don’t have effectively limitless resources. I just can’t sit on my hands when women like me are degraded by other women here for doing nothing. I’m on this board because I’ve loved fashion and good fashion writing my whole waking life, and the narrowness of beauty discussion to this is depressing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It helps to live in the DMV where I’ve never seen a woman wear makeup. I guess if I lived in CA or TX I might be reaching for these interventions more.

+1. My office is full of 40-65 year old women, and no one does anything. I feel like doing anything would make me stand out in a weird way.

This is why the DMV sucks so bad. You don't have to have a Mar-a-lago face to look nice. I dress up everyday and do wear makeup. I certainly stand out in the office. I also get a LOT of compliments because I act like I give a sh*t.

I do all the things. Botox, micro-needling, chemical peels, really good skincare. I recently had filler dissolved that was initially under my eyes for hallows, but it moved into my cheeks. If you didn't know you wouldn't notice b/c I have high cheekbones, but it bothered me. Much happier without it.

I also dress nicely and am thin. I am very fit. I'm 56. I'm not trying to look younger, just really good for my age.

Just people are polite enough not to mention your messed up fillers doesn’t mean they didn’t notice.

That's really mean. Why are women saying these kinds of things? It's the patriarchy getting us to fight.

I probably won't ever get fillers, Botox, etc, but I don't know why we're tearing each other down. I don't think either way is right or says something larger about society. It's the mommy wars continued.

I’m confident that sticking chemicals in your face to fight a losing battle is the wrong way. I have no idea what you are prattling on about the patriarchy and mommy wars. Lord. Women don’t gain, nearly what they lose, when they spend so much money on their appearance.

You continue to prove my point with the sexist term "prattling on."

I am happy to report that prattling on is an equal opportunity insult.

Nope. Nobody says that about men.

Here you are certain that your thoughts about beauty are the right way, but you're ignoring the ugliness within.

I do, especially when they make dumb comments. So how is taking issue with women spending $$$ to inject their faces with chemicals to fight a losing battle with aging part of the patriarchy? You never were able to defend that pathetic statement.

+ a million. Absurd. But she does this sht to be “better” than other women, and cannot admit it to herself.

LOL. I think I'm "better" than other women because I'm asking people to stop caring about who "ages gracefully" and who does not because it's a no-win battle?! I'm not on here needing a cookie because I don't do Botox. Obviously both of you have to judge other women because you're not comfortable in your own skin. This started with the other pp being pissed that I called out her mean comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was at a party last night. Some older lady said I had beautiful bone structure but I needed to step up my skincare routine.
I am doing what I can but I was gravely insulted. Maybe some ppl don’t care what their skin looks like?

lol. Sounds like one of the old ladies on that DCUM thread talking about how they don’t give an eff about anything anymore. She probably just goes around insulting people all day everyday.

Grow up, please. The person insulting someone at a party over their appearance is more likely than not a procedures evangelist who is sharing her magical secrets for never looking older than 30.

This thread has been incredibly mean and nasty towards women who don’t use anti-aging procedures, catching strays for being horrible judgmental hags for literally doing nothing to themselves or another woman. It feeds into patriarchy, it’s sexist, and it’s legitimately, deeply cruel. I don’t do the omg how old she looks thing, even in my head really. I worry about me, and I’m not Lauren Sanchez or Mackenzie Scott, i don’t have effectively limitless resources. I just can’t sit on my hands when women like me are degraded by other women here for doing nothing. I’m on this board because I’ve loved fashion and good fashion writing my whole waking life, and the narrowness of beauty discussion to this is depressing.

Uh, no. Mud has been slung from both sides, just like the mommy wars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was at a party last night. Some older lady said I had beautiful bone structure but I needed to step up my skincare routine.
I am doing what I can but I was gravely insulted. Maybe some ppl don’t care what their skin looks like?

lol. Sounds like one of the old ladies on that DCUM thread talking about how they don’t give an eff about anything anymore. She probably just goes around insulting people all day everyday.

Grow up, please. The person insulting someone at a party over their appearance is more likely than not a procedures evangelist who is sharing her magical secrets for never looking older than 30.

This thread has been incredibly mean and nasty towards women who don’t use anti-aging procedures, catching strays for being horrible judgmental hags for literally doing nothing to themselves or another woman. It feeds into patriarchy, it’s sexist, and it’s legitimately, deeply cruel. I don’t do the omg how old she looks thing, even in my head really. I worry about me, and I’m not Lauren Sanchez or Mackenzie Scott, i don’t have effectively limitless resources. I just can’t sit on my hands when women like me are degraded by other women here for doing nothing. I’m on this board because I’ve loved fashion and good fashion writing my whole waking life, and the narrowness of beauty discussion to this is depressing.

Uh, no. Mud has been slung from both sides, just like the mommy wars.

Uh, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It helps to live in the DMV where I’ve never seen a woman wear makeup. I guess if I lived in CA or TX I might be reaching for these interventions more.

+1. My office is full of 40-65 year old women, and no one does anything. I feel like doing anything would make me stand out in a weird way.

This is why the DMV sucks so bad. You don't have to have a Mar-a-lago face to look nice. I dress up everyday and do wear makeup. I certainly stand out in the office. I also get a LOT of compliments because I act like I give a sh*t.

I do all the things. Botox, micro-needling, chemical peels, really good skincare. I recently had filler dissolved that was initially under my eyes for hallows, but it moved into my cheeks. If you didn't know you wouldn't notice b/c I have high cheekbones, but it bothered me. Much happier without it.

I also dress nicely and am thin. I am very fit. I'm 56. I'm not trying to look younger, just really good for my age.

Just people are polite enough not to mention your messed up fillers doesn’t mean they didn’t notice.

That's really mean. Why are women saying these kinds of things? It's the patriarchy getting us to fight.

I probably won't ever get fillers, Botox, etc, but I don't know why we're tearing each other down. I don't think either way is right or says something larger about society. It's the mommy wars continued.

I’m confident that sticking chemicals in your face to fight a losing battle is the wrong way. I have no idea what you are prattling on about the patriarchy and mommy wars. Lord. Women don’t gain, nearly what they lose, when they spend so much money on their appearance.

You continue to prove my point with the sexist term "prattling on."

I am happy to report that prattling on is an equal opportunity insult.

Nope. Nobody says that about men.

Here you are certain that your thoughts about beauty are the right way, but you're ignoring the ugliness within.

I do, especially when they make dumb comments. So how is taking issue with women spending $$$ to inject their faces with chemicals to fight a losing battle with aging part of the patriarchy? You never were able to defend that pathetic statement.

+ a million. Absurd. But she does this sht to be “better” than other women, and cannot admit it to herself.

LOL. I think I'm "better" than other women because I'm asking people to stop caring about who "ages gracefully" and who does not because it's a no-win battle?! I'm not on here needing a cookie because I don't do Botox. Obviously both of you have to judge other women because you're not comfortable in your own skin. This started with the other pp being pissed that I called out her mean comment.

This is an absolute crock and who TF cares about your wilding out on PP. You are wildly immature and defensive AF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It helps to live in the DMV where I’ve never seen a woman wear makeup. I guess if I lived in CA or TX I might be reaching for these interventions more.

My younger brother and his wife live in Dallas. She is 10 years younger than me (so early 40s), and all her friends use botox, chemical peels etc. She and I were discussing this, and I realized that at 53 I don't know anybody who uses botox, fillers, or even chemical peels. I use tretinoin and most of the women my age color their hair to hide gray, but I think DC tends to be low intervention. I am in academia. My good friends are in large non-profits, academica, and federal government. Maybe it helps to look a little older in these environments?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It helps to live in the DMV where I’ve never seen a woman wear makeup. I guess if I lived in CA or TX I might be reaching for these interventions more.

My younger brother and his wife live in Dallas. She is 10 years younger than me (so early 40s), and all her friends use botox, chemical peels etc. She and I were discussing this, and I realized that at 53 I don't know anybody who uses botox, fillers, or even chemical peels. I use tretinoin and most of the women my age color their hair to hide gray, but I think DC tends to be low intervention. I am in academia. My good friends are in large non-profits, academica, and federal government. Maybe it helps to look a little older in these environments?

not really, as woman for any job you want to look 30-40

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It helps to live in the DMV where I’ve never seen a woman wear makeup. I guess if I lived in CA or TX I might be reaching for these interventions more.

My younger brother and his wife live in Dallas. She is 10 years younger than me (so early 40s), and all her friends use botox, chemical peels etc. She and I were discussing this, and I realized that at 53 I don't know anybody who uses botox, fillers, or even chemical peels. I use tretinoin and most of the women my age color their hair to hide gray, but I think DC tends to be low intervention. I am in academia. My good friends are in large non-profits, academica, and federal government. Maybe it helps to look a little older in these environments?

not really, as woman for any job you want to look 30-40

Completely untrue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was at a party last night. Some older lady said I had beautiful bone structure but I needed to step up my skincare routine.
I am doing what I can but I was gravely insulted. Maybe some ppl don’t care what their skin looks like?

lol. Sounds like one of the old ladies on that DCUM thread talking about how they don’t give an eff about anything anymore. She probably just goes around insulting people all day everyday.

Grow up, please. The person insulting someone at a party over their appearance is more likely than not a procedures evangelist who is sharing her magical secrets for never looking older than 30.

This thread has been incredibly mean and nasty towards women who don’t use anti-aging procedures, catching strays for being horrible judgmental hags for literally doing nothing to themselves or another woman. It feeds into patriarchy, it’s sexist, and it’s legitimately, deeply cruel. I don’t do the omg how old she looks thing, even in my head really. I worry about me, and I’m not Lauren Sanchez or Mackenzie Scott, i don’t have effectively limitless resources. I just can’t sit on my hands when women like me are degraded by other women here for doing nothing. I’m on this board because I’ve loved fashion and good fashion writing my whole waking life, and the narrowness of beauty discussion to this is depressing.

You are taking an internet message board far too seriously. Go have some oxygen or botox.