When your spouse buys the cheap stuff but eats the good stuff

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Write your name on the things you want. My husband said I needed to do that once when I brought back half a pizza from a dinner out with friends because he didn't know he wasn't allowed to eat everything in our house. I had been planning to eat the remaining half for lunch but when I went to get it, he had already eaten it. Another time I bought a specific kind of cracker to go with a specific kind of cheese that I wanted to have at some point during the week. When I went into the pantry, the crackers were all gone because he had eaten them. So now I do literally write my name on the items that I have purchased for myself and that I plan to eat. My husband isn't a jerk like yours - he didn't argue with me when I expressed frustrating at him having eaten something I had planned to eat myself - so maybe that won't work in your case.

We tried this....my adult daughter still living with us buys all her own groceries (except for when she eats dinner with us she will eat what I have made), and usually puts her name on the bottle of specific condiments, baking mixes, etc (some of which is gluten free) to protect it from her ravenous teen siblings, but my husband gets offended. "Oh I guess I'm not allowed to eat her food even though she eats ours?"

What a dip$hit comment your H made.

No he can’t have any. It’s not like he’s going to go out asap after he depletes her food and buy the same exact thing to replace it. Meal planning is more than just eating what you see out.

Men are trash.

I'm fully convinced that no more than 20% of men are actually mature enough to have a family. Ask yourself why the patriarchy was enforced for so long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please please hide your food and report back. I need to know if he’ll eat the gross apples and beer and/or mention anything.

Same. I’m invested now OP! We need a part 2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Example 1: Apples. So many apples are disappointingly terrible - mushy, soft, flavorless, blech. One particular stand at the farmers market sells the best apples in the world. I try to buy some of these delicious apples every week, but I walk to the market and can't lug 20 pounds of apples home. DH goes to the grocery store and buys mealy Granny Smiths and Red Deliciouses, which would be fine if he ate them. But he doesn't eat them because they're bad. He eats all of the delicious farmers market apples instead. He brings several farmers market apples to work for his snack, he munches them on his commute, he ignores the bad apples, and then there are no good ones left.

Example 2: Beer. We like a beer from time to time. Now that I am past a certain age I don't want cheap, tasteless beer like Coors and Bud Light, so when I go to the store I buy beer that I like. When DH goes to the store, he buys whichever beer is cheapest. The problem is that he drinks all the good beer first and leaves the crappy beer behind. And when I want a beer, what's left? Coors.

Example 3: Salad dressing. I make a very good vinaigrette. Even kids eat salads with my vinaigrette! I don't love creamy dressings like ranch or Caesar, but that's OK because my vinaigrette is there in the fridge. Oh wait, no, it's not in the fridge! DH finished it today, even though he only managed to be home for 10 minutes and there was at least a cupful left yesterday. Maybe my vinaigrette is so good he drinks it straight.

When I say something like, "Please leave some of the good apples for me," he scoffs and says "I EAT AN APPLE A DAY." -- "I know you eat an apple a day, but can you save a couple of the good ones for me?" -- "HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO TELL APPLES APART? I EAT AN APPLE A DAY." -- "But you bought these Granny Smiths ... don't you want them?" - "I EAT AN APPLE A DAY. I GRAB AN APPLE. I EAT IT." -- "Can you save me one good apple?" -- "IT'S AN APPLE. GOD, YOU'RE OVERREACTING. CAN'T I EAT A GOOD APPLE? I DON'T DESERVE GOOD APPLES?"

I kind of hate him.

You grew up in a house with all girls huh? You probably had a cute doll house and had tea parties. 🥰.

Food not eaten within the half hour of you bringing it home is fair game when you have brothers.

No, some of us grew up with brothers, and are raising sons, in households where manners were taught and expected, even including — gasp! — for those who have a Y chromosome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's what no one has the heart to tell you:

He knows exactly what he's doing. He's playing a game of "What can I get away with? How can I nickle and dime this dummy and play the fool when she brings it up?" He's eating your apples deliberately and is perfectly capable of telling the difference. He gets a sadistic or selfish kick out of being the one in the household to eat all the "good stuff" and leave you with the junky stuff. He's a fundamentally selfish, anti-socially competitive person.

And deep down inside, you know this.

+ 1. And even if we give him the benefit of the doubt re: apples (hey, they're all red-pink spectrum after all), there is NO way in hell that the guy doesn't know the difference between the value of a Coors and the value of a good Belgian red-brown pint.

Regarding the bolded ^^^, the detail about racing through the shared dessert in a restaurant -- leaving you none -- confirms this. FFS, you're sitting right there 2 feet from his face -- do NOT let him claim "What? What? I didn't know you were enjoying it because you didn't spell it out for me and your half was disappearing more slowly than my side of the cake." He's a dick in sheep's clothing

DP

And his mother is the same way. Comes to “help” on maternity leave and eats all the gift foods from my friends and work they sent. Inventories all the cupboards and eats the nicest stuff first. Has the gall to say: Don’t want anything to go to waste! Eats 4-5x a day when staying with us but only 2x a day when we stay there.
The father snacks constantly, crumbs are everywhere he goes.
The make a game out of trying to never pay for groceries or meals out. And if it does come up they immediately say they do not want to split the meal, you get this one and they’ll get the next “thing”. Then proceed to order a glass of wine, salad, steak dinner, dessert. The next day they’ll spot an ice cream stand and say it’s their turn to buy the kids a cone!

It’s like some greedy sport to them. And they have $3m in the bank in rental properties.

They sound insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And start splitting every food or meal or outing expense. Two credit cards for a bill is. Or difficult for anyone.

This. Tell the server when they greet you that it’s two tickets and point out who’s on each.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:File under “things I did not know I had to be grateful for…”

IKR?! This thread is completely believable to me. DH has, like a PP described, eaten sweets that were clearly someone else's if they were still uneaten after 2 days ("I assumed you didn't want those homemade cookies, it's been DAYS!").

But this thread is off the charts. And I'm loving it.

It’s so piggish. They should be embarrassed, but they’re incapable of shame.

[Anonymous]

Your husband needs to buy what he also likes. Mine may occasionally not understand what I mean by certain oddball grocery list items but thankful to be married to a man who would never buy Coors Light.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:File under “things I did not know I had to be grateful for…”

+1

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the vinaigrette recipe!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:File under “things I did not know I had to be grateful for…”

IKR?! This thread is completely believable to me. DH has, like a PP described, eaten sweets that were clearly someone else's if they were still uneaten after 2 days ("I assumed you didn't want those homemade cookies, it's been DAYS!").

But this thread is off the charts. And I'm loving it.

I think some of this might be different household cultures. I have three teenagers, and cookies or leftovers that you didn’t eat for two days would be fair game here.

Lunch snacks are sacred though. They are an entirely different category of food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:File under “things I did not know I had to be grateful for…”

IKR?! This thread is completely believable to me. DH has, like a PP described, eaten sweets that were clearly someone else's if they were still uneaten after 2 days ("I assumed you didn't want those homemade cookies, it's been DAYS!").

But this thread is off the charts. And I'm loving it.

I think some of this might be different household cultures. I have three teenagers, and cookies or leftovers that you didn’t eat for two days would be fair game here.

Lunch snacks are sacred though. They are an entirely different category of food.

Agreed! DH just left for the weekend and his leftover Chipotle is in the fridge. It's completely fair game in my mind.

Individually wrapped lunch snacks? Absolutely everyone in my house knows that those are hands off. It's like grabbing a disposable bottle of water when you could have used a cup and the fridge filtered water. Wrapped snacks are meant for eating out of the house on outings and snacks for kids' schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In laws came for Thanksgiving and at the entire shelf of kids’ individually wrapped snacks for school Monday - Wed while we were at work and they were at home w the kids. Well H was working from home so should have helped out more. It was 3 months supply for 3 kids.

Meanwhile we had $600 of real food from Costco out in the house.

Maybe they felt shy/embarrassed to cook “real food”? So they ate snacks all day?

No. They also made a pie or cake or cookies each day. Didn’t like my turkey noodle soup so pureed it with cream (they don’t like soup with things or chunks in it! Must puree it!). And we had big bags of pretzels, taco chips, etc they still had to eat. They just don’t give a damn and want to use up everything. And don’t get me started on all the appliances or electronic feature that “suddenly stopped working.” Or broken class is fine in the garage and ask to go vacuum the area with the super vacuum as we have little kids. Silence every time we asked about something broken.

It’s like they got developmentally stunted at age 4

You left these people alone with your smalll children for three days?

And people think I’m crazy for hiring a stranger from care.com. At least I don’t go into it certain that they are inept caregivers and potentially dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In laws came for Thanksgiving and at the entire shelf of kids’ individually wrapped snacks for school Monday - Wed while we were at work and they were at home w the kids. Well H was working from home so should have helped out more. It was 3 months supply for 3 kids.

Meanwhile we had $600 of real food from Costco out in the house.

Maybe they felt shy/embarrassed to cook “real food”? So they ate snacks all day?

No. They also made a pie or cake or cookies each day. Didn’t like my turkey noodle soup so pureed it with cream (they don’t like soup with things or chunks in it! Must puree it!). And we had big bags of pretzels, taco chips, etc they still had to eat. They just don’t give a damn and want to use up everything. And don’t get me started on all the appliances or electronic feature that “suddenly stopped working.” Or broken class is fine in the garage and ask to go vacuum the area with the super vacuum as we have little kids. Silence every time we asked about something broken.

It’s like they got developmentally stunted at age 4

You left these people alone with your smalll children for three days?

And people think I’m crazy for hiring a stranger from care.com. At least I don’t go into it certain that they are inept caregivers and potentially dangerous.

Yes I know they are dangerous and clueless and have poor judgment. That’s another post.

My spouse was working from home that week and, while offended and an overall poor communicator himself, was given strict instructions not to dump them off alone anywhere in town or out. They decorated our tree- hence the various broken glass bulbs kept a secret why loose in the recycling bin, and I gave them she cookie recipes to make. They like crispy cookies biscuits so I had to remember to say underbake a few batches.

Kids are 8+ so they see the strangeness themselves now. The 8yo got really nailed, after two days of it she said she felt like she was babysitting her grandfather.

But everyone gained five pounds due to their sweet tooth habits. Go to brunch, they order the $30 steak and eggs, lattes and get a $6 muffin to go. This was MiL. On the way out she asked if anyone else wanted a muffin too, for later. Everyone was so sick of their over-eating (cuz you match it for awhile) that no one responded. We paid of course, can’t remember but no one said thank you, as usual. Bil came too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Red flags!

Red Delicious flags!

[Anonymous]

Your own fridge/freezer with a lock on it. And I am not kidding.