Twin boy in pull ups telling his brother he'd rather wear diapers?

[Anonymous]

Kids are remarkably honest sonI would continue to asl him his preference.

[Anonymous]

Son = so

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Given that you only recently started taking care of them and that they had what sounds like a lot of instability before then, I would assume that both are dealing with a fair amount of trauma. If he would be more comfortable in diapers, let him have diapers. You don't need to tell him that his brother said anything. You can just offer diapers to him if he'd be more comfortable.

Well, as of about 20 minutes ago, we're now the proud new owners of a (surprisingly HEAVY??) large box of Huggies Overnight diapers.

I went out and bought them in DS's size without saying anything beforehand. Just walked in and he took one look at the box and just said "...are those for me?"

Lord!

Lol, OP did he say it in a happy or sad way? I am imagining your face and eye roll!

He kind of melted my heart a bit with that one (while also making me want to facepalm). He kind of said it in a hopeful, but slightly embarrassed way.

His twin brother however, thought it was HILLARIOUS--and super funny/cute that his 'little' brother now has a box of 'Mickey mouse diapers' as he's now calling them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Given that you only recently started taking care of them and that they had what sounds like a lot of instability before then, I would assume that both are dealing with a fair amount of trauma. If he would be more comfortable in diapers, let him have diapers. You don't need to tell him that his brother said anything. You can just offer diapers to him if he'd be more comfortable.

Well, as of about 20 minutes ago, we're now the proud new owners of a (surprisingly HEAVY??) large box of Huggies Overnight diapers.

I went out and bought them in DS's size without saying anything beforehand. Just walked in and he took one look at the box and just said "...are those for me?"

Lord!

Lol, OP did he say it in a happy or sad way? I am imagining your face and eye roll!

He kind of melted my heart a bit with that one (while also making me want to facepalm). He kind of said it in a hopeful, but slightly embarrassed way.

His twin brother however, thought it was HILLARIOUS--and super funny/cute that his 'little' brother now has a box of 'Mickey mouse diapers' as he's now calling them.

That's so adorable! I'm glad he has a supportive brother to be there for him. Did he wear one last night? How did it go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

That's so adorable! I'm glad he has a supportive brother to be there for him. Did he wear one last night? How did it go?

Sorry for the late reply! But, YES he did!

Getting it on before bed was a bit tricky, but was made a lot better by his brother. He had all of us giggling and laughing at the entire thing, which helped a LOT with the embarrassment-factor. I accidently tore the tab off the first of the huggies last night. Whoops. But did indeed get him in one before bedtime! It's a bit cliché to say, but he genuinely slept like a baby! Probably the first time in a year that he has slept *longer* than his twin. I about jumped for joy.

The huggies were EXTREMELY heavy by the time he woke up, but zero leaks, and everyone slept like a champ!

[Anonymous]

I have 5 year old twins. Good luck with your duo! I used to fasten the tabs on the diaper (loosely) and hand it over for them to put on like a pull-up. Then once it’s on it’s easy to adjust one side at a time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 5 year old twins. Good luck with your duo! I used to fasten the tabs on the diaper (loosely) and hand it over for them to put on like a pull-up. Then once it’s on it’s easy to adjust one side at a time.

I feel dumb for not thinking of that. What a great idea!! Last night little man was showing some signs of being a bit shy about lying down to put it on like a 'baby' but we mostly got past that thanks to his brother giving us the giggles and being impressed that his twin had "Mickey mouse on his butt".

Pre-fastening them though would solve that issue before it gets to be problematic. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi. I have twin boys that will be 10 in a few weeks. Twin B potty trained easily at 2.5 years old. He was nighttime trained at about 4.


Twin A, however, has problems with transitions. He has always rejected doing things until he was ready to do them. I remember in daycare when he was 2, that the teacher had a loose schedule that she kept. Each time she moved to another part of the schedule (like playtime to circle time, circle time to snack time, etc) twin A would rebel. He would be playing and "not be done" and would have a fit wanting to finish what he was doing. When we tried potty training at 2.5 years old, Twin A, did not want to do it. He would hide and pee on the floor, or he would just sit and wet his pants and keep playing without letting us know. We tried twice, at 2 yr 6 mo (when Twin B succeeded) and again at 2 yr 9 mo. Both times, Twin A, just wouldn't do it and wouldn't cooperate.

At age 3, we put the twins into Montessori, in part because of the self-guided nature of the teaching structure. We figured that this would make it easier on Twin A giving him more control over what he was learning. However, the problem was that Twin A was not potty-trained and the Montessori school required that. So we had Twin A in the local Kindercare at first. After about 6 weeks, the Montessori schoold had "show off your classroom night". We went with both boys and Twin B showed us the room, the various stations, the various learning tools that they had. Twin A loved it there. He spent the entire hour visit exploring and trying out the tools, etc. When he asked why he couldn't go there, we told him that they were holding a place for him, but he wasn't allowed to go there until he was potty trained. He started using the potty the next day. 3 days he was mostly potty trained. 2 weeks later he was potty trained with no accidents for a week. He really wanted to go to that school!

So, Twin A was potty trained at age 3 because he wanted it. But there was nothing controlling his nighttime training. Twin A ended up wearing nightpants until age 7. He went to a camp that summer. It was a 5-day day camp, but on Thursday night, they got to stay overnight and camp until the next morning. He was fine with the nightpants. He went to the bathroom, got into a stall, changed to nightpants and loose baggy pajamas and the other kids were none the wiser that he was wearing night pants. But I think that was when he decided he was "ready". Prior to that camp he was waking up between 2-5 nights a week with wet night pants. After that camp, it decreased steadily. By about 2 months after the camp (just after his 8th birthday), he was pretty consistently dry in the morning and switched to pajamas. That was almost 2 years ago. He's been fine.

When it comes to night training, that's a lot harder for some kids because it happens subconsciously when they are sleeping. So they have to be "ready" to night train. As you can see from my tiwns, potty and night trained in completely different cycles and there wasn't much that we could do about it. It was really about the child being ready for it.

OP--I would make the night pants and nighttime diapers available to your twin and let him pick. Every few months, you can can talk to him about it, but it's normal that they may be on different schedules and you shouldn't pressure him to night train. You can encourage him, but don't put pressure that he needs to do it. It will happen when he is ready, but consciously and subconsciously.

I'm glad your boys were able to get there eventually! My twins aren't even close to being majorly into camp--but I've already stressed out about the possibility of twin2 jumping into that whole debacle...I'm glad it worked out for your LO though! That certainly gives me hope.

I just got done filling half of a drawer in their bedroom with diapers, so now he'll have access to both those, and pull-ups, for him to pick out each night. Talked with both boy there to hear and let twin2 know he can chose for himself (he picked a diaper, for tonight).

One question I had that I'd been a bit unsure about...should we have specifically different *rules*, for what is OK and not-OK, when he has a diaper on, vs a pull up...?

To be very blunt, twin2 asked if he wakes up in the middle of the night, and needs to 'go' if he'd be allowed to pee, if he has a diaper on. I wasn't sure how to answer him with this, so told him to let me consider it for a bit. WWYD here..?

Also, twin1 asked if he could wear a football helmet tonight, which his brother found very funny.

PP you are replying to. Sorry for taking so long to reply. I decided I had a bunch of things to do this weekend and took the weekend "off" from DCUM for a change.

I agree with the PP's saying that you recommend that if he wakes up, to go to the bathroom to pee. Just let him know the diapers and pull-ups are to help him transition to being able to sleep without them. They are there for when he is asleep or too drowsy to go to the bathroom. If he actually wakes up enough, he should use the bathroom. We did that with Twin A, told him that it was perfectly normal for different kids to adjust to their bodies at different speeds. The diapers were to make sure that if he didn't wake up, he wouldn't end up in a wet bed, but the goal was to have his diapers or pull-ups be dry most of the time so he could stop using them. He was comfortable thinking of them as a training aid, rather than a solution to the problem.

I'm so glad that he slept better. To me, that suggests that the bed-wetting/pull-ups were a source of anxiety on top of the family issues that caused them to end up with you as their guardian. So, with all that they've been through, anything you can do to reduce the level of anxiety they are going through, the better they'll adapt to the other things. I like to think that when there is that much going on, that whatever you can do to make things easier, so that they can learn to adapt to one source of anxiety at a time is a good thing for them.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

PP you are replying to. Sorry for taking so long to reply. I decided I had a bunch of things to do this weekend and took the weekend "off" from DCUM for a change.

I agree with the PP's saying that you recommend that if he wakes up, to go to the bathroom to pee. Just let him know the diapers and pull-ups are to help him transition to being able to sleep without them. They are there for when he is asleep or too drowsy to go to the bathroom. If he actually wakes up enough, he should use the bathroom. We did that with Twin A, told him that it was perfectly normal for different kids to adjust to their bodies at different speeds. The diapers were to make sure that if he didn't wake up, he wouldn't end up in a wet bed, but the goal was to have his diapers or pull-ups be dry most of the time so he could stop using them. He was comfortable thinking of them as a training aid, rather than a solution to the problem.

I'm so glad that he slept better. To me, that suggests that the bed-wetting/pull-ups were a source of anxiety on top of the family issues that caused them to end up with you as their guardian. So, with all that they've been through, anything you can do to reduce the level of anxiety they are going through, the better they'll adapt to the other things. I like to think that when there is that much going on, that whatever you can do to make things easier, so that they can learn to adapt to one source of anxiety at a time is a good thing for them.

Good luck!

Not a problem at all! I hope you had a good weekend! Taking a few days to 'unplug' actually sounds kind of like heaven at the moment.

Absolutely will be talking with him about this the moment I spot a chance when he doesn't seem super anxious about everything. I should have been a bit more specific, but--if I understand right--he's asking about the times where he sort of 'barely' wakes up in the night (or his brother happens to wake him up..) and is kind of in a half-asleep state. I suspect if he really, REALLY made an effort--he probably *could* indeed make it to the bathroom when this happens, but for whatever reason, he really really doesn't want to.

He typically will indeed get up and go (to the bathroom) in the past while he was wearing pull-ups, but we've had times where he's actually woken up his twin brother, and asked him if it was 'OK' or if he would get in trouble, if he just peed in his pull-up. I assume this is where this is coming from, with the 'new' diapers. Which his brother told me this afternoon that he LOVES wearing.

They really do never cease to confuse me. I still love them though!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wakes up in the night (or his brother happens to wake him up..) and is kind of in a half-asleep state. I suspect if he really, REALLY made an effort--he probably *could* indeed make it to the bathroom when this happens, but for whatever reason, he really really doesn't want to.

He typically will indeed get up and go (to the bathroom) in the past while he was wearing pull-ups, but we've had times where he's actually woken up his twin brother, and asked him if it was 'OK' or if he would get in trouble, if he just peed in his pull-up. I assume this is where this is coming from, with the 'new' diapers. Which his brother told me this afternoon that he LOVES wearing.

They really do never cease to confuse me. I still love them though!

Please take with a grain of sale, as I have no experience with this. My 3 LO's were dry at the same time they trained in the daytime.

It sounds like your boy is dealing with some nerves with the entire thing. Someone please correct me if this is terrible advice, but what if you were to sit down and have an honest discussion with him, and explain that pull-ups and diapers have different rules. With the hope being that you can eventually transition back to pull-ups down the road, when your LO is ready.

Why not say that, yes - it's fine for now if he goes pee in the diaper. That is, after all, what they're for! He may need that security, and that's fine. But make it clear that once you make the switch back to pull-ups or undies, the 'rules' change, and he needs to start treating those with more of a potty training mindset and understand that they are only for accidents while he's asleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Please take with a grain of sale, as I have no experience with this. My 3 LO's were dry at the same time they trained in the daytime.

It sounds like your boy is dealing with some nerves with the entire thing. Someone please correct me if this is terrible advice, but what if you were to sit down and have an honest discussion with him, and explain that pull-ups and diapers have different rules. With the hope being that you can eventually transition back to pull-ups down the road, when your LO is ready.

Why not say that, yes - it's fine for now if he goes pee in the diaper. That is, after all, what they're for! He may need that security, and that's fine. But make it clear that once you make the switch back to pull-ups or undies, the 'rules' change, and he needs to start treating those with more of a potty training mindset and understand that they are only for accidents while he's asleep.

Meant to say 'grain of salt' there, whoops! Autocorrect got me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wakes up in the night (or his brother happens to wake him up..) and is kind of in a half-asleep state. I suspect if he really, REALLY made an effort--he probably *could* indeed make it to the bathroom when this happens, but for whatever reason, he really really doesn't want to.

He typically will indeed get up and go (to the bathroom) in the past while he was wearing pull-ups, but we've had times where he's actually woken up his twin brother, and asked him if it was 'OK' or if he would get in trouble, if he just peed in his pull-up. I assume this is where this is coming from, with the 'new' diapers. Which his brother told me this afternoon that he LOVES wearing.

They really do never cease to confuse me. I still love them though!

Please take with a grain of sale, as I have no experience with this. My 3 LO's were dry at the same time they trained in the daytime.

It sounds like your boy is dealing with some nerves with the entire thing. Someone please correct me if this is terrible advice, but what if you were to sit down and have an honest discussion with him, and explain that pull-ups and diapers have different rules. With the hope being that you can eventually transition back to pull-ups down the road, when your LO is ready.

Why not say that, yes - it's fine for now if he goes pee in the diaper. That is, after all, what they're for! He may need that security, and that's fine. But make it clear that once you make the switch back to pull-ups or undies, the 'rules' change, and he needs to start treating those with more of a potty training mindset and understand that they are only for accidents while he's asleep.

The problem is that there is no such thing as “night training.” Your body produces a hormone to keep you dry at night and no amount of practice will make it produce that hormone if it isn’t ready. So don’t worry about some future where the kid is peeing in pull ups because he is too lazy to get out of bed when that isn’t happening now and we don’t know that it will ever happen. This kid has been through a lot and just needs to feel safe - worrying about a rule change when his entire family situation has changed is too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:wakes up in the night (or his brother happens to wake him up..) and is kind of in a half-asleep state. I suspect if he really, REALLY made an effort--he probably *could* indeed make it to the bathroom when this happens, but for whatever reason, he really really doesn't want to.

He typically will indeed get up and go (to the bathroom) in the past while he was wearing pull-ups, but we've had times where he's actually woken up his twin brother, and asked him if it was 'OK' or if he would get in trouble, if he just peed in his pull-up. I assume this is where this is coming from, with the 'new' diapers. Which his brother told me this afternoon that he LOVES wearing.

They really do never cease to confuse me. I still love them though!

Please take with a grain of sale, as I have no experience with this. My 3 LO's were dry at the same time they trained in the daytime.

It sounds like your boy is dealing with some nerves with the entire thing. Someone please correct me if this is terrible advice, but what if you were to sit down and have an honest discussion with him, and explain that pull-ups and diapers have different rules. With the hope being that you can eventually transition back to pull-ups down the road, when your LO is ready.

Why not say that, yes - it's fine for now if he goes pee in the diaper. That is, after all, what they're for! He may need that security, and that's fine. But make it clear that once you make the switch back to pull-ups or undies, the 'rules' change, and he needs to start treating those with more of a potty training mindset and understand that they are only for accidents while he's asleep.

The problem is that there is no such thing as “night training.” Your body produces a hormone to keep you dry at night and no amount of practice will make it produce that hormone if it isn’t ready. So don’t worry about some future where the kid is peeing in pull ups because he is too lazy to get out of bed when that isn’t happening now and we don’t know that it will ever happen. This kid has been through a lot and just needs to feel safe - worrying about a rule change when his entire family situation has changed is too much.

+1

This. If the child is still having accidents in the night, it won't matter if he's wearing one kind of underwear vs another. A 5 year old having accidents in the night is completely normal and fine. If you are without a doubt certain that he's still having accidents in his sleep - then I wouldn't at all be concerned about letting him pee if he wakes up on occasion. I Hippoed a bit, but - if he's wearing a properly fitting overnight diaper, that should be absolutely not a problem. Let him sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

PP you are replying to. Sorry for taking so long to reply. I decided I had a bunch of things to do this weekend and took the weekend "off" from DCUM for a change.

I agree with the PP's saying that you recommend that if he wakes up, to go to the bathroom to pee. Just let him know the diapers and pull-ups are to help him transition to being able to sleep without them. They are there for when he is asleep or too drowsy to go to the bathroom. If he actually wakes up enough, he should use the bathroom. We did that with Twin A, told him that it was perfectly normal for different kids to adjust to their bodies at different speeds. The diapers were to make sure that if he didn't wake up, he wouldn't end up in a wet bed, but the goal was to have his diapers or pull-ups be dry most of the time so he could stop using them. He was comfortable thinking of them as a training aid, rather than a solution to the problem.

I'm so glad that he slept better. To me, that suggests that the bed-wetting/pull-ups were a source of anxiety on top of the family issues that caused them to end up with you as their guardian. So, with all that they've been through, anything you can do to reduce the level of anxiety they are going through, the better they'll adapt to the other things. I like to think that when there is that much going on, that whatever you can do to make things easier, so that they can learn to adapt to one source of anxiety at a time is a good thing for them.

Good luck!

Not a problem at all! I hope you had a good weekend! Taking a few days to 'unplug' actually sounds kind of like heaven at the moment.

Absolutely will be talking with him about this the moment I spot a chance when he doesn't seem super anxious about everything. I should have been a bit more specific, but--if I understand right--he's asking about the times where he sort of 'barely' wakes up in the night (or his brother happens to wake him up..) and is kind of in a half-asleep state. I suspect if he really, REALLY made an effort--he probably *could* indeed make it to the bathroom when this happens, but for whatever reason, he really really doesn't want to.

He typically will indeed get up and go (to the bathroom) in the past while he was wearing pull-ups, but we've had times where he's actually woken up his twin brother, and asked him if it was 'OK' or if he would get in trouble, if he just peed in his pull-up. I assume this is where this is coming from, with the 'new' diapers. Which his brother told me this afternoon that he LOVES wearing.

They really do never cease to confuse me. I still love them though!

PP Dad of twins again.

Here's my take. Your boys have been through a lot of trauma and anxiety due to the various problems that resulted in their parents losing custody of them and putting them in your custody. That's a lot for little kids to go through. And while kids are very resilient, it takes time and some normalcy and a lot of help from adults for them to bounce back without issues. His potty-training regressions are probably a result of the added stress and anxiety. So, he needs to be able to relax and recover from all that's happened. That takes time and it takes comforting to reduce the results of stress and anxiety. So, when you get the chance, I would talk to both twins about the nighttime situation. Explain that ultimately he needs to be able to wake up and go to the bathroom when his body needs to pee, that's the long-term goal. In the short-term, he needs to get his sleep and get comfortable with all the changes in his life. And if that means staying in his warm, cozy bed when he half-wakes at night and has to go, then he can pee in his diaper. After all, it is there to keep him from wetting the bed. After some time when he feels more comfortable and relaxed, then he should start trying to convince his body to get up and go to the bathroom. But for now, it's okay. As he gets more comfortable and gets more rested and recovers from all the family difficulties, then he should focus on being able to wake up with dry pants.

So, as long as he understands that this is a short-term thing to help him relax and recover from the all that's happened, then it's fine to just stay in bed, pee in his pants and go back to sleep.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. If the kid can wake up enough to know he needs to go to the bathroom, why does he need to be wearing diapers at all?