Tell me about redshirting your late summer/fall birthday son before Kindergarten

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My late November son started Kindergarten at 4 y.o. In NYC public, there is no option to redshirt.
He entered Stuy as a 13 year old freshman with a very high SHSAT score last fall.
He's never fallen behind academically.
Given his age, he has the luxury of taking a gap year after high school without feeling like he's on the older side when he starts college.

That is correct that redshirting in not allowed in New York. Rightfully so.

Only in public schools and even then it’s not as strict as you make out. Also, when the rest of the country allows it and NY doesn’t, maybe NY is wrong. God knows they are hardly a paradigm of exceptional education in other respects.

Allowing redshirting is a paradigm of exceptional education?

Yes.

God knows it sure is not the NYC public school system.

Because red-shirting every child is the way. Okay, you.
In your case, it may be justified to red-shirt you.

NP. Why do you care if other people choose to redshirt THEIR children? I don’t understand why the anti redshirting people feel so strongly about other parents’ choices. My DD was born in October, but were she born in august or September ai might have redshirted her. Either way, I don’t care what other people choose to do for THEIR kids. What is it to you? Does it put your child at a disadvantage? I don’t see the pro redshirting people care at all about parents that choose to send their kids on time… bizarre

You are so dense. Of course the pro redshirters “don’t care” that others send their kids on time. (They do care) That’s the point of redshirting, to not send kid on time which is what they do and want others to send in time. Otherwise, they would lose their “advantage.”

OP here. I can’t speak for all parents who redshirt, but I am considering redshirting not so my child has “an advantage,@ but rather so he’s not at a disadvantage being the youngest. Emily Oster wrote an article about the detriments of being the youngest in the class, particularly for boys- including lower test scores and higher likelihood of being diagnosed with ADHD. I just want my child to feel happy and be well adjusted. The rest is nice to have, but mostly I am just concerned for his well being and long term mental health. Some kids are fall babies and are able to thrive as the youngest in the class. I am concerned that my son may not be thriving in his position and am wondering if holding him back might help him. That’s all. I’m sorry this has become so contentious and there is so much name calling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Redshirted my July bday son now in seventh grade. I haven’t regretted it once! One of our best parenting decisions made based on the teacher’s recommendations.

Hahahhahahahaaahhah! “Best decision” and “teacher recommendation”. On repeat! Hahahhahahahahahah!

Such a bizarre response. You have parents with many years having passed since the decision was made and with time to see how it worked out. If you regret your redshirting decision, or decision not to redshirt, then share. But don’t presume to know what was best for other people’s kids.

I have shared. I regretted it. Kid skipped K. to make up for it. Years later, even with the developmental delays, holding back made no sense. Instead we addressed the issue so the child could be successful.

Great! So OP can read your experience and also read mine and make the decision that’s best for OP’s child. No need to bash those who made a different choice (and are thrilled with the results).

No one is bashing. We are concerned for kids whose parents choose to ignore their delays and special needs by holding them back a year vs. getting them the help they need to be successful. That is the point. If you are saying your child has delays, holding back doesn't change things, it delays things and these kids will always have the delays.

Yeah no. Replying “hahahaha” to someone else’s experience is absolutely bashing, and juvenile too.

DP-so what if someone replied in such a way. What does that have to do with the redshirting and delay issue, other than you trying to deflect?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My late November son started Kindergarten at 4 y.o. In NYC public, there is no option to redshirt.
He entered Stuy as a 13 year old freshman with a very high SHSAT score last fall.
He's never fallen behind academically.
Given his age, he has the luxury of taking a gap year after high school without feeling like he's on the older side when he starts college.

That is correct that redshirting in not allowed in New York. Rightfully so.

Only in public schools and even then it’s not as strict as you make out. Also, when the rest of the country allows it and NY doesn’t, maybe NY is wrong. God knows they are hardly a paradigm of exceptional education in other respects.

Allowing redshirting is a paradigm of exceptional education?

Yes.

God knows it sure is not the NYC public school system.

Because red-shirting every child is the way. Okay, you.
In your case, it may be justified to red-shirt you.

NP. Why do you care if other people choose to redshirt THEIR children? I don’t understand why the anti redshirting people feel so strongly about other parents’ choices. My DD was born in October, but were she born in august or September ai might have redshirted her. Either way, I don’t care what other people choose to do for THEIR kids. What is it to you? Does it put your child at a disadvantage? I don’t see the pro redshirting people care at all about parents that choose to send their kids on time… bizarre

You are so dense. Of course the pro redshirters “don’t care” that others send their kids on time. (They do care) That’s the point of redshirting, to not send kid on time which is what they do and want others to send in time. Otherwise, they would lose their “advantage.”

OP here. I can’t speak for all parents who redshirt, but I am considering redshirting not so my child has “an advantage,@ but rather so he’s not at a disadvantage being the youngest. Emily Oster wrote an article about the detriments of being the youngest in the class, particularly for boys- including lower test scores and higher likelihood of being diagnosed with ADHD. I just want my child to feel happy and be well adjusted. The rest is nice to have, but mostly I am just concerned for his well being and long term mental health. Some kids are fall babies and are able to thrive as the youngest in the class. I am concerned that my son may not be thriving in his position and am wondering if holding him back might help him. That’s all. I’m sorry this has become so contentious and there is so much name calling.

So, you are going to hold your child back because of generalizations and writers make about kids. My child had delays early on, eventually caught up. A fall kid, who went "early." Has top test scores, highest level classes and is thriving. No ADHD. Holding back can have the opposite effect as well. Send him on time and give him the resources to thrive. If he needs extra help, get it for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My late November son started Kindergarten at 4 y.o. In NYC public, there is no option to redshirt.
He entered Stuy as a 13 year old freshman with a very high SHSAT score last fall.
He's never fallen behind academically.
Given his age, he has the luxury of taking a gap year after high school without feeling like he's on the older side when he starts college.

That is correct that redshirting in not allowed in New York. Rightfully so.

Only in public schools and even then it’s not as strict as you make out. Also, when the rest of the country allows it and NY doesn’t, maybe NY is wrong. God knows they are hardly a paradigm of exceptional education in other respects.

Allowing redshirting is a paradigm of exceptional education?

Yes.

God knows it sure is not the NYC public school system.

Because red-shirting every child is the way. Okay, you.
In your case, it may be justified to red-shirt you.

NP. Why do you care if other people choose to redshirt THEIR children? I don’t understand why the anti redshirting people feel so strongly about other parents’ choices. My DD was born in October, but were she born in august or September ai might have redshirted her. Either way, I don’t care what other people choose to do for THEIR kids. What is it to you? Does it put your child at a disadvantage? I don’t see the pro redshirting people care at all about parents that choose to send their kids on time… bizarre

You are so dense. Of course the pro redshirters “don’t care” that others send their kids on time. (They do care) That’s the point of redshirting, to not send kid on time which is what they do and want others to send in time. Otherwise, they would lose their “advantage.”

OP here. I can’t speak for all parents who redshirt, but I am considering redshirting not so my child has “an advantage,@ but rather so he’s not at a disadvantage being the youngest. Emily Oster wrote an article about the detriments of being the youngest in the class, particularly for boys- including lower test scores and higher likelihood of being diagnosed with ADHD. I just want my child to feel happy and be well adjusted. The rest is nice to have, but mostly I am just concerned for his well being and long term mental health. Some kids are fall babies and are able to thrive as the youngest in the class. I am concerned that my son may not be thriving in his position and am wondering if holding him back might help him. That’s all. I’m sorry this has become so contentious and there is so much name calling.

It won’t matter as your child gets older. Send him on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Redshirted my July bday son now in seventh grade. I haven’t regretted it once! One of our best parenting decisions made based on the teacher’s recommendations.

Hahahhahahahaaahhah! “Best decision” and “teacher recommendation”. On repeat! Hahahhahahahahahah!

Such a bizarre response. You have parents with many years having passed since the decision was made and with time to see how it worked out. If you regret your redshirting decision, or decision not to redshirt, then share. But don’t presume to know what was best for other people’s kids.

I have shared. I regretted it. Kid skipped K. to make up for it. Years later, even with the developmental delays, holding back made no sense. Instead we addressed the issue so the child could be successful.

Great! So OP can read your experience and also read mine and make the decision that’s best for OP’s child. No need to bash those who made a different choice (and are thrilled with the results).

No one is bashing. We are concerned for kids whose parents choose to ignore their delays and special needs by holding them back a year vs. getting them the help they need to be successful. That is the point. If you are saying your child has delays, holding back doesn't change things, it delays things and these kids will always have the delays.

Yeah no. Replying “hahahaha” to someone else’s experience is absolutely bashing, and juvenile too.

DP-so what if someone replied in such a way. What does that have to do with the redshirting and delay issue, other than you trying to deflect?

Go back and read the thread above so you can understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My late November son started Kindergarten at 4 y.o. In NYC public, there is no option to redshirt.
He entered Stuy as a 13 year old freshman with a very high SHSAT score last fall.
He's never fallen behind academically.
Given his age, he has the luxury of taking a gap year after high school without feeling like he's on the older side when he starts college.

That is correct that redshirting in not allowed in New York. Rightfully so.

Only in public schools and even then it’s not as strict as you make out. Also, when the rest of the country allows it and NY doesn’t, maybe NY is wrong. God knows they are hardly a paradigm of exceptional education in other respects.

Allowing redshirting is a paradigm of exceptional education?

Yes.

God knows it sure is not the NYC public school system.

Because red-shirting every child is the way. Okay, you.
In your case, it may be justified to red-shirt you.

NP. Why do you care if other people choose to redshirt THEIR children? I don’t understand why the anti redshirting people feel so strongly about other parents’ choices. My DD was born in October, but were she born in august or September ai might have redshirted her. Either way, I don’t care what other people choose to do for THEIR kids. What is it to you? Does it put your child at a disadvantage? I don’t see the pro redshirting people care at all about parents that choose to send their kids on time… bizarre

You are so dense. Of course the pro redshirters “don’t care” that others send their kids on time. (They do care) That’s the point of redshirting, to not send kid on time which is what they do and want others to send in time. Otherwise, they would lose their “advantage.”

OP here. I can’t speak for all parents who redshirt, but I am considering redshirting not so my child has “an advantage,@ but rather so he’s not at a disadvantage being the youngest. Emily Oster wrote an article about the detriments of being the youngest in the class, particularly for boys- including lower test scores and higher likelihood of being diagnosed with ADHD. I just want my child to feel happy and be well adjusted. The rest is nice to have, but mostly I am just concerned for his well being and long term mental health. Some kids are fall babies and are able to thrive as the youngest in the class. I am concerned that my son may not be thriving in his position and am wondering if holding him back might help him. That’s all. I’m sorry this has become so contentious and there is so much name calling.

Emily Oster is not a pediatric neuropsychiatrist or an expert on the matter. Do not delay your child as you have no reason to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did with a June birthday. We just knew he wasn’t ready. Best decision ever. Turns out he has some leaning disabilities. Had we sent him on time he would have struggled even more than he is now.

Here’s that “best decision ever” that earlier post correctly stated every red-shirter just automatically says.

The best decision would have been to get that child evaluated early on and get them help.

You have no idea what was the best decision for my kid.

That was what was best with you if you just ignored the issues and delayed it a year. If your child had learning disabilities, you get them tested and help asap and not wait.

You are making the assumption that people that redshirt have learning disabilities.

That’s not true for any of the families that I know personally that have redshirted. Literally not a single one.

You say that like it’s a good thing.

That’s for the parents to determine. Face it: for some birthdays, they get a choice of when to send the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Redshirted my July bday son now in seventh grade. I haven’t regretted it once! One of our best parenting decisions made based on the teacher’s recommendations.

Hahahhahahahaaahhah! “Best decision” and “teacher recommendation”. On repeat! Hahahhahahahahahah!

Such a bizarre response. You have parents with many years having passed since the decision was made and with time to see how it worked out. If you regret your redshirting decision, or decision not to redshirt, then share. But don’t presume to know what was best for other people’s kids.

I have shared. I regretted it. Kid skipped K. to make up for it. Years later, even with the developmental delays, holding back made no sense. Instead we addressed the issue so the child could be successful.

Great! So OP can read your experience and also read mine and make the decision that’s best for OP’s child. No need to bash those who made a different choice (and are thrilled with the results).

No one is bashing. We are concerned for kids whose parents choose to ignore their delays and special needs by holding them back a year vs. getting them the help they need to be successful. That is the point. If you are saying your child has delays, holding back doesn't change things, it delays things and these kids will always have the delays.

Yeah no. Replying “hahahaha” to someone else’s experience is absolutely bashing, and juvenile too.

DP-so what if someone replied in such a way. What does that have to do with the redshirting and delay issue, other than you trying to deflect?

Go back and read the thread above so you can understand.

Again, so what. I don’t need to read the thread, it does not matter. You are hell bent on deflecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did with a June birthday. We just knew he wasn’t ready. Best decision ever. Turns out he has some leaning disabilities. Had we sent him on time he would have struggled even more than he is now.

Here’s that “best decision ever” that earlier post correctly stated every red-shirter just automatically says.

The best decision would have been to get that child evaluated early on and get them help.

You have no idea what was the best decision for my kid.

That was what was best with you if you just ignored the issues and delayed it a year. If your child had learning disabilities, you get them tested and help asap and not wait.

You are making the assumption that people that redshirt have learning disabilities.

That’s not true for any of the families that I know personally that have redshirted. Literally not a single one.

You say that like it’s a good thing.

That’s for the parents to determine. Face it: for some birthdays, they get a choice of when to send the kid.

Face it: parents make bad choices. When they affect others, it’s not okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My late November son started Kindergarten at 4 y.o. In NYC public, there is no option to redshirt.
He entered Stuy as a 13 year old freshman with a very high SHSAT score last fall.
He's never fallen behind academically.
Given his age, he has the luxury of taking a gap year after high school without feeling like he's on the older side when he starts college.

That is correct that redshirting in not allowed in New York. Rightfully so.

Only in public schools and even then it’s not as strict as you make out. Also, when the rest of the country allows it and NY doesn’t, maybe NY is wrong. God knows they are hardly a paradigm of exceptional education in other respects.

Allowing redshirting is a paradigm of exceptional education?

Yes.

God knows it sure is not the NYC public school system.

Because red-shirting every child is the way. Okay, you.
In your case, it may be justified to red-shirt you.

NP. Why do you care if other people choose to redshirt THEIR children? I don’t understand why the anti redshirting people feel so strongly about other parents’ choices. My DD was born in October, but were she born in august or September ai might have redshirted her. Either way, I don’t care what other people choose to do for THEIR kids. What is it to you? Does it put your child at a disadvantage? I don’t see the pro redshirting people care at all about parents that choose to send their kids on time… bizarre

You are so dense. Of course the pro redshirters “don’t care” that others send their kids on time. (They do care) That’s the point of redshirting, to not send kid on time which is what they do and want others to send in time. Otherwise, they would lose their “advantage.”

OP here. I can’t speak for all parents who redshirt, but I am considering redshirting not so my child has “an advantage,@ but rather so he’s not at a disadvantage being the youngest. Emily Oster wrote an article about the detriments of being the youngest in the class, particularly for boys- including lower test scores and higher likelihood of being diagnosed with ADHD. I just want my child to feel happy and be well adjusted. The rest is nice to have, but mostly I am just concerned for his well being and long term mental health. Some kids are fall babies and are able to thrive as the youngest in the class. I am concerned that my son may not be thriving in his position and am wondering if holding him back might help him. That’s all. I’m sorry this has become so contentious and there is so much name calling.

I’m a parent who redshirted with no regrets, but I am also the parent of another child, youngest in the grade, who I didn’t redshirt.

I’ve never once felt that for that child, being the youngest was detrimental at all. If your child is eager to learn, able to focus, has self confidence, loves to learn - don’t hesitate to send him/her on time simply out of fear that being the youngest will be a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did with a June birthday. We just knew he wasn’t ready. Best decision ever. Turns out he has some leaning disabilities. Had we sent him on time he would have struggled even more than he is now.

Here’s that “best decision ever” that earlier post correctly stated every red-shirter just automatically says.

The best decision would have been to get that child evaluated early on and get them help.

You have no idea what was the best decision for my kid.

That was what was best with you if you just ignored the issues and delayed it a year. If your child had learning disabilities, you get them tested and help asap and not wait.

You are making the assumption that people that redshirt have learning disabilities.

That’s not true for any of the families that I know personally that have redshirted. Literally not a single one.

You say that like it’s a good thing.

That’s for the parents to determine. Face it: for some birthdays, they get a choice of when to send the kid.

Face it: parents make bad choices. When they affect others, it’s not okay.

Not your choice. And the vast majority of redshirting parents DON’T think it was a bad choice.

[Anonymous]

We are at well known private school in DC. My DD is redshirted with an end of August birthday (sept 1st cutoff). She is doing great academically both on grade level tests (ERB) and on age adjusted tests (WISC)… she is basically in the 90th-99th percentile in everything. That said, the reason I redshirted was because she was and still is emotionally immature and was not as self confident in her abilities as most/all her class mates. She had trouble making friends, fit in, etc. She is just growing slower than her peers even from a physical development point of view which was not obvious in PK.
Redshirting was great for her and at the time was recommended by teachers and the school psychologist. She is never the oldest in the class, but she is usually top 5 (out of 20 kids). She has friends and is thriving. I am so glad I was able to hold her back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did with a June birthday. We just knew he wasn’t ready. Best decision ever. Turns out he has some leaning disabilities. Had we sent him on time he would have struggled even more than he is now.

Here’s that “best decision ever” that earlier post correctly stated every red-shirter just automatically says.

The best decision would have been to get that child evaluated early on and get them help.

You have no idea what was the best decision for my kid.

That was what was best with you if you just ignored the issues and delayed it a year. If your child had learning disabilities, you get them tested and help asap and not wait.

You are making the assumption that people that redshirt have learning disabilities.

That’s not true for any of the families that I know personally that have redshirted. Literally not a single one.

You say that like it’s a good thing.

That’s for the parents to determine. Face it: for some birthdays, they get a choice of when to send the kid.

Face it: parents make bad choices. When they affect others, it’s not okay.

Not your choice. And the vast majority of redshirting parents DON’T think it was a bad choice.

Well, what else are they going to say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Redshirted my July bday son now in seventh grade. I haven’t regretted it once! One of our best parenting decisions made based on the teacher’s recommendations.

Hahahhahahahaaahhah! “Best decision” and “teacher recommendation”. On repeat! Hahahhahahahahahah!

Such a bizarre response. You have parents with many years having passed since the decision was made and with time to see how it worked out. If you regret your redshirting decision, or decision not to redshirt, then share. But don’t presume to know what was best for other people’s kids.

I have shared. I regretted it. Kid skipped K. to make up for it. Years later, even with the developmental delays, holding back made no sense. Instead we addressed the issue so the child could be successful.

Great! So OP can read your experience and also read mine and make the decision that’s best for OP’s child. No need to bash those who made a different choice (and are thrilled with the results).

No one is bashing. We are concerned for kids whose parents choose to ignore their delays and special needs by holding them back a year vs. getting them the help they need to be successful. That is the point. If you are saying your child has delays, holding back doesn't change things, it delays things and these kids will always have the delays.

Yeah no. Replying “hahahaha” to someone else’s experience is absolutely bashing, and juvenile too.

DP-so what if someone replied in such a way. What does that have to do with the redshirting and delay issue, other than you trying to deflect?

Go back and read the thread above so you can understand.

Again, so what. I don’t need to read the thread, it does not matter. You are hell bent on deflecting.

It’s pure gaslighting to suggest that a response of HAHAHA is anything other than bashing. This sub thread was in response to that, and the subsequent false claim that “no one is bashing.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did with a June birthday. We just knew he wasn’t ready. Best decision ever. Turns out he has some leaning disabilities. Had we sent him on time he would have struggled even more than he is now.

Here’s that “best decision ever” that earlier post correctly stated every red-shirter just automatically says.

The best decision would have been to get that child evaluated early on and get them help.

You have no idea what was the best decision for my kid.

That was what was best with you if you just ignored the issues and delayed it a year. If your child had learning disabilities, you get them tested and help asap and not wait.

You are making the assumption that people that redshirt have learning disabilities.

That’s not true for any of the families that I know personally that have redshirted. Literally not a single one.

You say that like it’s a good thing.

That’s for the parents to determine. Face it: for some birthdays, they get a choice of when to send the kid.

Face it: parents make bad choices. When they affect others, it’s not okay.

Not your choice. And the vast majority of redshirting parents DON’T think it was a bad choice.

Well, what else are they going to say?

They can say they regretted their decision, like at least one other poster here has.