Twin boy in pull ups telling his brother he'd rather wear diapers?

[Anonymous]

So wondering WWYD here, as this is new ground for me... (I'm these kid's aunt)

My twin boys share a room, and are very close and love each other a lot. Both are potty trained, but one wears pull ups at night still.

Anyways, I'm not sure where this came from with him, but twin#2 has been telling his brother for a few nights here and there that he wishes he could wear a 'baby' diaper for bedtime, instead of a pull up. I've been hearing this through his twin, as he is apparantly too shy and nervous to let me know directly. (we've never made a big deal over him wetting the bed at night).

What would you do here, we're you me...? Still wondering if I should bother saying anything at all to him, as I'm technically not supposed to know about this 'request'.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you the legal guardian, temporary guardian, or just peripherally involved? I'm asking because I wouldn't change anything about potty-training related issues without checking in with the primary caregiver first. If that is you, the answer might be different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you the legal guardian, temporary guardian, or just peripherally involved? I'm asking because I wouldn't change anything about potty-training related issues without checking in with the primary caregiver first. If that is you, the answer might be different.

Apologies for not saying before! I'm legal guardian. I had been watching them on a very limited basis beforehand, and that switched to fulltime just recently, due in part to the pandemic.

[Anonymous]

It's going to vary by individual child, but it sounds like he is okay talking with it to his brother.

Any chance you can have a "family meeting" (or little kid version) over supper, where you talk as a group of three about what might make the mornings and nights more fun? Easier? Is there anything about our routines for getting up and having breakfast, or getting ready for and going to bed, which could be better? Maybe feel it out and see if he or his brother pipes up.

The first step is talking about it so that you can figure out what is going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's going to vary by individual child, but it sounds like he is okay talking with it to his brother.

Any chance you can have a "family meeting" (or little kid version) over supper, where you talk as a group of three about what might make the mornings and nights more fun? Easier? Is there anything about our routines for getting up and having breakfast, or getting ready for and going to bed, which could be better? Maybe feel it out and see if he or his brother pipes up.

The first step is talking about it so that you can figure out what is going on.

Oh absolutely. Without launching into a huge explanation, his twin brother was more or less his only support figure for the first 4 years of their lives, they're very very close.

That's a great idea to have a little meeting! That would help a lot with the issue of divulging where I found out about this entire thing, I'll give that a try ASAP!

[Anonymous]

I gather the boys are 4 years old? Is he leaking a night or do the pull-ups keep the bed dry? I wonder if the pull-up allow him to feel wetter than a diaper (and does he actually remember diapers? Wow). It could be comfort.

[Anonymous]

PP again, why not ask him first thing in the morning when he is getting cleaned up how he feels about the pull ups and if he wants to try getting up at night to use use the bathroom? Then he won’t know brother told on him.

[Anonymous]

Their relationship sounds very sweet. I have twins too but older and remember that time. Good luck with whatever you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I gather the boys are 4 years old? Is he leaking a night or do the pull-ups keep the bed dry? I wonder if the pull-up allow him to feel wetter than a diaper (and does he actually remember diapers? Wow). It could be comfort.

Yes indeed! They'll be 5 in September.

So far, the pull-ups have seemed to work just fine, although they honestly haven't been with me full time for very long. Off the top of my head I can only think of 2 occasions where we've had to deal with a leak, and one of those was sort of my fault anyways.

He has a WICKED good memory, so I'd say that's at least possible (that he can remember them) I also suspect that his last 'family' may have used diapers at least some of the time (although pull ups were for sure still the norm).

[Anonymous]

Could you talk with the other twin, to get a bit more info first? If the one boy is shy to talk about it?

I personally don't see a problem with letting him wear a diaper. They're have the same function as a pull up, in that they're meant to be peed in. So if he feels better with one vs the other, and he doesn't mind you changing him into one before bedtime, I say go for it.

[Anonymous]

I am confused. Is it the pull up free twin that wants a diaper or pull up twin would wants a diaper?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am confused. Is it the pull up free twin that wants a diaper or pull up twin would wants a diaper?

One twin is wearing undies at night, and has been for ages. This is actually coming from his brother, who is in pull ups. But the pull up kid is embarrassed to say anything or ask, so I'm assuming the OPs other twin kind of spilled the beans regarding this.

[Anonymous]

I'd have both available to him in the washroom or bedroom and let him decide which to wear. Pull-ups don't hold as much and may feel different or less comfortable once wet.

[Anonymous]

Given that you only recently started taking care of them and that they had what sounds like a lot of instability before then, I would assume that both are dealing with a fair amount of trauma. If he would be more comfortable in diapers, let him have diapers. You don't need to tell him that his brother said anything. You can just offer diapers to him if he'd be more comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd have both available to him in the washroom or bedroom and let him decide which to wear. Pull-ups don't hold as much and may feel different or less comfortable once wet.

This is what I was thinking. You don't have to let on that you heard avout this from his twin. Just say "hey buddy, I found an old package of diapers in the house. I'll put them in here if you feel like you'd feel more comfortable wearing one instead of a pull up one night."

And yes, if memiry serves me right, diapers do a much better job of holding in pee and keeping the kid feeling dry.