Dad in our friend group had a mental break and threatened to kill another child in the friend group, advice needed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you a third party? Isn't much you can do. Tell the potential victim to get a retraining order.
Stay far away from that dad. I would never trust them again. Wouldn't want them in my house, yard, etc.

I'm sorry this is happening.

We are family of the friend group whose kids ride the bus. We were threatened in his text rants since he knows we disagree with his political views but he didn't come to our house or anything - only said in the text chain that he was going to kill us all. Parents of the child who was specifically mentioned are getting an RO when they return to town. The rest of us were advised that we could get them as well but we're not sure if we should.

[Anonymous]

Those parents are dangerous and negligent, so keep away. Maybe talk with CPS to give your account and possibly get advice. And let the girls know they are welcome in your home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a wild story. Why didn’t anybody call the cops when he was “ and the dad came to the door with a cocked gun in his hand, waving it around, and ranting that he was going to end it all, he had checked his life insurance policy”?

To answer your question, I could never get past that. I wouldn’t trust him or his wife. I feel bad for their children, but you have to think of your safety first. does he have any criminal records?

Sorry, to further explain, at the time he was doing this they were trying to get the children out of the house, so that was their focus. The dad got him to put the gun down, which the dad then took, and the mom was able to grab the girls and take them to her house. Then they called the cops again and told them what happened but since they had just been there they said they wouldn't come out again.

I have no idea if he has a criminal record but I'd assume not? He has a job and always had (at least, he's never said he's unemployed) and we're not aware of him ever having been arrested before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so bad that I would move, including switching schools to get away from this family. He’s clearly mentally unstable and might act on it at any moment. I wouldn’t risk my family’s lives no matter how convenient or how nice of a community you have built.

+1
If this is real, it's a tragedy waiting to happen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd ask Jeff to delete this. That's a lot of details.

But, you can't do anything in this scenario except protect your kids and your family. The proper authorities have been involved.

We're not in the area and they've never heard of this website.

My question is, what do you to protect your kids and family? Do you just cut them off forever? It makes me so sad for those girls but my husband wants to be done with them period and many other families feel the same. My girls love those kids so that makes me sad but I'm not going to put my family's safety as secondary so I guess I have no choice. I've never been put in this situation before.

[Anonymous]

Ain't first amendment great?

[Anonymous]

Assuming this story is true (honestly, it sounds like that show about a neighborhood of swingers), consider your friend group/neighborhood/social life to be over.

If you exclude this family, the dad will retaliate. If you don't, you're putting yourselves in danger. The only option is move.

[Anonymous]

Drive your kids straight to school and pick them up every day. You were threatened by a gun owner and we all have seen this play out, you're reaction is normal

[Anonymous]

Everything puts your family at risk. As awful as it sounds to turn away kids in need, If you allow those girls to come to your house, you put your entire family at risk. If you exclude them, you put your family at risk. If you are at The bus stop and his girls are there, you put your family at risk. There is virtually nothing safe.

Personally I’d be distancing myself and my family from this entire family. If others include them, I’d distance
Myself and my family from those events. Time may heal things but I wouldn’t count on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should not have called the police for a "welfare check", you should have called saying he has threatened you/someone with a gun.

You have the text - that is a threat
He has the ability to carry it out - picture of a gun.

That is against the law.

He gets arrested, is forced to get help.

I didn't call the police but another dad called because of his text threats and pictures of the gun but he was mostly concerned because the girls were in the house with a loaded gun sitting on the countertop. It might not have been termed a welfare check, I don't know since I didn't call. If I said the wrong thing I'm sorry.

And unfortunately while I agree with you that threatening someone in writing is a felony, the police seemed very nonchalant about it. We definitely would have thought especially after multiple calls that he would have been taken in but he was not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you have done what you can.

Although in my experience a CPS visit doesn’t look like multiple police cars showing up at night. But it’s possible that in your jurisdiction, that’s what it looks like.

I have no idea, all we saw were multiple police cars and cops milling about plus a woman with a clipboard in street clothes. I saw that on my way home but the mom has not told anyone that CPS has come, we only know they were called. Having never dealt with that I don't know what CPS calls look like, my only thought was that the cops were there because they knew he was armed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Proper authorities have been notified. Nothing else to do. But I would cut the family off since the wife clearly doesn't take this seriously.

Thanks. I told the one person talking to her to say that I would always help out if she needed it but otherwise we were keeping our distance. It makes me feel heartless but I'm also angry at her (although also understand she is a victim here as well).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so bad that I would move, including switching schools to get away from this family. He’s clearly mentally unstable and might act on it at any moment. I wouldn’t risk my family’s lives no matter how convenient or how nice of a community you have built.

I hear you, I do. But I can't imagine the 14 other families all moving. That's a huge ask. I'm not trying to underreact, but I don't know, this seems like a lot. I appreciate your perspective though.

[Anonymous]

Then call the state police. Call your local authorities if the police aren’t doing anything. Call your state congress people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In Maryland they could have his guns removed

Yes, unfortunately not in our state. We live in a liberal part of the state but the state overall is conservative.