Shocked at how many families in nice DMV neighborhoods are living in relatives' homes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never sell my house in MoCo. When we retire, I will keep the house and have one of my adult children live in it. Financially it doesn't make sense to sell.

Yep, we own multiple houses in FFX county and have set up a trust for our children to them take over.

We have told them that they can thank us by doing the same for their children.

I don't have any problem with this...but the flip side is your kids may have zero interest in one or more of those homes and it would be far, far easier if you sold those homes vs. passing them on.

I know far more people that are burdened with cleaning out and selling a "forever" home that the parents thought the kids wanted, but the kids never had any interest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I get what you are trying to say.

It is frustrating when you don't have that generational wealth. Money doesn't go as far and also more frustrations in childcare.

I don't envy others this position, but I do agree that they sometimes forget how much the rest of us must hustle/struggle.

I have lived all over the country and this is more predominant here than anywhere else I have lived.

I do agree that sometimes people like you assume or forget how much the rest of us struggled and went without and created our own wealth to afford that house in that neighborhood.

Well the OP is not talking about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if you are offended why are living there? By fact of living in an “upscale DMV neighborhood” you are part of the same human drive of striving and wealth accumulation.

This is the point of striving - getting an education, getting a high paying job, accumulating property - so that you can make life easier for your kids and pass on wealth/property.

This. We're doing all this for our kids. An "upscale DMV neighborhood" isn't the place for OP if she wants to avoid this.

My spouse and I judge toys we want to buy by thinking about putting that money away for our kids instead. I had moms in my not upscale neighborhood make fun of my not expensive purse. I could buy a birkin but never will. That money is going to my kids. How outraged are you op that spouse and I live below our means so we can leave money for our kids? I'm dying to know.

[Anonymous]

I'm one of those people. I grew up in a multi-generational household, moved away, had a family and then came back to raise my kids the same way. I'm sure people scoff at the idea, but I don't care. I'm glad my children really know their grand/great grandparents as I did, and that I don't have to drive 2hrs to the city everyday. I'm also glad I could be with them til their last days. I will pass this house with so much family history onto my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of feigned outrage in here. Looks like OP got under people’s skin. You seemed to have hit a nerve.

Hit that nerve that twangs when we have to deal with another spoiled entitled adult toddler. Maybe some of us who worked two or three jobs in our early years to save money to afford to live here are sick of her preciousness and entitlement. She is the awful people she is describing.

Doesn't sound like you're the person described in this thread - "families in nice DMV neighborhoods living in relatives' homes"

Put down your phone, sit on your lawn, and get some Vitamin D.

DP
I'd bet most people turned off by this OP are not who she is describing but it's still a whiny entitled post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if you are offended why are living there? By fact of living in an “upscale DMV neighborhood” you are part of the same human drive of striving and wealth accumulation.

This is the point of striving - getting an education, getting a high paying job, accumulating property - so that you can make life easier for your kids and pass on wealth/property.

This. We're doing all this for our kids. An "upscale DMV neighborhood" isn't the place for OP if she wants to avoid this.

My spouse and I judge toys we want to buy by thinking about putting that money away for our kids instead. I had moms in my not upscale neighborhood make fun of my not expensive purse. I could buy a birkin but never will. That money is going to my kids. How outraged are you op that spouse and I live below our means so we can leave money for our kids? I'm dying to know.

Different poster...but I never understand why folks post this as some weird flex.

Nobody who really has any money goes through these weird mental gymnastics. You and your spouse sit around thinking about buying something that you apparently want, but you don't buy it because you are going to leave an extra couple of grand to the kids?

You sound as poor as the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm one of those people. I grew up in a multi-generational household, moved away, had a family and then came back to raise my kids the same way. I'm sure people scoff at the idea, but I don't care. I'm glad my children really know their grand/great grandparents as I did, and that I don't have to drive 2hrs to the city everyday. I'm also glad I could be with them til their last days. I will pass this house with so much family history onto my kids.

Apparently, every baby needs a wealth and community reset button to make their own path

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meritocracy is out and inheritance is in is the message from OP.

OP is just jealous and doesn’t seem to have a clue about how the world works.

I disagree.
She is answering the frequently asked question of “how are young people affording this crazy house prices.”

by having jobs, doing without, and saving money. She is a person who has never lived below her means because she is entitled to have all the nice things including other people's houses just because she is more special than others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meritocracy is out and inheritance is in is the message from OP.

OP is just jealous and doesn’t seem to have a clue about how the world works.

I disagree.
She is answering the frequently asked question of “how are young people affording this crazy house prices.”

I moved here in the early 80s and young couples couldn't afford anything more than a townhouse a long commute away or a condo you'd never make money on close in. We all had to wait to move up in our jobs to save money for the down payment. Once we got on the property ladder we were able to move up.


What type of house are you talking about affording op? Clearly you get to skip living in a townhouse 1.5 hours in rush from your house because you are more special than the rest of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The dream is to make it and then give your kids a better life than you had. Sounds like you’re getting there and shouldn’t be so resentful of those who were born lucky

Of course she will do this for her kids, but how dare anyone else do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our kid (only-child) just finished kindergarten at a school in an upscale DMV neighborhood.

We've met at least a dozen families at our school who are living in a childhood home or a living in a house own by an elderly parent/relative and "paying rent" (whatever that means)

Though extracurricular activities we've met other families with the same arrangements in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and upper NW DC. This is, in fact, pretty widespread.

So, if you're slogging away saving for that down payment, paying for child care and wondering "how do all these people do it????"....just know that this is one of the ways you're getting shut out. I'm honestly surprised at how widespread this is happening.

But when those parents/relatives die, the property becomes theirs anyway? So what's the concern?

We moved to this area from middle America and have no generational wealth so I can sort of relate to your "wow everyone is ahead of the race and we worked so hard to get here" sentiment. However, just remember that everyone is trying to provide a better (or the equivalent) life for their kids compared to the childhood they had. That bar is a lot higher for these families who have had parental help in housing or private schools, they are trying to do that for their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone missed the point that it’s a sign of how unaffordable housing is and that much of what you might think is people affording homes is actually an illusion.

Yep. Welcome to America in 2024.

It feels like a sci-fi thriller where none of the victims understand what’s happening around them.

Victims? Really? You are really letting us see who you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kid (only-child) just finished kindergarten at a school in an upscale DMV neighborhood.

We've met at least a dozen families at our school who are living in a childhood home or a living in a house own by an elderly parent/relative and "paying rent" (whatever that means)

Though extracurricular activities we've met other families with the same arrangements in Chevy Chase, Bethesda, and upper NW DC. This is, in fact, pretty widespread.

So, if you're slogging away saving for that down payment, paying for child care and wondering "how do all these people do it????"....just know that this is one of the ways you're getting shut out. I'm honestly surprised at how widespread this is happening.

Yep, my friend moved into her DH's childhood home. The parents helped their son out and provide her/DH free babysitting to take trips. I'm so jealous. They really have the perfect set up.

NO! Stop. How wrong of them. How utterly horribly wrong of them and unfair to you. It is so unfair to you.
/s

[Anonymous]

Yeah, you don't want to live in the wealthier neighborhoods here if you want to avoid this scenario.

Even In my 600k neighborhood, one of our neighbors is raising their family in their mom's old house. Mom lives not too far away in a new house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not surprised those who participate in this kind of arrangement jump to defend it. Entitled people tend to not see or care about the larger macro issues here - this directly contributes to shortage of housing supply which continues to drive up prices, making it all the more unaffordable for those who do not come from generational wealth.

This is why certain neighborhoods in DC and around - many already identified here like CCDC and CCMD - are insufferable. Full of old boomers and their entitled children.

Wait, so you think they should sell the family home, send the elders to a nursing home and the young family to an apartment across town where they will rarely see Grandma, all so you can buy their family home? Who's entitled here?

And how does this family living in one home instead of two create a housing shortage?

If we are talking about CCDC and CCMD PP is referring to people who own more than one house, and instead of selling, they give the other house to their kids for free or subsidized “rent.” Intergenerational living is another matter and quite rare in these wealthy, predominantly white DC neighborhoods. More common in Asian families.

I live in CCMD in a desirable school district and two families are like this. There was a house that for many years was basically abandoned. Owned by an older couple in CCDC who are wealthy enough to not have to sell. Eventually they fixed it up and gave it to the kids to live in. The other house was given to adult children after parents decided to downsize and moved into an expensive condo in FH. So yes, situations like this contribute to the low supply esp in good school districts. Properties stay in the same family as opposed to going on the market and allowing new families to enter - some of which will be like OP who get no parental help, others buy with help.

Wrong and it's amazing you can't see how ridiculous your logic is. There is a housing shortage for their children too but, nope, you're more entitled to their home than their children. Go outside, stomp your fit, ball up your fists, throw yourself on the ground and have a good cry. Maybe someone will come along and give you milk and cookies.

Agreed. This isn't a situation where a house is demolished, or converted into four 1 BR condos. A family lives in that house, just like it did before, and just like it would if it were up for sale. But since the family that lives there didn't pay full price for it, it somehow diminishes the housing supply in good school districts? Makes no sense.