How to handle? Tough-to-coach kid with a family tragedy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would cut her and sleep like a baby. Everyone has stuff they are going through. If there is a standard and she doesn't meet it then she should be cut. If there is some discretion then you can be kind. But it's fine if the kid gets cut. Sometimes you get dealt a bad hand.

Yeah. It's not ok to make everyone suffer to make one person who sounds toxic and disruptive, to avoid facing reality. Cutting her from the team is not killing her. So coach should do what is best for the team.

Make everyone suffer? These are not a bunch of Michael Jordans. They are 11 year olds guaranteed that most of them play like 11 year olds. So dramatic.

tbh, this a good point of clarification.

OP says its a competitive team. Many posters are reacting as if its rec.

Bc at 11, on a competitive travel team, there are going to be VERY talented players. If its a good team, they won't be playing like 11 year olds. They could be playing good enough to beat some JV HS teams.

That matters. Bc if you add the girl, and she just sucks for 4 months, that's not much of a kindness

It's not a competitive team, it's a team coached by dad (so at least one of the players is there due to nepotism) who thinks he is going to turn it into a competitive team this year. There are some adults with big egos that are turning kids sports into toxic environments.

The wives with Ivy recruitment fantasies for their DC are the worst.

[Anonymous]

Does it really matter if there are 13 kids instead of 12?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t cut this kid. Please.

[Anonymous]

So which other more talented kid do you cut? They sit out the season team less, thinking they are worse than the untalented kid? And you let the lesser skilled kid think she is good, only to be cut next year?

Being dishonest helps noone

[Anonymous]

Cut her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does it really matter if there are 13 kids instead of 12?

This is what I would do. Who cares if there’s an extra kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:6th graders? I’ve yet to see a team at this age group- no matter how elite- that is entirely merit based. Ever. With teams this age, there are pretty much always some kids who are kept around for other reasons “they’ve always been on the team” “but her dad coaches!” “his older brother is a really good player…he will come around” “they are our neighbors!” “she’s short now but she’s going to be tall- look at her parents” “she’s best friends with my kid” etc etc etc

Cut the girl if you really want to, but FFS at least be honest with yourself. Kids this age get roster spots all.the.time. due to external factors. It is absolutely hilarious that anyone would pretend otherwise. As far as external factors go, the recent death of a parent seems as good as any other.

And yes- if it were me, I’d keep the girl on the team this year. Not even a question.

This is so true. Just pretend it’s because she’s your neighbor or your child’s best friend or the not nearly as talented twin of the best player or her Dad coaches a different sport and you want your daughter to also be on that team. Those connections get “uncoachable” kids on teams all the time.

This time there’s just no external benefit for you or your daughter.

This

[Anonymous]

I would cut her but offer her another role on the team. Water girl, coordinator or something.

Thee are kids who are uncoachable, they turn into uncoachable adults. I've come across plenty of people who couldn't be trained or coached in my career. Where do you think it starts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would cut her but offer her another role on the team. Water girl, coordinator or something.

Thee are kids who are uncoachable, they turn into uncoachable adults. I've come across plenty of people who couldn't be trained or coached in my career. Where do you think it starts?

Separate from op's situation, labeling a kid as uncoachable and throwing up your hands is nuts. People grow and change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So which other more talented kid do you cut? They sit out the season team less, thinking they are worse than the untalented kid? And you let the lesser skilled kid think she is good, only to be cut next year?

Being dishonest helps noone

Or they try out for another team, or they pick another sport.

Being cut is part of the sports experience for kids who are serious athletes, it's part of what makes them grow and mature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's youth sports with 11 year olds. Unless these kids are training for the Olympics you don't cut this kid. Other deserving kid can find a spot on a different team. JFC - this is not hard.

+1. Perspective, OP, perspective.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:6th graders? I’ve yet to see a team at this age group- no matter how elite- that is entirely merit based. Ever. With teams this age, there are pretty much always some kids who are kept around for other reasons “they’ve always been on the team” “but her dad coaches!” “his older brother is a really good player…he will come around” “they are our neighbors!” “she’s short now but she’s going to be tall- look at her parents” “she’s best friends with my kid” etc etc etc

Cut the girl if you really want to, but FFS at least be honest with yourself. Kids this age get roster spots all.the.time. due to external factors. It is absolutely hilarious that anyone would pretend otherwise. As far as external factors go, the recent death of a parent seems as good as any other.

And yes- if it were me, I’d keep the girl on the team this year. Not even a question.

This is so true. Just pretend it’s because she’s your neighbor or your child’s best friend or the not nearly as talented twin of the best player or her Dad coaches a different sport and you want your daughter to also be on that team. Those connections get “uncoachable” kids on teams all the time.

This time there’s just no external benefit for you or your daughter.

This

Yup. The idea that team cuts, especially at that age, are made solely on the basis of talent is laughable. Among all the various reasons less-talented kids get on teams, this one may be the most defensible I’ve heard. It’s better than “her dad knows the coach” or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does it really matter if there are 13 kids instead of 12?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does it really matter if there are 13 kids instead of 12?

+1

Honestly. Just add her to the roster and then if she’s truly so much more horrible than the other kids (unlikely) give her some assistant coach/manager job that means she is on the court less. There should be no cut sports at this age, and it’s not tryouts for the national team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:6th graders? I’ve yet to see a team at this age group- no matter how elite- that is entirely merit based. Ever. With teams this age, there are pretty much always some kids who are kept around for other reasons “they’ve always been on the team” “but her dad coaches!” “his older brother is a really good player…he will come around” “they are our neighbors!” “she’s short now but she’s going to be tall- look at her parents” “she’s best friends with my kid” etc etc etc

Cut the girl if you really want to, but FFS at least be honest with yourself. Kids this age get roster spots all.the.time. due to external factors. It is absolutely hilarious that anyone would pretend otherwise. As far as external factors go, the recent death of a parent seems as good as any other.

And yes- if it were me, I’d keep the girl on the team this year. Not even a question.

This is so true. Just pretend it’s because she’s your neighbor or your child’s best friend or the not nearly as talented twin of the best player or her Dad coaches a different sport and you want your daughter to also be on that team. Those connections get “uncoachable” kids on teams all the time.

This time there’s just no external benefit for you or your daughter.

This

Yup. The idea that team cuts, especially at that age, are made solely on the basis of talent is laughable. Among all the various reasons less-talented kids get on teams, this one may be the most defensible I’ve heard. It’s better than “her dad knows the coach” or whatever.

+1