Describe the most spoiled lazy human you know well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I might be that person. I work at a responsible job but have fallen far short of my potential.

Me, right now. Kids living at home (one working and one recent graduate taking a gap year to apply to grad schools). DH working. I am at home. I have each child making dinner once a week and we go out about twice a week. I make the kids do the dishes and laundry. We all clean the house every other week on a weekend day. I do barely anything, but if I am not here nothing gets done in a timely manner. I am the glue and planner and watcher of everyone’s mental health (Covid isolation did a doozy on the recent graduate’s mental health). I have learned to “do very little, slowly”. In a year, we will be empty nesters again and in 2-3 DH will retire.

[Anonymous]

MIL. She has lived off of disability checks, allowances from a string of successive husbands, and handouts from her dad's pension. He dad bought her a house in her 50s and has bailed her out of bankruptcy twice. She could work but chooses not to because of her medical condition. Somehow she can go to lunch, shop, gamble, visit friends, but says she can't sit at a desk and work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL. She has lived off of disability checks, allowances from a string of successive husbands, and handouts from her dad's pension. He dad bought her a house in her 50s and has bailed her out of bankruptcy twice. She could work but chooses not to because of her medical condition. Somehow she can go to lunch, shop, gamble, visit friends, but says she can't sit at a desk and work.

My MIL is exactly the same. Got “injured at work” and could no longer do her desk job so she gets disability. Yet she has a cash business in the fitness world where she active with clients. She works 5 - 10 hours a week. FIL works and pays for everything, mortgage, cars, vacation home, her diamond addiction and a cleaning lady because MIL has “disability”.

She is lazy, spoiled and for some reason is still one of the nastiest rudest people you will ever meet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think showing self-awareness (if you believe that your work ethic could be improved, for example) is a great first step and indicates that you aren't completely "spoiled," if you are at all. "Spoiled" people tend not to be aware of the impact of their behavior on others. Plus, people can sometimes be the most harsh judges of themselves, so it might not necessarily be true.

Instead of criticizing yourself with negative labels, why not focus on what you need to do or do differently? I recommend prioritizing making sure that your behavior isn't negatively affecting others' or your well-being (most importantly health) or finances. Once that is taken care of, you can work on the other stuff.

If you feel comfortable sharing more about aspects of your behavior that you'd like to change, people can give more helpful, specific advice.

Also, if you have trouble getting stuff done, have you ruled out the possibility of a health issue? It could be a condition causing fatigue, depression, ADHD, etc. Symptoms of depression and ADHD can sometimes look like laziness to people who don't know what's going on.

Good luck!

OP. Thanks, I do have depression and ADHD but the world does not really care about this as it only comes across as so many excuses. It limits my life tremendously, but it is no comfort knowing that.

OP, I think you are being hard on yourself. Do you have a therapist that you can discuss this with?

In answer to your question, the laziest person i know of is a family member. He is nearing 40 and has never held a full-time job in his entire life. His last job of any kind was about 15 years ago. He is married. His DW has a job, is the primary parent to their 3 kids, and has health issues that would be helped if she could only take some time off of work. She's the one who needs to not work. Theyget outpatient financial care from his parents and grandparents. I find the whole situation remarkable. By this measure, OP, you are a workhorse and high achieving. And you have two mental health issues that you have to contend with. You're doing great.

[Anonymous]

FIL is definitely the laziest person I’ve ever seen.

He retired in his mid 50s and lays around all day watching TV and listening to talk radio. He doesn’t do anything of value and complains about everyone else not working as hard as he does. He might have health problems but we don’t know for certain.

[Anonymous]

My cousin. He does “day trading” since he was laid off from work. He’s 50. His wife supports them both financially. She makes a decent income so I guess they are ok

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dh’s sister, hands down.

I just came on here to say this.

I would describe her as not caring about anything other than being left alone and allowed to play on her phone. She has four kids (FOUR!) and does what she calls "hands off parenting" which basically means she expects everyone else to take care of her kids.

She doesn't work, and doesn't even do the SAHM thing - she leaves that for my MIL.

Her husband is the same way. My MIL went over to their house one morning when my SIL was out of town on a trip with friends because my BIL couldn't get up early enough to get the kids off to school. Like, he literally couldn't get out of bed in order to help his kids get out the door. The youngest was 7 at the time, so hardly any help needed. He works a 9-5, so it's not like he's working the night shift.

[Anonymous]

Spoiled and lazy are different things.
My ex was so lazy he wouldn't bend down to put on his shoes. If he couldn't step into a shoe, he wouldn't go out. He'd simply not eat because he was too lazy to cook. If I cooked for him, and if I asked him to do the dishes (he'd do nothing without being asked), he'd wash the exact items that he used. After awhile, he stopped eating when I cooked because he didn't want to do even that. His idea of sex is lying on his back and telling his partner to hop on.

He wasn't spoiled at all though. Grew up very poor in Latin America and had a rough, traumatic childhood. He's done well financially but is a very angry person.

[Anonymous]

In law who was financially supported whole life by her parents and ex husband. 500k windfall in 80s here, 60k here, 70k there, etc. over many years, plus alimony for many years. Hoping she doesn't die penniless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 35 year old cousin. She has never worked or gone to school past 9 th grade. She lives with her parents and sleeps all day. Other then the stimulus checks I don’t think she has ever had money that was 100% hers. Everything she eats, wears, uses, owns was provided for her and she smokes a pack a day. She could work at her dads small business but she won’t so he hires others instead.

This is like my cousin except she also has kids and is basically making my aunt and uncle raise them. The dad isn’t involved and not on the birth certificates, but occasionally she manages to wrangle some money out him “for the kids” which she then spends on herself (clothes, meals out, etc.). My aunt and uncle are nice people, so I don’t know how this happened. I think they’re mainly still involved because they love their grandkids and want them to have some relationship with their mom.

[Anonymous]

Are politicians (former or current) fair game?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 35 year old cousin. She has never worked or gone to school past 9 th grade. She lives with her parents and sleeps all day. Other then the stimulus checks I don’t think she has ever had money that was 100% hers. Everything she eats, wears, uses, owns was provided for her and she smokes a pack a day. She could work at her dads small business but she won’t so he hires others instead.

This sounds like a mental health problem. What is she going to do when the parents are gone?

[Anonymous]

My neighbor....too "sick" to do anything around the house or yard or go to the grocery store or have a job (no kids) but not too sick to basically be on vacation and hang out at resorts and on cruiseships over 50 percent of the time (that's not an exaggeration, by the way). Can fly to Europe for an active tour group but is too "sick" to go to the Giant and get groceries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 35 year old cousin. She has never worked or gone to school past 9 th grade. She lives with her parents and sleeps all day. Other then the stimulus checks I don’t think she has ever had money that was 100% hers. Everything she eats, wears, uses, owns was provided for her and she smokes a pack a day. She could work at her dads small business but she won’t so he hires others instead.

This sounds like a mental health problem. What is she going to do when the parents are gone?

I have no idea .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spoiled and lazy are different things.
My ex was so lazy he wouldn't bend down to put on his shoes. If he couldn't step into a shoe, he wouldn't go out. He'd simply not eat because he was too lazy to cook. If I cooked for him, and if I asked him to do the dishes (he'd do nothing without being asked), he'd wash the exact items that he used. After awhile, he stopped eating when I cooked because he didn't want to do even that. His idea of sex is lying on his back and telling his partner to hop on.

He wasn't spoiled at all though. Grew up very poor in Latin America and had a rough, traumatic childhood. He's done well financially but is a very angry person.

+1

I think anger and deprivation has a TON to do with it - resulting in control issues. MIL grew up poor and has tremendous issues around food (feels shameful for ever having leftovers, and will only order half a plate) and messes (pretends they don't exist), etc. It is kind of fascinating how different people handle poverty. In MIL's case, I am fairly sure there was abuse, too - made to feel useless, and treated that way. In a way it is sad, but grown adults need professional help to learn that they can't try to inflict their pain and issues on other people.