Why don’t schools have stronger policies about redshirting?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Haven’t read the whole thread. OP, the answer is that only weirdos care about redshirting because it’s a non-issue. I assume this thread is full of the usual sheltered anti-redshirting hysterics, but in real life, this is not an issue.


The pro-redshirters are just as crazy.

Agree, though, that irl most people don't care. Outside of private schools that push for redshirting, even in high income areas, only a small portion of the students redshirt.

The people who claim otherwise--that their classrooms are full of Spring redshirters--are either mistaken or outliers.


On DCUM, no, the pro-redshirters are not nearly as crazy. I say that as someone who didn’t redshirt but has read these threads for years. There are occasional crazy redshirters, but they are dwarfed by the insane anti-redshirters. Those people are both nuts and weirdly unable to do math.

Agree nobody cares, though.


Eh, parents who want to redshirt normal, bright children are also the same people who probably had their panties in a bunch when their kid didn't take their first steps on the same day as the kid down the street. Have some faith in your kids.


Likewise, assume parents know their children best and are doing what they think is right. Have some faith, indeed.


It's hard having faith in redshirting parents after reading this thread. I can't decide which one of you is crazier. It's either the person who says they redshirt their kid because being an adult "sucks" and they want to prolong their kid's childhood or maybe it's the parent who said their preschool says she'd rather be traveling the world and practice her second language or maybe it's the person who says redshirting "gives the edge you need to become a champion" or perhaps it the person who said their kid is too smart to move on to the next grade or possibly it's the person who said it's necessary to be good at lacrosse, which is possibly the least competitive sport there is.


No, it’s just you. Obsessed with other people’s kids, assuming the worst intentions of others, gossiping, keeping track of birthdays, and constantly comparing. You never know what people are dealing with or why they do what they do.


The only kid I knew who was redshirted in K was the kid who used every occasion to announce how he was older and he was doing sports and Scouts and other activities with the kids in first grade. Over time, we learned of kids who had been redshirted but that was because my kid was invited to their birthday party and we learned the kid was turning 7 right after my kid turned 6.

For the most part, it doesn’t matter. The redshirted kids fit in fine with the other kids and no one really cares that much. But most of the kids that we know who were redshirted were kids born in August and September. The one kid who was announcing it to the world that he was older had some learning issues and it was decided it would be better for him to start late.

Most people who choose to redshirt do so for a good reason. Our very limited experience says that it doesn’t matter much.


The kids all know it too. Don't you guys remember being in high school and there were a few weird kids who were way too old for their grades on account of being "held back"? Weird to think now being older might make kids more popular but in the late 90s/early 2000s this definitely wasn't the case.


I was one of those kids. I was very self conscious about being older than everyone else. I hated it.


Times have changed, so too have cut offs because we know more now. There’s a reason it’s no longer 12/31 and pushing 4 yr olds into kindergarten. My DH was redshirted and thrived, but brother was one of those 4 yr olds kindergarteners and struggled all throughout school.


My sister too. She redshirted her August birthday kid without a second thought.


Me too. I entered K as a 4 year old and the social (not academic) deficits followed me through my school career.

I redshirted my summer kid with zero regrets. It’s worked out beautifully.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A 32 page thread for this issue? Again?

Why do people care about this issue so much? For background: I have 3 kids (none of whom are redshirted) but are all in the oldest half of their grade due to their birthdates. If I had a summer birthday kid, I definitely would’ve considered redshirting. Among people we know, it seems to be about 50/50 (redshirted vs non) for summer birthdays. I don’t know any kids with NON summer birthdays who are redshirted with the exception of one kid with a medical issue.

Why do people on DCUM care so much about this? Can someone explain to me how, exactly, this issue matters to you and/or your kid? I genuinely don’t understand it. The only argument I’ve heard is that it “having older kids in K increases expectations for everyone in K”….but unfortunately I think kindergarten is not ever going to back to “how it used to be” (and should be). As an individual parent, there is nothing one can do to change the K standards. To do so would require a huge campaign for change, and 95%+ parents simply do not care about this issue to bother (same as any other issue concerning public schools, it seems).



Because people feel their non-redshirted kid is getting overshadowed or would somehow rank high in their class, have that AAP spot, or be first string on varsity if it weren’t for all those redshirted kids. This isn’t true…but it’s how these specific parents here feel. Then there is a subset of the anti redshirt parents that have adult kids, that haven’t been in the elementary scene in decades (unless you count their grands) that feel “well back when my kids were in K…” and like to insert their irrelevant, dated opinion.


I don’t think it’s the hyper-competitive stuff (AAP, Varsity) that had people anxious. I think it’s that they know their kids are in competition with children whose parents have more resources than they do. A year of PreK, more tutors/coaches, more enrichment. They thought they were at one end of the bell curve and have found themselves in the middle or on the other side and it’s frightening.


+1 just like the parents in my neighborhood who thought they bought into a good school district only to get upset hearing some kids go to private
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Haven’t read the whole thread. OP, the answer is that only weirdos care about redshirting because it’s a non-issue. I assume this thread is full of the usual sheltered anti-redshirting hysterics, but in real life, this is not an issue.


The pro-redshirters are just as crazy.

Agree, though, that irl most people don't care. Outside of private schools that push for redshirting, even in high income areas, only a small portion of the students redshirt.

The people who claim otherwise--that their classrooms are full of Spring redshirters--are either mistaken or outliers.


On DCUM, no, the pro-redshirters are not nearly as crazy. I say that as someone who didn’t redshirt but has read these threads for years. There are occasional crazy redshirters, but they are dwarfed by the insane anti-redshirters. Those people are both nuts and weirdly unable to do math.

Agree nobody cares, though.


Eh, parents who want to redshirt normal, bright children are also the same people who probably had their panties in a bunch when their kid didn't take their first steps on the same day as the kid down the street. Have some faith in your kids.


Likewise, assume parents know their children best and are doing what they think is right. Have some faith, indeed.


It's hard having faith in redshirting parents after reading this thread. I can't decide which one of you is crazier. It's either the person who says they redshirt their kid because being an adult "sucks" and they want to prolong their kid's childhood or maybe it's the parent who said their preschool says she'd rather be traveling the world and practice her second language or maybe it's the person who says redshirting "gives the edge you need to become a champion" or perhaps it the person who said their kid is too smart to move on to the next grade or possibly it's the person who said it's necessary to be good at lacrosse, which is possibly the least competitive sport there is.


LOL
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A 32 page thread for this issue? Again?

Why do people care about this issue so much? For background: I have 3 kids (none of whom are redshirted) but are all in the oldest half of their grade due to their birthdates. If I had a summer birthday kid, I definitely would’ve considered redshirting. Among people we know, it seems to be about 50/50 (redshirted vs non) for summer birthdays. I don’t know any kids with NON summer birthdays who are redshirted with the exception of one kid with a medical issue.

Why do people on DCUM care so much about this? Can someone explain to me how, exactly, this issue matters to you and/or your kid? I genuinely don’t understand it. The only argument I’ve heard is that it “having older kids in K increases expectations for everyone in K”….but unfortunately I think kindergarten is not ever going to back to “how it used to be” (and should be). As an individual parent, there is nothing one can do to change the K standards. To do so would require a huge campaign for change, and 95%+ parents simply do not care about this issue to bother (same as any other issue concerning public schools, it seems).



Because people feel their non-redshirted kid is getting overshadowed or would somehow rank high in their class, have that AAP spot, or be first string on varsity if it weren’t for all those redshirted kids. This isn’t true…but it’s how these specific parents here feel. Then there is a subset of the anti redshirt parents that have adult kids, that haven’t been in the elementary scene in decades (unless you count their grands) that feel “well back when my kids were in K…” and like to insert their irrelevant, dated opinion.


I don’t think it’s the hyper-competitive stuff (AAP, Varsity) that had people anxious. I think it’s that they know their kids are in competition with children whose parents have more resources than they do. A year of PreK, more tutors/coaches, more enrichment. They thought they were at one end of the bell curve and have found themselves in the middle or on the other side and it’s frightening.


OP says in the first post that they would have redshirted too if she had known people in her school were redshirting Spring birthdays. It doesn't sound like they have less resources than other parents in their local school.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:A 32 page thread for this issue? Again?

Why do people care about this issue so much? For background: I have 3 kids (none of whom are redshirted) but are all in the oldest half of their grade due to their birthdates. If I had a summer birthday kid, I definitely would’ve considered redshirting. Among people we know, it seems to be about 50/50 (redshirted vs non) for summer birthdays. I don’t know any kids with NON summer birthdays who are redshirted with the exception of one kid with a medical issue.

Why do people on DCUM care so much about this? Can someone explain to me how, exactly, this issue matters to you and/or your kid? I genuinely don’t understand it. The only argument I’ve heard is that it “having older kids in K increases expectations for everyone in K”….but unfortunately I think kindergarten is not ever going to back to “how it used to be” (and should be). As an individual parent, there is nothing one can do to change the K standards. To do so would require a huge campaign for change, and 95%+ parents simply do not care about this issue to bother (same as any other issue concerning public schools, it seems).



I think it's basically an old wives' tale. People have somehow convinced themselves that redshirting is an advantage (it's generally not), and if other people are doing it, then they want to do it too or they get FOMO. I dont think there's anything more to it than that.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A 32 page thread for this issue? Again?

Why do people care about this issue so much? For background: I have 3 kids (none of whom are redshirted) but are all in the oldest half of their grade due to their birthdates. If I had a summer birthday kid, I definitely would’ve considered redshirting. Among people we know, it seems to be about 50/50 (redshirted vs non) for summer birthdays. I don’t know any kids with NON summer birthdays who are redshirted with the exception of one kid with a medical issue.

Why do people on DCUM care so much about this? Can someone explain to me how, exactly, this issue matters to you and/or your kid? I genuinely don’t understand it. The only argument I’ve heard is that it “having older kids in K increases expectations for everyone in K”….but unfortunately I think kindergarten is not ever going to back to “how it used to be” (and should be). As an individual parent, there is nothing one can do to change the K standards. To do so would require a huge campaign for change, and 95%+ parents simply do not care about this issue to bother (same as any other issue concerning public schools, it seems).



Because people feel their non-redshirted kid is getting overshadowed or would somehow rank high in their class, have that AAP spot, or be first string on varsity if it weren’t for all those redshirted kids. This isn’t true…but it’s how these specific parents here feel. Then there is a subset of the anti redshirt parents that have adult kids, that haven’t been in the elementary scene in decades (unless you count their grands) that feel “well back when my kids were in K…” and like to insert their irrelevant, dated opinion.


I don’t think it’s the hyper-competitive stuff (AAP, Varsity) that had people anxious. I think it’s that they know their kids are in competition with children whose parents have more resources than they do. A year of PreK, more tutors/coaches, more enrichment. They thought they were at one end of the bell curve and have found themselves in the middle or on the other side and it’s frightening.


OP says in the first post that they would have redshirted too if she had known people in her school were redshirting Spring birthdays. It doesn't sound like they have less resources than other parents in their local school.


I think that supports my point. The parents who *did* red shirt didn’t wait to see what other children were doing. Their decision was based on an optimal environment for their child, with no consideration of resources.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A 32 page thread for this issue? Again?

Why do people care about this issue so much? For background: I have 3 kids (none of whom are redshirted) but are all in the oldest half of their grade due to their birthdates. If I had a summer birthday kid, I definitely would’ve considered redshirting. Among people we know, it seems to be about 50/50 (redshirted vs non) for summer birthdays. I don’t know any kids with NON summer birthdays who are redshirted with the exception of one kid with a medical issue.

Why do people on DCUM care so much about this? Can someone explain to me how, exactly, this issue matters to you and/or your kid? I genuinely don’t understand it. The only argument I’ve heard is that it “having older kids in K increases expectations for everyone in K”….but unfortunately I think kindergarten is not ever going to back to “how it used to be” (and should be). As an individual parent, there is nothing one can do to change the K standards. To do so would require a huge campaign for change, and 95%+ parents simply do not care about this issue to bother (same as any other issue concerning public schools, it seems).



Because people feel their non-redshirted kid is getting overshadowed or would somehow rank high in their class, have that AAP spot, or be first string on varsity if it weren’t for all those redshirted kids. This isn’t true…but it’s how these specific parents here feel. Then there is a subset of the anti redshirt parents that have adult kids, that haven’t been in the elementary scene in decades (unless you count their grands) that feel “well back when my kids were in K…” and like to insert their irrelevant, dated opinion.


I don’t think it’s the hyper-competitive stuff (AAP, Varsity) that had people anxious. I think it’s that they know their kids are in competition with children whose parents have more resources than they do. A year of PreK, more tutors/coaches, more enrichment. They thought they were at one end of the bell curve and have found themselves in the middle or on the other side and it’s frightening.


OP says in the first post that they would have redshirted too if she had known people in her school were redshirting Spring birthdays. It doesn't sound like they have less resources than other parents in their local school.


I think that supports my point. The parents who *did* red shirt didn’t wait to see what other children were doing. Their decision was based on an optimal environment for their child, with no consideration of resources.


Her decision was based on what the majority of people were doing. To assume resources were a consideration, when it's never mentioned, is a stretch.

Parents who redshirt are concerned primarily about their kids fitting in socially. Sounds like OP was too.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A 32 page thread for this issue? Again?

Why do people care about this issue so much? For background: I have 3 kids (none of whom are redshirted) but are all in the oldest half of their grade due to their birthdates. If I had a summer birthday kid, I definitely would’ve considered redshirting. Among people we know, it seems to be about 50/50 (redshirted vs non) for summer birthdays. I don’t know any kids with NON summer birthdays who are redshirted with the exception of one kid with a medical issue.

Why do people on DCUM care so much about this? Can someone explain to me how, exactly, this issue matters to you and/or your kid? I genuinely don’t understand it. The only argument I’ve heard is that it “having older kids in K increases expectations for everyone in K”….but unfortunately I think kindergarten is not ever going to back to “how it used to be” (and should be). As an individual parent, there is nothing one can do to change the K standards. To do so would require a huge campaign for change, and 95%+ parents simply do not care about this issue to bother (same as any other issue concerning public schools, it seems).



Because people feel their non-redshirted kid is getting overshadowed or would somehow rank high in their class, have that AAP spot, or be first string on varsity if it weren’t for all those redshirted kids. This isn’t true…but it’s how these specific parents here feel. Then there is a subset of the anti redshirt parents that have adult kids, that haven’t been in the elementary scene in decades (unless you count their grands) that feel “well back when my kids were in K…” and like to insert their irrelevant, dated opinion.


I don’t think it’s the hyper-competitive stuff (AAP, Varsity) that had people anxious. I think it’s that they know their kids are in competition with children whose parents have more resources than they do. A year of PreK, more tutors/coaches, more enrichment. They thought they were at one end of the bell curve and have found themselves in the middle or on the other side and it’s frightening.


OP says in the first post that they would have redshirted too if she had known people in her school were redshirting Spring birthdays. It doesn't sound like they have less resources than other parents in their local school.


I think that supports my point. The parents who *did* red shirt didn’t wait to see what other children were doing. Their decision was based on an optimal environment for their child, with no consideration of resources.


Her decision was based on what the majority of people were doing. To assume resources were a consideration, when it's never mentioned, is a stretch.

Parents who redshirt are concerned primarily about their kids fitting in socially. Sounds like OP was too.


I think this is the dichotomy that creates problems. It's not so much redshirters v. non-redshirters. It's people who are angling for an advantage for their kids versus people who want a healthy childhood environment. I fall in the second camp and think it's both redshirters and non-redshirters who are seeking advantages who create the conflict.

The advantage seekers who redshirt do it specifically because they want their kids to be oldest, to be leaders, to have an edge in sports and academics if possible. The advantage seekers who don't redshirt feel threatened by this and freak out about it, and these people fight with each other.

On the other side, those of us who just want healthy educational environments don't fight with each other whether we redshirt or not, because we have the same goal -- a positive environment. My kid isn't redshirted but I don't have any issue with redshirted kids as long as the goal is for all the kids to get what they need in the classroom. All the redshirted kids I know are great (I only know a few) and positive additions to the classroom. I don't get the feeling their parents are trying to get them ahead, only that they were worried they weren't ready for K so held them back a year. NBD.

That first group will never be happy no matter what the rule is because they are all in competition with each other and all deeply insecure and everything is motivated by trying to get their kid to the front of the line. They are also the people who lose their minds over age cut offs in summer swim and other sports. They are crazy!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A 32 page thread for this issue? Again?

Why do people care about this issue so much? For background: I have 3 kids (none of whom are redshirted) but are all in the oldest half of their grade due to their birthdates. If I had a summer birthday kid, I definitely would’ve considered redshirting. Among people we know, it seems to be about 50/50 (redshirted vs non) for summer birthdays. I don’t know any kids with NON summer birthdays who are redshirted with the exception of one kid with a medical issue.

Why do people on DCUM care so much about this? Can someone explain to me how, exactly, this issue matters to you and/or your kid? I genuinely don’t understand it. The only argument I’ve heard is that it “having older kids in K increases expectations for everyone in K”….but unfortunately I think kindergarten is not ever going to back to “how it used to be” (and should be). As an individual parent, there is nothing one can do to change the K standards. To do so would require a huge campaign for change, and 95%+ parents simply do not care about this issue to bother (same as any other issue concerning public schools, it seems).



Because people feel their non-redshirted kid is getting overshadowed or would somehow rank high in their class, have that AAP spot, or be first string on varsity if it weren’t for all those redshirted kids. This isn’t true…but it’s how these specific parents here feel. Then there is a subset of the anti redshirt parents that have adult kids, that haven’t been in the elementary scene in decades (unless you count their grands) that feel “well back when my kids were in K…” and like to insert their irrelevant, dated opinion.



These old kids typically fall into two camps: high achievers who actually do experience the advantage of having a more mature brain, and low achievers who get thrown off balance by being placed with kids who are too young for them. The second camp is often kids who were redshirted for having issues that weren't properly addressed.

When your kid falls into the first camp, great! You become a rabid pro-redshirter. Unfortunately there are lot of kids in the second camp too, causing disruption for everyone in class, even for the other high achieving redshirted kids. People only see the benefits of redshirting when their own kid personally benefitted from it. But that doesn't mean there don't exist kids whose issues were exacerbated by redshirting. That is why people are saying not to use redshirting as a cure all. Use your head.


In every elementary classroom (at public schools anyway- can’t speak for private schools) there will be several kids with “behavioral issues” of some sort. Never seen otherwise x3 kids. I’ve never seen any correlation at all with the kids’ ages and who is and is not redshirted (and in elementary, often parents do have an idea of age/birthdate due to all of the birthday parties). And none of my own kids are redshirted.


Same. But candidly, the obsessed anti-redshirt parent are incapable of looking holistically like this.
Anonymous
Had no idea so many parents were obsessed with how old their kids are compared to other kids at their school. Seems kinda ridiculous.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A 32 page thread for this issue? Again?

Why do people care about this issue so much? For background: I have 3 kids (none of whom are redshirted) but are all in the oldest half of their grade due to their birthdates. If I had a summer birthday kid, I definitely would’ve considered redshirting. Among people we know, it seems to be about 50/50 (redshirted vs non) for summer birthdays. I don’t know any kids with NON summer birthdays who are redshirted with the exception of one kid with a medical issue.

Why do people on DCUM care so much about this? Can someone explain to me how, exactly, this issue matters to you and/or your kid? I genuinely don’t understand it. The only argument I’ve heard is that it “having older kids in K increases expectations for everyone in K”….but unfortunately I think kindergarten is not ever going to back to “how it used to be” (and should be). As an individual parent, there is nothing one can do to change the K standards. To do so would require a huge campaign for change, and 95%+ parents simply do not care about this issue to bother (same as any other issue concerning public schools, it seems).



Because people feel their non-redshirted kid is getting overshadowed or would somehow rank high in their class, have that AAP spot, or be first string on varsity if it weren’t for all those redshirted kids. This isn’t true…but it’s how these specific parents here feel. Then there is a subset of the anti redshirt parents that have adult kids, that haven’t been in the elementary scene in decades (unless you count their grands) that feel “well back when my kids were in K…” and like to insert their irrelevant, dated opinion.


I don’t think it’s the hyper-competitive stuff (AAP, Varsity) that had people anxious. I think it’s that they know their kids are in competition with children whose parents have more resources than they do. A year of PreK, more tutors/coaches, more enrichment. They thought they were at one end of the bell curve and have found themselves in the middle or on the other side and it’s frightening.


OP says in the first post that they would have redshirted too if she had known people in her school were redshirting Spring birthdays. It doesn't sound like they have less resources than other parents in their local school.


I think that supports my point. The parents who *did* red shirt didn’t wait to see what other children were doing. Their decision was based on an optimal environment for their child, with no consideration of resources.


Her decision was based on what the majority of people were doing. To assume resources were a consideration, when it's never mentioned, is a stretch.

Parents who redshirt are concerned primarily about their kids fitting in socially. Sounds like OP was too.


I think this is the dichotomy that creates problems. It's not so much redshirters v. non-redshirters. It's people who are angling for an advantage for their kids versus people who want a healthy childhood environment. I fall in the second camp and think it's both redshirters and non-redshirters who are seeking advantages who create the conflict.

The advantage seekers who redshirt do it specifically because they want their kids to be oldest, to be leaders, to have an edge in sports and academics if possible. The advantage seekers who don't redshirt feel threatened by this and freak out about it, and these people fight with each other.

On the other side, those of us who just want healthy educational environments don't fight with each other whether we redshirt or not, because we have the same goal -- a positive environment. My kid isn't redshirted but I don't have any issue with redshirted kids as long as the goal is for all the kids to get what they need in the classroom. All the redshirted kids I know are great (I only know a few) and positive additions to the classroom. I don't get the feeling their parents are trying to get them ahead, only that they were worried they weren't ready for K so held them back a year. NBD.

That first group will never be happy no matter what the rule is because they are all in competition with each other and all deeply insecure and everything is motivated by trying to get their kid to the front of the line. They are also the people who lose their minds over age cut offs in summer swim and other sports. They are crazy!


Insightful comment. I actually would add another group that’s a problem: the equality seekers who somehow believe redshirting gives an advantage.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A 32 page thread for this issue? Again?

Why do people care about this issue so much? For background: I have 3 kids (none of whom are redshirted) but are all in the oldest half of their grade due to their birthdates. If I had a summer birthday kid, I definitely would’ve considered redshirting. Among people we know, it seems to be about 50/50 (redshirted vs non) for summer birthdays. I don’t know any kids with NON summer birthdays who are redshirted with the exception of one kid with a medical issue.

Why do people on DCUM care so much about this? Can someone explain to me how, exactly, this issue matters to you and/or your kid? I genuinely don’t understand it. The only argument I’ve heard is that it “having older kids in K increases expectations for everyone in K”….but unfortunately I think kindergarten is not ever going to back to “how it used to be” (and should be). As an individual parent, there is nothing one can do to change the K standards. To do so would require a huge campaign for change, and 95%+ parents simply do not care about this issue to bother (same as any other issue concerning public schools, it seems).



Because people feel their non-redshirted kid is getting overshadowed or would somehow rank high in their class, have that AAP spot, or be first string on varsity if it weren’t for all those redshirted kids. This isn’t true…but it’s how these specific parents here feel. Then there is a subset of the anti redshirt parents that have adult kids, that haven’t been in the elementary scene in decades (unless you count their grands) that feel “well back when my kids were in K…” and like to insert their irrelevant, dated opinion.


I don’t think it’s the hyper-competitive stuff (AAP, Varsity) that had people anxious. I think it’s that they know their kids are in competition with children whose parents have more resources than they do. A year of PreK, more tutors/coaches, more enrichment. They thought they were at one end of the bell curve and have found themselves in the middle or on the other side and it’s frightening.


OP says in the first post that they would have redshirted too if she had known people in her school were redshirting Spring birthdays. It doesn't sound like they have less resources than other parents in their local school.


I think that supports my point. The parents who *did* red shirt didn’t wait to see what other children were doing. Their decision was based on an optimal environment for their child, with no consideration of resources.


Her decision was based on what the majority of people were doing. To assume resources were a consideration, when it's never mentioned, is a stretch.

Parents who redshirt are concerned primarily about their kids fitting in socially. Sounds like OP was too.


I think this is the dichotomy that creates problems. It's not so much redshirters v. non-redshirters. It's people who are angling for an advantage for their kids versus people who want a healthy childhood environment. I fall in the second camp and think it's both redshirters and non-redshirters who are seeking advantages who create the conflict.

The advantage seekers who redshirt do it specifically because they want their kids to be oldest, to be leaders, to have an edge in sports and academics if possible. The advantage seekers who don't redshirt feel threatened by this and freak out about it, and these people fight with each other.

On the other side, those of us who just want healthy educational environments don't fight with each other whether we redshirt or not, because we have the same goal -- a positive environment. My kid isn't redshirted but I don't have any issue with redshirted kids as long as the goal is for all the kids to get what they need in the classroom. All the redshirted kids I know are great (I only know a few) and positive additions to the classroom. I don't get the feeling their parents are trying to get them ahead, only that they were worried they weren't ready for K so held them back a year. NBD.

That first group will never be happy no matter what the rule is because they are all in competition with each other and all deeply insecure and everything is motivated by trying to get their kid to the front of the line. They are also the people who lose their minds over age cut offs in summer swim and other sports. They are crazy!


+1

And the saddest thing about this is: elementary school (and extracurriculars) should NOT be about competition in the first place! Kids learn at different paces, and sports should be for fun, socialization & exercise.
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Anonymous wrote:Had no idea so many parents were obsessed with how old their kids are compared to other kids at their school. Seems kinda ridiculous.


It really is bizarre.

I’m convinced these are the same parents that are obsessing about which reading level their kid is vs others, or who is “better” at their sport etc. In elementary school.

Why not just focus on your own child and how he/she is progressing and developing?
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Anonymous wrote:A 32 page thread for this issue? Again?

Why do people care about this issue so much? For background: I have 3 kids (none of whom are redshirted) but are all in the oldest half of their grade due to their birthdates. If I had a summer birthday kid, I definitely would’ve considered redshirting. Among people we know, it seems to be about 50/50 (redshirted vs non) for summer birthdays. I don’t know any kids with NON summer birthdays who are redshirted with the exception of one kid with a medical issue.

Why do people on DCUM care so much about this? Can someone explain to me how, exactly, this issue matters to you and/or your kid? I genuinely don’t understand it. The only argument I’ve heard is that it “having older kids in K increases expectations for everyone in K”….but unfortunately I think kindergarten is not ever going to back to “how it used to be” (and should be). As an individual parent, there is nothing one can do to change the K standards. To do so would require a huge campaign for change, and 95%+ parents simply do not care about this issue to bother (same as any other issue concerning public schools, it seems).



Because people feel their non-redshirted kid is getting overshadowed or would somehow rank high in their class, have that AAP spot, or be first string on varsity if it weren’t for all those redshirted kids. This isn’t true…but it’s how these specific parents here feel. Then there is a subset of the anti redshirt parents that have adult kids, that haven’t been in the elementary scene in decades (unless you count their grands) that feel “well back when my kids were in K…” and like to insert their irrelevant, dated opinion.


I don’t think it’s the hyper-competitive stuff (AAP, Varsity) that had people anxious. I think it’s that they know their kids are in competition with children whose parents have more resources than they do. A year of PreK, more tutors/coaches, more enrichment. They thought they were at one end of the bell curve and have found themselves in the middle or on the other side and it’s frightening.


OP says in the first post that they would have redshirted too if she had known people in her school were redshirting Spring birthdays. It doesn't sound like they have less resources than other parents in their local school.


I think that supports my point. The parents who *did* red shirt didn’t wait to see what other children were doing. Their decision was based on an optimal environment for their child, with no consideration of resources.


Her decision was based on what the majority of people were doing. To assume resources were a consideration, when it's never mentioned, is a stretch.

Parents who redshirt are concerned primarily about their kids fitting in socially. Sounds like OP was too.


I think this is the dichotomy that creates problems. It's not so much redshirters v. non-redshirters. It's people who are angling for an advantage for their kids versus people who want a healthy childhood environment. I fall in the second camp and think it's both redshirters and non-redshirters who are seeking advantages who create the conflict.

The advantage seekers who redshirt do it specifically because they want their kids to be oldest, to be leaders, to have an edge in sports and academics if possible. The advantage seekers who don't redshirt feel threatened by this and freak out about it, and these people fight with each other.

On the other side, those of us who just want healthy educational environments don't fight with each other whether we redshirt or not, because we have the same goal -- a positive environment. My kid isn't redshirted but I don't have any issue with redshirted kids as long as the goal is for all the kids to get what they need in the classroom. All the redshirted kids I know are great (I only know a few) and positive additions to the classroom. I don't get the feeling their parents are trying to get them ahead, only that they were worried they weren't ready for K so held them back a year. NBD.

That first group will never be happy no matter what the rule is because they are all in competition with each other and all deeply insecure and everything is motivated by trying to get their kid to the front of the line. They are also the people who lose their minds over age cut offs in summer swim and other sports. They are crazy!


+1

And the saddest thing about this is: elementary school (and extracurriculars) should NOT be about competition in the first place! Kids learn at different paces, and sports should be for fun, socialization & exercise.


PP here and I totally agree. I feel like I talk about this with my kids every few months. It's just life. There is always someone faster, smarter, better in some way than you. All you can do is focus on your own progress and work on the stuff that is important to you.
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Anonymous wrote:Haven’t read the whole thread. OP, the answer is that only weirdos care about redshirting because it’s a non-issue. I assume this thread is full of the usual sheltered anti-redshirting hysterics, but in real life, this is not an issue.


The pro-redshirters are just as crazy.

Agree, though, that irl most people don't care. Outside of private schools that push for redshirting, even in high income areas, only a small portion of the students redshirt.

The people who claim otherwise--that their classrooms are full of Spring redshirters--are either mistaken or outliers.


On DCUM, no, the pro-redshirters are not nearly as crazy. I say that as someone who didn’t redshirt but has read these threads for years. There are occasional crazy redshirters, but they are dwarfed by the insane anti-redshirters. Those people are both nuts and weirdly unable to do math.

Agree nobody cares, though.


Eh, parents who want to redshirt normal, bright children are also the same people who probably had their panties in a bunch when their kid didn't take their first steps on the same day as the kid down the street. Have some faith in your kids.


Likewise, assume parents know their children best and are doing what they think is right. Have some faith, indeed.


It's hard having faith in redshirting parents after reading this thread. I can't decide which one of you is crazier. It's either the person who says they redshirt their kid because being an adult "sucks" and they want to prolong their kid's childhood or maybe it's the parent who said their preschool says she'd rather be traveling the world and practice her second language or maybe it's the person who says redshirting "gives the edge you need to become a champion" or perhaps it the person who said their kid is too smart to move on to the next grade or possibly it's the person who said it's necessary to be good at lacrosse, which is possibly the least competitive sport there is.


No, it’s just you. Obsessed with other people’s kids, assuming the worst intentions of others, gossiping, keeping track of birthdays, and constantly comparing. You never know what people are dealing with or why they do what they do.


Have you not been paying attention? The redshirting people just told you why they do it. No one has the guess or assume anything. Also, let's not forget which group is tracking other children's birthdays. It's not the people who think redshirting is silly.


There are good reasons to redshirt (and generally the school will encourage it when those factors are present) but these threads are always full of crazy, competitive, angry redshirters who are like "you're just mad that you didn't think of it first!" People who redshirt for real, valid reasons don't have to "advocate" for the practice because no one is going to argue that a kid who, for instance, has motor skills delays or selective mutism should be forced to start K at 4 or just-turned 5.

The people who freak out about ANY criticism of redshirting are the people who genuinely just can't bear the thought of their son being the smallest boy in class, or who are using redshirting to make their kid popular (they'll say "confident" but confidence comes from within so that's not it).


DP here

Interesting that you mention selective mutism. Every child is different but selective mutism is not a delay, it's an anxiety disorder, and it's treatable. Without treatment you could wait years for it to go away on its own and then potentially face other mental health issues.

I would be concerned about deciding to redshirt based on this. My kid had selective mutism. We treated it in the preschool years. She was definitely ready for K on time and loved it. Holding her back a year would have been a huge disservice to her. I do recognize getting the treatment is really difficult and hard to find trained providers that take insurance but I'm not sure that redshirting solves anything and could cause harm.


PP here. My kid also had selective mutism in preschool which is why it's top of mind for me. We also did not redshirt, but instead worked with the school and it resolved towards the end of PK4 and into the beginning of K. But we were at an elementary school with integrated PK, so the problem was identified after she was already enrolled in her elementary school and we were able to work with the same people who would be handling it as she entered upper grades. But I can imagine a situation where a family is at a separate PK and wants to remain there until they see improvement. Since it does stem from anxiety, I could see being reluctant, for good reasons, to move a child dealing with that from a preschool environment that is at least familiar, to an elementary school that will be brand new. Especially when the added academic expectations of K are added on.

But yes, it's a very case by case situation and one I'd want to discuss with the school and our doctor and make a judgement call based on the nuances of the particular case. Which is why, even though we didn't redshirt our kid in that situation (also a summer birthday), I wouldn't judge other parents for doing so.

But that's so different than most of the reasons for redshirting on this thread, which seem to be more about trying to optimize a child's school experience from the first second in order to ensure they become a specific kind of student and adult -- popular, "a leader", dominant.


I agree that these are difficult choices and do not judge but I personally (not as an expert but as a parent with experience with this) don't think redshirting for selective mutism is something that should be recommended to families. It is a challenging situation for sure. Definitely the most challenging and painful part of my parenting journey and our child was later diagnosed with autism, which has been far less distressing for us and less acutely impairing for our child. So I have nothing but empathy for parents going through this.


This is a wild statement to make as a black-and-white, across-the-board recommendation. No nuance at all.


It's just my opinion based on my experience, as I said. I say it because I don't want people reading this to think they need to redshirt their kids because they have selective mutism. Do any experts recommend redshirting a kid for this?
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