My 2nd dd was a few months old and she told me you better keep yourself up or Dh will go somewhere else. That made me insecure and started me on the road to having issues my body that only plastic surgery could fix so to this day I look at myself and my flabby skin and wonder if dh loves me for me. |
"get over it/yourself/etccccc"
yes mom, thanks for the constant invalidation of my feelings. |
oh gosh not sure which was the worst.
As a teen I tried to do everything she wanted-get good grades, have friends she would approve of, not go out partying, but one little rebellion and she says "I would like to strangle you. I could just just grab your neck and twist it around!" Got a lot of "Get over it" like the PP After I went to a top school, got good grades, got into grad school, etc she still said "Parenting you is such a disappointment. Such a loser!" Now that she is old, bitter and mean, anytime I set boundaries I get "You are soooooooo SELFISH!" screamed at me or placed in a hostile text or email. Oh and she used to say things like "I may just murder your father in his sleep." If you knew her when she still could throw on the charm, you would never have suspected she was such a nut behind closed doors. |
It wasn’t one thing, just continual reinforcement that all of her crises came before me. So much attention and energy was given to her second husband and his kids in an attempt to contain the drama and volatility they brought to our house, there was nothing left for me.
But compared to a lot of these posts, it doesn’t seem that bad. |
My mom was physically abusive, she would chase me around the house and corner me in my bed and hit me.
She also called me a slur when I was 15 (I wasn’t sexually actively nor was I dating much). |
**slut, not slur |
Whenever my dad lost his job (he worked in a volatile industry), she would tell me to pack a bag because we were going to be homeless and say goodbye to our pets because they were going to be put down before we ended up on the street. This happened about every other year from ages 5-10. As an adult I have no idea why she said this, since 1) my dad always landed on his feet, 2) they had some money socked away, and 3) there are government programs available to help. |
"You're hopeless" |
You do realize some parents are abusive, right? My mom has BPD. She said a lot of stuff over the years. I’ve mostly repressed my childhood memories until about 3rd grade. I think the meanest thing she said was to my sister though. My sister invited her and our dad to her home for her child’s first birthday, not a big party, just cake and ice cream with my sister, her DH and their kids. My parents have social anxiety so they don’t go to parties. My mom said something like: no thanks, I only have 2 days left of my long weekend and I want to enjoy my time. |
Same. My family mocked me for being pale as a child. We were at the beach all the time and I had horrible sun burns constantly. I had malignant melanoma in my 20s. When I told my mother she told me she wasn't worried about me but was concerned for my brother and that he might have it. |
“I never wanted to have children.” |
Your father wanted to abort you.
When I attempted suicide by taking sleeping pills at age 15 while I was still in the hospital bed she said next time jump off a bridge and get the job done right. |
A friend of mine was going to study abroad and asked me to take over the administration of the LGBT Ally / safe space program at our university while she was gone. I was so excited so I called my mom and she said, “why waste your time helping them? They have their own people to help them.” That echoed in my head for such a long time.
About 2 decades later, she shared a cubicle with a lesbian woman who turned into one of her best friends. And now she says things like, “gays really aren’t that different from us.” Well, no sh*t. I’m glad she’s had her later in life change of heart, but man, it sure took a while. |
My heart hurts reading these.
|
Gave me a copy of “Sarah, Plain and Tall.”
My name is Sarah and I am very tall. |