Describe the most spoiled lazy human you know well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think I was lazy, because I spent a lot of time doing things like DCUM instead of dishes or cleaning. My house was a wreck and my husband was doing way more than his fair share of work. (I'm a SAHM)

But then I learned more about my anxiety and ADHD and worked to deal with them, and I'm like a different person. I have a mostly healthy dinner on the table every night, I keep the house decently clean, I work on house projects to make it nice, I do all the little things like paying bills and taking care of the car, I make DH breakfast and lunch if he is working from home, etc. (I also do lots of activities with my kids but I always did that.) I still don't think I contribute as much as DH to our marriage, and that bothers me, but since he works so much I think the only way that will change is if he gets a different job.

My therapist friend says she doesn't believe in the concept of lazy, she just thinks that people don't know how to cope with their mental issues (ADHD, trauma, anxiety, depression, etc).

Not that mental issues excuse a failure to be a dependable partner or parent, but I think attributing that failure to an immutable personality trait and dismissing the person as lazy is an inaccurate way of looking at the situation.

Agree it’s undiagnosed mental issues and unmanaged diagnoses and symptoms. Good for you for managing yours and improving.

Thank you, that really means a lot!

DP. It's amazing that you've made such progress! If you feel comfortable sharing, what did you do to address the symptoms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think I was lazy, because I spent a lot of time doing things like DCUM instead of dishes or cleaning. My house was a wreck and my husband was doing way more than his fair share of work. (I'm a SAHM)

But then I learned more about my anxiety and ADHD and worked to deal with them, and I'm like a different person. I have a mostly healthy dinner on the table every night, I keep the house decently clean, I work on house projects to make it nice, I do all the little things like paying bills and taking care of the car, I make DH breakfast and lunch if he is working from home, etc. (I also do lots of activities with my kids but I always did that.) I still don't think I contribute as much as DH to our marriage, and that bothers me, but since he works so much I think the only way that will change is if he gets a different job.

My therapist friend says she doesn't believe in the concept of lazy, she just thinks that people don't know how to cope with their mental issues (ADHD, trauma, anxiety, depression, etc).

Not that mental issues excuse a failure to be a dependable partner or parent, but I think attributing that failure to an immutable personality trait and dismissing the person as lazy is an inaccurate way of looking at the situation.

Agree it’s undiagnosed mental issues and unmanaged diagnoses and symptoms. Good for you for managing yours and improving.

Thank you, that really means a lot!

DP. It's amazing that you've made such progress! If you feel comfortable sharing, what did you do to address the symptoms?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to think I was lazy, because I spent a lot of time doing things like DCUM instead of dishes or cleaning. My house was a wreck and my husband was doing way more than his fair share of work. (I'm a SAHM)

But then I learned more about my anxiety and ADHD and worked to deal with them, and I'm like a different person. I have a mostly healthy dinner on the table every night, I keep the house decently clean, I work on house projects to make it nice, I do all the little things like paying bills and taking care of the car, I make DH breakfast and lunch if he is working from home, etc. (I also do lots of activities with my kids but I always did that.) I still don't think I contribute as much as DH to our marriage, and that bothers me, but since he works so much I think the only way that will change is if he gets a different job.

My therapist friend says she doesn't believe in the concept of lazy, she just thinks that people don't know how to cope with their mental issues (ADHD, trauma, anxiety, depression, etc).

Not that mental issues excuse a failure to be a dependable partner or parent, but I think attributing that failure to an immutable personality trait and dismissing the person as lazy is an inaccurate way of looking at the situation.

Agree it’s undiagnosed mental issues and unmanaged diagnoses and symptoms. Good for you for managing yours and improving.

Thank you, that really means a lot!

DP. It's amazing that you've made such progress! If you feel comfortable sharing, what did you do to address the symptoms?

+1

+1

Did you get help from primary care doctor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think showing self-awareness (if you believe that your work ethic could be improved, for example) is a great first step and indicates that you aren't completely "spoiled," if you are at all. "Spoiled" people tend not to be aware of the impact of their behavior on others. Plus, people can sometimes be the most harsh judges of themselves, so it might not necessarily be true.

Instead of criticizing yourself with negative labels, why not focus on what you need to do or do differently? I recommend prioritizing making sure that your behavior isn't negatively affecting others' or your well-being (most importantly health) or finances. Once that is taken care of, you can work on the other stuff.

If you feel comfortable sharing more about aspects of your behavior that you'd like to change, people can give more helpful, specific advice.

Also, if you have trouble getting stuff done, have you ruled out the possibility of a health issue? It could be a condition causing fatigue, depression, ADHD, etc. Symptoms of depression and ADHD can sometimes look like laziness to people who don't know what's going on.

Good luck!

Np- I have also fallen short on my responsibilities…..having an alway time focusing. I’m also in the menopause process, which leaves you foggy. But, I’m starting to think I may have ADD and maybe have had it for a long time. For example, in college I had awful grades. I’m not dumb, I just don’t have the focus to take notes, study, etc. I’m starting to put patterns together that I’ve had throughout my life and I think it’s ADD. I hear it’s difficult to diagnose in adults. Anyone have any input, advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Ah. That would be me. I can exert myself to do wonderful things in short bursts, but a regular job? Forget it.

Sounds more like ADHD than laziness.

For anybody open to unsolicited advice, I just got a book called ADHD pro. It has some great productivity tips for people with ADHD and I am loving it.

I just read the first two free chapters on Amazon……wow did that describe me! So, PP are you on medication for your ADHD or are you trying to reign it it by reading a book like this?

I haven’t been diagnosed professionally, but I’m almost positive I have ADHD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She clips her toenails on the sofa but won't vacuum up the clippings. After that, without washing her hands, she'll dig into a bag of potato chips. Some of the snack crumbs she brushes off with her hand or flicks off onto the floor. My faith in humanity is at an all time low.

Can’t post let this get lost in all these pages. So awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a SAHM who does not get up in the mornings to get her kids read for school. Her husband does and he also packs their lunches, does all the grocery shopping and makes all the dinners because “he likes it.” He also plans all the travel and handles all the home maintenance and renovations. When her two kids were younger, the older one had to bathe the younger one and brush her teeth. When the DH got home from work, he was expected to do 100% of everything because she was “exhausted” and “off duty.” Now that her kids are older and self-sufficient she can’t be expected to do anything at all because she has “chronic Lyme” that manifested at exactly the time she ran out of kid related excuses.

Sounds like my life before I got divorced. I had the laziest, most entitled wife ever.