JMU decisions out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our oldest graduated last year. I suggested they turn down any offers they had decided against, and make up their mind fairly quickly so other kids could get off the wait list. Other kids are waiting for you to do that, what you turn down could be another kid's dream come true. It came down to JMU vs. VT. Decision made fairly quickly, based on the major, and program. I agree kids shouldn't sit on acceptances any longer than necessary. If you know you don't want to go somewhere after all, then decline the offer and make another kid's day. Pay it forward, make someone smile.

Again, this is not how it works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So explain this (if it doesn't matter that they decline) at my son's high school last year he and a friend declined their acceptances and the very next day two kids came off the waitlist. It most certainly does matter!

LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Sorry, I'm totally new to being on a waitlist, as these are my first borns (they're twins).
One was accepted to JMU through early action & the other one was waitlisted.

The acceptance letter stated that we'll need to make a decision by the May 1st deadline, however does anyone have an approx idea as to how long it usually takes (after May 1st) for the school to then begin to offer spots off of the waitlist?

I'm not going to lie -- our waitlisted child's self esteem took a little bit of a hit when he learned that he & his brother weren't both accepted (they'd always planned on attending the same school together).

Here my dilemma -- one of my son's best friends was also waitlisted for JMU, and his mom called me up and had asked me how I helped my son manage his disappointment over being waitlisted, as well as manage his expectations properly?

I told her that we sat him down and explained to him in no uncertain terms, that as of right now we need to continue to go forward as if JMU is totally OFF the table for him.

I told her that I tried to find as many silver linings as I could; because I knew that he'd never be able to find any for himself.
So I told him that being put on the waitlist can be a blessing in disguise, because it can open the door to an entirely new world of possibilities for him, and a future that he could never have even dreamed of before today.
He can forge a new dream for himself, he can be WHOEVER he wants to be, and be known by whatever name he chooses, rather than always being known as "one half of the twins" (nobody has to even know he's a twin if he doesn't want them to).

I told her that in just the few minutes we were sitting down talking, I could clearly see his demeanor change from a kid who was feeling sad, dejected, rejected & riddled with self-doubt, to seeing his face start to light up and become genuinely excited by the newfound possibilities that his future could hold (at one of the other schools that he was accepted to).

My thought process was that I was covering both bases for him, so this way if he DOES happen to get into JMU from the waitlist, it will be an unexpected surprise, as he's now resigned himself to the fact that JMU isn't in the cards for him, and thats ok (you hope for the best, but expect the worst, right?) and who knows... he may get so hyped up over a different school, that he doesn't even want to go to JMU anymore?

Well... she told me that I went about that all wrong.
She said that these kids need to stay positive & put all of their energy into the universe that they KNOW that they're going to get into JMU, and that I wasn't using the law of attraction -- in fact, I was intentionally standing in the way of his attraction to JMU.
She said what I was doing was completely defeatist because we'd already accepted defeat, and alphas never accept defeat, because wars aren't won that way (whatever that means?!).

I was like "Wait... uhh, wha??" 🫨

My thought process, was that the absolute WORST thing I could do for my son after such a letdown of being waitlisted, was to then give him affirmations that he'll get into JMU, or give him false hope, or an unrealistic expectation of something that may never come to fruition (I'd heard that the number of applicants this year was history making and they'd had a record number of applicants, so I thought the odds probaby aren't great for this one, but you never know).

I just didn't want him banking all of his hopes & dreams for college, on a lukewarm "shrug" from JMU.
If for the next 2 months he continuously told himself "you got this!" and then the rug gets pulled out from under him ONCE AGAIN, it would be far more devastating for him than when he was waitlisted.

... and that would be all my fault, because I didn't set a realistic expectation for him, and I allowed him to have delusions of grandeur, when I should have been bringing him back down to reality.

There are some teenagers that you could feed a continuous diet of lies, false hope, false confidence, law of attraction, vision board bullsh!t for the next two months, and if they didn't get into JMU, they wouldn't be fazed in the least.
However, that's not my kid -- I know him.
It would be FAR more detrimental to his self esteem if I had intentionally get his hopes up by blowing smoke up his @ss, as that would be setting him up to get blindsided and take an even greater fall.

I felt very strongly that one of the most irresponsible things that I could do as his mother, was to overestimate his chances of getting in, just to make him feel better... in fact, I thought it was far better to under sell his chances, because then if he does get in, it's like SURPRISE! 🎉

The other mom felt just as strongly as I did, but she thought that I should keep telling him that he definitely IS getting into JMU, and there are no if's, and's or butt's about it. "Maybe's" are for losers, "Definitely's" are for winners! and she had the perfect recipe for winners -- they just need to keep their eye on the prize, keep their sights set directly on JMU, and JMU alone... no. where. else.
"Back up schools are for losers & fall-back schools are for pu55ies!"

Right now, his head is back on track and he's genuinely excited and open to new possibilities, and for the past 2 days I've been totally confident in what I've told him... but now she has me really doubting myself, because it's my son and I want to get it right for him. I don't care about disappointment for myself, but I can't do that to him.

She said that my strategy will have my son settling for second best for the rest of his life, because I obviously feel that "best" is just "too hard" and it comes with too many risks to go for it.
So while my kid will always be taking second place (which she lovingly referred to as the "first loser", her kid will always have "the universe" on his side and the universe will ensure that he's always taken care of.

I just had to hang up on her, because she sounded so delusional, and it was all at the expense of her son & his skewed expectations.

** Sorry this post is SO long, I never write posts this long, I'm just so freaked out by what she said, and that I'm doing a disservice to my kid. Thanks for letting me vent. 🩷

Mom- you are SPOT ON and your friend is nuts! What you have done is give your WL son a realistic picture of the situation and helped him recognize that he does have other options that may, in fact, be fantastic for him. Your friend is slinging woo-woo energy and setting her son up for a harder fall than had she been realistic instead of believing in her ability to influence the universe through her wishful thinking. Don't doubt your level-headed thinking at all!

And for what it's worth, my JMU Duke had HS close friends who are twins. One got in EA, the other deferred EA and then WL in RD. He paid his deposit to Radford, and then got off the WL in mid-July and is rooming with his brother at JMU.

GL to your sons and trust your instincts. You did good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think these posts telling people to make their decisions as soon as possible are written by the same person who told us not to bring foods that kids might be allergic to to the park.

yes. At this point in the game (seniors considering their options for next year), it's an INDIVIDUAL GAME. I understand that others on the waitlist are hoping and waiting to figure out their plans... but nobody is making decisions just to help the next guy out. It's not about "playing nice." Kids with multiple options will make their decisions when they are good and ready to commit, and not any sooner just to make sure others on the waitlist have less anxiety.

There are times to be generous, to share, to be team players. But, when a senior is trying to decide where to go for the next four year -- that is a time for thinking only of oneself. People on the waitlists can wait until the accepted kids decide in their own due time.

+1000 My kid will decline all their acceptances on May 1st. Well, maybe April 30th. It has NOTHING to do with your WL kid. Also, schools work with yield algorithms so WL often don’t move much at all. Love the school that loves you back and move on.

100% not true. Lots of kids come off waitlists, especially once decisions are made. It's ridiculous to insinuate that isn't the case.

Nope. Incorrect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD waitlisted and completely shocked. Nobody from her school ever gets rejected from JMU. But, honestly, she’s in at a higher ranked school that she said she prefers. And from the comments of the mom a few posts above, happy to see DD run the other direction. I graduated from JMU in the nineties, have been a happy supporter of the program I was an athlete with, but I am now done with this school forever. This makes absolutely no sense.

“My special princess of a kid didn’t get in, so I’m throwing a tantrum. Dramatic foot stomp!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD waitlisted and completely shocked. Nobody from her school ever gets rejected from JMU. But, honestly, she’s in at a higher ranked school that she said she prefers. And from the comments of the mom a few posts above, happy to see DD run the other direction. I graduated from JMU in the nineties, have been a happy supporter of the program I was an athlete with, but I am now done with this school forever. This makes absolutely no sense.

You're done with your alma mater, that you liked, because your kid didn't get in?

100% It was a much better place then anyway, before they doubled in size and lowered their selectivity. My kid’s stats are above the 75th percentile in every way. We are OOS, but still, seeing many with much lower stats OOS admitted. I just can’t understand what’s going on. The very next request I get to contribute will be deleted, I will opt out, and they will never see another penny. I didn’t expect any legacy or donor benefit at all—mainly because e in a million years the kid didn’t need it. To not be accepted with well above the stats? Yeah, I’m done.

Yes, we got it the first time. You’re taking your ball and going home.

I’m sure the school higher-ups will cry themselves to sleep tonight about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3.3 gpa from highly rigorous DC private, 28 ACT. Waitlisted. Completely shocked. This is nonsense. So mad right now.

Why? Maybe your child had a weak application

Data. That’s why. A great kid with a strong app. But if this makes you feel good, great. Thanks for playing.

“But why didn’t you accept her??? Her MOMMY says she’s a GREAT KID!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When JMU began using the Common App, they began to more vigorously waitlist or reject students that are high performing but JMU was 99.9% sure wouldn't come. So if your highly-qualified student didn't get in, they may be guessing that they weren't going to enroll anyway.

How would they know you and your kid's desires so well?

This is the same debunked theory of "yield protection" that was in the VT thread. It's just not a real thing.

What? You can remove the scare quotes, Yield protection is most assuredly a real thing. Bizarre to claim it’s not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When JMU began using the Common App, they began to more vigorously waitlist or reject students that are high performing but JMU was 99.9% sure wouldn't come. So if your highly-qualified student didn't get in, they may be guessing that they weren't going to enroll anyway.

How would they know you and your kid's desires so well?

This is the same debunked theory of "yield protection" that was in the VT thread. It's just not a real thing.

Not debunked.

Keep dreaming

You do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you accept an offer, your kid gets on the waitlist for a housing assignment. The earlier you accept, perhaps the better the dorm your kid gets assigned, right? If you know, accept now.

Good God, just STOP... now you're being silly.
Now kids should accept early JUST to get better housing assignments... it wouldn't be to start clearing out the wait list, right?? lol.

This kind of manipulation & scheming is kinda pathetic, as it's completely obvious & see through. I'm embarrassed for you.
That whole "housing assignment" comment seems like a totally conspicuous act of desperation, which has been brought on by being THIS hyper focused & "heartbroken" over college admissions.

You'd better be careful, or you can really damage not only your child's self esteem, but your relationship with them, as they may begin seeing themselves as just a disappointmen based on your theatrics.

DP. Wow - speaking of “theatrics” ^^^. Settle down. The PP asked a good question. You seem quite off.

The housing comment is totally true. There are really awful dorms at JMU and better dorms. If you want air conditioning then commit early.

My kid didn't care about A/C, but he did want to be right on the quad in Bluestone. So pretty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When you accept an offer, your kid gets on the waitlist for a housing assignment. The earlier you accept, perhaps the better the dorm your kid gets assigned, right? If you know, accept now.

Good God, just STOP... now you're being silly.
Now kids should accept early JUST to get better housing assignments... it wouldn't be to start clearing out the wait list, right?? lol.

This kind of manipulation & scheming is kinda pathetic, as it's completely obvious & see through. I'm embarrassed for you.
That whole "housing assignment" comment seems like a totally conspicuous act of desperation, which has been brought on by being THIS hyper focused & "heartbroken" over college admissions.

You'd better be careful, or you can really damage not only your child's self esteem, but your relationship with them, as they may begin seeing themselves as just a disappointmen based on your theatrics.

DP. Wow - speaking of “theatrics” ^^^. Settle down. The PP asked a good question. You seem quite off.

The housing comment is totally true. There are really awful dorms at JMU and better dorms. If you want air conditioning then commit early.

Are you serious??! There are dorms in the state of Virginia without AC?

DP. Yep - every college in VA (and probably most other states) has dorms with no A/C. I hate it, but it's not unusual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When JMU began using the Common App, they began to more vigorously waitlist or reject students that are high performing but JMU was 99.9% sure wouldn't come. So if your highly-qualified student didn't get in, they may be guessing that they weren't going to enroll anyway.

How would they know you and your kid's desires so well?

This is the same debunked theory of "yield protection" that was in the VT thread. It's just not a real thing.

What? You can remove the scare quotes, Yield protection is most assuredly a real thing. Bizarre to claim it’s not.

Proof?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Sorry, I'm totally new to being on a waitlist, as these are my first borns (they're twins).
One was accepted to JMU through early action & the other one was waitlisted.

The acceptance letter stated that we'll need to make a decision by the May 1st deadline, however does anyone have an approx idea as to how long it usually takes (after May 1st) for the school to then begin to offer spots off of the waitlist?

I'm not going to lie -- our waitlisted child's self esteem took a little bit of a hit when he learned that he & his brother weren't both accepted (they'd always planned on attending the same school together).

Here my dilemma -- one of my son's best friends was also waitlisted for JMU, and his mom called me up and had asked me how I helped my son manage his disappointment over being waitlisted, as well as manage his expectations properly?

I told her that we sat him down and explained to him in no uncertain terms, that as of right now we need to continue to go forward as if JMU is totally OFF the table for him.

I told her that I tried to find as many silver linings as I could; because I knew that he'd never be able to find any for himself.
So I told him that being put on the waitlist can be a blessing in disguise, because it can open the door to an entirely new world of possibilities for him, and a future that he could never have even dreamed of before today.
He can forge a new dream for himself, he can be WHOEVER he wants to be, and be known by whatever name he chooses, rather than always being known as "one half of the twins" (nobody has to even know he's a twin if he doesn't want them to).

I told her that in just the few minutes we were sitting down talking, I could clearly see his demeanor change from a kid who was feeling sad, dejected, rejected & riddled with self-doubt, to seeing his face start to light up and become genuinely excited by the newfound possibilities that his future could hold (at one of the other schools that he was accepted to).

My thought process was that I was covering both bases for him, so this way if he DOES happen to get into JMU from the waitlist, it will be an unexpected surprise, as he's now resigned himself to the fact that JMU isn't in the cards for him, and thats ok (you hope for the best, but expect the worst, right?) and who knows... he may get so hyped up over a different school, that he doesn't even want to go to JMU anymore?

Well... she told me that I went about that all wrong.
She said that these kids need to stay positive & put all of their energy into the universe that they KNOW that they're going to get into JMU, and that I wasn't using the law of attraction -- in fact, I was intentionally standing in the way of his attraction to JMU.
She said what I was doing was completely defeatist because we'd already accepted defeat, and alphas never accept defeat, because wars aren't won that way (whatever that means?!).

I was like "Wait... uhh, wha??" 🫨

My thought process, was that the absolute WORST thing I could do for my son after such a letdown of being waitlisted, was to then give him affirmations that he'll get into JMU, or give him false hope, or an unrealistic expectation of something that may never come to fruition (I'd heard that the number of applicants this year was history making and they'd had a record number of applicants, so I thought the odds probaby aren't great for this one, but you never know).

I just didn't want him banking all of his hopes & dreams for college, on a lukewarm "shrug" from JMU.
If for the next 2 months he continuously told himself "you got this!" and then the rug gets pulled out from under him ONCE AGAIN, it would be far more devastating for him than when he was waitlisted.

... and that would be all my fault, because I didn't set a realistic expectation for him, and I allowed him to have delusions of grandeur, when I should have been bringing him back down to reality.

There are some teenagers that you could feed a continuous diet of lies, false hope, false confidence, law of attraction, vision board bullsh!t for the next two months, and if they didn't get into JMU, they wouldn't be fazed in the least.
However, that's not my kid -- I know him.
It would be FAR more detrimental to his self esteem if I had intentionally get his hopes up by blowing smoke up his @ss, as that would be setting him up to get blindsided and take an even greater fall.

I felt very strongly that one of the most irresponsible things that I could do as his mother, was to overestimate his chances of getting in, just to make him feel better... in fact, I thought it was far better to under sell his chances, because then if he does get in, it's like SURPRISE! 🎉

The other mom felt just as strongly as I did, but she thought that I should keep telling him that he definitely IS getting into JMU, and there are no if's, and's or butt's about it. "Maybe's" are for losers, "Definitely's" are for winners! and she had the perfect recipe for winners -- they just need to keep their eye on the prize, keep their sights set directly on JMU, and JMU alone... no. where. else.
"Back up schools are for losers & fall-back schools are for pu55ies!"

Right now, his head is back on track and he's genuinely excited and open to new possibilities, and for the past 2 days I've been totally confident in what I've told him... but now she has me really doubting myself, because it's my son and I want to get it right for him. I don't care about disappointment for myself, but I can't do that to him.

She said that my strategy will have my son settling for second best for the rest of his life, because I obviously feel that "best" is just "too hard" and it comes with too many risks to go for it.
So while my kid will always be taking second place (which she lovingly referred to as the "first loser", her kid will always have "the universe" on his side and the universe will ensure that he's always taken care of.

I just had to hang up on her, because she sounded so delusional, and it was all at the expense of her son & his skewed expectations.

** Sorry this post is SO long, I never write posts this long, I'm just so freaked out by what she said, and that I'm doing a disservice to my kid. Thanks for letting me vent. 🩷

Is this a serious post? If so, you handled the situation perfectly. It's a college for chrissake. You did right by your kid. This other woman sounds like a complete looney tune.

I agree - time to cut the "friend" loose. What a wacko, and her poor kid - if he doesn't get in, what a terrible disappointment she's setting him up for. To the PP with the long post, this is a waitlist situation, not a deferral? I sincerely hope your son does get in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD waitlisted and completely shocked. Nobody from her school ever gets rejected from JMU. But, honestly, she’s in at a higher ranked school that she said she prefers. And from the comments of the mom a few posts above, happy to see DD run the other direction. I graduated from JMU in the nineties, have been a happy supporter of the program I was an athlete with, but I am now done with this school forever. This makes absolutely no sense.

“My special princess of a kid didn’t get in, so I’m throwing a tantrum. Dramatic foot stomp!”

+1
So sick of these entitled parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD waitlisted and completely shocked. Nobody from her school ever gets rejected from JMU.
But, honestly, she’s in at a higher ranked school that she said she prefers. And from the comments of the mom a few posts above, happy to see DD run the other direction. . I graduated from JMU in the nineties, have been a happy supporter of the program I was an athlete with, but I am now done with this school forever. This makes absolutely no sense.

You're done with your alma mater, that you liked, because your kid didn't get in?

100% It was a much better place then anyway, before they doubled in size and lowered their selectivity. My kid’s stats are above the 75th percentile in every way. We are OOS, but still, seeing many with much lower stats OOS admitted. I just can’t understand what’s going on. The very next request I get to contribute will be deleted, I will opt out, and they will never see another penny. I didn’t expect any legacy or donor benefit at all—mainly because e in a million years the kid didn’t need it. To not be accepted with well above the stats? Yeah, I’m done.

Yes, we got it the first time. You’re taking your ball and going home.

I’m sure the school higher-ups will cry themselves to sleep tonight about it.

I have a question for the PP who's daughter was waitlisted (regarding the bolded above).

Clearly you're very upset that JMU waitlisted your daughter; but your reaction was so extreme, it didn't really correlate with simply being waitlisted... you acted like they flat out rejected her.
Why would something as transposable as a waitlist offend you so greatly? It's not like it's actually set in stone?

There was more than just anger though -- you were hurt.
It was like you took the decision personally... you were *personally* offended by it... why?

One thing I noticed was that you started to lash out by saying why the school is bad now (in comparison to when you went there, it doubled in size and lowered their selectivity).
You also mentioned that your daughter has been accepted into a "higher rank school", one that she actually prefers to JMU, right?

So... if the school is going downhill (according to you) AND your daughter received an acceptance to a better school, why on earth are you STILL so bothered that she was waitlisted?
You should be THRILLED that she was accepted into the better school, if I were you I wouldn't check this post ever again!
Why would you care about a post regarding waitlisted JMU applicants, that's not you anymore, because she's got a better offer to a school that she likes better than JMU anyway... that's a win win/win!
You should be cackling like a witch with gleeful abandon, because JMU and their dumb-@ss waitlist decision can su€k it!
They're in your rear view mirror now, and you guys are off to a bigger & better school!
I'd be all like..
Woohoo.. peace out, Duke!
See ya never, admissions board!
Vaya con dios, all you su€kers in Harrisonburg! 🫡
Just like the Jeffersons, we are moving on up!

But that's not what's happening here.
For some reason, you're still so bitter & angry?
Even though your daughter got a much better offer, you still have so much indignation & anger towards JMU's waitlist decision.

So much so, that you're now ready to go full-on *SCORCHED EARTH* towards your beloved alma mater that you've happily supported & boosted for the past 30 years??

Your girl got a better offer, from a better school... you should be celebrating!
So why is it that you're still so vehement & aggrieved about this?