NYTs Etiquette - "I Refused to Switch Seats on a Plane. Twice. Was I Wrong?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP solo traveler here. Agree that:

It is usually solo women (mature) who are asked to move

Airlines NEVER offered any kind of voucher to do so (multiple carriers)

Biggest acknowledgment I ever got was a free soft drink and a sincere thanks from a flight attendant, who candidly stated that my move prevented a melt-down from an entitled parent who would have created a scene.

My answer will remain NO from now on.

BIG so what if they create a scene? they don't get to hissy fit their way through life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve booked seats together that have gotten changed right before flight…. And then had to pay a premium to fix it. This is why I always check in early too. To know as soon as possible if it’s gotten bungled by the airline. It really does happen.

Sorry this lived experience doesn’t fit the gripe fest manifest….,

Don’t care. Still not switching.

We don’t need you too, little one. No need to pour. There, there.

Wow. Literate much?

Enjoy sitting in your middle seat away from your kids if you’re too cheap to buy the correct tickets. There, there.

Autocorrect dear one. And we all were seated together. You’re turning your own crank (again). Please wash your hands after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve booked seats together that have gotten changed right before flight…. And then had to pay a premium to fix it. This is why I always check in early too. To know as soon as possible if it’s gotten bungled by the airline. It really does happen.

Sorry this lived experience doesn’t fit the gripe fest manifest….,

Don’t care. Still not switching.

We don’t need you too, little one. No need to pour. There, there.

Wow. Literate much?

Enjoy sitting in your middle seat away from your kids if you’re too cheap to buy the correct tickets. There, there.

Autocorrect dear one. And we all were seated together. You’re turning your own crank (again). Please wash your hands after.

Typos intentional- in case you missed that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't read the article but I have seen the issue come up on various boards. In my opinion, being a family or traveling with kids doesn't entitle you to special treatment. When I travel with my family I pay to pick seats, early check-in, extra space - whatever I think we might need. If you're not willing to pay for that then you can't afford the trip. Other travelers have also paid for those services and they don't owe you anything.

I would like to live in a society that gives a little more grace and has a little more patience for society’s very young and very old (and their caretakers). Kindness is a value I love to see in companies and individuals alike.

Why are families the only ones deserving of kindness? Look at it this way--you have your loving family. Someone flying alone may be single and desperately lonely and sad about it. Who deserves the grace and compassion? It's this kind of myopia that makes parents of young children so repugnant at times.

Disclaimer: there's nothing intrinsically wrong with being single and many single people are happy and content.

Holy projection. Nowhere did I malign single people nor suggest they also aren’t deserving of grace and kindness. We all are. I believe American society suffers from a deep deficit of both. The several nasty responses to my quite benevolent post is proof of that.

I wonder where we’re headed from here.

The PP has a point. Solo travelers (not necessarily single as in marital status) are often targets for the "would you consider moving" pitch. It has happened to me many times. I feel the airline staff single us out, make the request with the parent/child standing there looking at us and then we are expected to smile graciously and give up our seats.

I did it for awhile and usually wound up in some horrid situation where I got a seat that didn't recline or next to an annoying person. I reminded myself that No good deed goes unpunished.
So I stopped.

Last time it was a very entitled, abrasive woman who wanted to shift around 3 people so she could get herself and her kids all seated together. She had gone up and down asking people (holding up boarding BTW) and had figured out a hopscotch pattern of moving other passengers simply to accommodate HER desires.

The kids were in their early teens! I just said "No. Sorry." and went back to reading my book.

To be more accurate, solo FEMALE travelers (especially over a certain age) are the first targets. Watch the next time it happens -- the flight attendants NEVER ask men to move.

My DW takes advantage of this on Southwest and eagerly volunteers to move -- last time she did that, she got $840 in vouchers.

I’ve taken vouchers to wait an hour.

Totally worth it!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't read the article but I have seen the issue come up on various boards. In my opinion, being a family or traveling with kids doesn't entitle you to special treatment. When I travel with my family I pay to pick seats, early check-in, extra space - whatever I think we might need. If you're not willing to pay for that then you can't afford the trip. Other travelers have also paid for those services and they don't owe you anything.

I would like to live in a society that gives a little more grace and has a little more patience for society’s very young and very old (and their caretakers). Kindness is a value I love to see in companies and individuals alike.

Why are families the only ones deserving of kindness? Look at it this way--you have your loving family. Someone flying alone may be single and desperately lonely and sad about it. Who deserves the grace and compassion? It's this kind of myopia that makes parents of young children so repugnant at times.

Disclaimer: there's nothing intrinsically wrong with being single and many single people are happy and content.

Holy projection. Nowhere did I malign single people nor suggest they also aren’t deserving of grace and kindness. We all are. I believe American society suffers from a deep deficit of both. The several nasty responses to my quite benevolent post is proof of that.

I wonder where we’re headed from here.

The PP has a point. Solo travelers (not necessarily single as in marital status) are often targets for the "would you consider moving" pitch. It has happened to me many times. I feel the airline staff single us out, make the request with the parent/child standing there looking at us and then we are expected to smile graciously and give up our seats.

I did it for awhile and usually wound up in some horrid situation where I got a seat that didn't recline or next to an annoying person. I reminded myself that No good deed goes unpunished.
So I stopped.

Last time it was a very entitled, abrasive woman who wanted to shift around 3 people so she could get herself and her kids all seated together. She had gone up and down asking people (holding up boarding BTW) and had figured out a hopscotch pattern of moving other passengers simply to accommodate HER desires.

The kids were in their early teens! I just said "No. Sorry." and went back to reading my book.

To be more accurate, solo FEMALE travelers (especially over a certain age) are the first targets. Watch the next time it happens -- the flight attendants NEVER ask men to move.

My DW takes advantage of this on Southwest and eagerly volunteers to move -- last time she did that, she got $840 in vouchers.

I’ve taken vouchers to wait an hour.

I did this once and the hour delay turned into a few hours as the next plane had "mechanical issues". So, won't make that mistake again.

Could have easily happened the opposite way, where your "later" flight left on time as the original flight sat around for 6 hours.

[Anonymous]

I don't blame people for not switching.

I do think it's total BS that airlines charge more for parents to sit with their children. It's just gouging a few more dollars and it's gross.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think this lady was wrong but I also think it’s weird she needs validation. She could have been kind and chose to let the opportunity pass her by. She should just sit in her discomfort about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't read the article but I have seen the issue come up on various boards. In my opinion, being a family or traveling with kids doesn't entitle you to special treatment. When I travel with my family I pay to pick seats, early check-in, extra space - whatever I think we might need. If you're not willing to pay for that then you can't afford the trip. Other travelers have also paid for those services and they don't owe you anything.

I would like to live in a society that gives a little more grace and has a little more patience for society’s very young and very old (and their caretakers). Kindness is a value I love to see in companies and individuals alike.

Why are families the only ones deserving of kindness? Look at it this way--you have your loving family. Someone flying alone may be single and desperately lonely and sad about it. Who deserves the grace and compassion? It's this kind of myopia that makes parents of young children so repugnant at times.

Disclaimer: there's nothing intrinsically wrong with being single and many single people are happy and content.

Holy projection. Nowhere did I malign single people nor suggest they also aren’t deserving of grace and kindness. We all are. I believe American society suffers from a deep deficit of both. The several nasty responses to my quite benevolent post is proof of that.

I wonder where we’re headed from here.

The PP has a point. Solo travelers (not necessarily single as in marital status) are often targets for the "would you consider moving" pitch. It has happened to me many times. I feel the airline staff single us out, make the request with the parent/child standing there looking at us and then we are expected to smile graciously and give up our seats.

I did it for awhile and usually wound up in some horrid situation where I got a seat that didn't recline or next to an annoying person. I reminded myself that No good deed goes unpunished.
So I stopped.

Last time it was a very entitled, abrasive woman who wanted to shift around 3 people so she could get herself and her kids all seated together. She had gone up and down asking people (holding up boarding BTW) and had figured out a hopscotch pattern of moving other passengers simply to accommodate HER desires.

The kids were in their early teens! I just said "No. Sorry." and went back to reading my book.

To be more accurate, solo FEMALE travelers (especially over a certain age) are the first targets. Watch the next time it happens -- the flight attendants NEVER ask men to move.

My DW takes advantage of this on Southwest and eagerly volunteers to move -- last time she did that, she got $840 in vouchers.

I’ve taken vouchers to wait an hour.

I did this once and the hour delay turned into a few hours as the next plane had "mechanical issues". So, won't make that mistake again.

Could have easily happened the opposite way, where your "later" flight left on time as the original flight sat around for 6 hours.

I'll take my chances because you will definitely wait an hour by switching, it's a sure thing. By the time you are volunteering to give up your seat you know if there will be a delay or not on the original flight. So, not "easily happened" much more of an unknown by switching. Not much of a gambler, eh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just tell them I'll move to first class cabin but not another seat.

Thanks. I’m totally using this next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve booked seats together that have gotten changed right before flight…. And then had to pay a premium to fix it. This is why I always check in early too. To know as soon as possible if it’s gotten bungled by the airline. It really does happen.

Sorry this lived experience doesn’t fit the gripe fest manifest….,

Don’t care. Still not switching.

We don’t need you too, little one. No need to pour. There, there.

Wow. Literate much?

Enjoy sitting in your middle seat away from your kids if you’re too cheap to buy the correct tickets. There, there.

Autocorrect dear one. And we all were seated together. You’re turning your own crank (again). Please wash your hands after.

Nope, good try. Autocorrect doesn’t change the correct usage of “to” to “too.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve booked seats together that have gotten changed right before flight…. And then had to pay a premium to fix it. This is why I always check in early too. To know as soon as possible if it’s gotten bungled by the airline. It really does happen.

Sorry this lived experience doesn’t fit the gripe fest manifest….,

Don’t care. Still not switching.

We don’t need you too, little one. No need to pour. There, there.

Wow. Literate much?

Enjoy sitting in your middle seat away from your kids if you’re too cheap to buy the correct tickets. There, there.

Autocorrect dear one. And we all were seated together. You’re turning your own crank (again). Please wash your hands after.

Nope, good try. Autocorrect doesn’t change the correct usage of “to” to “too.”

I hope your blood pressure medication is working better now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember when my oldest was a baby, I bought TWO seats, specifically so I could use one for his carseat. The flight was oversold, and the airline attendant brought on a standby person and expected me to give him my second seat, where my baby was. I pulled out both tickets, told her I had PAID for those seats, and I wasn't giving them up. She loudly said, "Well, I guess she's not going to help us out today," and escorted the standby passenger off the plane. She then proceeded to ignore me for the rest of the flight, asking everyone around me what they'd like to drink, etc. - but not me. I couldn't believe how arrogant she was, and I wrote an email to United afterwards.

If you pay for your seat(s), you should not be expected to move for someone else's convenience.

I had such a similar experience on United I was confused for a moment and thought I wrote this post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I remember when my oldest was a baby, I bought TWO seats, specifically so I could use one for his carseat. The flight was oversold, and the airline attendant brought on a standby person and expected me to give him my second seat, where my baby was. I pulled out both tickets, told her I had PAID for those seats, and I wasn't giving them up. She loudly said, "Well, I guess she's not going to help us out today," and escorted the standby passenger off the plane. She then proceeded to ignore me for the rest of the flight, asking everyone around me what they'd like to drink, etc. - but not me. I couldn't believe how arrogant she was, and I wrote an email to United afterwards.

If you pay for your seat(s), you should not be expected to move for someone else's convenience.

Yes, this sounds like my experiences on united. Awful!

I have had the worst experiences on United. I was once traveling back from London with my daughter who was about 20 months at the time, which I had done several times before. She was still young enough to be a lap child but I paid for a seat because it's too cramped to have a child on your left for that long. Even though I'd done this before without issue, on this particular flight, the flight attendant refused to give my child a meal. He said had to make sure he had enough meals for all the adults first. I was livid and said, but we paid for a seat for her so she should get a meal, but that apparently didn't matter. He brought me a pouch of applesauce instead. A 20 month old eats real food! Luckily, I had brought a few snacks, but that is a long time to be trapped on a plane and denied food. I complained to several of the other flight attendants and finally after I had given her my meal and he had fed all the other passengers, he finally brought her a meal because there were some "leftovers."

I'm the PPP who had bought the two seats and was asked to give one up for a standby passenger. This makes me livid. Of course your child should have been served a meal - she was sitting in a seat you PAID for! I will go out of my way to never, ever fly United again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't read the article but I have seen the issue come up on various boards. In my opinion, being a family or traveling with kids doesn't entitle you to special treatment. When I travel with my family I pay to pick seats, early check-in, extra space - whatever I think we might need. If you're not willing to pay for that then you can't afford the trip. Other travelers have also paid for those services and they don't owe you anything.

I would like to live in a society that gives a little more grace and has a little more patience for society’s very young and very old (and their caretakers). Kindness is a value I love to see in companies and individuals alike.

Why are families the only ones deserving of kindness? Look at it this way--you have your loving family. Someone flying alone may be single and desperately lonely and sad about it. Who deserves the grace and compassion? It's this kind of myopia that makes parents of young children so repugnant at times.

Disclaimer: there's nothing intrinsically wrong with being single and many single people are happy and content.

Holy projection. Nowhere did I malign single people nor suggest they also aren’t deserving of grace and kindness. We all are. I believe American society suffers from a deep deficit of both. The several nasty responses to my quite benevolent post is proof of that.

I wonder where we’re headed from here.

The PP has a point. Solo travelers (not necessarily single as in marital status) are often targets for the "would you consider moving" pitch. It has happened to me many times. I feel the airline staff single us out, make the request with the parent/child standing there looking at us and then we are expected to smile graciously and give up our seats.

I did it for awhile and usually wound up in some horrid situation where I got a seat that didn't recline or next to an annoying person. I reminded myself that No good deed goes unpunished.
So I stopped.

Last time it was a very entitled, abrasive woman who wanted to shift around 3 people so she could get herself and her kids all seated together. She had gone up and down asking people (holding up boarding BTW) and had figured out a hopscotch pattern of moving other passengers simply to accommodate HER desires.

The kids were in their early teens! I just said "No. Sorry." and went back to reading my book.

To be more accurate, solo FEMALE travelers (especially over a certain age) are the first targets. Watch the next time it happens -- the flight attendants NEVER ask men to move.

My DW takes advantage of this on Southwest and eagerly volunteers to move -- last time she did that, she got $840 in vouchers.

I've never seen anyone offered vouchers once they are boarded on the plane. The issue arises because they are asking people to move out of the goodness of their hearts, to take pity on the poor family who absolutely most sit all next to each other. No compensation is offered, just some puppy dog eyes and pleading for you to do the right thing when put on the spot. Even though you will now be in the back of the plane/middle seat/less leg room. It's always a downgrade.

You must not fly Southwest. They throw vouchers around like candy. We currently have four of them taped to the fridge -- two for moving seats, and two for giving up a seat on a two-leg flight (and then getting booked on a later but direct flight at no additional charge).

DP here. My family flies Southwest all the time and they don’t bump people because they don’t ever oversell their flights as other airlines do. They also do family boarding so that families are already all sitting together.

Yes, nothing EVER goes wrong on Southwest. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP solo traveler here. Agree that:

It is usually solo women (mature) who are asked to move

Airlines NEVER offered any kind of voucher to do so (multiple carriers)

Biggest acknowledgment I ever got was a free soft drink and a sincere thanks from a flight attendant, who candidly stated that my move prevented a melt-down from an entitled parent who would have created a scene.

My answer will remain NO from now on.

BIG so what if they create a scene? they don't get to hissy fit their way through life.

If it's a family who paid extra and planned ahead and the airlines sprang this on them, then yes, I'm glad the FA saw what was coming. But FAs and the airline in general should fix these things with better ways than the goodwill of other passengers. If there was an original algorithm to the plane seating with seats together, paying extra, etc., it's not that hard to put that algorithm into every other plane type with "best results", who needs to be compensated, options for First Class, etc.

It's really the airlines we need to be angry at. Also remember when they wouldn't put people in first class even if there were empty seats just because? Is that still going on?