What's the worst thing your mom ever said/did to you?
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Anonymous
| "wish I would have aborted you." I"m pushing 50 and the last time she said that was during covid. The first time, I was maybe 12. |
Anonymous
She said could. It was just before Roe so she missed the opportunity to abort by months. |
Anonymous
I'm also 50 and posted a few days ago that my mom said if she knew I would be this way, she would've had an abortion. I was 14, I think. She only said it that one time, but we had a difficult relationship. I am so sorry your mom said it to you again recently. My mom and I managed to develop a nice relationship when I was in my late 20's. She died when I was 39 and it devastated me. I hope you let your mom know how hurtful those words are. Please tell her that it is unacceptable to speak to you that way. |
Anonymous
| I can't remember my mom saying anything that mean to me. She is generally a very kind and generous person. However, I do regret that she always stayed with my dad despite him calling her names and putting her down all the time. He was an awful parent to have in the household because he was so verbally abusive, lost his temper constantly and it was always his way or else. |
Anonymous
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I was driving her car in college and another car was speeding and crashed into me, and it totaled her car. It was a super scary accident, but, somehow I managed to walk away unharmed. Even though the other driver was speeding and caused the crash, I had a stop sign (which I had fully stopped at), and was the one written up as at fault.
She didn't want to have our insurance go up or have points on my license, so we went to court to try and not have the points assigned. After the fact she told me in a very unconcerned manner that she was glad that I was okay, but, that the court costs were really expensive. The money was what worried her more than my health or life. |
Anonymous
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My heart breaks for you all.
For the most part, it was mostly my dad who said and did cruel things. But my mom has her stuff too. She beat me with a wire hanger for staying up too late to do homework. After my dad used to beat us for minor things like leaving one of the house doors unlocked, she'd give us ice packs for our bruises, and would say "that's what you get for not listening" At special events: "why does your face look like that - go fix your makeup". "I'm glad you and your sister are such average children. Not too good, not too bad." After childbirth, I still had a bit of a belly. She would not let it go - she kept asking why I still had it, to go see a doctor, asked if I was pregnant again. |
Anonymous
| I was almost 12 when I had my first period she shamed me and said it was my fault for starting early and made me sleep on newspapers on the floor so I didn't dirty the bedding. Those were the worst years of my life and worst abuse I endured. She would also hit me and blame me anytime I got sick or a fever so I eventually stopped telling my parents anything. I finally was able to move far away when I got a job on the other side of the country. Then it took me years to come to terms what happened and finally in my 40s I went no contact with her and a cold and distant relationship with my dad. They are the worst narcissists pretend to not to know why I'm not talking to them anymore and say they love me and its all my fault. |
Anonymous
Sometimes we bring past interactions into other interactions. If you were to tell us your mom talked about finances before she knew you and the other driver okay or that she did not express absolute relief on the day on the accident, I would completely understand. But it sounds like you are saying that even months after the fact (because court cases take a while), your mother could not express anything about the added money that your family bore? Once you are okay, I do think it’s okay to remind young people of the financial ramifications of things like accident particularly if your family is going to pay for it. I suspect your mom made you feel she did not value you in other ways which is why this hit particularly hard. |
Anonymous
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There are too many examples to possibly list them all....but growing up, my mom would constantly tell me that she hoped I had a daughter one day that was as horrible as I was, so I would understand how it felt.
She would also remind me that she was thankful that she had other daughters that weren't like me. Good daughters. I never actually did anything horrible. Never broke any laws or any of the house rules. Never cut school. Had decent friends. But I didn't get great grades in school and that's what they focused on (of course, I had a serious learning disability which they knew about, but didn't tell me about or get me any help for....I guess their goal was to punish me into pulling myself up by my bootstraps and getting good grades. But that never worked out and they hated me for it. They were embarrassed by my disability and didn't want anyone to know. Also embarrassed by my Bs and Cs). |
Anonymous
| I have many "worst things" but this is a funny one -- my mom would regularly shop my closet without telling me, take what she liked, and then alter them to fit herself. |
Anonymous
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I got the "That never happened..." ALL the time.
I was the youngest child and mom told me if I went away to college, that I would be responsible for breaking up the family because she would divorce my dad. On my wedding day, my mom was in tears the entire day about how upset she was with my brother who drank too much. She never once congratulated me, or said I looked nice, or anything. |
Anonymous
| This is a whole thread exemplifying why we need to LISTEN to women when they say they don't want kids or don't want any more kids, esp for mental health reasons. Sometimes they are wisely judging that they could not handle it. I would like to think I'm incapable of the horrible abuses in this thread but I'd bet a lot of the abusive mothers thought they were, too, until they lost it under stress. |
Anonymous
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Mine told me I was so ungrateful, that she should have died of cancer when she had the chance.
All because I pushed back on something trivial, she wanted me to do. When she did have cancer, I flew to help her out about 8 times. |
Anonymous
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This is about my mil/fil. My only child's 10th birthday is today. No card, no call, no gift. She just asked me if they called. I lied and said I think their phone is broken. Could we call them? I said I don't think it would go through. She said...they would though, right? If their phone worked? I said oh I am sure.
It makes me so sick! My husband is through with them. They are completely selfish and horrible people. My poor kid. |
Anonymous
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PP with the mom who loved to proclaim I had such a wonderful childhood; my mom treated herself to a SOLO, 2 week vacation every summer (she’d usually visit a relative in a vacation locale) or a family friend and left my siblings and me alone with our alcoholic dad and my abuser.
Of course, once mom left, dad went on a massive bender. We were essentially trapped in our house and had to fend for ourselves and do our best to stay out of his way. Talk about living in fear; when our mom was around, we never were left home alone (all under 12) but so scary to have our dad announce he was going out and then be gone for hours. During one of his outings, we kept getting prank calls then hang ups. We ended up huddled in the corner crying and too afraid to pick up the phone that kept ringing every few minutes. He’d come home drunk and keep on drinking. I don’t recall our mom ever calling to check in on us or even asking how the week or two went without her. She didn’t care. |