If you are of European descent…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually would love to move to Europe, mainly because European countries have a far superior social safety net to the US. Unfortunately countries outside of the US tend to have extremely strict guidelines as to who can immigrate there. It’s funny that Europeans moved here to the US for a “better life”, and in doing so their descendants don’t have the right to healthcare and have to deal with horrible working conditions.

Speak for yourself. In my family we have wonderful health care and perfectly accommodating working conditions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Does anyone else feel this way?

No. You're overthinking it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:… do you ever think you should move to Europe to “go back where you came from”?

I have started to feel this way. I feel like no matter how much I work to be inclusive and tolerant, there’s no getting around the fact that my presence as a white person in North America is the result of colonization, slavery, and racism. All things I fundamentally oppose.

Sometimes I think it would be better for everyone, including me, if I returned with my family to my ancestral roots (Germany or Norway). Not just because I feel the US really belongs to Native people and the descendants of enslaved people who built the country, but because I wonder if living where my family lived for thousands of years before immigrating to the US in the early 20th century would make me feel like I belonged more.

I just feel like I’m not supposed to be here. It wasn’t my choice to come but maybe it could be my choice to leave.

Does anyone else feel this way?

I am 100 percent European descent and no I don’t think about it. I love Europe and I love visiting but I am completely American at heart and want to live here.

[Anonymous]

I feel like I would fit in better in northern Europe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing, nothing that Europeans love more than when an American shows up and says “I’m German, I’m Italian…etc.”


OP, you’re American. Embrace your destiny. No one is going to mistake you for a Norwegian or German. Especially with no real knowledge of the language or culture.

I think this is not true. It's in our DNA. We could fit in and no one would notice. Some of us have studied languages and culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing, nothing that Europeans love more than when an American shows up and says “I’m German, I’m Italian…etc.”


OP, you’re American. Embrace your destiny. No one is going to mistake you for a Norwegian or German. Especially with no real knowledge of the language or culture.

I think this is not true. It's in our DNA. We could fit in and no one would notice. Some of us have studied languages and culture.

As a European, if you believe your DNA allows you to “fit in,” you are a fool. Do you have native fluency without an accent? When we speak about our schooling, were you raised in our schools (which differ from country to country)? Did you watch the same programs we did as young children? It’s insulting to act as if you know someone else’s country so well. I’ve lived in the U.S. for 20 years. I enjoy many aspects of life here, but I would never pretend for a minute that I can pretend I fully understand American culture.

By the way, OP does not speak the language of the two countries she’s mentioned.

[Anonymous]

I lived in Europe for several years. It's certainly one of the all time continents. And I really do mean that. It exists. That's about all I can say for Europe.

I did find out in my genetic testing that I am one percent African. I am now eager to return to my northern African homeland.

[Anonymous]

You need to get off the Internet, OP. You are not responsible for what your ancestors did or didn’t do. Every country was taken over by violence at some point. Get out there and actually help others, it will do you good.

[Anonymous]

England, Scotland and Ireland won't let me stay even though my genealogy research tells me that's where I'm from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:… do you ever think you should move to Europe to “go back where you came from”?

I have started to feel this way. I feel like no matter how much I work to be inclusive and tolerant, there’s no getting around the fact that my presence as a white person in North America is the result of colonization, slavery, and racism. All things I fundamentally oppose.

Sometimes I think it would be better for everyone, including me, if I returned with my family to my ancestral roots (Germany or Norway). Not just because I feel the US really belongs to Native people and the descendants of enslaved people who built the country, but because I wonder if living where my family lived for thousands of years before immigrating to the US in the early 20th century would make me feel like I belonged more.

I just feel like I’m not supposed to be here. It wasn’t my choice to come but maybe it could be my choice to leave.

Does anyone else feel this way?

No. I think this is dangerous thinking.

Let me ask you, I am Mexican (mestiza), born in Texas with mixed heritage, including roughly 50% European. Am I supposed to go back to Spain or Portugal? Do I need to go back to Mexico? I don’t think so. I am American and so are my kids. I think if you start thinking you need to go back to where you came from would you think that of me too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha, that assumes Norway would even want to take back a hamburger-eating doofus from Kansas like you.

This "go back where you came from” talk is so toxic, and it's not gonna happen anyway. Let's just figure out how to all get along already.

OP here. It’s not about “getting along.” I get along great with other people. I have a very diverse community and I feel people get along, there’s lots of tolerance and acceptance.

But I don’t feel like I BELONG. I feel like an interloper. Like why am I even here, why did my family move here? It feels random. Like my great grandparents felt bored and were like “America seems exciting” so they moved. It’s like the 1904 version of studying abroad and then deciding to just live there because why not. But why?

I want to feel a sense of deep roots and belonging, of being a part of something bigger than just me. I think the US has a rich and interesting culture and history.

Also, to respond to others: I am not idealizing life in other countries. I don’t think life there is better, in some ways it’s likely worse. I want the belonging, not some idealized version life in Europe. I’m not fantasizing about riding a bike with a baguette and some flowers in the basket. I want to feel more connected to where I live.

My parents live on the other side of the US than me. They are each from still other distant parts of the US, where I no longer have much family. My grandparents are dead and I never met two of them and barely knew the other two. I truly do not feel that I have roots here. Moving to another part of the US feels like more of the same. I don’t want new. I want old.

Since it sounds like you don't have a spouse, you should get a puppy. Maybe foster a pregnant mama dog and pick out a puppy from the litter that you will keep. Also, consider tutoring grade school students or mentoring.

I think you might not know why your grandparents moved here- most people be they English moving to GA in the 17th century or spaniards coming up into what was then Mexico all the way through to teh influx of refugees in the 1890s and then after ww2 and then post colonial breakdown the 70s - all of these people immigrating here, left their lives behind b/c of some trauma.

You should search out the immigration museums of whatever ethnicity you are .. there are tiny museums dedicated to pretty much every ethnicity dotted all over the US and you will find that its wasn't ooh what a great adventure in 1904 from the balkans or Sweden/norway. it was more likely the failure of harvests 5-6 years in a row and widespread political and social collapse. the Ottoman Empire and Russian empires were falling apart at the end of the 19th century plus there were several decades of epidemics both in humans, animals and in crops at that time. Lots of borders changing and hardship- that is why ppl got up and came here. they were trying to survive and then thrive. its wasn't study abroad.. not even for the 2nd sons who ended up here in Stuart times- their parents told them that chivalry is over- , we are giving everything to your older brother and your best bet is going to colonies or you can always become a priest! maybe your grandparents were the wrong brand of christian for their area- that happened a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, i feel a yearning to return to my ancestors’ land. It’s not guilt but I definitely don’t feel great or proud about being descended from colonizers. I wish my family had maintained Irish citizenship through the generations.

the Irish (!!!) were not colonizers! they were colonized and abused and sold into slavery in the carribean by the English who claimed an Irish man was basically a Black man with pale skin and red hair.. so. you can let go of your guilt. The Irish moved to america b/c of enormous amounts of trauma-- they were the first country (after Wales) to be colonized by the British and they were brutalized- like tongues being cut out for speaking their language- a technique the civilized British than used in Africa and the Punjab. if you have Irish ancestors you are not a colonizer, you were the colonized, Irish weren't even considered white when they immigrated here. the Irish did participate in anti-Blackness, mostly driven by a desire to move out of being considered one half step above and being fully accepted as white which came with significant benefits. and I am not Irish or even white at all, my family immigrated here from another former British colony in the 70s.

[Anonymous]

The earliest American ancestor I can trace on one side was one of the settlers of Jamestown. On another side I am 1/8 Guatemalan, so given the difference in time between those two immigrants maybe I should move to Guatemala?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually would love to move to Europe, mainly because European countries have a far superior social safety net to the US. Unfortunately countries outside of the US tend to have extremely strict guidelines as to who can immigrate there. It’s funny that Europeans moved here to the US for a “better life”, and in doing so their descendants don’t have the right to healthcare and have to deal with horrible working conditions.

Speak for yourself. In my family we have wonderful health care and perfectly accommodating working conditions.

You’re privileged.