Bedtime-what are we doing wrong ?

[Anonymous]

Looking for veteran parent advice:

2 boys 2 & 4, same room, they wake up at 6:30 and 7:30, respectively, irregardless of bedtime.
Dinner around 5
Baths at 6-7
Brush teeth (mom)
Read books (mom)
Lights out at 8pm (dad stays a while)

Every night is a crying, whining, room trashing disaster.

We almost always have to resort to yelling and threatening. Often they finally fall asleep between 9-10.

We’ve tried: exercise at night, no exercise at night, early dinner, late dinner.

Should we try separate rooms?
cry it out?
It’s so draining for us. They just don’t want to go to bed.

[Anonymous]

I would separate their rooms or stagger their bedtimes.

[Anonymous]

Try a bit earlier?

[Anonymous]

No crying, whining, threatening, pleading, bribing, yelling, etc. just stay somewhere (might be right outside the door at first) and deadpan say “it’s time for bed” each time they come out. Grab them by the hand/wrist and firmly put them back in bed. They get no reaction from you, no emotion. Just put back in bed. Will take a few nights but worth a shot. Worked for us.

[Anonymous]

Bed time is too late. 7:30 in the room. You may feel like your evening is rushed and time with them is short but I promise this period of time is short lived. If you continue to tell them bedtime is it eight, and engage in their antics by yelling/threatening and they’re not falling asleep until 9/930 this will continue on for a very long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No crying, whining, threatening, pleading, bribing, yelling, etc. just stay somewhere (might be right outside the door at first) and deadpan say “it’s time for bed” each time they come out. Grab them by the hand/wrist and firmly put them back in bed. They get no reaction from you, no emotion. Just put back in bed. Will take a few nights but worth a shot. Worked for us.

This. Bore them to sleep.

Your routine is too long, it sounds exhausting. Shorten bath and books and put them to bed earlier, before they can get themselves all wound up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking for veteran parent advice:

2 boys 2 & 4, same room, they wake up at 6:30 and 7:30, respectively, irregardless of bedtime.
Dinner around 5
Baths at 6-7
Brush teeth (mom)
Read books (mom)
Lights out at 8pm (dad stays a while)

Every night is a crying, whining, room trashing disaster.

We almost always have to resort to yelling and threatening. Often they finally fall asleep between 9-10.

We’ve tried: exercise at night, no exercise at night, early dinner, late dinner.

Should we try separate rooms?
cry it out?
It’s so draining for us. They just don’t want to go to bed.

Consequences - time outs.

Can you put them in two separate rooms? Yes

Remove everything but things necessary it the room. Every time they get out of bed, put them back in bed nanny style. Do they nap? May not be tired? If the two year old has non nap, then tired? Also, snack before bed.

[Anonymous]

Is the 4yo still balling? If he is you cant expect him to fall asleep at 8pm. If not napping he should be in beds light out by 7/730.

[Anonymous]

Napping not balling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No crying, whining, threatening, pleading, bribing, yelling, etc. just stay somewhere (might be right outside the door at first) and deadpan say “it’s time for bed” each time they come out. Grab them by the hand/wrist and firmly put them back in bed. They get no reaction from you, no emotion. Just put back in bed. Will take a few nights but worth a shot. Worked for us.

This. Bore them to sleep.

Your routine is too long, it sounds exhausting. Shorten bath and books and put them to bed earlier, before they can get themselves all wound up.

Agree. And separate if that’s an easy option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the 4yo still balling? If he is you cant expect him to fall asleep at 8pm. If not napping he should be in beds light out by 7/730.

4 yo not napping. 2 yo naps about an hour. -OP

[Anonymous]

My two boys are 2 years apart, now 4 and 6, and there is no way they would go to sleep in the same room without a lot of shenanigans.

[Anonymous]

My kids went to bed in the same room. It’s not about sharing a room. Their behavior sounds like they are overtired.

[Anonymous]

I think they need separate rooms. 7:30 bedtime is too early.

[Anonymous]

I tell my kids that I am going to be back in ten minutes, and I know that they are going to be awake, and their room will be a mess. If my husband is home, I talk to him in a really loud voice about it. If not, I might pretend to talk to my mom on the phone. When I come back, I make a lot of noise, maybe say something to my husband again about how I just know those boys are going to be out if their beds.
When I go back in, they are always laying quietly in their beds pretending to sleep and trying not to laugh. I make a huge deal about being shocked, how I’m never wrong, but that those boys told me they would be asleep (they didn’t), and I thought they would be up. But here it is, and they were SO RIGHT, and I was SO WRONG. I can’t believe it! Who knew I had children who could predict the future?


I’ve honestly been doing this twice a day for months, and they still fall for it.