Be cautious caring for parents in their 60s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I remember your original thread and you have my sympathy, OP.

However, the title of your thread is misleading. Most adults in their 60s are in reasonably good health, or if not, don't have violent dementia. Heck, some of your readers are in their 60s and in great shape! Know your audience

But if you mean that parents sometimes decline faster than one thinks and relatives don't always help or tell the truth, then yes, I agree. We are never as prepared as we could be for aging, disease and death. My dear BIL passed away from a brain tumor in his 40s, very suddenly. You can only do your best, OP. If people push you to do more than that, ignore.

OP here- I know that most people in their 60s do not have dementia and that not all dementia patients have violent outbursts. I was surprised that this was even a possibility in one's 60s and my mother hid the situation from me. I have sense learned that this is not uncommon and that many patients with cognitive decline have moderate symptoms in their 60s. I did not know that before this happened. That is why I posted this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I remember your original thread and you have my sympathy, OP.

However, the title of your thread is misleading. Most adults in their 60s are in reasonably good health, or if not, don't have violent dementia. Heck, some of your readers are in their 60s and in great shape! Know your audience

But if you mean that parents sometimes decline faster than one thinks and relatives don't always help or tell the truth, then yes, I agree. We are never as prepared as we could be for aging, disease and death. My dear BIL passed away from a brain tumor in his 40s, very suddenly. You can only do your best, OP. If people push you to do more than that, ignore.

OP here- I know that most people in their 60s do not have dementia and that not all dementia patients have violent outbursts. I was surprised that this was even a possibility in one's 60s and my mother hid the situation from me. I have sense learned that this is not uncommon and that many patients with cognitive decline have moderate symptoms in their 60s. I did not know that before this happened. That is why I posted this thread.

OP, I am quite shocked that your father had such immediate brute strength to shake you with such force to tear a ligament so badly you have not been able to walk or lift anything for six months. How horrifying.

You said you have learned that this kind of treatment from someone in their 60s is not uncommon. Can you please cite where you got that information? Where are the stats that people in their 60s are already going through such cognitive decline they may be able to resort to violence. Enlightening us to the facts will only make all of us all more aware, and will prevent countless cases of severe injury such as you experienced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I remember your original thread and you have my sympathy, OP.

However, the title of your thread is misleading. Most adults in their 60s are in reasonably good health, or if not, don't have violent dementia. Heck, some of your readers are in their 60s and in great shape! Know your audience

But if you mean that parents sometimes decline faster than one thinks and relatives don't always help or tell the truth, then yes, I agree. We are never as prepared as we could be for aging, disease and death. My dear BIL passed away from a brain tumor in his 40s, very suddenly. You can only do your best, OP. If people push you to do more than that, ignore.

OP here- I know that most people in their 60s do not have dementia and that not all dementia patients have violent outbursts. I was surprised that this was even a possibility in one's 60s and my mother hid the situation from me. I have sense learned that this is not uncommon and that many patients with cognitive decline have moderate symptoms in their 60s. I did not know that before this happened. That is why I posted this thread.

OP, I am quite shocked that your father had such immediate brute strength to shake you with such force to tear a ligament so badly you have not been able to walk or lift anything for six months. How horrifying.

You said you have learned that this kind of treatment from someone in their 60s is not uncommon. Can you please cite where you got that information? Where are the stats that people in their 60s are already going through such cognitive decline they may be able to resort to violence. Enlightening us to the facts will only make all of us all more aware, and will prevent countless cases of severe injury such as you experienced.

Just conversations with doctors. Nothing published. It’s a misconception that dementia only appears in the 80s or 90s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I remember your original thread and you have my sympathy, OP.

However, the title of your thread is misleading. Most adults in their 60s are in reasonably good health, or if not, don't have violent dementia. Heck, some of your readers are in their 60s and in great shape! Know your audience

But if you mean that parents sometimes decline faster than one thinks and relatives don't always help or tell the truth, then yes, I agree. We are never as prepared as we could be for aging, disease and death. My dear BIL passed away from a brain tumor in his 40s, very suddenly. You can only do your best, OP. If people push you to do more than that, ignore.

OP here- I know that most people in their 60s do not have dementia and that not all dementia patients have violent outbursts. I was surprised that this was even a possibility in one's 60s and my mother hid the situation from me. I have sense learned that this is not uncommon and that many patients with cognitive decline have moderate symptoms in their 60s. I did not know that before this happened. That is why I posted this thread.

OP, I am quite shocked that your father had such immediate brute strength to shake you with such force to tear a ligament so badly you have not been able to walk or lift anything for six months. How horrifying.

You said you have learned that this kind of treatment from someone in their 60s is not uncommon. Can you please cite where you got that information? Where are the stats that people in their 60s are already going through such cognitive decline they may be able to resort to violence. Enlightening us to the facts will only make all of us all more aware, and will prevent countless cases of severe injury such as you experienced.

Just conversations with doctors. Nothing published. It’s a misconception that dementia only appears in the 80s or 90s.

Oh. Because the studies I've happened to read state that less than 6% of people in their 60s exhibit EARLY signs of dementia, and certainly are not so uninhibited they are having violent outbursts which results in a person suffering from a six-month long disability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I remember your original thread and you have my sympathy, OP.

However, the title of your thread is misleading. Most adults in their 60s are in reasonably good health, or if not, don't have violent dementia. Heck, some of your readers are in their 60s and in great shape! Know your audience

But if you mean that parents sometimes decline faster than one thinks and relatives don't always help or tell the truth, then yes, I agree. We are never as prepared as we could be for aging, disease and death. My dear BIL passed away from a brain tumor in his 40s, very suddenly. You can only do your best, OP. If people push you to do more than that, ignore.

OP here- I know that most people in their 60s do not have dementia and that not all dementia patients have violent outbursts. I was surprised that this was even a possibility in one's 60s and my mother hid the situation from me. I have sense learned that this is not uncommon and that many patients with cognitive decline have moderate symptoms in their 60s. I did not know that before this happened. That is why I posted this thread.

OP, I am quite shocked that your father had such immediate brute strength to shake you with such force to tear a ligament so badly you have not been able to walk or lift anything for six months. How horrifying.

You said you have learned that this kind of treatment from someone in their 60s is not uncommon. Can you please cite where you got that information? Where are the stats that people in their 60s are already going through such cognitive decline they may be able to resort to violence. Enlightening us to the facts will only make all of us all more aware, and will prevent countless cases of severe injury such as you experienced.

Just conversations with doctors. Nothing published. It’s a misconception that dementia only appears in the 80s or 90s.

Oh. Because the studies I've happened to read state that less than 6% of people in their 60s exhibit EARLY signs of dementia, and certainly are not so uninhibited they are having violent outbursts which results in a person suffering from a six-month long disability.

So only 600,000-1M in the US currently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I remember your original thread and you have my sympathy, OP.

However, the title of your thread is misleading. Most adults in their 60s are in reasonably good health, or if not, don't have violent dementia. Heck, some of your readers are in their 60s and in great shape! Know your audience

But if you mean that parents sometimes decline faster than one thinks and relatives don't always help or tell the truth, then yes, I agree. We are never as prepared as we could be for aging, disease and death. My dear BIL passed away from a brain tumor in his 40s, very suddenly. You can only do your best, OP. If people push you to do more than that, ignore.

OP here- I know that most people in their 60s do not have dementia and that not all dementia patients have violent outbursts. I was surprised that this was even a possibility in one's 60s and my mother hid the situation from me. I have sense learned that this is not uncommon and that many patients with cognitive decline have moderate symptoms in their 60s. I did not know that before this happened. That is why I posted this thread.

OP, I am quite shocked that your father had such immediate brute strength to shake you with such force to tear a ligament so badly you have not been able to walk or lift anything for six months. How horrifying.

You said you have learned that this kind of treatment from someone in their 60s is not uncommon. Can you please cite where you got that information? Where are the stats that people in their 60s are already going through such cognitive decline they may be able to resort to violence. Enlightening us to the facts will only make all of us all more aware, and will prevent countless cases of severe injury such as you experienced.

Just conversations with doctors. Nothing published. It’s a misconception that dementia only appears in the 80s or 90s.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I remember your original thread and you have my sympathy, OP.

However, the title of your thread is misleading. Most adults in their 60s are in reasonably good health, or if not, don't have violent dementia. Heck, some of your readers are in their 60s and in great shape! Know your audience

But if you mean that parents sometimes decline faster than one thinks and relatives don't always help or tell the truth, then yes, I agree. We are never as prepared as we could be for aging, disease and death. My dear BIL passed away from a brain tumor in his 40s, very suddenly. You can only do your best, OP. If people push you to do more than that, ignore.

OP here- I know that most people in their 60s do not have dementia and that not all dementia patients have violent outbursts. I was surprised that this was even a possibility in one's 60s and my mother hid the situation from me. I have sense learned that this is not uncommon and that many patients with cognitive decline have moderate symptoms in their 60s. I did not know that before this happened. That is why I posted this thread.

Yes, and if they are significantly affected the way your father is then it’s considered early onset dementia. It’s particularly difficult because, as PP said, a person can be physically strong and fit while cognitively in decline.

[Anonymous]

The age of OP’s father is irrelevant, but the general point to plan for the future and stay attuned to one’s aging parents is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I remember your original thread and you have my sympathy, OP.

However, the title of your thread is misleading. Most adults in their 60s are in reasonably good health, or if not, don't have violent dementia. Heck, some of your readers are in their 60s and in great shape! Know your audience

But if you mean that parents sometimes decline faster than one thinks and relatives don't always help or tell the truth, then yes, I agree. We are never as prepared as we could be for aging, disease and death. My dear BIL passed away from a brain tumor in his 40s, very suddenly. You can only do your best, OP. If people push you to do more than that, ignore.

OP here- I know that most people in their 60s do not have dementia and that not all dementia patients have violent outbursts. I was surprised that this was even a possibility in one's 60s and my mother hid the situation from me. I have sense learned that this is not uncommon and that many patients with cognitive decline have moderate symptoms in their 60s. I did not know that before this happened. That is why I posted this thread.

OP, I am quite shocked that your father had such immediate brute strength to shake you with such force to tear a ligament so badly you have not been able to walk or lift anything for six months. How horrifying.

You said you have learned that this kind of treatment from someone in their 60s is not uncommon. Can you please cite where you got that information? Where are the stats that people in their 60s are already going through such cognitive decline they may be able to resort to violence. Enlightening us to the facts will only make all of us all more aware, and will prevent countless cases of severe injury such as you experienced.

Just conversations with doctors. Nothing published. It’s a misconception that dementia only appears in the 80s or 90s.

Oh. Because the studies I've happened to read state that less than 6% of people in their 60s exhibit EARLY signs of dementia, and certainly are not so uninhibited they are having violent outbursts which results in a person suffering from a six-month long disability.

So only 600,000-1M in the US currently.

And more than 1M parents are abused by an adult child, every year. Daughters are more apt to use psychological and physical violence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I remember your original thread and you have my sympathy, OP.

However, the title of your thread is misleading. Most adults in their 60s are in reasonably good health, or if not, don't have violent dementia. Heck, some of your readers are in their 60s and in great shape! Know your audience

But if you mean that parents sometimes decline faster than one thinks and relatives don't always help or tell the truth, then yes, I agree. We are never as prepared as we could be for aging, disease and death. My dear BIL passed away from a brain tumor in his 40s, very suddenly. You can only do your best, OP. If people push you to do more than that, ignore.

OP here- I know that most people in their 60s do not have dementia and that not all dementia patients have violent outbursts. I was surprised that this was even a possibility in one's 60s and my mother hid the situation from me. I have sense learned that this is not uncommon and that many patients with cognitive decline have moderate symptoms in their 60s. I did not know that before this happened. That is why I posted this thread.

OP, I am quite shocked that your father had such immediate brute strength to shake you with such force to tear a ligament so badly you have not been able to walk or lift anything for six months. How horrifying.

You said you have learned that this kind of treatment from someone in their 60s is not uncommon. Can you please cite where you got that information? Where are the stats that people in their 60s are already going through such cognitive decline they may be able to resort to violence. Enlightening us to the facts will only make all of us all more aware, and will prevent countless cases of severe injury such as you experienced.

Just conversations with doctors. Nothing published. It’s a misconception that dementia only appears in the 80s or 90s.

+1

Before posting such an erroneous title urging "caution" regarding "...parents in their 60s" the OP should have cited sources. This hyperbole makes me wonder about the accuracy of the injury involved. To be shaken so hard that you cannot walk for six months is actually quite incredible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents both have dementia. Just so you know, we have them in 24 seven hour care at home with paid aides from an agency. It costs over 200k a year.


I'm sorry about your chronic pain and hope it gets better. I don't see what filing a claim would have accomplished (I'm a lawyer), so I think that decision was good.

Dementia care in a facility is also this expensive. That's why families have to plan for it.

NP. So dementia care costs $200k per year at home and it doesn’t include any other costs such as utilities/food etc? How can people plan for such an expensive home health needs? Typical LTC policies aren’t that high!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I remember your original thread and you have my sympathy, OP.

However, the title of your thread is misleading. Most adults in their 60s are in reasonably good health, or if not, don't have violent dementia. Heck, some of your readers are in their 60s and in great shape! Know your audience

But if you mean that parents sometimes decline faster than one thinks and relatives don't always help or tell the truth, then yes, I agree. We are never as prepared as we could be for aging, disease and death. My dear BIL passed away from a brain tumor in his 40s, very suddenly. You can only do your best, OP. If people push you to do more than that, ignore.

OP here- I know that most people in their 60s do not have dementia and that not all dementia patients have violent outbursts. I was surprised that this was even a possibility in one's 60s and my mother hid the situation from me. I have sense learned that this is not uncommon and that many patients with cognitive decline have moderate symptoms in their 60s. I did not know that before this happened. That is why I posted this thread.

OP, I am quite shocked that your father had such immediate brute strength to shake you with such force to tear a ligament so badly you have not been able to walk or lift anything for six months. How horrifying.

You said you have learned that this kind of treatment from someone in their 60s is not uncommon. Can you please cite where you got that information? Where are the stats that people in their 60s are already going through such cognitive decline they may be able to resort to violence. Enlightening us to the facts will only make all of us all more aware, and will prevent countless cases of severe injury such as you experienced.

Just conversations with doctors. Nothing published. It’s a misconception that dementia only appears in the 80s or 90s.

+1

Before posting such an erroneous title urging "caution" regarding "...parents in their 60s" the OP should have cited sources. This hyperbole makes me wonder about the accuracy of the injury involved. To be shaken so hard that you cannot walk for six months is actually quite incredible.

OP here- I did not say I couldn't walk for six months. My activity has been affected for 6 months because I had a torn ligament. Torn ligaments take many months to heal. The cause of the torn ligament is irrelevant. In my case, I needed to rest my head often because the ligament torn was in my neck. This meant only walking for short periods of time before pain set in.

I am well aware that few would believe me. I don't have a cast around my neck and being under the age of 50, it is assumed that I cannot be harmed. My father is over 200 lbs and 6 ft tall. I am 5'2" and 110 lbs. I am not physically capable of providing care to someone that much larger than me and have no training in doing so.

[Anonymous]

My sources also are the three doctors that I have seen in the past few months regarding my neck. I didn't ask them for links to websites. Sorry not sorry.

[Anonymous]

Here's a link about my severe neck sprain, for the doubters:

https://www.healthgrades.com/right-care/bones-joints-and-muscles/neck-sprain

Any basic internet search about dementia, cognitive decline, etc will show you many credible sources regarding the onset of those conditions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why tell us your father’s age? Being 60 has nothing to do with his aggressive behavior. It’s the dementia.

A 60 year old is a lot stronger than a 80+ yr old with dementia.