Is this a legitimate reason for a divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have gone my whole life without being “attacked” in a way that requires my husband to jump to my defense. The fact that you’ve had it happen twice makes me think the problem might be you.

Op here - 2 years ago when I was 38 I could have also said that I’ve lived my whole life without being attacked. These are weird, new instances. The MIL thing was brewing for years due to him not standing up the her. The friend was a one off weird event.

When you say this, it sounds like you want to divorce over 2 events over many years. That sounds ridiculous. Particularly when people might have a reasonable disagreement about how to handle a nutty friend at a party.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my FIL attacked me (verbally, not physically) and my husband 100% had my back. I honestly don't know what I would have done had he not, so I feel your pain.

This doesn't seem like something that should come up often though, right? So even though it has happened twice in 15 years, it may never happen again. Is there something else about him being a wimp that bothers you? Something that happens more frequently?

This response has been on my mind. Thanks for this. I agree, it’s not something that happens often at all. It’s usually a nonissue as these types of situations don’t happen often. I also wonder about people choosing me to attack as an almost middle aged woman who is no longer pregnant/nursing. It seems that I am viewed as a safe place for people to unload their anger while my husband, who is just as culpable, is let off the hook (or at least isn’t in the crosshairs of the attack). Perhaps I’m getting less valuable as I’m aging and almost done with my childbearing years, therefore bullies attack me more? While my husband is a middle aged man, fit and successful and seen as more capable and valuable by society? I’m not sure but it feels like it has a misogynistic flair.


Also, more issues I had thought of are: husband wouldn’t address shoddy work by a carpet contractor. Wrong carpet was applied. It was on his to do list for three weeks to fix, he never did it. I eventually had to fight with them and ask for a discount for the trouble.

Air bnb we stayed at was dirty and nasty. We were both grossed out. He refused to contact them to fix it, said he would just live with it. I had to fight someone again to make it right.

These are two that come to mind from the past few months.

.

The OP gave me troll vibes but now it’s confirmed. What a bizarre take. This is a man posting, possibly OP’s husband.

[Anonymous]

I’ll bite…

What kind of vicious attacks? Punches? Kicks to the groin? Hair pulling? Scratching? If she was verbally attacking, Why didn’t you tell her to go F herself? 🤷‍♂️

[Anonymous]

FFS — get over yourself. His own mother? She is allowed to have an opinion and express it, without him having to shout her down in your presence. You are over reacting to this, and I bet it isn’t the first or only time. You are not prefect and infallible and above all reproach. Get used to your MIL and the neighbors and the parents of kid classmates and everyone else questioning your perfection…

[Anonymous]

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