“Be a mom”

[Anonymous]

Ugh, sorry OP. I am also an abuse survivor by my dad and my mother both admits and says sorry, but minimizes it. It's really hard to say that it wouldn't be okay for someone like that to take care of your kids when you come from what we do. I get it.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to join the chorus saying- please find a good sitter or nanny and do NOT let your mother provide childcare. She's not trustworthy and is still engaging in behaviors meant to hurt you.

[Anonymous]

Is your DH controlling and abusive? Because I can't imagine any sane parent not wanting a sitter and preferring an abusive grandmother. Get therapy OP. Protect your kids.

[Anonymous]

Why is your husband opposed to a sitter but perfectly willing to a allow a child abuser around his kids?

You both need boundaries.

[Anonymous]

OP here. My mom took DS to the store with her and hasn't come back yet, two hours later. Not sure where they could be, but I'm sure she's just trying to scare me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. My mom took DS to the store with her and hasn't come back yet, two hours later. Not sure where they could be, but I'm sure she's just trying to scare me.

How exactly is this better than a sitter? Come on!

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP, but as someone who also had an abusive parent, no way in hell I would've asked her to babysit my kids. I would've paid extra money to babysitters.

[Anonymous]

Why is your mom taking a sick kid to the store?! Troll

[Anonymous]

Is your DH making childcare difficult to try and force you out of the workplace? One he does that... will the controlling behavior stop, or continue to grow?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here. My mom took DS to the store with her and hasn't come back yet, two hours later. Not sure where they could be, but I'm sure she's just trying to scare me.

How exactly is this better than a sitter? Come on!

Update OP? I would have called the cops on missing child. Do not leave kid alone with your mom. You or DH take some days off this is an emergency. I would not be fooling around waiting for my child to be abused too.

[Anonymous]

OP, your mom is right. Be a mom. As in protect your children. They should not be around your mother. At best, she's toxic. But it's just a matter of time before she abuses them. So be a mom. Get therapy to deal with the issues the abuse has caused and get her out of your children's lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Just no. Why are you doing this to yourself instead of finding a sitter???

DH is opposed to a sitter. My mol is good with the grandkids. Once it did look like she wanted to hit my 4 yr old son, but she refrained. If she ever hit him, she’d never see any of them again.

Who are you trying to fool? Of course she would see them again, because you've long passed the point at which any reasonable person would stop having their parents come around.

I have to agree with this. Why are you even here OP you know this and you know most sane people will think this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Just no. Why are you doing this to yourself instead of finding a sitter???

DH is opposed to a sitter. My mol is good with the grandkids. Once it did look like she wanted to hit my 4 yr old son, but she refrained. If she ever hit him, she’d never see any of them again.

Who are you trying to fool? Of course she would see them again, because you've long passed the point at which any reasonable person would stop having their parents come around.

I have to agree with this. Why are you even here OP you know this and you know most sane people will think this.

Because OP never dealt with all the abuse so her thought process is extremely distorted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is your mom taking a sick kid to the store?! Troll

Yeah right and left your other kid at home by him/herself? Unless you are working at home and then should have been able to supervise the kids without calling in an abuser who has threatened your kids before. Troll is right, popping back up to post little details every so often to get people concerned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is a problem.

I think what your mom meant by “be a mom” is get control of your kids and get them to stop fighting. You can separate them, motivate them to compromise, etc.

Yes, that's what she meant. It's still super obnoxious and unhelpful, especially from a mom who allowed her child to be sexually abused and was ABUSIVE herself.

OP, if she almost hit your son in front of you, what do you think she's doing when you aren't there? Tell DH you are getting a babysitter for the kids' safety or he can stay home with them. Those are the options.