Movie blow up - WWYD?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You and the kids are super high maintenance. Just watch the movie - like you are in a theatre.. No barking stupid questions. Just watch the movie.

No. Her husband needs to grow up. His temper tantrum about a stupid movie isn’t appropriate behavior for anyone over seven years old.

Nor are the "adults" who have no idea how to sit and watch a movie. I would never watch a movie with any of them again. Maybe the DH because he seems the most normal in this dysfunctional bunch. The rest can't figure out how to appropriately watch a movie at their advanced ages. Do the adult kids in question have a social life or friends? Because this is pretty alienating behavior. The DH is probably disappointed that something so simple is impossible in this household.

I’m very sorry that you’ve somehow reached adulthood without understanding this, but there are no rules about “how to sit and watch a movie” in your own home.

I'm pretty sure talking nonstop over the dialogues is universally rude behavior when people are actually trying to listen. Sounds like OP encourages it though.

I might agree with you if OP’s husband hadn’t already seen the movie and knew exactly what was going to happen.

Sometimes on a rewatch you can catch things you missed the first time. But not if others around you can't shut their traps.

Guess how else you catch things on rewatch? Captions.

Not all things, some people actually watch background, scenery, facial emotions, etc. But you wouldn't know that if you're just reading along the whole time or talking out loud. You miss a lot. Why bother at all?

What’s stopping him from noticing scenery or facial emotions while people are talking or reading captions?

Because on a rewatch you may catch what you missed the first time. Does it really need to be spelled out? Why can't the adults just shut up and listen so they wouldn't need to read it? If he can do all that, then they can listen better and close their mouths. But apparently that's too much to ask of some adults. It's pretty clear they were just trying to be jerks and make it as miserable as possible as a "favor" to their dad. No wonder he left the room.

Then he should watch by himself. It's been made clear here that some people cannot "just shut up and listen." They need captions to literally "hear" the movie. They need captions to understand and process. Take that away and now you've got confusion.

You are the problem. People like you are the problem. The whole reason to watch a movie at home and not in a theater is to have these easy concessions available. But one idiot cannot handle it and throws a tantrum. You'd be that person. Guaranteed.

[Anonymous]

Op has stated her DD doesn't NEED the captions but they can be helpful at times. People like you are the problem expecting the world to indulge your whims of non-essential requirements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op has stated her DD doesn't NEED the captions but they can be helpful at times. People like you are the problem expecting the world to indulge your whims of non-essential requirements.

Like OP's DH, you mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op has stated her DD doesn't NEED the captions but they can be helpful at times. People like you are the problem expecting the world to indulge your whims of non-essential requirements.

The faulty premise here is that there’s any purpose served in insisting on watching a movie together if you are not going to interact with them while watching the movie. If you are going to watch a movie in stony silence and then only talk about it afterward, there is no reason not to watch it separately if the people involved have incompatible movie-watching styles. The DH trying to force his kids to watch a movie in a way that isn’t as enjoyable for them while also insisting that they enjoy the movie watching experience is inane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op has stated her DD doesn't NEED the captions but they can be helpful at times. People like you are the problem expecting the world to indulge your whims of non-essential requirements.

This is what OP said: Older child is very much a visual learner and has issues with extended listening in some scenarios - ie action movies fine, in depth movies, she is a slower processor and text helps

If the DH wanted to actually share his love of this movie, he should have be supportive of accommodations that made it easier for his DD to access it. Who enjoys a movie/experience that is labor to access?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op has stated her DD doesn't NEED the captions but they can be helpful at times. People like you are the problem expecting the world to indulge your whims of non-essential requirements.

You. Are. The. Problem. And an a-hole to boot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op has stated her DD doesn't NEED the captions but they can be helpful at times. People like you are the problem expecting the world to indulge your whims of non-essential requirements.

This is what OP said: Older child is very much a visual learner and has issues with extended listening in some scenarios - ie action movies fine, in depth movies, she is a slower processor and text helps

If the DH wanted to actually share his love of this movie, he should have be supportive of accommodations that made it easier for his DD to access it. Who enjoys a movie/experience that is labor to access?

+1. My Dh has huge discrepancies in his visual vs auditory processing. This is not just something he made up, it has ax to actually been tested and his visual processing is around the 95th percentile but his auditory processing is around the 10th percentile. If I need him to remember something I asked/told him, I text him even if we have already discussed it because it dramatically increases the odds he will retain it.

This means that movies with denser dialogue are challenging for him to follow without subtitles. He simply will not enjoy them, and no amount of browbeating is going to change that. He will go see an action movie in the theater because the dialogue tends not to be as significant, but otherwise prefers to watch movies at home so he can watch them with subtitles because that is what he needs to enjoy the movie.

I would be a flaming arsehole if I got mad at him for using subtitles during a movie I wanted to watch with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op has stated her DD doesn't NEED the captions but they can be helpful at times. People like you are the problem expecting the world to indulge your whims of non-essential requirements.

If you're fully mobile and use an elevator, you're a hypocrite. You don't NEED to use that elevator either. But I bet you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op has stated her DD doesn't NEED the captions but they can be helpful at times. People like you are the problem expecting the world to indulge your whims of non-essential requirements.

You. Are. The. Problem. And an a-hole to boot.

YOU are an ENTITLED.DIVA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op has stated her DD doesn't NEED the captions but they can be helpful at times. People like you are the problem expecting the world to indulge your whims of non-essential requirements.

If you're fully mobile and use an elevator, you're a hypocrite. You don't NEED to use that elevator either. But I bet you do.

I am not demanding an elevator when I don't NEED one though am I?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op has stated her DD doesn't NEED the captions but they can be helpful at times. People like you are the problem expecting the world to indulge your whims of non-essential requirements.

You. Are. The. Problem. And an a-hole to boot.

YOU are an ENTITLED.DIVA.

I'm an entitled diva because I'm deaf? That's a new one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op has stated her DD doesn't NEED the captions but they can be helpful at times. People like you are the problem expecting the world to indulge your whims of non-essential requirements.

If you're fully mobile and use an elevator, you're a hypocrite. You don't NEED to use that elevator either. But I bet you do.

I am not demanding an elevator when I don't NEED one though am I?

What makes you think you're the decision-maker on what anyone else needs? You really think that highly of yourself that you think you get to decide what other people need? I can't imagine being that egotistical that I would think I know better what someone else needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op has stated her DD doesn't NEED the captions but they can be helpful at times. People like you are the problem expecting the world to indulge your whims of non-essential requirements.

If you're fully mobile and use an elevator, you're a hypocrite. You don't NEED to use that elevator either. But I bet you do.

I am not demanding an elevator when I don't NEED one though am I?

Who made the demands here?
As a reminder, per the OP:
"DH was getting very mad. First, he insisted on no captions / subtitles onscreen - that they distract him. So they were turned off though the rest of us prefer them. "Learn to use your ears, you don't have captions in a movie theatre, deal with it" is his opinion."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. It is hard for us to find movies we all like. Kids have watched Marvel movies and comedies with DH with no problem. Older kid does have some special needs - (And for PP who insisted that slow processing speed is a scam - my kid has had two rounds of educational evaluations in HS - but did NOT use testing accommodations. She has more issues with auditory learning and was allowed a tape recorder to help with notes - she does not process auditorially as fast as other kids, esp in lectures. She is a fine test taker and reader.) She can watch a movie without subtitles, but for very talky films, subtitles do help.

In this situation, older kid would have appreciated having subtitles on but acquiesced to Dad's wishes. Kids find it hard to connect with Dad. For example, Dad wanted to share with them an old series he loved as a boy with them. Older DD watched it with him though it was not really her cup of tea. Dad was very bitter when younger DD bowed out of series after watching over 20 episodes. This show had almost 50 episodes and DH was very disappointed younger DD did not sit through the entire series with him. He takes that very personally.

We do not watch a lot of movies together as a family because he has different tastes - action and comedies only. If I want to see something outside that, I go alone as he is not interested. The kids do not typically pause movies to ask questions. Not sure why the younger one did with this one today, other than perhaps tiredness keeping her from following along attentively.

But both girls get frustrated with their dad's "my way or the highway" mode. They often do not like playing games with him as he is very competitive and often wants to take over when in the past we have done things like escape rooms.

He's a very black / white sort of person with not a lot of gray. For example, he cannot easily visit with his mom because they are very different politically, and he cannot just have a civil debate with her, he feels the need to win the argument and gets upset when he cannot convince her of where she is "wrong" - where I can mostly just go the "agree to disagree" or step away from it route.

I want DH to have a better relationship with our kids, because they love him but feel that his rigidity in always having to be "right" / do it his way, makes him hard to deal with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. It is hard for us to find movies we all like. Kids have watched Marvel movies and comedies with DH with no problem. Older kid does have some special needs - (And for PP who insisted that slow processing speed is a scam - my kid has had two rounds of educational evaluations in HS - but did NOT use testing accommodations. She has more issues with auditory learning and was allowed a tape recorder to help with notes - she does not process auditorially as fast as other kids, esp in lectures. She is a fine test taker and reader.) She can watch a movie without subtitles, but for very talky films, subtitles do help.

In this situation, older kid would have appreciated having subtitles on but acquiesced to Dad's wishes. Kids find it hard to connect with Dad. For example, Dad wanted to share with them an old series he loved as a boy with them. Older DD watched it with him though it was not really her cup of tea. Dad was very bitter when younger DD bowed out of series after watching over 20 episodes. This show had almost 50 episodes and DH was very disappointed younger DD did not sit through the entire series with him. He takes that very personally.

We do not watch a lot of movies together as a family because he has different tastes - action and comedies only. If I want to see something outside that, I go alone as he is not interested. The kids do not typically pause movies to ask questions. Not sure why the younger one did with this one today, other than perhaps tiredness keeping her from following along attentively.

But both girls get frustrated with their dad's "my way or the highway" mode. They often do not like playing games with him as he is very competitive and often wants to take over when in the past we have done things like escape rooms.

He's a very black / white sort of person with not a lot of gray. For example, he cannot easily visit with his mom because they are very different politically, and he cannot just have a civil debate with her, he feels the need to win the argument and gets upset when he cannot convince her of where she is "wrong" - where I can mostly just go the "agree to disagree" or step away from it route.

I want DH to have a better relationship with our kids, because they love him but feel that his rigidity in always having to be "right" / do it his way, makes him hard to deal with.