DS given melatonin gummies as prank by “friends at sleepover

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry OP. Like most of the PPs, I think you have to call the parents and pull your son from the soccer team. These are not your son's friends, so no loss to him. And hopefully their parents will make sure they appreciate how dangerous this stunt was and make sure they never do anything like this again.

I would also reach out to the school, even though this didn't happen on their watch and they're not responsible. The counselors have seen and dealt with A LOT. Especially if it's a small private (but even if it's a big public) they will have good instincts and intel.

Kids do stupid things. That's why adults matter. Give the parents a chance to make sure their kids don't do more stupid things. Maybe they'll rise to the occasion, maybe they won't, but their kids may do worse unless. until someone intervenes.

And on the off chance you're in MoCo and your kid is a rising freshman, I know an MSI classics team with an amazing soccer coach that's looking to add to its roster. We lucked into this team and I've sometimes thought it's the best thing that ever happened to my kid.

+1. As a secondary teacher, please tell the school with details. They need to be aware and be able to protect him; for example maybe they can be in different classes next year.

I also second the guidance from another poster of having him speak with a counselor. It's concerning to me that he wanted to go to practice and act like nothing happened. He can't pursue friendship with these boys anymore. They are cruel and do not value him. But he needs to see that, and his self worth, and stand up for himself. I am so sorry this is happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would actually contact the parents to confirm that it was “just” melatonin. He was given drug laced gummies and later told it was melatonin but how do you actually know it wasn’t something else.

OP said he had a drug test at urgent care.

[Anonymous]

OP—we need an update. What’s your thinking about next steps?

[Anonymous]

NP. Please, OP, please start by telling the parent hosts and the team coach. The coach is not responsible, but should know why you are leaving the team, effective immediately.

I don’t care the melatonin is “usually harmless” – your son was intentionally drugged. I would like to believe these boys did not consider that your son could have had an adverse reaction, but they need to be educated quickly. If it was a girl, there would be no question about their intention. Nobody would laugh it off as “just a joke.”

I would explain to your son that you must alert the other parents, but you want to give him cover – “I was so out of it, they brought me to urgent care and drug tested me” is the truth and that’s how you’re going to explain it to the other parents. He can be indignant, he can be furious that you’re “making a big deal” of it. But this could have gone a very different way and is too serious to let slide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in the age where one gummy, laced with fentanyl is killing kids. One and done. Although that’s not the situation here, there is a connection and these kids need to be educated. What these kids did is wrong on so many levels. Their parents absolutely need to know so they can educate them of the dangers of giving someone a substance/supplement without their knowledge, and how it could have dire consequences.

+1

[Anonymous]

TLDR the entire thread but I don't understand how you haven't already called the parents AND the Coach AND the soccer organization. I would absolutely go as far as threatening to report to the police AND threaten to go to small claims court for medical expenses. These are NOT friends.

[Anonymous]

I think the vast majority of these responses tell you everything you need to know OP. What happened was egregious and dangerous and there needs to be accountability.

[Anonymous]

I would also want to know and if my DS was involved, he would be off the team. I would also make him volunteer somewhere in those hours he is no longer doing practice, somewhere to learn compassion.

[Anonymous]

Im surprised the urgent care didnt report it to the police. Did you tell them the truth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have socially awkward teen desperate for friends so I understand.

Bare minimum is that he need to get off that soccer team and find another one. He’s not safe around those kids and should never be around them.

If you can do that then I might consider not contacting the other parents.

Ugh…

He has practice tomorrow and has told me he’s going to pretend it didn’t happen. I haven’t gotten a chance to really talk to DH about it but I do think we are done with this soccer team.

He’s played since he was 6 but this is a newer team he started in last year.

What? Do not send him to practice until you have figured out your response (eg, is he staying on the team? If not, why woukd he ever go back?) and talked to the host parents if not others. Sending him to practice is conceding this was NBD.

We aren’t sending him to soccer.

He’s upset and embarrassed by the entire situation. Yes, he knows it’s not his fault but he is hurt. I don’t want to hurt him more.

We are contacting parents and have gotten mixed reactions. But most likely no soccer this summer. Finding an alternative that will make DS happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have socially awkward teen desperate for friends so I understand.

Bare minimum is that he need to get off that soccer team and find another one. He’s not safe around those kids and should never be around them.

If you can do that then I might consider not contacting the other parents.

Ugh…

He has practice tomorrow and has told me he’s going to pretend it didn’t happen. I haven’t gotten a chance to really talk to DH about it but I do think we are done with this soccer team.

He’s played since he was 6 but this is a newer team he started in last year.

What? Do not send him to practice until you have figured out your response (eg, is he staying on the team? If not, why woukd he ever go back?) and talked to the host parents if not others. Sending him to practice is conceding this was NBD.

We aren’t sending him to soccer.

He’s upset and embarrassed by the entire situation. Yes, he knows it’s not his fault but he is hurt. I don’t want to hurt him more.

We are contacting parents and have gotten mixed reactions. But most likely no soccer this summer. Finding an alternative that will make DS happy.

Honest to God how can the reactions be mixed?! If I was a parent of one of the other kids I'd be utterly horrified and my kid would be off to therapy/off the team/off to volunteer somewhere.

Like was said upthread, this can be a formative age and how you/we react can have long-lasting implications.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have socially awkward teen desperate for friends so I understand.

Bare minimum is that he need to get off that soccer team and find another one. He’s not safe around those kids and should never be around them.

If you can do that then I might consider not contacting the other parents.

Ugh…

He has practice tomorrow and has told me he’s going to pretend it didn’t happen. I haven’t gotten a chance to really talk to DH about it but I do think we are done with this soccer team.

He’s played since he was 6 but this is a newer team he started in last year.

What? Do not send him to practice until you have figured out your response (eg, is he staying on the team? If not, why woukd he ever go back?) and talked to the host parents if not others. Sending him to practice is conceding this was NBD.

We aren’t sending him to soccer.

He’s upset and embarrassed by the entire situation. Yes, he knows it’s not his fault but he is hurt. I don’t want to hurt him more.

We are contacting parents and have gotten mixed reactions. But most likely no soccer this summer. Finding an alternative that will make DS happy.

Honest to God how can the reactions be mixed?! If I was a parent of one of the other kids I'd be utterly horrified and my kid would be off to therapy/off the team/off to volunteer somewhere.

Like was said upthread, this can be a formative age and how you/we react can have long-lasting implications.

I am not surprised reactions are mixed. Some people will only believe that their precious little angle can do no wrong so either they will say it is a lie, or OP's DS knew what they were and took them to be funny, or "melatonin is harmless" as we saw from a poster on this very thread. Indeed, one poster said she would laugh if she heard about a friend's kid doing this. OP, please tell me some of them have been properly horrified and extremely apologetic? What about the two moms you referenced who have a sweet kid and have been most approachable? What about the host parents?

[Anonymous]

He could have been killed. Would file a police report and have them visit the home of the family that hosted the sleepover to at least scare the bejesus out of this “friend” before they escalate further. Hopefully the parents will pay attention to police. If my kid did this I would be apologizing profusely, would make my kid write a letter to the person they hurt, and my husband would probably make them sleep outside for a week or something else extreme to knock some sense into them.

[Anonymous]

Oops, typing on my phone - sorry for the typos. Laughing at precious little angle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you friends with any other parents on the team? I'd probably start there, talk to them to see if maybe their kid said anything about it?

And I think I would tell the coach. My kid's coach would be horrified at this kind of behavior.

I'm sorry this happened to your kid. We've had similar issues with ours trying to keep up with the cool kids who aren't nice, and I've got a daughter.

Not really friends. We are all cordial.

I’m friendliest with these two moms who have a boy that’s always been the nicest to DS. I called them and they were pretty validating and spoke to their son and confirmed that he knew it was happening but wasn’t involved. They seem to be taking it seriously.

The host parents were outright dismissive and implied my son lied.

I’ve been able to get a response from a few others who mostly just respond with, “thanks for letting us know”. Not sure if they’ll address it with their kids.

I do want to know who came up with the idea and the dosage of the melatonin but I’m not sure I ever will.