NYTs Etiquette - "I Refused to Switch Seats on a Plane. Twice. Was I Wrong?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a family books together, they are on one file in the system. I find it hard to believe that an airline would break up a family if all reservations where made together AND seat assignments were made as well.

I've only been broken up one time and that was due to we had made the reservation initially, then added another reservation for more people. Same person called, but didn't know to make sure to add to the existing reservation, rather than start a new one. The system did not register us as flying together. So when a change happened with the plane, we were separated.

They do in fact do this! And they do in fact put families at the mercy of other passengers. Which is 100% the airlines fault. They should NEVER seat children under the age of 12 apart from their parents.

But I have certainly read horror stories about airlines switching configurations and NOT keeping families together. Even if they booked together. Their systems should make this possible, as it's easy to see who is a child on board since they have everyone's birthdays. But they will then tell people they are at the mercy of other passengers to sit together. It's ridiculous.

Now I don't think this guy should have to move. But the flight attendant should certainly find SOMEONE willing to move, and it needed compensate that person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you think?

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/03/style/airplane-seat-etiquette-social-qs.html

Personally, as a parent, I now realize that families really do need the bulkhead. If the guy wants to prioritize leg-room, he should book an exit row seat.

That said, I don't think he was wrong for refusing to give up his seat. He paid extra for it and those seats are not cheap (usually $50-100 extra)!

If families want to prioritize the bulkhead, then they should book the bulkhead.

As a family, I don't want the bulkhead. We need the underseat storage and I don't want to have to wait for everyone to get off to retrieve something in a behind row because there wasn't enough room. I don't know why other families prefer the bulkhead but this isn't a universal thing for all families. The mindset that this family "needs" that space is false.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a family books together, they are on one file in the system. I find it hard to believe that an airline would break up a family if all reservations where made together AND seat assignments were made as well.

I've only been broken up one time and that was due to we had made the reservation initially, then added another reservation for more people. Same person called, but didn't know to make sure to add to the existing reservation, rather than start a new one. The system did not register us as flying together. So when a change happened with the plane, we were separated.

It is both hard to believe and very common that airlines change seats to separate families after they have booked seats together.

[Anonymous]

I would not move unless the seat was equal or better (and I have a kid).

My SIL is cheap and will purposefully not book seats to save the $50/ticket and hope people are nice enough to move. It’s embarrassing and so annoying. I’ve told her multiple times if she wants to guarantee seats together she needs to pay for the ticket that lets you choose. People like this are why I won’t move.

[Anonymous]

I'm a mom of little kids and I refuse to move every single time. People have some nerve asking me to move from my nice aisle seat that I paid for to the MIDDLE seat so that them and their kids can sit together. Nope. Go ask a different middle seat person to move.

I'm a small, petite persona and have had tall men ask me to move too. Nope. What was wrong with your wallet when you were booking and they asked if you wanted to purchase a reserved seat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you think?

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/03/style/airplane-seat-etiquette-social-qs.html

Personally, as a parent, I now realize that families really do need the bulkhead. If the guy wants to prioritize leg-room, he should book an exit row seat.

That said, I don't think he was wrong for refusing to give up his seat. He paid extra for it and those seats are not cheap (usually $50-100 extra)!

If families want to prioritize the bulkhead, then they should book the bulkhead.

As a family, I don't want the bulkhead. We need the underseat storage and I don't want to have to wait for everyone to get off to retrieve something in a behind row because there wasn't enough room. I don't know why other families prefer the bulkhead but this isn't a universal thing for all families. The mindset that this family "needs" that space is false.

NP. The people who need the bulkhead are people traveling with infants who want to reserve the bulkhead bassinets for their babies to sleep in. Otherwise, yeah I'm with you. I don't want the bulkhead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you think?

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/03/style/airplane-seat-etiquette-social-qs.html

Personally, as a parent, I now realize that families really do need the bulkhead. If the guy wants to prioritize leg-room, he should book an exit row seat.

That said, I don't think he was wrong for refusing to give up his seat. He paid extra for it and those seats are not cheap (usually $50-100 extra)!

If families want to prioritize the bulkhead, then they should book the bulkhead.

As a family, I don't want the bulkhead. We need the underseat storage and I don't want to have to wait for everyone to get off to retrieve something in a behind row because there wasn't enough room. I don't know why other families prefer the bulkhead but this isn't a universal thing for all families. The mindset that this family "needs" that space is false.

Families with young babies like the bulkhead for access to the wall bassinet, if available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s behind a paywall so I can’t read the article and comment. Please remember not everyone has a subscription to NYT. These posts with links that people can’t see are annoying.

It does say NYT right in the subject. If you don't want to engage with NYT articles, maybe don't click? If you do want to engage, subscribe or go to the library and engage from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a family books together, they are on one file in the system. I find it hard to believe that an airline would break up a family if all reservations where made together AND seat assignments were made as well.

I've only been broken up one time and that was due to we had made the reservation initially, then added another reservation for more people. Same person called, but didn't know to make sure to add to the existing reservation, rather than start a new one. The system did not register us as flying together. So when a change happened with the plane, we were separated.

Not necessarily. I’ve sometimes broken our family of 4 into 2 reservations if I don’t have enough points for all of us. In that case, I put DH and DD in a middle and window seat, respectively, and DS and myself in another row, also window and middle seats. I’ve always chosen seats in advance. The only time it’s been an issue was when our original flight was delayed and we missed our connection. In that case, the rebooked SFO-IAD flight was completely (or almost completely) booked and the gate agent tried to put us in 4 middle seats. I told him my children were 6 months and 2 years old and I had brought car seats on board for both (I had purchased 4 seats total, including one for the baby). Because car seats are required to be in window seats, the kids received window seats and DH and I each sat in a middle seat next to each child.

[Anonymous]

PP here. I meant aisle and middle above, not aisle and window.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe people are so quick to blame the customers and not the airlines for their stupid policies. Yes airlines break up families who have seat assignments together. Check your contract of carriage.

Technically when you reserve a seat, even if you pay, you are not really reserving a seat. It’s a contract with the airline to get you from point A to point B. FYI. So in honoring your petty request to not be reseated In favor of a family who might need the bulkhead for the bassinet, the Flight attendant is actually doing you a favor.

I'm pretty sure "petty" and the extra cost of those seats don't go together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't read the article but I have seen the issue come up on various boards. In my opinion, being a family or traveling with kids doesn't entitle you to special treatment. When I travel with my family I pay to pick seats, early check-in, extra space - whatever I think we might need. If you're not willing to pay for that then you can't afford the trip. Other travelers have also paid for those services and they don't owe you anything.

I think the problem is often on the airline. We have had situations where we did book early and chose seats together, but the airline switched planes at the last minute or a flight delay caused us to get bumped to a different connecting flight. In those cases, you are not guaranteed to get seats together. My youngest is now 4, so it won’t be a problem for us for much longer, but it is not always the family’s fault. I only had one situation where someone wouldn’t switch with us and my then 7 year-old was able to handle sitting next to strangers for the flight since he had his iPad. I was able to sit with my 5 and 2 year old. I did find it weird that they guy who wouldn’t switch was willing to sit next to my two year old for the whole flight but not sit a few rows back. Both seats were aisle seats. I feel like he just wanted to be a jerk. I was kind of hoping my two year-old spilled something on him, but he was actually really well behaved.

The seats a few rows back sometimes have less legroom. In addition, maybe he had a connecting flight and wanted to be as close to the front as possible. Also, sometimes sitting for the back can make people more plane sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't read the article but I have seen the issue come up on various boards. In my opinion, being a family or traveling with kids doesn't entitle you to special treatment. When I travel with my family I pay to pick seats, early check-in, extra space - whatever I think we might need. If you're not willing to pay for that then you can't afford the trip. Other travelers have also paid for those services and they don't owe you anything.

I think the problem is often on the airline. We have had situations where we did book early and chose seats together, but the airline switched planes at the last minute or a flight delay caused us to get bumped to a different connecting flight. In those cases, you are not guaranteed to get seats together. My youngest is now 4, so it won’t be a problem for us for much longer, but it is not always the family’s fault. I only had one situation where someone wouldn’t switch with us and my then 7 year-old was able to handle sitting next to strangers for the flight since he had his iPad. I was able to sit with my 5 and 2 year old. I did find it weird that they guy who wouldn’t switch was willing to sit next to my two year old for the whole flight but not sit a few rows back. Both seats were aisle seats. I feel like he just wanted to be a jerk. I was kind of hoping my two year-old spilled something on him, but he was actually really well behaved.

The seats a few rows back sometimes have less legroom. In addition, maybe he had a connecting flight and wanted to be as close to the front as possible. Also, sometimes sitting for the back can make people more plane sick.

Oh also, a lot of times the seats a few rows in front just buy a few rows can cost more.

And it’s kind of entitled and obnoxious to wish that your kids spilled something on someone

[Anonymous]

I don’t like how the airlines nickel and dime everything these days and I don’t think you should have to pay extra to sit together. But as it is - if that’s the way it is - that’s the way it is. You don’t have to get up for a family to sit together but I like his suggestion to ask for an upgrade to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you think?

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/03/style/airplane-seat-etiquette-social-qs.html

Personally, as a parent, I now realize that families really do need the bulkhead. If the guy wants to prioritize leg-room, he should book an exit row seat.

That said, I don't think he was wrong for refusing to give up his seat. He paid extra for it and those seats are not cheap (usually $50-100 extra)!

What is the question? If I am separated, I go to the family member furthest back and offer an upgrade to sit in the back with them. If someone is equal, I offer to buy them a snack or water for their trouble. A healthy 14 year-old kid can often fly just fine without the ibs, dvt, nausea, height anxiety that adults who pay extra often do. The thing that is ridiculous is how dumb heavyset businessmen are when it comes to puddlejumper aerodynamics. Pilots keep saying the plane is unbalanced (when the algorithm for large planes fills back to front) and they need more weight in the back. The plane stays grounded so as an under 100 lbs mini-person I offer to go to the back giving up my bulkhead which I specifically request due to back pain. The planes is still unbalanced so we stay grounded for 10 more minutes unless a 275+ plus guy moves back. Then they complain that they were fat discriminated even when EVERYONE was requested. I don't mind because if they boycott the airline, it is more pleasant for me. Spirit may have its issues but creepy passengers hitting on women or large encroachers complaining about moving to the back isn't one of them.