Bedtime-what are we doing wrong ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I tell my kids that I am going to be back in ten minutes, and I know that they are going to be awake, and their room will be a mess. If my husband is home, I talk to him in a really loud voice about it. If not, I might pretend to talk to my mom on the phone. When I come back, I make a lot of noise, maybe say something to my husband again about how I just know those boys are going to be out if their beds.
When I go back in, they are always laying quietly in their beds pretending to sleep and trying not to laugh. I make a huge deal about being shocked, how I’m never wrong, but that those boys told me they would be asleep (they didn’t), and I thought they would be up. But here it is, and they were SO RIGHT, and I was SO WRONG. I can’t believe it! Who knew I had children who could predict the future?


I’ve honestly been doing this twice a day for months, and they still fall for it.

This is very funny and reminds me of my friend... her son always asked her a million questions. She would say “I don’t know, what do you think” in an effort to have him think more creatively. One day many years later she overheard him telling a friend that his mom isn’t very smart, because she doesn’t have answers and asks him instead

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I tell my kids that I am going to be back in ten minutes, and I know that they are going to be awake, and their room will be a mess. If my husband is home, I talk to him in a really loud voice about it. If not, I might pretend to talk to my mom on the phone. When I come back, I make a lot of noise, maybe say something to my husband again about how I just know those boys are going to be out if their beds.
When I go back in, they are always laying quietly in their beds pretending to sleep and trying not to laugh. I make a huge deal about being shocked, how I’m never wrong, but that those boys told me they would be asleep (they didn’t), and I thought they would be up. But here it is, and they were SO RIGHT, and I was SO WRONG. I can’t believe it! Who knew I had children who could predict the future?


I’ve honestly been doing this twice a day for months, and they still fall for it.

This is genius 🤣

[Anonymous]

Tucker them out after dinner- scooter around the block, game of tag whayever.

[Anonymous]

Lights out at 8pm is too late. The two year old needs to be going to bed no later than 7pm, the 4 yr old at 7:30. Shorten the bedtime routine. The process can't be too long.

[Anonymous]

I have a 2 and 4 year old who share a room. We have tried to set up their room so they can’t destroy much. Shelves up high that have their toys with a lot of pieces (puzzles) and most other toys in the closet with a child safety knob. We do our bedtime routine and are out of their room by 7:30. Before we leave the room they choose a toy or two from the closet. We also get a new rotation of books from the library every couple of weeks that they have access too.

We don’t care if they fall asleep. Only rule is they can’t leave the room. If they do we walk them back upstairs without really talking or making eye contact and leave them in the room. It’s not always easy but expectations are premeditated resentments, so I just don’t expect they fall asleep by a certain time.

[Anonymous]

My 5 year old son's evening routine:

Dinner around 5pm.

Play time till 630pm then time allowed to put away toys and get ready for bath. He also gets a melatonin gummy before his bath time.

Bath time starts around 645pm and lasts about 20 minutes. Time includes play time with bath toys.

After his bath I brush his teeth, hair, clean ears, and check nails for trimming. He gets his diaper on and night time lotion applied.

In the bedroom I have the blinds and curtains closed. A/C is lowered and the ceiling fan on. Lights are dimmed and tv is set for cartoons lowest volume setting. We co-sleep with our son so he sleeps in our king size bed. Before being tucked in he says his prayers, we read a short story, hugs and kisses. By this time melatonin has kicked in and he's out for the night. I keep a sippy cup of water on the nightstand for him just incase. He's usually a sleep by 745pm. We're free to enjoy the evening. On occasion if he's awake a little longer he will lay quietly until he's ready to sleep. He's not whiny and does not require us to lay with him. Some people may disagree with this routine and that's fine it works for us. He usually wakes up around 7am and will lay quietly if we're sleeping.

[Anonymous]

Too late for tge 2 year old. Mine both sre up by 6:30. Yoinrr naps for an hour at least. 5 year old doesnt. Dinner st 6. Quick bath for toddler and in room at 7 with lights out at 7:15 and i leave. 5 yrar old either bathes with the toddler or gets her own shower around 7:30 and books. Lights out at 8:15 for her. She talks to her stuffies some more after.

[Anonymous]

I have an almost 2 year old and a 4 yr old who share a room. We almost always stagger their bedtime though. The 2 year old is in bed by 7:15pm. The 4 yr old reads and is allowed to play by herself in another bedroom until she is ready to go to sleep. This is typically 8 or 8:30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 5 year old son's evening routine:

Dinner around 5pm.

Play time till 630pm then time allowed to put away toys and get ready for bath. He also gets a melatonin gummy before his bath time.

Bath time starts around 645pm and lasts about 20 minutes. Time includes play time with bath toys.

After his bath I brush his teeth, hair, clean ears, and check nails for trimming. He gets his diaper on and night time lotion applied.

In the bedroom I have the blinds and curtains closed. A/C is lowered and the ceiling fan on. Lights are dimmed and tv is set for cartoons lowest volume setting. We co-sleep with our son so he sleeps in our king size bed. Before being tucked in he says his prayers, we read a short story, hugs and kisses. By this time melatonin has kicked in and he's out for the night. I keep a sippy cup of water on the nightstand for him just incase. He's usually a sleep by 745pm. We're free to enjoy the evening. On occasion if he's awake a little longer he will lay quietly until he's ready to sleep. He's not whiny and does not require us to lay with him. Some people may disagree with this routine and that's fine it works for us. He usually wakes up around 7am and will lay quietly if we're sleeping.

You give him melatonin just because?

[Anonymous]

Your children's wakeup time is normal.

However, I agree with PPs that your bedtime is too late (should be closer to 7 and 7:30), and that you should separate the children and stagger the bedtimes. I think they are feeding off each other and have settled into a routine of disruption - separation will help cut that out.

Keep the bedtime routine short and simple.

[Anonymous]

If there is an option for a separate room, why would you do this to yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 5 year old son's evening routine:

Dinner around 5pm.

Play time till 630pm then time allowed to put away toys and get ready for bath. He also gets a melatonin gummy before his bath time.

Bath time starts around 645pm and lasts about 20 minutes. Time includes play time with bath toys.

After his bath I brush his teeth, hair, clean ears, and check nails for trimming. He gets his diaper on and night time lotion applied.

In the bedroom I have the blinds and curtains closed. A/C is lowered and the ceiling fan on. Lights are dimmed and tv is set for cartoons lowest volume setting. We co-sleep with our son so he sleeps in our king size bed. Before being tucked in he says his prayers, we read a short story, hugs and kisses. By this time melatonin has kicked in and he's out for the night. I keep a sippy cup of water on the nightstand for him just incase. He's usually a sleep by 745pm. We're free to enjoy the evening. On occasion if he's awake a little longer he will lay quietly until he's ready to sleep. He's not whiny and does not require us to lay with him. Some people may disagree with this routine and that's fine it works for us. He usually wakes up around 7am and will lay quietly if we're sleeping.

You give him melatonin just because?

Melatonin is all natural and has minimal side effects. My son has had zero issues taking it. I can change him before I go to sleep and he doesn't even flinch. I read up on it and asked his Pediatrician before starting him on it.

[Anonymous]

Watch super nanny and separate them if you can.
Also, 1, 2, 3, Magic. How many times do people recommend that book here and yet nobody seems to get it?
It is about changing YOUR, parents' behavior. Please read it, live by it for next year.
Having said that, it is pretty normal behavior for 2 and 4 years old, but not the trashing part, changing sleep habits part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If there is an option for a separate room, why would you do this to yourself?

He has his own room when he is ready for it. For now we've embraced co-sleeping and the bond it has built. I absolutely love waking up to his smile. This stage will be a memory before we know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the 4yo still balling? If he is you cant expect him to fall asleep at 8pm. If not napping he should be in beds light out by 7/730.

4 yo not napping. 2 yo naps about an hour. -OP

Your children are overtired before bedtime.

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/children-and-sleep/how-much-sleep-do-kids-need

1-2yo need 11-14 hours of sleep. With a nap, that's a minimum of 10 hours each night. If that child wakes at 6.30 every morning, that child needs to be asleep by 8.30 at the latest, and that's for the minimum amount of sleep, 5.30 for the maximum end of the range. Budget a minimum of 30 minutes for bedtime, and have one parent keep the 4yo out and busy while you put the 2yo to bed.

Your 4yo needs 10-13 hours, and if they wake up at 7.30, they need to be asleep no later than 9.30, earliest would be 6.30. So bedtime needs to be 30 minutes for a short bath, teeth, book and then lights out.

It sounds to be like you're drawing out the evening too much, and they want more fun time. If you split up bedtime (don't split bedrooms, because you can use the 4yo's desire to be a good big sibling to be quiet while the younger one sleeps), you can keep them from feeding off of each other.