If you are of European descent…

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, but this is incredibly dumb. You said it wasn’t your choice to “come” here… so where did you come from? If you were born in the US, you “came” from here, regardless of your race or ethnicity. Humans have been moving around for many, many thousands of years. Stiff up on human evolution, migrations, & immigration to put it in perspective. NO ONE needs to “go back where they came from.”

[Anonymous]

Agree that countries need immigration, but it’s also true that our country (like most of the americas) was built up via many unjustices against natives and blacks, especially. But we don’t run away from that we acknowledge it, through education and reparations, as Germany did with its Jewish population.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have no clear way to move to Germany or Norway, and my understanding is that it would be hard. I also speak neither language, and my family immigrated to the US too long ago to qualify for one of the programs that allows you to get citizenship based on recent ancestors.

I do actually have one Irish great-grandparent too, I don’t know if that would help.

I just don’t feel like I belong in the US.

Get an Irish passport, and then you can live anywhere in the EU, including Germany.

But... you do realize that modern-day Germany is the result of wars between factions, and also was built by slaves and indentured serfs, right? They were also a major slave trader:
https://academic.oup.com/yale-scholarship-online/book/29764/chapter-abstract/251307901?redirectedFrom=fulltext

Then there's the Holocaust. One could argue that was worse than any slavery here in the US, and more recent when people should have known better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, that's racism applied to yourself. And worse, if you apply it to others, you would bar any current immigration as well.

As a French multiethnic national living in the US on a visa and hoping to get a green card and citizenship, I utterly reject your premise. Countries NEED immigration. Just not too much too fast, as it creates cultural integration tensions and shortages in public services. But immigration and mixing of cultures is a GOOD thing.

As I mentioned, I am multi-ethnic. What does your reasoning lead to concerning mixed-race people? Do you think they don't belong ANYWHERE?

So. Maybe think a little before you post.

I think you are misreading my post. I’m not saying anyone should feel this way, only that I do.

I feel no connection to this country. I’m fourth generation on both sides, but have no sense of roots here. I know people who trace their family in the US to native tribes that predate colonization, to Spanish families who settled in the western US back when it still belonged to Spain, or when it was Mexico. I know people whose story of belonging in the US is traced to ancestors who were enslaved in the US, which I think makes them deserving of belonging in a way I am not.

I’m not anti-immigration. People should immigrate if the want or need to, I understand the value of immigration.

But I did not choose to immigrate to the US and don’t feel like I have a place here. I wonder if living somewhere that I have deeper roots might offer more belonging on some level, even if it meant learning a new (to me) language and culture.

Where did your parents live? Your grandparents and great-grandparents? Those are roots. You're fourth generation - you really think you need deeper roots than that?

Sure, some people can trace their ancestry back hundreds or thousands of years (I have one relative who likes genealogy and has found some ancestors who came over in the 1600s which is neat but I have no feeling of connection to them). But realistically, most Americans cannot - that is one thing that links us.

[Anonymous]

The country no longer exists. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you should see if you can spend some time (like, preferably half a year to a year) living abroad. It will help you to stop idealizing other countries and realize how American you really are.

(Speaking from personal experience.)

If you do get Irish citizenship, you can live anywhere in the EU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, that's racism applied to yourself. And worse, if you apply it to others, you would bar any current immigration as well.

As a French multiethnic national living in the US on a visa and hoping to get a green card and citizenship, I utterly reject your premise. Countries NEED immigration. Just not too much too fast, as it creates cultural integration tensions and shortages in public services. But immigration and mixing of cultures is a GOOD thing.

As I mentioned, I am multi-ethnic. What does your reasoning lead to concerning mixed-race people? Do you think they don't belong ANYWHERE?

So. Maybe think a little before you post.

I think you are misreading my post. I’m not saying anyone should feel this way, only that I do.

I feel no connection to this country. I’m fourth generation on both sides, but have no sense of roots here. I know people who trace their family in the US to native tribes that predate colonization, to Spanish families who settled in the western US back when it still belonged to Spain, or when it was Mexico. I know people whose story of belonging in the US is traced to ancestors who were enslaved in the US, which I think makes them deserving of belonging in a way I am not.

I’m not anti-immigration. People should immigrate if the want or need to, I understand the value of immigration.

But I did not choose to immigrate to the US and don’t feel like I have a place here. I wonder if living somewhere that I have deeper roots might offer more belonging on some level, even if it meant learning a new (to me) language and culture.

PP you replied to. I can't be very sympathetic, because I AM different from other people, and I've worked hard to belong. My parents hail from countries that are half a world apart. I spent my childhood living in different countries due to my father's job. I came to the USA as an adult. My kids were born here. We are an international family, with various relatives speaking different languages, and having different religions and cultures.

So this "not belonging" is a effort YOU have to make yourself, OP. It's like being happy. Sometimes that takes work too! Don't think that these things are supposed to be handed to you on a silver platter.

You clearly need a period of self-reflection and introspection. Maybe with the help of a therapist, although most of them are useless. But the point is: the answer you seek is not out there, in a different country. It's inside your head and was there all along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you should see if you can spend some time (like, preferably half a year to a year) living abroad. It will help you to stop idealizing other countries and realize how American you really are.

(Speaking from personal experience.)

If you do get Irish citizenship, you can live anywhere in the EU.

Ditto – lived in the UK for many years and was very happy there, but it led to a lot of self-examination about my “American-ness.” Everywhere is a mixed bag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha, that assumes Norway would even want to take back a hamburger-eating doofus from Kansas like you.

This "go back where you came from” talk is so toxic, and it's not gonna happen anyway. Let's just figure out how to all get along already.

OP here. It’s not about “getting along.” I get along great with other people. I have a very diverse community and I feel people get along, there’s lots of tolerance and acceptance.

But I don’t feel like I BELONG. I feel like an interloper. Like why am I even here, why did my family move here? It feels random. Like my great grandparents felt bored and were like “America seems exciting” so they moved. It’s like the 1904 version of studying abroad and then deciding to just live there because why not. But why?

I want to feel a sense of deep roots and belonging, of being a part of something bigger than just me. I think the US has a rich and interesting culture and history.

Also, to respond to others: I am not idealizing life in other countries. I don’t think life there is better, in some ways it’s likely worse. I want the belonging, not some idealized version life in Europe. I’m not fantasizing about riding a bike with a baguette and some flowers in the basket. I want to feel more connected to where I live.

My parents live on the other side of the US than me. They are each from still other distant parts of the US, where I no longer have much family. My grandparents are dead and I never met two of them and barely knew the other two. I truly do not feel that I have roots here. Moving to another part of the US feels like more of the same. I don’t want new. I want old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, that's racism applied to yourself. And worse, if you apply it to others, you would bar any current immigration as well.

As a French multiethnic national living in the US on a visa and hoping to get a green card and citizenship, I utterly reject your premise. Countries NEED immigration. Just not too much too fast, as it creates cultural integration tensions and shortages in public services. But immigration and mixing of cultures is a GOOD thing.

As I mentioned, I am multi-ethnic. What does your reasoning lead to concerning mixed-race people? Do you think they don't belong ANYWHERE?

So. Maybe think a little before you post.

I think you are misreading my post. I’m not saying anyone should feel this way, only that I do.

I feel no connection to this country. I’m fourth generation on both sides, but have no sense of roots here. I know people who trace their family in the US to native tribes that predate colonization, to Spanish families who settled in the western US back when it still belonged to Spain, or when it was Mexico. I know people whose story of belonging in the US is traced to ancestors who were enslaved in the US, which I think makes them deserving of belonging in a way I am not.

I’m not anti-immigration. People should immigrate if the want or need to, I understand the value of immigration.

But I did not choose to immigrate to the US and don’t feel like I have a place here. I wonder if living somewhere that I have deeper roots might offer more belonging on some level, even if it meant learning a new (to me) language and culture.

PP you replied to. I can't be very sympathetic, because I AM different from other people, and I've worked hard to belong. My parents hail from countries that are half a world apart. I spent my childhood living in different countries due to my father's job. I came to the USA as an adult. My kids were born here. We are an international family, with various relatives speaking different languages, and having different religions and cultures.

So this "not belonging" is a effort YOU have to make yourself, OP. It's like being happy. Sometimes that takes work too! Don't think that these things are supposed to be handed to you on a silver platter.

You clearly need a period of self-reflection and introspection. Maybe with the help of a therapist, although most of them are useless. But the point is: the answer you seek is not out there, in a different country. It's inside your head and was there all along.

You feel belonging because you are a family if immigrants in a nation of immigrants. Your multiculturalness is PART of your belonging. That is the story of the US.

And yes, American mental health services are trash. On that we can agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha, that assumes Norway would even want to take back a hamburger-eating doofus from Kansas like you.

This "go back where you came from” talk is so toxic, and it's not gonna happen anyway. Let's just figure out how to all get along already.

OP here. It’s not about “getting along.” I get along great with other people. I have a very diverse community and I feel people get along, there’s lots of tolerance and acceptance.

But I don’t feel like I BELONG. I feel like an interloper. Like why am I even here, why did my family move here? It feels random. Like my great grandparents felt bored and were like “America seems exciting” so they moved. It’s like the 1904 version of studying abroad and then deciding to just live there because why not. But why?

I want to feel a sense of deep roots and belonging, of being a part of something bigger than just me. I think the US has a rich and interesting culture and history.

Also, to respond to others: I am not idealizing life in other countries. I don’t think life there is better, in some ways it’s likely worse. I want the belonging, not some idealized version life in Europe. I’m not fantasizing about riding a bike with a baguette and some flowers in the basket. I want to feel more connected to where I live.

My parents live on the other side of the US than me. They are each from still other distant parts of the US, where I no longer have much family. My grandparents are dead and I never met two of them and barely knew the other two. I truly do not feel that I have roots here. Moving to another part of the US feels like more of the same. I don’t want new. I want old.

Since it sounds like you don't have a spouse, you should get a puppy. Maybe foster a pregnant mama dog and pick out a puppy from the litter that you will keep. Also, consider tutoring grade school students or mentoring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have no clear way to move to Germany or Norway, and my understanding is that it would be hard. I also speak neither language, and my family immigrated to the US too long ago to qualify for one of the programs that allows you to get citizenship based on recent ancestors.

I do actually have one Irish great-grandparent too, I don’t know if that would help.

I just don’t feel like I belong in the US.

Get an Irish passport, and then you can live anywhere in the EU, including Germany.

But... you do realize that modern-day Germany is the result of wars between factions, and also was built by slaves and indentured serfs, right? They were also a major slave trader:
https://academic.oup.com/yale-scholarship-online/book/29764/chapter-abstract/251307901?redirectedFrom=fulltext

Then there's the Holocaust. One could argue that was worse than any slavery here in the US, and more recent when people should have known better.

I don’t want to leave out of white guilt. I don’t think Germany is inherently better than the US. Only that I might feel a deeper sense of belonging in a place where my ancestors lived for centuries than I do here. It would at least be something to connect to.

I love learning about the history of North America. But I don’t feel like I’m part of it. I feel superfluous here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you should see if you can spend some time (like, preferably half a year to a year) living abroad. It will help you to stop idealizing other countries and realize how American you really are.

(Speaking from personal experience.)

If you do get Irish citizenship, you can live anywhere in the EU.

She’s too far down the line to get Irish citizenship. Farthest out allowed is grandparent.

[Anonymous]

My family has been here since before the revolutionary war. I don’t feel like I don’t belong at all.

[Anonymous]

I would do it! Of course I’m married and have kids so I’m not going anywhere, but if I had free agency sure, why not. I have Irish ancestry so would probably go there. I also have Italian ancestry, but the language and cultural barriers would be too big to cross