Men who steal women’s fertility

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me.

Well I’m in a marriage where I haven’t had a child yet due to lack of interest and cooperation from my husband. Now I’m too terrified to leave as bow can I divorce, fall in love and have a baby with rapidly declining fertility?

I did it, and had a baby at 41. Was married 1st time at 30, divorced 35, remarried 37, and used IVF. My marriage is very good and my child is total perfection. I knew when I divorced at 35 that I might head into single and child-free forever. I thought it was the most likely outcome, and accepted it. That outcome was better than staying with that guy, my 1st husband, who was not terrible but did not want to have sex with me, did not want to grow up, made very little money, was resentful as I became more successful, and again, did not want to have sex with me. But we were really great friends!! Anyway, it took a lot to divorce him, because I loved him, and hated the failure. I did it though, and the results are spectacular: a husband who wants sex too much, makes loads of money, and I have my one and only, amazing and incredible, little boy who has changed my life.

NP. Just wanted to say how inspirational your story is! Good for you for doing the hard thing and going after what you wanted, and wish you all the best in life. A lot of times I wish I had that strength and bravery to do what you did, but I stayed because I had already invested so many of my fertile years, and was afraid I was too old by then to find another life partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me.

Well I’m in a marriage where I haven’t had a child yet due to lack of interest and cooperation from my husband. Now I’m too terrified to leave as bow can I divorce, fall in love and have a baby with rapidly declining fertility?

I did it, and had a baby at 41. Was married 1st time at 30, divorced 35, remarried 37, and used IVF. My marriage is very good and my child is total perfection. I knew when I divorced at 35 that I might head into single and child-free forever. I thought it was the most likely outcome, and accepted it. That outcome was better than staying with that guy, my 1st husband, who was not terrible but did not want to have sex with me, did not want to grow up, made very little money, was resentful as I became more successful, and again, did not want to have sex with me. But we were really great friends!! Anyway, it took a lot to divorce him, because I loved him, and hated the failure. I did it though, and the results are spectacular: a husband who wants sex too much, makes loads of money, and I have my one and only, amazing and incredible, little boy who has changed my life.

NP. Just wanted to say how inspirational your story is! Good for you for doing the hard thing and going after what you wanted, and wish you all the best in life. A lot of times I wish I had that strength and bravery to do what you did, but I stayed because I had already invested so many of my fertile years, and was afraid I was too old by then to find another life partner.

Sunk cost fallacy keeps a lot of people in unfulfilling relationships. For some reason, lots of educated, high achieving people make really illogical decisions when it comes to their romantic relationships.

[Anonymous]

Lol, no one can steal your fertility. Up to you to leave.

What an insanely stupid post. Not surprising though for man hating dcum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol, no one can steal your fertility. Up to you to leave.

What an insanely stupid post. Not surprising though for man hating dcum.

It means the person lied to you. A man I know feels like his wife stole his fertile years because she promised to have children and then told him later she was a lesbian and also never wanted kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol, no one can steal your fertility. Up to you to leave.

What an insanely stupid post. Not surprising though for man hating dcum.

It means the person lied to you. A man I know feels like his wife stole his fertile years because she promised to have children and then told him later she was a lesbian and also never wanted kids.

If there have not been actual effort to get pregnant you leave. Continuing to stay without effort is a choice

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

Guess you've never heard of middle eastern countries and many muslim countries where women don't have agency over their own lives. Be glad you are shielded from all that.

We don’t live in the middle east.

Well, we have women from there who now live in the US. And there are many who follow the same cultural practices no matter where they live, even if born and raised in the US.

And are these women posting on DCUM. Is op one of these women? Is Anniston? Didn't think so.

You and OP are no help to women telling them they have zero agency. And men are to blame for everything that goes wrong in their lives.

As a 38 year old woman it's infuriating to see this kind of talk on DCUM.
He didn't steal from you. You aren't a victim you ignored the red flags and now you're dealing with the consequences.

What do you not get? I am posting on DCUM and it is infuriating to see my life experience been dismissed/negated by people like you. I am not saying all women have no agency, I am saying there are some women who have had no agency because of their culture.

I am a victim of my culture, so F off telling me I should deal with it since I chose this. I did not choose this. And people like you would never understand what it is like to be in my shoes and the culture I was raised in. I'm done talking to people like you since it brings back trauma.

You have choices and your choice is to take the easy way out and stay put. That is your choice; it’s not being forced on you. Every day women escape violent situations without absolutely nothing. So you can F with this culture BS.

NP. I guess it shouldn't surprise me that some of you are so sheltered, you have no idea how other cultures work. My 14 year old cousin recently got caught on social media talking to boys. Totally normal behavior here in the US but strictly forbidden in our culture. Her parents told her they were going back to our country to visit. When she landed, they took her passport and told her she was not returning to the US. Last semester she was at regular American school and now she is in a rural village school in a developing country where she will be indoctrinated to behave according to our cultural expectations and norms. Do you really think she will feel as empowered as your daughters by the time she's an adult? There are many very effective ways to coerce and even force women and girls to behave. Speaking from hard experience.

Good job with the irrelevant comparison of a child to a grown woman.

Hi genius. Good job with understanding that some women are not empowered because their society is designed to strip them of their power starting from girlhood. My cousin has almost no chance of having what you all call agency. Do you think she's going to grow up to defy her family and have the same choices you can have? Here's a clue: No. She will do what her family says. She will marry who her parents choose. Then she will do as her husband says. That's how our system works.

In the US women have a choice. You have a choice to help your cousin, but I bet you won’t. Easier to complain then to do the hard stuff. But really, if you want to discuss the hell hole you’re from, start your own thread.

[Anonymous]

In my experience, men know nothing about fertility because they don't have to think about it. One day, they turn to their forty-three year old girlfriend and say "hey babe, maybe we should have a kid" and then they're like "oh" when she says it's too late. Men need to be taught about family planning regardless of the fact that they can knock someone up until they die. Most men who want kids and are still single at 40 don't actually settle down and have kids with women fifteen years their junior. They just talk about "maybe having kids some day" forever.

I've known plenty of single men in their forties and fifties who talked about wanting kids. None of them had kids. I've also known women single women over 35 who wanted kids, and some of them had kids on their own.

[Anonymous]

Wives steal their husbands' mental sanity since time immemorial. Where's the reparations for that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, men know nothing about fertility because they don't have to think about it. One day, they turn to their forty-three year old girlfriend and say "hey babe, maybe we should have a kid" and then they're like "oh" when she says it's too late. Men need to be taught about family planning regardless of the fact that they can knock someone up until they die. Most men who want kids and are still single at 40 don't actually settle down and have kids with women fifteen years their junior. They just talk about "maybe having kids some day" forever.

I've known plenty of single men in their forties and fifties who talked about wanting kids. None of them had kids. I've also known women single women over 35 who wanted kids, and some of them had kids on their own.

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, you have agency over your own lives. No "man" is responsible for your happiness or failure to meet a goal. For every woman like this, theres also some man complaining how his wife "held him back" in some way. Nobody cares about the whining, from men or women. Your life is yours. Picked a bad man....own it. Men, picked a bad woman....you own your choices. Rearrange the genders above however you like to suit your situation.
All you're gonna get is a "I'm so sorry. that's terrible, how sad" and then people move on.

It's the lying that is so horrible. The fact that people lie to someone so intimate with them. These issues are considered nonmarriages in the church for a reason.

It's tragic and horrible that only men lie to women, and women never lie to men.

I believe there was a comment earlier about how this is done in the reverse as well. But the topic is specifically about men lying.

If he tells you the truth and then later changes his mind because his feelings have changed, was he lying?

When women tell you before you get married how often they want to have sex, and then that frequency diminishes after marriage because their feelings have changed, were they lying?

Yes. It is. You should not be making commitments you can't even try to keep. I mean it's one thing if something traumatic happens to you and you can't take care of a child or you can't have kids or can't have sex as in your example, but even then you should have some way of keeping that spirit and committment alive. We are talking about people who deliberately misleed their spouse though and there are many people like that or who say they are all in but they are lying to themselves and to their spouse.

I don't think there are many people like that at all - especially men who lie about wanting to have children. For one thing, having children is literally the only reason to get married at all from a man's point of view. Otherwise why not just cohabit without marrying? Another common reason for men to get married is because she gave him an ultimatum to get married and he caved in. In that scenario, did she say "oh by the way I also demand you make me pregnant soon" or was that just her hidden agenda? Probably not. So she was not fully honest with him. If she reveals her hidden baby agenda after she browbeats him into doing something he wouldn't otherwise do, then really it's hard to blame him for dragging his feet about going along with it.

Your post is nonsense. I know far too many men who got married after divorce just because they couldn't stand the idea of being alone. Divorced men marry much quicker than divorced women because of this. Also your comment about women forcing men to marry is also garbage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me.

Well I’m in a marriage where I haven’t had a child yet due to lack of interest and cooperation from my husband. Now I’m too terrified to leave as bow can I divorce, fall in love and have a baby with rapidly declining fertility?

Your husband doesn’t want kids with you. He also might not want to be married to you anymore and is hoping you divorce him over this so he doesn’t have to be the bad guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Jennifer Anniston story reminds me of this. So many times a man wastes a woman’s time only to divorce or leave her in her 30s and childless. While the man goes on to marry and have children the woman is left robbed of her fertile and out of time to have kids of her own.

This is criminal!

I think that JA is full of herself. If she wanted kids badly enough, she could have easily used an egg donor or adopted. She thinks her genes are all that and the kids need to be hers biologically; well that's how you end up with no kids. Adopted children were good enough for Angelina Jolie, a much, MUCH better looking woman and actress than Aniston.

Stop. Angelina jolie looks like the mummy and she has major issues. Aniston looks hot to this day and conserved her looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol, no one can steal your fertility. Up to you to leave.

What an insanely stupid post. Not surprising though for man hating dcum.

Men lead on, lie, and manipulate your feelings and emotions to keep you there. Unfortunately you're the only one in love and you wasted time on a horrible selfish man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

That’s fantastic.

I did not. I was a virgin and waiting for marriage. You lead me on wasted my years played with my emotions and wasted my time while cheating on date apps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women file for divorce 80% of the time. It is unlikely that a man simply divorces his wife for a younger woman.

Its a convenient mischaracterization to duck responsibility by blaming men for a woman's decline in fertility.

The typical woman spends her 20's exploring and dating around and then suddenly wants to find a "good man" in her early 30.
Many times, when a woman does find that "good man" he is not really her hearts desire but merely what she settled for because all her friends were getting married and she was feeling pressure to marry and have babies also.

She should have been figuring out husband and family in her early 20s.
Waiting until the last minute is unlikely to lead to good results.

+1. My husband’s ex wife divorced him when she was 34-35 because he had met someone else. That relationship didn’t work out. Then she met someone else, but could never have a baby. I know this because my husband still shares friend with ex wife.

Meanwhile DH and I have 3 kids… she was bad and mean to DH… so I am not too sad for her….

You only heard one side of the story. Men are the best liars.