Duggar family documentary coming to Prime

[Anonymous]

What’s the name of the website where the ex-fundies connected?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s the name of the website where the ex-fundies connected?

Recovering Grace

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I finished this last night and wow, so upsetting. I got the feeling that Jill may take legal action against TLC and/or her parents about the whole lack of payment (listed as a minor) issue. Maybe the statue of limitations has run out, but who knows?

Also, I wish they had given us an update on the rest of the kids. Did that older daughter ever get married? She always seemed the saddest to me.

No, Jana never married (she's 33 now). She recently moved into a small house on the same property as her parents' house.

I read that Jana has made multiple 5 year commitments to not date as a promise to God and her family. It's a Bill Gothard/IBLP thing and the ultimate vow of celibacy. Jinger mentioned these vows in an interview, not saying Jana but it felt like she was hinting at that. She said some girls take 10 yr vows.

Sounds like the kind of thing you do when marriage isn't for you.

Which is especially likely if you are part of a religion where your husband has authority over you and can discipline you.

And you’ve already helped raise 18 kids, more than several of whom were your primary responsibility starting at age 6 or so.

[Anonymous]

I am not really up on the Duggars but am very interested in these post fundamentalist women surviving this cult. Just watched the show.

My question is-

Is there only one Duggar girl who has left the life/family the way that Jim has? Jill was in SHP, but she was the only one. What about Jinger or any of the other sisters who Josh molested?

I would have liked more information about how Josh’s wife is doing now. How many children they have etc.

Fascinating and so sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I finished this last night and wow, so upsetting. I got the feeling that Jill may take legal action against TLC and/or her parents about the whole lack of payment (listed as a minor) issue. Maybe the statue of limitations has run out, but who knows?

Also, I wish they had given us an update on the rest of the kids. Did that older daughter ever get married? She always seemed the saddest to me.

No, Jana never married (she's 33 now). She recently moved into a small house on the same property as her parents' house.

I read that Jana has made multiple 5 year commitments to not date as a promise to God and her family. It's a Bill Gothard/IBLP thing and the ultimate vow of celibacy. Jinger mentioned these vows in an interview, not saying Jana but it felt like she was hinting at that. She said some girls take 10 yr vows.

Sounds like the kind of thing you do when marriage isn't for you.

Which is especially likely if you are part of a religion where your husband has authority over you and can discipline you.

I’ve watched/read former fundie folks talk about oldest daughters not wanting to marry, saying that many of them feel like they’ve already raised children and ran households for most/all their life. Why would they want to do it again, especially with some "courted" skeeveball that's not going to be a good husband? Why go back to that life and responsibility, when right now she has all the time in the world to do her gardening and art, travel, etc.?

I’m not saying it’s her reason, but I could see it playing into her choice for not pursuing that life.

+1 of course she doesn’t want to get married to some dude she probably barely knows and have 10 of his kids. I remember all these people saying when the other daughters started to marry and move out that Jim Bob and Michelle were keeping Jana at home and not allowing her to date/court/get married because they needed her help with the younger kids still. But I always saw it as her electing to stay because she could see how the alternative could be worse. Josh is a slimy pedo, Jinger and Jessa’s husbands are blowhards, if she got married in her early-mid 20s to some IBLP-approved guy she’d be back to living in poverty with some guy who doesn’t have the education to do basically anything and expected to have a bunch of kids on top of that. No freaking thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not really up on the Duggars but am very interested in these post fundamentalist women surviving this cult. Just watched the show.

My question is-

Is there only one Duggar girl who has left the life/family the way that Jim has? Jill was in SHP, but she was the only one. What about Jinger or any of the other sisters who Josh molested?

I would have liked more information about how Josh’s wife is doing now. How many children they have etc.

Fascinating and so sad.

Jinger is living in LA with her husband and is a Calvinist now. She wrote a book about how she disagrees with IBLP but is still fiercely Christian. She is practicing some form of birth control I assume (she said in her book she thinks she’s going to stop at two kids) and wears trousers but isn’t exactly progressive in the usual sense of the word. It’s unclear what family members she’s in contact with.

Jessa is a mommy influencer and hasn’t spoken out about anything as far as I can tell. I’m not sure if she’s still in contact with Jill or Jinger.

Anna (Josh’s wife) has seven kids and is living on the big Duggar compound with Jim Bob and Michelle I think. She’s either standing with her husband or at least leaning on her in-laws for help with finances and childcare while Josh is in jail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amy still milking the Duggar name!

Yeah I remember BITD of the show that everyone called her “Fame-y” and it was obvious that she was trying to build a career off her appearances on it but I really did appreciate her perspective and that of her mother in this. And the Holts! Could have had much more from the Holts. I couldn’t tell where they were right now - obviously they are extremely anti-Josh and it seemed very anti-Jim Bob but they may not have thrown out the whole IBLP stuff with them?

I thought it was really interesting that everyone who was married was interviewed together alongside their spouses. I wanted to hear more from the one young couple who married as teens while in the movement and now we’re both out of it and still together. Sounds like that would be a good story.

The Holts:

https://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/former-duggar-friend-bobye-holt-granted-protection-order/

Wow, I hope she’s OK. A protection order without divorce proceedings seems unusual.

If the Duggars didn’t tell the Holts that Josh molested his sisters, how did they find out?

That protection order is for 10 years? Did I read that right? In my state they're good for one year, then you have to go back to court to renew it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I finished this last night and wow, so upsetting. I got the feeling that Jill may take legal action against TLC and/or her parents about the whole lack of payment (listed as a minor) issue. Maybe the statue of limitations has run out, but who knows?

Also, I wish they had given us an update on the rest of the kids. Did that older daughter ever get married? She always seemed the saddest to me.

No, Jana never married (she's 33 now). She recently moved into a small house on the same property as her parents' house.

I read that Jana has made multiple 5 year commitments to not date as a promise to God and her family. It's a Bill Gothard/IBLP thing and the ultimate vow of celibacy. Jinger mentioned these vows in an interview, not saying Jana but it felt like she was hinting at that. She said some girls take 10 yr vows.

Sounds like the kind of thing you do when marriage isn't for you.

Which is especially likely if you are part of a religion where your husband has authority over you and can discipline you.

And you’ve already helped raise 18 kids, more than several of whom were your primary responsibility starting at age 6 or so.

I always thought that the older kids in these families just kind of fell into caring for the younger ones as needed, and assumed mom and dad were just lazy. I was shocked to hear that it's actually the plan! Once kids are weened apparently they don't need parenting anymore!? I feel very sad for those kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I finished this last night and wow, so upsetting. I got the feeling that Jill may take legal action against TLC and/or her parents about the whole lack of payment (listed as a minor) issue. Maybe the statue of limitations has run out, but who knows?

Also, I wish they had given us an update on the rest of the kids. Did that older daughter ever get married? She always seemed the saddest to me.

No, Jana never married (she's 33 now). She recently moved into a small house on the same property as her parents' house.

I read that Jana has made multiple 5 year commitments to not date as a promise to God and her family. It's a Bill Gothard/IBLP thing and the ultimate vow of celibacy. Jinger mentioned these vows in an interview, not saying Jana but it felt like she was hinting at that. She said some girls take 10 yr vows.

Sounds like the kind of thing you do when marriage isn't for you.

Which is especially likely if you are part of a religion where your husband has authority over you and can discipline you.

And you’ve already helped raise 18 kids, more than several of whom were your primary responsibility starting at age 6 or so.

I always thought that the older kids in these families just kind of fell into caring for the younger ones as needed, and assumed mom and dad were just lazy. I was shocked to hear that it's actually the plan! Once kids are weened apparently they don't need parenting anymore!? I feel very sad for those kids.

Yes, the buddy system they have is very much planned and structured.

[Anonymous]

I just finished the series and have a legal question.

Doesn’t Jill have a case that she is owed money because TLC had contracts with her parents that listed her as a minor even though she was legally an adult? Whoever wrote and accepted that contract is a crappy lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I finished this last night and wow, so upsetting. I got the feeling that Jill may take legal action against TLC and/or her parents about the whole lack of payment (listed as a minor) issue. Maybe the statue of limitations has run out, but who knows?

Also, I wish they had given us an update on the rest of the kids. Did that older daughter ever get married? She always seemed the saddest to me.

No, Jana never married (she's 33 now). She recently moved into a small house on the same property as her parents' house.

I read that Jana has made multiple 5 year commitments to not date as a promise to God and her family. It's a Bill Gothard/IBLP thing and the ultimate vow of celibacy. Jinger mentioned these vows in an interview, not saying Jana but it felt like she was hinting at that. She said some girls take 10 yr vows.

Sounds like the kind of thing you do when marriage isn't for you.

Which is especially likely if you are part of a religion where your husband has authority over you and can discipline you.

And you’ve already helped raise 18 kids, more than several of whom were your primary responsibility starting at age 6 or so.

I always thought that the older kids in these families just kind of fell into caring for the younger ones as needed, and assumed mom and dad were just lazy. I was shocked to hear that it's actually the plan! Once kids are weened apparently they don't need parenting anymore!? I feel very sad for those kids.

Yes, the buddy system they have is very much planned and structured.

+1

https://tialevings.substack.com/p/the-child-parents-and-sister-moms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just finished the series and have a legal question.

Doesn’t Jill have a case that she is owed money because TLC had contracts with her parents that listed her as a minor even though she was legally an adult? Whoever wrote and accepted that contract is a crappy lawyer.

I was wondering this too. I have worked for two big national corporations not unlike Discovery which owned TLC. Those companies don't mess around. They are super scared of law suits so they have huge legal teams that review everything. I was shocked that a lawyer let the same contract that treated Jill and the others as minors keep getting renewed year after year they were no longer minors. Legally, that shouldn't hold up. Just flabbergasted that they let that slide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amy still milking the Duggar name!

Yeah I remember BITD of the show that everyone called her “Fame-y” and it was obvious that she was trying to build a career off her appearances on it but I really did appreciate her perspective and that of her mother in this. And the Holts! Could have had much more from the Holts. I couldn’t tell where they were right now - obviously they are extremely anti-Josh and it seemed very anti-Jim Bob but they may not have thrown out the whole IBLP stuff with them?

I thought it was really interesting that everyone who was married was interviewed together alongside their spouses. I wanted to hear more from the one young couple who married as teens while in the movement and now we’re both out of it and still together. Sounds like that would be a good story.

The Holts:

https://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/former-duggar-friend-bobye-holt-granted-protection-order/

Wow, I hope she’s OK. A protection order without divorce proceedings seems unusual.

If the Duggars didn’t tell the Holts that Josh molested his sisters, how did they find out?

DP. A few years ago I read an AMA from a guy who grew up with the Duggars. He said that a lot of people in their community knew about what he did and they sent him to some like work camp or something as punishment where his head was shaved. I’m sure it was framed as he just stumbled the same way they would explain away someone his age watching porn.

NP I read that AMA too. It was also why he had the courtship that fell through and ended up with Anna. As the first son of a wealthy, famous family you'd expect him to marry a girl from one of the more prominent families, but they weren't keen to turn their daughter over to a known abuser. Anna and her family knew for sure, but they were super poor living in a trailer in Florida and probably viewed it like marrying into royalty, regardless of the abuse. It sounded like, as much as I think this community enabled Joh, there were some people who took this "stumble" more seriously, at least in as it pertained to their own famimlies.

Here’s Anna’s father, by the way. 🤢

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is it about this family that makes you hate them so much?
Just don’t watch the show
There are plenty of weirdo’s

I don’t hate the family at all. I feel sorry for most of them (not Josh or Jim Bob though). And I feel scared about the ways the culture they endorse has the potential to injure people.

Michelle Duggar is complicit.

Yeah I can’t say I feel that sorry for Michelle either since she made the conscious choice to join the religion/ideology and fully advocated for a lot of the horrible decisions the fault made. I’m more conflicted about Anna (Josh’s wife): on one hand, her choices to keep having kids with Josh and letting her husband have access to his kids horrify me but on the other hand, she was raised in this group with the idea that she must submit to her husband and with 7 kids and limited options for taking care of them I do feel like she’s in a very difficult scenario.

I see Anna as complicit
She could have rebelled and gotten her tubes tied when the scandal broke, instead she fixes everything by having another baby

How would she support herself with that many kids and no education? Michelle made her choice and she's a leader in that community. The kids have been brainwashed and abused to comply.

Anna is a grown woman, not a brainwashed child
Having another baby is not the way to fix things
She would have been fine with alimony and child support. The family is wealthy

What alimony? Josh is in jail and he's not paying anything for the next 13 years.

Anna stuck with him so that Jim bob would keep paying her expenses. Her family lives in a windowless warehouse on the Duggar compound

Anna’s brother who has left that community publicly supported her and said she and her kids could come live with him. Anna is complicit because she wants to maintain a certain lifestyle not because she doesn’t have other options she could make work if she was worried about protecting her kids. I also doubt she even loves Josh but probably just clings to him because she likely could not get someone else (who wants to date someone who shares that many kids with a pedophile?).

She has been conditioned her entire life to fear the secular world and that the best thing for her kids is whatver her husband or FIL say. If they are providing her well enough existence then she’s no reason to question it.

This poor woman have never had a chance to think anything different than what she was taught.

But her husband is the secular world. There is no way she would think that someone having affairs on Ashley Madison and consuming child pornography is not behaving in the ways of the secular world. She is making a choice.

[Anonymous]

I'm just getting around to watching this documentary. In addition to a lot of what the other folks have said in this thread, I'm struck by how central "Satan" seems to be to the Gothard IBLP teachings. Satan and Hell are barely even in the Bible, and yet they seem to be the stars of Gothard show. Ever present threats that require an "Umbrella of Authority" for protection.

The whole thing is a recipe for training predators and creating their prey.