DD not excited about any of her options

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:None of the OOS are appealing enough to pay double. JMU is a great option. I agree it's anxiety more than anything. I especially hear many girls go through this spring before college.

https://www.sarahkipnestherapy.com/blog/is-your-teen-anxious-about-college

No, it isn't anxiety. She went to Yorktown/McLean/Langley. She's embarrassed by her choices. That's what's driving this. And she will get over it.

That’s bull. More kids in that area are going to colleges just like the ones she’s looking at. There aren’t even any top rated private schools or feeder schools.

No public school sends the majority of students to Ivy League or even top ten.

You're not from the DMV and you don't understand the mindset at those three schools. It's very obvious.

DP - I am from the DMV. Not everyone has that mindset.
Lots of Yorktown students go to JMU. And Indiana is growing in popularity.

God you people are obtuse.

You're not from Yorktown/McLean/Langley

Yes, lot of Yorktown students go to JMU. That doesn't mean they want to. It's a pressure cooker kind of school. A UVA or bust school. There's a lot of disappointment and feeling like a failure if you're not UVA, W&M, or a top private. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying it's what it is.

I KNOW that that is what is eating at OP's kid. There's nothing wrong with any of the schools the kid got into other than the fact that, where she is about to graduate from, they're not schools that anybody brags about. She's embarrassed. Rightly or wrongly, she is. But she'll get over it.

OMG. Talk about obtuse! You are totally making up an attitude that does.not.exist. The kids who go to JMU LOVE it - no one is embarrassed. Get over yourself. You seem to be a problematic person, making up these narratives that simply don't exist.
DP

You missed the whole point of the conversation.

Many posters on this thread are. It's comical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of the OOS are appealing enough to pay double. JMU is a great option. I agree it's anxiety more than anything. I especially hear many girls go through this spring before college.

https://www.sarahkipnestherapy.com/blog/is-your-teen-anxious-about-college

No, it isn't anxiety. She went to Yorktown/McLean/Langley. She's embarrassed by her choices. That's what's driving this. And she will get over it.

That’s bull. More kids in that area are going to colleges just like the ones she’s looking at. There aren’t even any top rated private schools or feeder schools.

No public school sends the majority of students to Ivy League or even top ten.

You're not from the DMV and you don't understand the mindset at those three schools. It's very obvious.

DP - I am from the DMV. Not everyone has that mindset.
Lots of Yorktown students go to JMU. And Indiana is growing in popularity.

God you people are obtuse.

You're not from Yorktown/McLean/Langley

Yes, lot of Yorktown students go to JMU. That doesn't mean they want to. It's a pressure cooker kind of school. A UVA or bust school. There's a lot of disappointment and feeling like a failure if you're not UVA, W&M, or a top private. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying it's what it is.

I KNOW that that is what is eating at OP's kid. There's nothing wrong with any of the schools the kid got into other than the fact that, where she is about to graduate from, they're not schools that anybody brags about. She's embarrassed. Rightly or wrongly, she is. But she'll get over it.

OMG. Talk about obtuse! You are totally making up an attitude that does.not.exist. The kids who go to JMU LOVE it - no one is embarrassed. Get over yourself. You seem to be a problematic person, making up these narratives that simply don't exist.
DP

Why are you being so defensive? I never said that kids who go to JMU don't love it. In fact, I know they do. I know a million kids who went to JMU and have no regrets. It's a great school.

What I said is that, for many kids who attend Yorktown/McLean/Langley, having their college acceptances top out at JMU is a disappointment AT THE TIME. We are talking about competitive high schools with pushy parents and high achieving kids, with many gunning for highly ranked colleges. Yes, in the end they will all discover that it doesn't really matter and that a few years down the road nobody will care where you went to college. But that's not what many kids and parents are thinking AT THE TIME.

I remain convinced that that is the primary driver behind OP's daughter not being "excited" about her college options. They're not instagram worthy. But, again, she'll get over it.

Sounds like miserable schools and parents.

Maybe. Maybe not. But you're clearly just another poster from outside the area who doesn't really understand the dynamics and can't really offer informed advice.

Apparently, the elitism among some students and families at these schools is deeply engrained.

[Anonymous]

I totally understand the girl's feelings of ending up at a so-called also-ran school, even though I do think in this case she has a lot of good choices. My scenario was different but the bottom line is that for financial reasons I took a full scholarship at a second tier state school rather than attending full-pay one of the many top 20 schools that I got into include Duke and Georgetown. Financially it was the right decision but definitely hard at my high-SES school to get excited when I was surrounded by kids heading to Ivies+, LACs and other highly thought of schools.

It's all worked out long-term but to OP I get her feelings. All I can say is to make sure you hit those Admitted Students Days, make sure she's following IG accounts for those schools and even for particular ECs that she's interested in whether that's a club or a sorority or whatever. It sounds obnoxious but yes also have her follow the accepted students pages, and see the excitement from those kids who could end up being her classmates.

It's only March 1st, she has 2 months to make a decision and hopefully end up at peace with whatever she chooses, even if she isn't in love.

[Anonymous]

Indiana U is a great place!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of the OOS are appealing enough to pay double. JMU is a great option. I agree it's anxiety more than anything. I especially hear many girls go through this spring before college.

https://www.sarahkipnestherapy.com/blog/is-your-teen-anxious-about-college

No, it isn't anxiety. She went to Yorktown/McLean/Langley. She's embarrassed by her choices. That's what's driving this. And she will get over it.

That’s bull. More kids in that area are going to colleges just like the ones she’s looking at. There aren’t even any top rated private schools or feeder schools.

No public school sends the majority of students to Ivy League or even top ten.

You're not from the DMV and you don't understand the mindset at those three schools. It's very obvious.

DP. I was born and raised here, attended one of those high schools, and now my own kids attend one of them. You are just spouting absolute BS. And how would you know what the "mindset" is at three different schools? It's pretty clear you don't have kids at even one of them because your posts read like fiction.

If your kid's only expectation is JMU, I'm sure they will be happy.

Well, to be fair, a 3.5w gpa should have no expectation of UVA.

[Anonymous]

Who is the IU parent constantly promoting it.

[Anonymous]

Indiana is great. My daughter is going there; but if OP's kid wants to be a business major, it's pretty much impossible to switch to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congrats to your DD on some great options.

My DS is similar. He only had a 3.0 when applying. He did submit his SAT score since it was good considering his GPA (1380). He’s at a competitive NJ public (there are several Ivy acceptances and 6 kids to NYU so far this year). But also—plenty of kids going to less selective schools. Including 2 girls choosing JMU OOS for what it’s worth.

He is waiting on a couple things still but has some great options and has shown no excitement at all about any of them. Accepted to U Denver last week. Accepted to UConn last night (a school he visited already and loved the campus). Accepted Miami of OH. Just kind of shrugged at the news.

I think a couple of things are going on that may also be true for your DD. One is just general anxiety about leaving home (he was not opposed to applying far away, but commented how “far” U Denver is once he was accepted). Another is maybe lack of enthusiasm about continuing his education in general, when parts of high school were difficult. Concern about fitting in. And then similar to your DD, no real “dream school”. Although unlike your DD, he’s not paying attention to other kids’ acceptances (and his friends are not the Ivy+ crowd).

I disagree with others encouraging application last minute to some rolling admission schools. Those schools aren’t better than your DD’s current options, and I don’t see why she’d be more excited about Temple, for example, than the schools you mentioned (I’ve visited Temple).

Sounds like you are planning to visit all her choices, which is great. She may click with one. She may not. If she’s still unsure, have her make a pros/cons list for the top couple of options. See if the guidance counselor can set up a call with a HS alumnus who is a current student at these universities, or a friend’s kid if you know one, to talk to her (my older DS did this and it helped him decide between 2 schools). Once she’s made her decision, buy her some swag so she can start to get excited.

I’ve definitely known of kids attending their “dream school” and having tough first semesters/years (sometimes transferring). Lower expectations are not always a bad thing, she may be pleasantly surprised.

I'm not the OP, but my kids graduated from one of the high schools she says hers went to. Your comment is a good example of why sometimes it's so annoying to have posters weigh in from outside the DMV. You just don't get the dynamics at play here. OP's kid attends a "UVA or bust" school. Your kid doesn't attend a "Rutgers or bust" school. Your kids routinely go out of state and JMU is a popular option. Where OP's kid goes to high school, JMU to many still stands for "Just Missed UVA."

DP. I grew up in NJ and now live in the DMV. Have a senior at one of the area pressure-cooker public high schools.

You completely missed the point of PP's post. Every competitive school pushes their kid to the top schools and whispers about everything else as failure. Her point is that this is nonsense. There are lots of ways to be successful. And your consolation prize is another kid's regular prize. Your mind is just too warped by this process to understand that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD has applied broadly to 10+ schools and is more of an average student (3.5w in NoVa, test optional), and has gotten some great acceptances (in my book) but is not really in love with any of them.

She would ideally be a business or marketing major but did not apply to the business school at most college because it was more competitive.

Her current choices are: JMU, Michigan state, Indiana, college of Charleston, and is requesting review to main campus at Penn state. (Accepted to 2+2).

She is not really interested in some of the smaller schools we looked at.

How can I help her come to terms with the fact that there may be no “dream” school for her? Also she does not want to take a gap year or go to NOVA and then transfer.

My advice if she really wants to do business is to go to JMU or College of Charleston. With her GPA, she will have a hard time getting into IU Kelley, Penn State Smeal, and Michigan Broad.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, she should be thrilled with these options! What's the deal? With a 3.5 and TO, I would expect worse!

[Anonymous]

Would she be excited about accepting one but deferring admission to work & travel during a gap year? Will emerge with much clearer perspective and excited for that school or a clear plan to apply elsewhere…in that case you might learn which of the contender schools will allow this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of the OOS are appealing enough to pay double. JMU is a great option. I agree it's anxiety more than anything. I especially hear many girls go through this spring before college.

https://www.sarahkipnestherapy.com/blog/is-your-teen-anxious-about-college

No, it isn't anxiety. She went to Yorktown/McLean/Langley. She's embarrassed by her choices. That's what's driving this. And she will get over it.

That’s bull. More kids in that area are going to colleges just like the ones she’s looking at. There aren’t even any top rated private schools or feeder schools.

No public school sends the majority of students to Ivy League or even top ten.

You're not from the DMV and you don't understand the mindset at those three schools. It's very obvious.

DP - I am from the DMV. Not everyone has that mindset.
Lots of Yorktown students go to JMU. And Indiana is growing in popularity.

God you people are obtuse.

You're not from Yorktown/McLean/Langley

Yes, lot of Yorktown students go to JMU. That doesn't mean they want to. It's a pressure cooker kind of school. A UVA or bust school. There's a lot of disappointment and feeling like a failure if you're not UVA, W&M, or a top private. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying it's what it is.

I KNOW that that is what is eating at OP's kid. There's nothing wrong with any of the schools the kid got into other than the fact that, where she is about to graduate from, they're not schools that anybody brags about. She's embarrassed. Rightly or wrongly, she is. But she'll get over it.

OMG. Talk about obtuse! You are totally making up an attitude that does.not.exist. The kids who go to JMU LOVE it - no one is embarrassed. Get over yourself. You seem to be a problematic person, making up these narratives that simply don't exist.
DP

Why are you being so defensive? I never said that kids who go to JMU don't love it. In fact, I know they do. I know a million kids who went to JMU and have no regrets. It's a great school.

What I said is that, for many kids who attend Yorktown/McLean/Langley, having their college acceptances top out at JMU is a disappointment AT THE TIME. We are talking about competitive high schools with pushy parents and high achieving kids, with many gunning for highly ranked colleges. Yes, in the end they will all discover that it doesn't really matter and that a few years down the road nobody will care where you went to college. But that's not what many kids and parents are thinking AT THE TIME.

I remain convinced that that is the primary driver behind OP's daughter not being "excited" about her college options. They're not instagram worthy. But, again, she'll get over it.

USNWR ranking started this mess. Parents become obsessed with it and then it trickles down to the kids. The best thing the OP should do is reassure their kid that she is loved and that they believe in her. The rankings are bullshXX!

UVA has always been the Holy Grail in NOVA high schools. Even before the rankings.

Bless your heart. No it hasn’t.

Can we stop with the misogynistic put downs? Thanks.

What? "Bless your heart" is an equal-opportunity put down. It has nothing to do with women.

[Anonymous]

It’s okay, OP! My son wasn’t over the moon over it either, and didn’t even make up his mind until just a few days before the deadlines.

Visiting on accepted students days did help him narrow it down, so you still have some move visits and she may come away from one of those visits and think, “this is where I can see myself”.

Good luck!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of the OOS are appealing enough to pay double. JMU is a great option. I agree it's anxiety more than anything. I especially hear many girls go through this spring before college.

https://www.sarahkipnestherapy.com/blog/is-your-teen-anxious-about-college

No, it isn't anxiety. She went to Yorktown/McLean/Langley. She's embarrassed by her choices. That's what's driving this. And she will get over it.

That’s bull. More kids in that area are going to colleges just like the ones she’s looking at. There aren’t even any top rated private schools or feeder schools.

No public school sends the majority of students to Ivy League or even top ten.

You're not from the DMV and you don't understand the mindset at those three schools. It's very obvious.

DP - I am from the DMV. Not everyone has that mindset.
Lots of Yorktown students go to JMU. And Indiana is growing in popularity.

God you people are obtuse.

You're not from Yorktown/McLean/Langley

Yes, lot of Yorktown students go to JMU. That doesn't mean they want to. It's a pressure cooker kind of school. A UVA or bust school. There's a lot of disappointment and feeling like a failure if you're not UVA, W&M, or a top private. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying it's what it is.

I KNOW that that is what is eating at OP's kid. There's nothing wrong with any of the schools the kid got into other than the fact that, where she is about to graduate from, they're not schools that anybody brags about. She's embarrassed. Rightly or wrongly, she is. But she'll get over it.

OMG. Talk about obtuse! You are totally making up an attitude that does.not.exist. The kids who go to JMU LOVE it - no one is embarrassed. Get over yourself. You seem to be a problematic person, making up these narratives that simply don't exist.
DP

Why are you being so defensive? I never said that kids who go to JMU don't love it. In fact, I know they do. I know a million kids who went to JMU and have no regrets. It's a great school.

What I said is that, for many kids who attend Yorktown/McLean/Langley, having their college acceptances top out at JMU is a disappointment AT THE TIME. We are talking about competitive high schools with pushy parents and high achieving kids, with many gunning for highly ranked colleges. Yes, in the end they will all discover that it doesn't really matter and that a few years down the road nobody will care where you went to college. But that's not what many kids and parents are thinking AT THE TIME.

I remain convinced that that is the primary driver behind OP's daughter not being "excited" about her college options. They're not instagram worthy. But, again, she'll get over it.

Sounds like miserable schools and parents.

Maybe. Maybe not. But you're clearly just another poster from outside the area who doesn't really understand the dynamics and can't really offer informed advice.

Apparently, the elitism among some students and families at these schools is deeply engrained.

Nice try, but no. The only people peddling this false narrative are those who don't even have kids there.

[Anonymous]

I am an NP whose son will be going to Indiana this Fall and I am happy to see so many other posters promoting it! We have zero connection to Indiana (and were a little nervous about it being a very red state) but after we visited, we fell in love! The campus has so many green spaces, very walkable and beautiful with the crimson and cream flowers everywhere - lots of school spirit with big sports programs (this was important to him), despite being in the Midwest - the weather is actually not bad (I lived in Chicago for school and thought all midwest weather was like that). I will second the fact that if she wants to do business - it may be tough or impossible (I think this was the first year they rejected some kids even as prebusiness meaning there is no path to Kelley). But she could always minor in business with another major that is business adjacent like Econ. Good luck!