Dad in our friend group had a mental break and threatened to kill another child in the friend group, advice needed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You lost me at 15 families all being close friends with each other, all attending the same private school, which has multiple (!!!) bus stops in the same small neighborhood?

WTH.

OP said they built their house. So I’m thinking this is a community of homes all built at the same time (i.e. a bunch of families with young kids moved in at the same time). The proximity, being in the same stage of life, and looking to meet new neighbors all at once probably helped them form a built-in community.

And if the local schools are bad, but the families have money for new construction, they all likely had the same plan to purchase there and send their kids to the nearby private school. I can totally see all this happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he’s an alcoholic with an anger problem. I would stay away from him as much as possible. Your options are limited here.

If he thinks he is getting messages from heaven that people are out to get him, he is delusional and paranoid.

The authorities are not going enough.

When the wife and or kids wind up dead, everyone will point fingers and wonder how this happened.

I am sorry that this is happening, but I could not just put it out of my mind. Those children are in danger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he’s an alcoholic with an anger problem. I would stay away from him as much as possible. Your options are limited here.

If he thinks he is getting messages from heaven that people are out to get him, he is delusional and paranoid.

The authorities are not going enough.

When the wife and or kids wind up dead, everyone will point fingers and wonder how this happened.

I am sorry that this is happening, but I could not just put it out of my mind. Those children are in danger.

So what would you do? Police have been called multiple times by multiple people. CPS has been called multiple times by multiple people. School has been made aware (all the way up to the head of school) by multiple people. What else would you do to help the kids?

[Anonymous]

Get a Ring security system with cameras and put panic buttons in different rooms, keep driving your kids to school, cut off contact with the crazy dad’s family, and don’t let your kids wander the neighborhood alone. If the situation isn’t resolved soon, I would move away. As a PP said, the qualities that make the neighborhood desirable are history now, so what’s the point in staying? Rent your house to someone without kids; you can move back later if the crazy dad ceases to be a threat.

In the unlikely event his kids show up on your porch for help, do what you can to keep them safe. Obviously doing so could put your family at risk, so consider getting a gun (I say this as someone who hates guns.) I would definitely move after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he’s an alcoholic with an anger problem. I would stay away from him as much as possible. Your options are limited here.

If he thinks he is getting messages from heaven that people are out to get him, he is delusional and paranoid.

The authorities are not going enough.

When the wife and or kids wind up dead, everyone will point fingers and wonder how this happened.

I am sorry that this is happening, but I could not just put it out of my mind. Those children are in danger.

So what would you do? Police have been called multiple times by multiple people. CPS has been called multiple times by multiple people. School has been made aware (all the way up to the head of school) by multiple people. What else would you do to help the kids?

You mentioned one of the families has contact info for the grandparents. You should encourage them to contact the grandparents. They may be able to get their daughter and grandchildren into a safer situation.

[Anonymous]

Sounds bipolar

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he’s an alcoholic with an anger problem. I would stay away from him as much as possible. Your options are limited here.

If he thinks he is getting messages from heaven that people are out to get him, he is delusional and paranoid.

The authorities are not going enough.

When the wife and or kids wind up dead, everyone will point fingers and wonder how this happened.

I am sorry that this is happening, but I could not just put it out of my mind. Those children are in danger.

So what would you do? Police have been called multiple times by multiple people. CPS has been called multiple times by multiple people. School has been made aware (all the way up to the head of school) by multiple people. What else would you do to help the kids?

I would MOVE. This isn't rocket science. Even if they just rent for six months to start to get away from this insanity--he's likely to either blow his top or get treatment by then. Or both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:15 families in a neighborhood and everyone goes to the same small private school?! I call BS on that and that made it all ot easy to disregard the rest of the story. ALL MADE UP!

My first thought was religious school and they are evangelicals who don’t associate with normal people.

There are areas of the country where all the UMC people use private schools. I had friends that lived in a neighborhood in Shreveport and another in Jackson where this was true. It was a big issue for both of them as they didn’t really want to do private schools. Depending on the size of the community, I can easily see everyone in a neighborhood picking the same school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he’s an alcoholic with an anger problem. I would stay away from him as much as possible. Your options are limited here.

If he thinks he is getting messages from heaven that people are out to get him, he is delusional and paranoid.

The authorities are not going enough.

When the wife and or kids wind up dead, everyone will point fingers and wonder how this happened.

I am sorry that this is happening, but I could not just put it out of my mind. Those children are in danger.

Delusional, paranoid & schizophrenic.
The holy trinity of volatile disorders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he’s an alcoholic with an anger problem. I would stay away from him as much as possible. Your options are limited here.

If he thinks he is getting messages from heaven that people are out to get him, he is delusional and paranoid.

The authorities are not going enough.

When the wife and or kids wind up dead, everyone will point fingers and wonder how this happened.

I am sorry that this is happening, but I could not just put it out of my mind. Those children are in danger.

So what would you do? Police have been called multiple times by multiple people. CPS has been called multiple times by multiple people. School has been made aware (all the way up to the head of school) by multiple people. What else would you do to help the kids?

I would MOVE. This isn't rocket science. Even if they just rent for six months to start to get away from this insanity--he's likely to either blow his top or get treatment by then. Or both.

I asked what PP would do to help the kids. Us moving doesn't help them. I'm not saying helping them is my main motivation, because obviously my own family comes first, second, third, and fourth, but my question was what else would PP do to help the kids.

Could you really afford your mortgage plus a rental for six months?

[Anonymous]

I didn't even attend to read your book. Keep it brief.

[Anonymous]

I don't have any advice but that sounds terrifying. I believe your story. Ideally I think you would leave the neighborhood, which I know is complicated logistically and also "unfair." Short of that I liked the advice for security system and panic buttons.

Is the school able to do any extra security measures?

Also - to the people who post just to say that it took to long to read it ... please think about what that says about you. No one is forcing you to read it (or to post announcing that you didn't read it) but obviously some detail is necessary for this story so others appreciate the complexity involved. I think it took me no longer than 2 minutes to read it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he’s an alcoholic with an anger problem. I would stay away from him as much as possible. Your options are limited here.

If he thinks he is getting messages from heaven that people are out to get him, he is delusional and paranoid.

The authorities are not going enough.

When the wife and or kids wind up dead, everyone will point fingers and wonder how this happened.

I am sorry that this is happening, but I could not just put it out of my mind. Those children are in danger.

So what would you do? Police have been called multiple times by multiple people. CPS has been called multiple times by multiple people. School has been made aware (all the way up to the head of school) by multiple people. What else would you do to help the kids?

I would MOVE. This isn't rocket science. Even if they just rent for six months to start to get away from this insanity--he's likely to either blow his top or get treatment by then. Or both.

I asked what PP would do to help the kids. Us moving doesn't help them. I'm not saying helping them is my main motivation, because obviously my own family comes first, second, third, and fourth, but my question was what else would PP do to help the kids.

Could you really afford your mortgage plus a rental for six months?

In this situation, which I would consider an emergency significant enough to use emergency funds for it, yes.

There is nothing you can do for this man’s kids. Get out while you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was the child in almost this exact same situation. This post gave me chills; it literally could have been written about my dad and my life from 10-13yo.

I'm sorry PP. did your father have bipolar or schizophrenia? How was the rest of your childhood? I have an uncle who was like this so I watched a similar situation and I have a lot of sympathy for you.

[Anonymous]

I understand a lot of poster's reluctance to try to help but I wouldn't be able to live with myself without at least trying to do something. I would likely try to get some one on one time with the girls in a casual way, the next time they were over. I would explain to them all that they were welcome to come to our home literally at any time, day or night, and if they ever felt they were in danger to do so. I would probably give the oldest one a key or a code or some way to get in. I would also get an alarm system installed and a ring camera and some self defense things and have my own kids know how to get out of our house quickly and quietly and to a safe location.