Twin boy in pull ups telling his brother he'd rather wear diapers?

[Anonymous]

PP here.

You also might need to be a bit prepared for him potentially regressing a bit. If he's wearing diapers, he's likely going to be peeing in them without making much of an effort to run to the potty (if that's the approach you were taking before).

From what I can gather from his background, this would probably be fine. If it were my kids, I'd be inclined to let him regress a little with the diapers, especially if his twin is on board with it. It might be healing in a way, and help him gain trust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Given that you only recently started taking care of them and that they had what sounds like a lot of instability before then, I would assume that both are dealing with a fair amount of trauma. If he would be more comfortable in diapers, let him have diapers. You don't need to tell him that his brother said anything. You can just offer diapers to him if he'd be more comfortable.

Well, as of about 20 minutes ago, we're now the proud new owners of a (surprisingly HEAVY??) large box of Huggies Overnight diapers.

I went out and bought them in DS's size without saying anything beforehand. Just walked in and he took one look at the box and just said "...are those for me?"

Lord!

[Anonymous]

Hi. I have twin boys that will be 10 in a few weeks. Twin B potty trained easily at 2.5 years old. He was nighttime trained at about 4.


Twin A, however, has problems with transitions. He has always rejected doing things until he was ready to do them. I remember in daycare when he was 2, that the teacher had a loose schedule that she kept. Each time she moved to another part of the schedule (like playtime to circle time, circle time to snack time, etc) twin A would rebel. He would be playing and "not be done" and would have a fit wanting to finish what he was doing. When we tried potty training at 2.5 years old, Twin A, did not want to do it. He would hide and pee on the floor, or he would just sit and wet his pants and keep playing without letting us know. We tried twice, at 2 yr 6 mo (when Twin B succeeded) and again at 2 yr 9 mo. Both times, Twin A, just wouldn't do it and wouldn't cooperate.

At age 3, we put the twins into Montessori, in part because of the self-guided nature of the teaching structure. We figured that this would make it easier on Twin A giving him more control over what he was learning. However, the problem was that Twin A was not potty-trained and the Montessori school required that. So we had Twin A in the local Kindercare at first. After about 6 weeks, the Montessori schoold had "show off your classroom night". We went with both boys and Twin B showed us the room, the various stations, the various learning tools that they had. Twin A loved it there. He spent the entire hour visit exploring and trying out the tools, etc. When he asked why he couldn't go there, we told him that they were holding a place for him, but he wasn't allowed to go there until he was potty trained. He started using the potty the next day. 3 days he was mostly potty trained. 2 weeks later he was potty trained with no accidents for a week. He really wanted to go to that school!

So, Twin A was potty trained at age 3 because he wanted it. But there was nothing controlling his nighttime training. Twin A ended up wearing nightpants until age 7. He went to a camp that summer. It was a 5-day day camp, but on Thursday night, they got to stay overnight and camp until the next morning. He was fine with the nightpants. He went to the bathroom, got into a stall, changed to nightpants and loose baggy pajamas and the other kids were none the wiser that he was wearing night pants. But I think that was when he decided he was "ready". Prior to that camp he was waking up between 2-5 nights a week with wet night pants. After that camp, it decreased steadily. By about 2 months after the camp (just after his 8th birthday), he was pretty consistently dry in the morning and switched to pajamas. That was almost 2 years ago. He's been fine.

When it comes to night training, that's a lot harder for some kids because it happens subconsciously when they are sleeping. So they have to be "ready" to night train. As you can see from my tiwns, potty and night trained in completely different cycles and there wasn't much that we could do about it. It was really about the child being ready for it.

OP--I would make the night pants and nighttime diapers available to your twin and let him pick. Every few months, you can can talk to him about it, but it's normal that they may be on different schedules and you shouldn't pressure him to night train. You can encourage him, but don't put pressure that he needs to do it. It will happen when he is ready, but consciously and subconsciously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi. I have twin boys that will be 10 in a few weeks. Twin B potty trained easily at 2.5 years old. He was nighttime trained at about 4.


Twin A, however, has problems with transitions. He has always rejected doing things until he was ready to do them. I remember in daycare when he was 2, that the teacher had a loose schedule that she kept. Each time she moved to another part of the schedule (like playtime to circle time, circle time to snack time, etc) twin A would rebel. He would be playing and "not be done" and would have a fit wanting to finish what he was doing. When we tried potty training at 2.5 years old, Twin A, did not want to do it. He would hide and pee on the floor, or he would just sit and wet his pants and keep playing without letting us know. We tried twice, at 2 yr 6 mo (when Twin B succeeded) and again at 2 yr 9 mo. Both times, Twin A, just wouldn't do it and wouldn't cooperate.

At age 3, we put the twins into Montessori, in part because of the self-guided nature of the teaching structure. We figured that this would make it easier on Twin A giving him more control over what he was learning. However, the problem was that Twin A was not potty-trained and the Montessori school required that. So we had Twin A in the local Kindercare at first. After about 6 weeks, the Montessori schoold had "show off your classroom night". We went with both boys and Twin B showed us the room, the various stations, the various learning tools that they had. Twin A loved it there. He spent the entire hour visit exploring and trying out the tools, etc. When he asked why he couldn't go there, we told him that they were holding a place for him, but he wasn't allowed to go there until he was potty trained. He started using the potty the next day. 3 days he was mostly potty trained. 2 weeks later he was potty trained with no accidents for a week. He really wanted to go to that school!

So, Twin A was potty trained at age 3 because he wanted it. But there was nothing controlling his nighttime training. Twin A ended up wearing nightpants until age 7. He went to a camp that summer. It was a 5-day day camp, but on Thursday night, they got to stay overnight and camp until the next morning. He was fine with the nightpants. He went to the bathroom, got into a stall, changed to nightpants and loose baggy pajamas and the other kids were none the wiser that he was wearing night pants. But I think that was when he decided he was "ready". Prior to that camp he was waking up between 2-5 nights a week with wet night pants. After that camp, it decreased steadily. By about 2 months after the camp (just after his 8th birthday), he was pretty consistently dry in the morning and switched to pajamas. That was almost 2 years ago. He's been fine.

When it comes to night training, that's a lot harder for some kids because it happens subconsciously when they are sleeping. So they have to be "ready" to night train. As you can see from my tiwns, potty and night trained in completely different cycles and there wasn't much that we could do about it. It was really about the child being ready for it.

OP--I would make the night pants and nighttime diapers available to your twin and let him pick. Every few months, you can can talk to him about it, but it's normal that they may be on different schedules and you shouldn't pressure him to night train. You can encourage him, but don't put pressure that he needs to do it. It will happen when he is ready, but consciously and subconsciously.

I'm glad your boys were able to get there eventually! My twins aren't even close to being majorly into camp--but I've already stressed out about the possibility of twin2 jumping into that whole debacle...I'm glad it worked out for your LO though! That certainly gives me hope.

I just got done filling half of a drawer in their bedroom with diapers, so now he'll have access to both those, and pull-ups, for him to pick out each night. Talked with both boy there to hear and let twin2 know he can chose for himself (he picked a diaper, for tonight).

One question I had that I'd been a bit unsure about...should we have specifically different *rules*, for what is OK and not-OK, when he has a diaper on, vs a pull up...?

To be very blunt, twin2 asked if he wakes up in the middle of the night, and needs to 'go' if he'd be allowed to pee, if he has a diaper on. I wasn't sure how to answer him with this, so told him to let me consider it for a bit. WWYD here..?

Also, twin1 asked if he could wear a football helmet tonight, which his brother found very funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi. I have twin boys that will be 10 in a few weeks. Twin B potty trained easily at 2.5 years old. He was nighttime trained at about 4.


Twin A, however, has problems with transitions. He has always rejected doing things until he was ready to do them. I remember in daycare when he was 2, that the teacher had a loose schedule that she kept. Each time she moved to another part of the schedule (like playtime to circle time, circle time to snack time, etc) twin A would rebel. He would be playing and "not be done" and would have a fit wanting to finish what he was doing. When we tried potty training at 2.5 years old, Twin A, did not want to do it. He would hide and pee on the floor, or he would just sit and wet his pants and keep playing without letting us know. We tried twice, at 2 yr 6 mo (when Twin B succeeded) and again at 2 yr 9 mo. Both times, Twin A, just wouldn't do it and wouldn't cooperate.

At age 3, we put the twins into Montessori, in part because of the self-guided nature of the teaching structure. We figured that this would make it easier on Twin A giving him more control over what he was learning. However, the problem was that Twin A was not potty-trained and the Montessori school required that. So we had Twin A in the local Kindercare at first. After about 6 weeks, the Montessori schoold had "show off your classroom night". We went with both boys and Twin B showed us the room, the various stations, the various learning tools that they had. Twin A loved it there. He spent the entire hour visit exploring and trying out the tools, etc. When he asked why he couldn't go there, we told him that they were holding a place for him, but he wasn't allowed to go there until he was potty trained. He started using the potty the next day. 3 days he was mostly potty trained. 2 weeks later he was potty trained with no accidents for a week. He really wanted to go to that school!

So, Twin A was potty trained at age 3 because he wanted it. But there was nothing controlling his nighttime training. Twin A ended up wearing nightpants until age 7. He went to a camp that summer. It was a 5-day day camp, but on Thursday night, they got to stay overnight and camp until the next morning. He was fine with the nightpants. He went to the bathroom, got into a stall, changed to nightpants and loose baggy pajamas and the other kids were none the wiser that he was wearing night pants. But I think that was when he decided he was "ready". Prior to that camp he was waking up between 2-5 nights a week with wet night pants. After that camp, it decreased steadily. By about 2 months after the camp (just after his 8th birthday), he was pretty consistently dry in the morning and switched to pajamas. That was almost 2 years ago. He's been fine.

When it comes to night training, that's a lot harder for some kids because it happens subconsciously when they are sleeping. So they have to be "ready" to night train. As you can see from my tiwns, potty and night trained in completely different cycles and there wasn't much that we could do about it. It was really about the child being ready for it.

OP--I would make the night pants and nighttime diapers available to your twin and let him pick. Every few months, you can can talk to him about it, but it's normal that they may be on different schedules and you shouldn't pressure him to night train. You can encourage him, but don't put pressure that he needs to do it. It will happen when he is ready, but consciously and subconsciously.

I'm glad your boys were able to get there eventually! My twins aren't even close to being majorly into camp--but I've already stressed out about the possibility of twin2 jumping into that whole debacle...I'm glad it worked out for your LO though! That certainly gives me hope.

I just got done filling half of a drawer in their bedroom with diapers, so now he'll have access to both those, and pull-ups, for him to pick out each night. Talked with both boy there to hear and let twin2 know he can chose for himself (he picked a diaper, for tonight).

One question I had that I'd been a bit unsure about...should we have specifically different *rules*, for what is OK and not-OK, when he has a diaper on, vs a pull up...?

To be very blunt, twin2 asked if he wakes up in the middle of the night, and needs to 'go' if he'd be allowed to pee, if he has a diaper on. I wasn't sure how to answer him with this, so told him to let me consider it for a bit. WWYD here..?

Also, twin1 asked if he could wear a football helmet tonight, which his brother found very funny.

I would tell him that that's his body waking him up to go to the bathroom, which is a great thing and that he should listen to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Given that you only recently started taking care of them and that they had what sounds like a lot of instability before then, I would assume that both are dealing with a fair amount of trauma. If he would be more comfortable in diapers, let him have diapers. You don't need to tell him that his brother said anything. You can just offer diapers to him if he'd be more comfortable.

This. And thank you for taking of these little ones.

[Anonymous]

You are a wonderful person, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

One question I had that I'd been a bit unsure about...should we have specifically different *rules*, for what is OK and not-OK, when he has a diaper on, vs a pull up...?

To be very blunt, twin2 asked if he wakes up in the middle of the night, and needs to 'go' if he'd be allowed to pee, if he has a diaper on. I wasn't sure how to answer him with this, so told him to let me consider it for a bit. WWYD here..?

Also, twin1 asked if he could wear a football helmet tonight, which his brother found very funny.

I'm gonna go against the grain here somewhat and say if it were my kid? I'd just let him pee in it.

These boys sound like they've been through a lot. Save working on potty training for when you you eventually move him to pullups. It won't kill him to pee in a diaper, he certainly wouldn't be the first kid to sleep in a wet diaper. He'll be fine. Let them both get some sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are a wonderful person, OP.

Thank you! I'd say the same about everyone here! I sort of was at a loss with a hundred and a half small little things about parenting that have been MUCH different from just being an aunt. But so many people have jumped to help me out whenever something tricky has come up. It means the world! Particularly during the pandemic, it's helped immensely to be able to ask for help with getting these boys into a good situation where I can feel like I'm doing some good in looking after them.

...and I have DCUM to thank for helping with that in a big way!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

One question I had that I'd been a bit unsure about...should we have specifically different *rules*, for what is OK and not-OK, when he has a diaper on, vs a pull up...?

To be very blunt, twin2 asked if he wakes up in the middle of the night, and needs to 'go' if he'd be allowed to pee, if he has a diaper on. I wasn't sure how to answer him with this, so told him to let me consider it for a bit. WWYD here..?

Also, twin1 asked if he could wear a football helmet tonight, which his brother found very funny.

I'm gonna go against the grain here somewhat and say if it were my kid? I'd just let him pee in it.

These boys sound like they've been through a lot. Save working on potty training for when you you eventually move him to pullups. It won't kill him to pee in a diaper, he certainly wouldn't be the first kid to sleep in a wet diaper. He'll be fine. Let them both get some sleep.

(OP here)

I'm somewhat waffling on this a bit. Mostly because I'm not actually sure if/when we'll work on switching back to pull ups full time? Right now I'm liking the idea of letting him choose between a pull-up or a diaper on a nightly basis. Given the little talk we had earlier while brushing their teeth though, I assume in the short term, he's probably going to feel better with wearing a diaper however. So we'll see! Very happy to listen to suggestions however! This is very much new ground for me.

[Anonymous]

OP, this may seem like a weird question, but do your boys share a bedroom? Would the twin in undies be willing and able to report on his brother's bathroom habits?

Specifically, does he pee in his pull up or diaper before falling asleep, or first thing in the morning?

[Anonymous]

How did it go OP? Were you able to talk with them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Given that you only recently started taking care of them and that they had what sounds like a lot of instability before then, I would assume that both are dealing with a fair amount of trauma. If he would be more comfortable in diapers, let him have diapers. You don't need to tell him that his brother said anything. You can just offer diapers to him if he'd be more comfortable.

Well, as of about 20 minutes ago, we're now the proud new owners of a (surprisingly HEAVY??) large box of Huggies Overnight diapers.

I went out and bought them in DS's size without saying anything beforehand. Just walked in and he took one look at the box and just said "...are those for me?"

Lord!

Lol, OP did he say it in a happy or sad way? I am imagining your face and eye roll!

[Anonymous]

It doesnt sound like this is the problem with you but we had to switch to a diaper for our 4 year old because the pull up caused diaper rash (because it was so full i think). I dont think theres any problem with it being a diaper if thats the main issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi. I have twin boys that will be 10 in a few weeks. Twin B potty trained easily at 2.5 years old. He was nighttime trained at about 4.


Twin A, however, has problems with transitions. He has always rejected doing things until he was ready to do them. I remember in daycare when he was 2, that the teacher had a loose schedule that she kept. Each time she moved to another part of the schedule (like playtime to circle time, circle time to snack time, etc) twin A would rebel. He would be playing and "not be done" and would have a fit wanting to finish what he was doing. When we tried potty training at 2.5 years old, Twin A, did not want to do it. He would hide and pee on the floor, or he would just sit and wet his pants and keep playing without letting us know. We tried twice, at 2 yr 6 mo (when Twin B succeeded) and again at 2 yr 9 mo. Both times, Twin A, just wouldn't do it and wouldn't cooperate.

At age 3, we put the twins into Montessori, in part because of the self-guided nature of the teaching structure. We figured that this would make it easier on Twin A giving him more control over what he was learning. However, the problem was that Twin A was not potty-trained and the Montessori school required that. So we had Twin A in the local Kindercare at first. After about 6 weeks, the Montessori schoold had "show off your classroom night". We went with both boys and Twin B showed us the room, the various stations, the various learning tools that they had. Twin A loved it there. He spent the entire hour visit exploring and trying out the tools, etc. When he asked why he couldn't go there, we told him that they were holding a place for him, but he wasn't allowed to go there until he was potty trained. He started using the potty the next day. 3 days he was mostly potty trained. 2 weeks later he was potty trained with no accidents for a week. He really wanted to go to that school!

So, Twin A was potty trained at age 3 because he wanted it. But there was nothing controlling his nighttime training. Twin A ended up wearing nightpants until age 7. He went to a camp that summer. It was a 5-day day camp, but on Thursday night, they got to stay overnight and camp until the next morning. He was fine with the nightpants. He went to the bathroom, got into a stall, changed to nightpants and loose baggy pajamas and the other kids were none the wiser that he was wearing night pants. But I think that was when he decided he was "ready". Prior to that camp he was waking up between 2-5 nights a week with wet night pants. After that camp, it decreased steadily. By about 2 months after the camp (just after his 8th birthday), he was pretty consistently dry in the morning and switched to pajamas. That was almost 2 years ago. He's been fine.

When it comes to night training, that's a lot harder for some kids because it happens subconsciously when they are sleeping. So they have to be "ready" to night train. As you can see from my tiwns, potty and night trained in completely different cycles and there wasn't much that we could do about it. It was really about the child being ready for it.

OP--I would make the night pants and nighttime diapers available to your twin and let him pick. Every few months, you can can talk to him about it, but it's normal that they may be on different schedules and you shouldn't pressure him to night train. You can encourage him, but don't put pressure that he needs to do it. It will happen when he is ready, but consciously and subconsciously.

I'm glad your boys were able to get there eventually! My twins aren't even close to being majorly into camp--but I've already stressed out about the possibility of twin2 jumping into that whole debacle...I'm glad it worked out for your LO though! That certainly gives me hope.

I just got done filling half of a drawer in their bedroom with diapers, so now he'll have access to both those, and pull-ups, for him to pick out each night. Talked with both boy there to hear and let twin2 know he can chose for himself (he picked a diaper, for tonight).

One question I had that I'd been a bit unsure about...should we have specifically different *rules*, for what is OK and not-OK, when he has a diaper on, vs a pull up...?

To be very blunt, twin2 asked if he wakes up in the middle of the night, and needs to 'go' if he'd be allowed to pee, if he has a diaper on. I wasn't sure how to answer him with this, so told him to let me consider it for a bit. WWYD here..?

Also, twin1 asked if he could wear a football helmet tonight, which his brother found very funny.

I would tell him that that's his body waking him up to go to the bathroom, which is a great thing and that he should listen to it.

Completely agree, great approach. His body woke him up to use the potty, so he should use the potty.