People who loved their partners/spouses but cheated anyway

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop justifying your bad behavior and get a divorce. You don't love your spouse if you are cheating.

So you’ve never hurt someone you loved? Ever? It happens. People make mad decisions all the time. We’re imperfect. I’m not defending it but this refrain that all cheaters must not love their spouse just ignores that humans make mistakes.

+1

It’s not a “mistake” to sleep with someone else. It’s a series of many poor choices and lies told. It’s not one single act, it’s hundreds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, you guys over-think this. I love my wife very much, however, after the kids were born, she lost total interest in sex. I was in my prime (sexually) and had affairs just for the sex. As I’ve aged and my sex drive has somewhat diminished, I no longer cheat. I’m not a sociopath, or have emotional problems, I just enjoyed sex and my wife was not able to fulfill that need.

+10000 similar story for me but I’m a DW. I simply enjoy having sex.

For those in "dead bedrooms" here's how it works.
1. Talk to your spouse about sex. Are they okay with the amount you are having, or do they want more? Express you would like more but want it to be consensual. Is it possible to change circumstances to allow for each others' needs to be met?
2. If the answer is not interested, what about an open relationship?
3. If the answer to that is no, then talk about how this is an important need for you in a marriage and proceed to separation.

A lot of people fail at #1. If you have kids and you've never at least tried to plan a date night with a hotel booked, you have no standing to complain about your sex life.

Actually, my guess (I don’t actually know and neither do you, so we are both guessing) is that most people try #1 over and over again and get lots of promises and reassurance of change, but the change is either minimal or temporary or leaves you feeling terrible for you and your spouse since they didn’t really want to be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, you guys over-think this. I love my wife very much, however, after the kids were born, she lost total interest in sex. I was in my prime (sexually) and had affairs just for the sex. As I’ve aged and my sex drive has somewhat diminished, I no longer cheat. I’m not a sociopath, or have emotional problems, I just enjoyed sex and my wife was not able to fulfill that need.

+10000 similar story for me but I’m a DW. I simply enjoy having sex.

For those in "dead bedrooms" here's how it works.
1. Talk to your spouse about sex. Are they okay with the amount you are having, or do they want more? Express you would like more but want it to be consensual. Is it possible to change circumstances to allow for each others' needs to be met?
2. If the answer is not interested, what about an open relationship?
3. If the answer to that is no, then talk about how this is an important need for you in a marriage and proceed to separation.

A lot of people fail at #1. If you have kids and you've never at least tried to plan a date night with a hotel booked, you have no standing to complain about your sex life.

Actually, my guess (I don’t actually know and neither do you, so we are both guessing) is that most people try #1 over and over again and get lots of promises and reassurance of change, but the change is either minimal or temporary or leaves you feeling terrible for you and your spouse since they didn’t really want to be there.

Then you decide to leave. You don’t start f***ing random people and exposing your family to stds.