When your spouse buys the cheap stuff but eats the good stuff

[Anonymous]

Example 1: Apples. So many apples are disappointingly terrible - mushy, soft, flavorless, blech. One particular stand at the farmers market sells the best apples in the world. I try to buy some of these delicious apples every week, but I walk to the market and can't lug 20 pounds of apples home. DH goes to the grocery store and buys mealy Granny Smiths and Red Deliciouses, which would be fine if he ate them. But he doesn't eat them because they're bad. He eats all of the delicious farmers market apples instead. He brings several farmers market apples to work for his snack, he munches them on his commute, he ignores the bad apples, and then there are no good ones left.

Example 2: Beer. We like a beer from time to time. Now that I am past a certain age I don't want cheap, tasteless beer like Coors and Bud Light, so when I go to the store I buy beer that I like. When DH goes to the store, he buys whichever beer is cheapest. The problem is that he drinks all the good beer first and leaves the crappy beer behind. And when I want a beer, what's left? Coors.

Example 3: Salad dressing. I make a very good vinaigrette. Even kids eat salads with my vinaigrette! I don't love creamy dressings like ranch or Caesar, but that's OK because my vinaigrette is there in the fridge. Oh wait, no, it's not in the fridge! DH finished it today, even though he only managed to be home for 10 minutes and there was at least a cupful left yesterday. Maybe my vinaigrette is so good he drinks it straight.

When I say something like, "Please leave some of the good apples for me," he scoffs and says "I EAT AN APPLE A DAY." -- "I know you eat an apple a day, but can you save a couple of the good ones for me?" -- "HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO TELL APPLES APART? I EAT AN APPLE A DAY." -- "But you bought these Granny Smiths ... don't you want them?" - "I EAT AN APPLE A DAY. I GRAB AN APPLE. I EAT IT." -- "Can you save me one good apple?" -- "IT'S AN APPLE. GOD, YOU'RE OVERREACTING. CAN'T I EAT A GOOD APPLE? I DON'T DESERVE GOOD APPLES?"

I kind of hate him.

[Anonymous]

You each buy your own groceries. Some couples do this. Or you make a grocery list that includes brands of the items to purchase.

[Anonymous]

Just don't let him shop anymore or do a grocery order that he picks up.

[Anonymous]

I would just hide the good food from him from now on. Don’t you have a drawer or something? He sounds rude.

[Anonymous]

The problem isn't what he eats, the problem is what he buys. Tell him what to buy.

Or, hide stuff. If he is like my DH it should be easy to do.

[Anonymous]

I almost feel like this has to be a troll. What person in their right mind buys red delicious apples?

[Anonymous]

Drive to the farmers market and buy 20lb of apples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Example 1: Apples. So many apples are disappointingly terrible - mushy, soft, flavorless, blech. One particular stand at the farmers market sells the best apples in the world. I try to buy some of these delicious apples every week, but I walk to the market and can't lug 20 pounds of apples home. DH goes to the grocery store and buys mealy Granny Smiths and Red Deliciouses, which would be fine if he ate them. But he doesn't eat them because they're bad. He eats all of the delicious farmers market apples instead. He brings several farmers market apples to work for his snack, he munches them on his commute, he ignores the bad apples, and then there are no good ones left.

Example 2: Beer. We like a beer from time to time. Now that I am past a certain age I don't want cheap, tasteless beer like Coors and Bud Light, so when I go to the store I buy beer that I like. When DH goes to the store, he buys whichever beer is cheapest. The problem is that he drinks all the good beer first and leaves the crappy beer behind. And when I want a beer, what's left? Coors.

Example 3: Salad dressing. I make a very good vinaigrette. Even kids eat salads with my vinaigrette! I don't love creamy dressings like ranch or Caesar, but that's OK because my vinaigrette is there in the fridge. Oh wait, no, it's not in the fridge! DH finished it today, even though he only managed to be home for 10 minutes and there was at least a cupful left yesterday. Maybe my vinaigrette is so good he drinks it straight.

When I say something like, "Please leave some of the good apples for me," he scoffs and says "I EAT AN APPLE A DAY." -- "I know you eat an apple a day, but can you save a couple of the good ones for me?" -- "HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO TELL APPLES APART? I EAT AN APPLE A DAY." -- "But you bought these Granny Smiths ... don't you want them?" - "I EAT AN APPLE A DAY. I GRAB AN APPLE. I EAT IT." -- "Can you save me one good apple?" -- "IT'S AN APPLE. GOD, YOU'RE OVERREACTING. CAN'T I EAT A GOOD APPLE? I DON'T DESERVE GOOD APPLES?"

I kind of hate him.

Order grocery delivery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I almost feel like this has to be a troll. What person in their right mind buys red delicious apples?

I suspect that is why OP is so frustrated!

[Anonymous]

Is it really that difficult to double whatever you make or buy so there’s enough to share?

[Anonymous]

Red flags!

[Anonymous]

He's inconsiderate and cheap to boot. Not a good combo.

We have two fridges in our house. One in the kitchen and one in the basement. Stuff in the basement fridge often get overlooked until things run out in the kitchen. If you have an extra fridge, put your stuff there.

You can find decent apples at the supermarket. Tell him to buy fuji instead. If he persists, definitely hide your good stuff.

[Anonymous]

Teach him to buy pink ladies at the grocery store instead of red delicious. Or drive to the farm market so you can carry more. Or buy a wagon. Or take husband with you to market. Or100 other ways to solve this problem instead of berating husband for eating apples.

[Anonymous]

Hide the good apples this week. Report back and tell us if he ate his crap apples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I almost feel like this has to be a troll. What person in their right mind buys red delicious apples?

He mumbled "pie" when I asked him why he bought red delicious, but there was no pie. He's just cheap and on auto-pilot 99.9% of the time.

At restaurants normal couples share meals and desserts, but we can't because it becomes an eating race. No, he was not food insecure growing up. He had a stable, UMC upbringing.

I wish I were a troll but we literally just fought over apples. It's almost as if the apples represent something more troubling in our relationship. I don't want to have to hide the good apples in my house!

- OP