What makes a 50+ year old woman think that she looks 25? Serious question.
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Anonymous
Same! I now have money to spend on things that I want and great vacations. Feel confident and no longer care what others think of me. Living my best life in my 50's |
Anonymous
Well, there may be elements of truth in your comments. I might be a little over invested in my daughter’s beauty, but I’d argue that I am more grown- up as a result. We all get a chance to be beautiful in the way that only youth brings, but some women refuse to graciously give way when their turn is over. Quit competing with your daughters and bragging about sharing clothes. There is beauty in every age for a woman. |
Anonymous
Agree with this. I have a 20 something daughter who is also objectively beautiful and has a very attractive, successful boyfriend. She is not "hit on" constantly. Some men look. But she's really never hit on. It was the same with me, 30 years ago. I always dated attractive men and married one. But I was never harassed constantly on the streets or whatnot. When women talk about this (as happening all the time--in any setting) I assume they are either 1)presenting themselves in an overtly sexual way or 2)confusing normal interaction with being hit on. |
Anonymous
Agreed. I think most good-looking women get looked at but I don't think getting hit on constantly is all that common. |
Anonymous
+1 !!!! |
Anonymous
I think you need to think that to make yourself feel better. |
Anonymous
+2. The fight to remain relevant is fierce. It's embarrassing when mothers try to compete/steal the spotlight from their daughters. That's a different kind of low. |
Anonymous
I have some of these friends as well. I adore them and love their company and it's not something they talk about all of the time but there are a few who truly believe they look much younger than they are. One I hadn't seen in years but talk with frequently and has told me all of the times she's been mistaken for much younger. When I finally saw her again in person, I was shocked because I really thought she would look young. Nope, she looked 50. Who am I to tell her she looks her age? What's behind it, I don't know? For a very small minority it might be competitive but for most is just a harmless delusion where they cannot be objective. Like when you are a parent or pet owner, you smugly think your child or dog is so much cuter than everyone else's. You look around and there is not much that will change your mind. Every time you get a compliment, it reinforces that view even more. For women who believe this, I don't think it's unhealthy but I do find it amusing. |
Anonymous
This is my MIL. She's 82 and looks very young for her age in the right lighting. She is always making passive aggressive comments about how old other people look and how other people tell her she looks young. She would never directly say, I look young. She tries to dress in styles intended for younger women but it comes across to me as a little undignified. She also never takes her sunglasses off when she's out because she wants to hide her under eye bags. My mother is the same age and looks younger than her 82 years but she handles it differently than my MIL. My mother dresses like a classy, mature woman and isn't obviously trying to come across as a 30 year old. |
Anonymous
Wow, so even the elderly are obsessed with looking young? Oh my. I understand a middle-aged person who is still getting accustomed to/mourning the idea of their fleeting youth but by old age, reality should be firmly in place. I guess it's a personality trait. I have middle-aged friends who do this too, and I assumed it would pass-- guess not. I certainly don't look forward to hearing how young they look until we die, lol. |
Anonymous
Why wouldn't they be this way in America? The elderly aren't not respected or valued. There is real ageism in the US. Workplace discrimination based on age is real. People treat elderly as if they are invisible and a bother---so if they don't want to be treated this way they fight it any way they can. |
Anonymous
Sorry, but I was hit on constantly when I was young and I didn't dress in a sexy way at all. Quite the opposite. I wasn't a knock out either -- but I was slim and had long blond hair. Apparently that's all it takes. I can say this with certainty because now that I'm older, that's disappeared. |
Anonymous
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Maybe it's a coping mechanism?
I'm 45 and I have zero wrinkles but I'm pretty sure I still look my age, and I'm not ashamed of that. |
Anonymous
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OP, I'm sure when I was in my early 40s, I would have thought the same thing about these women. But I was still looking like a snack at 41. I'm 49 now and... let's just say that my face is starting to show its age. At 41, I still had baby fat in my cheeks, my melasma was barely visible, my 11s were still only visible when I frowned, and my neck was still unlined and taut. Sometime between 45 and now, all of that started to go south. I imagine it will only accelerate leading up to and past menopause. In my minds eye, I still look like that 41 year old.
I have a 15 year old son. In less than a year's time he went from looking and sounding like a little boy to looking and sounding like a man. His new form and face still surprise me sometimes when he walks into a room. My brain hasn't adjusted to his new appearance. Even though the changes are less stark, I still think my brain hasn't adjusted to the changes in my own appearance either. |
Anonymous
Nope you’re not grown up if you’re “over invested” in your daughter’s beauty. You’re just as gross as those disgusting women who compete with their daughters, just in a different way. In either case, there’s too much focus on a young woman’s looks and it’s uncomfortable. Again, grow up. |