“Be a mom”

[Anonymous]

Hire a nanny, call in sick, quit your job. But do NOT ASK YOUR ABUSIVE MOM TO CARE FOR YOUR CHILDREN.

Your mom does not belong in your life.

[Anonymous]

Neither my parents nor my inlaws were willing/interesting in helping with childcare. We managed.

You don’t need your mom to watch your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Neither my parents nor my inlaws were willing/interesting in helping with childcare. We managed.

You don’t need your mom to watch your kids.

This. We never got an hour of childcare and it was okay.

Protect yourself and your kids, please.

[Anonymous]

I’ll watch your kids! Get a nanny or babysitter, not your mom.

[Anonymous]

I'm another person who had zero family help and managed. Sometimes I had to just miss an important meeting or hire an expensive back-up nanny service, but we did it. I had a toxic family and I would quit my job before I'd let my family members be alone with my kids. You need to stop relying on your mother and get therapy to reevaluate your family ties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mom was physically and emotionally abusive and you are going to let her watch your kids? I am so sorry for what you have been through but I think this is a horrible, horrible decision.

THIS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Just no. Why are you doing this to yourself instead of finding a sitter???

DH is opposed to a sitter. My mol is good with the grandkids. Once it did look like she wanted to hit my 4 yr old son, but she refrained. If she ever hit him, she’d never see any of them again.

OP, I understand how hard it is to draw boundaries with abusive family members. When everyone pretends the abuse didn’t happen, it’s hard to draw those lines, especially when you need help and it seems like you should be able to rely on family.

But you are basically saying your preschooler can be a test case to see if your mom is still abusive.This is the logic of an abused person, but it’s not the safest decision to make for your children. You need to make sure they have no time alone with someone who might hurt them.

[Anonymous]

I agree with most that I would not use her. You should just respond "that's rich" because obviously she was awful. Good luck with your week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mom was physically and emotionally abusive and you are going to let her watch your kids? I am so sorry for what you have been through but I think this is a horrible, horrible decision.

+1

+2

Get a babysitter or nanny

[Anonymous]

Your DH is opposed to a sitter??? Then he gets to take the day off to handle the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DH is opposed to a sitter??? Then he gets to take the day off to handle the kids.

This. If he had a sitter with this same known background would he be ok with it??!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH is opposed to a sitter??? Then he gets to take the day off to handle the kids.

This. If he had a sitter with this same known background would he be ok with it??!

Obviously the DH is aware of the background here and doesn’t care. It’s so extreme and he doesn’t seem to mind!

[Anonymous]

Your mother should be the last person watching your kids. I know you're in a tough spot, but work isn't more important. I mean, are you both pitching some huge new business or something at the exact same time?

[Anonymous]

"She almost hit my 4yo but refrained..." girl, she "refrained" because YOU WERE THERE TO SEE IT. She would/will absolutely have hit him if you weren't around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Just no. Why are you doing this to yourself instead of finding a sitter???

This woman abused you. I would move heaven and earth to avoid her being alone with my kids. A random college student from Facebook would be better to watch your kids than your mother.

Build your own childcare infrastructure. Do not rely on mom. There are a million better options.