How do you know a guy is truly ready for marriage and kids?

[Anonymous]

DH was not ready for kids by the time we had our first. In his mind having kids is always “someday” but never the present, the conversation dragged on for years and I got fed up and called the deal. You need to be workable but you cannot have someone else dictate your life.

[Anonymous]

They commit pretty quickly. They’ll pop the question within two years in their twenties and earlier than that in their thirties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can know if a guy isn't ready to be a dad, avoid those guys.

Other than that it's a crapshoot. You can't go by them saying they want to be a dad, or love kids, babysit, camp counselors, teachers, etc

So many people think they want kids and say all those things and when they actually have the kid not so much.

Why would you say this? If a woman said she wanted kids, you would believe her. The kind of man who wants to marry at 26 and tell his fiancee he loves and wants kids...likely does.[/quote

Actually no I wouldn't, so shove your assumptions back into your ass. OP also asked about a guy, if you want to talk about how to know a woman is ready for kids make that thread. So many people offer stupid advice like if he works with kids, or loves hanging out with his niece and nephew etc, yeah not so much.


As I said you know who not to have kids with if he's a broke bum, exhibits bum behavior and is immature don't waste your time hoping he will change even if he says he wants kids.


If you're both stable people who want kids go for it, but it;s a crapshoot no guarantees that he will stick around or be a good dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They commit pretty quickly. They’ll pop the question within two years in their twenties and earlier than that in their thirties.

Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:- He tells you
- you meet his family
- He tells you
- he discusses future planning with you
- he tells you
- he puts his plans into action without you
- he tells you
- he welcomes you into the fold of the dream world he is excited to share with you


That is how it goes in general there are always deviations esp based on age, or economic status of both, logistics and living conditions etc

Nope. Why do we keep selling this lie?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can know if a guy isn't ready to be a dad, avoid those guys.

Other than that it's a crapshoot. You can't go by them saying they want to be a dad, or love kids, babysit, camp counselors, teachers, etc

So many people think they want kids and say all those things and when they actually have the kid not so much.

Why would you say this? If a woman said she wanted kids, you would believe her. The kind of man who wants to marry at 26 and tell his fiancee he loves and wants kids...likely does.[/quote

Actually no I wouldn't, so shove your assumptions back into your ass. OP also asked about a guy, if you want to talk about how to know a woman is ready for kids make that thread. So many people offer stupid advice like if he works with kids, or loves hanging out with his niece and nephew etc, yeah not so much.


As I said you know who not to have kids with if he's a broke bum, exhibits bum behavior and is immature don't waste your time hoping he will change even if he says he wants kids.


If you're both stable people who want kids go for it, but it;s a crapshoot no guarantees that he will stick around or be a good dad.

-1. There is a difference between no guarantees and a crapshoot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:- He tells you
- you meet his family
- He tells you
- he discusses future planning with you
- he tells you
- he puts his plans into action without you
- he tells you
- he welcomes you into the fold of the dream world he is excited to share with you


That is how it goes in general there are always deviations esp based on age, or economic status of both, logistics and living conditions etc

+1

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on what you mean by "mature" into having kids. A perfectly mature person can want to delay having kids if he is only in his 20s. He might want to finish a grad program, save for a down payment on a house. That's totally valid.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't talk to his ex while on a date with you.

[Anonymous]

Met my DH when both were 19. We were serious from the start and our long term goals was marriage and kids. DH started his career first and we waited for me to finish my 2nd masters. Married at 25. First kid at 32, when we were financially and career-wise more comfortable and had done all the fun things we wanted to do. We were very ready to be parents at 32 and we knew that we would priortize our kids over everything else.

A man who wants to marry and have kids, will have a plan to get there and will work towards becoming a success in his career.

What I liked about my DH was that he told me that he wanted to support his wife to become fulfilled in whatever she wanted to do. Be a SAHM, be a WOHM, study, travel, delay having kids, adopt a kid etc. This was when he was only 20 yrs old. And while it took us a long time to get where we were going...his intention to create a family and a life with me was never in doubt. Furthermore, his actions for furthering his career and my education was very concrete and deliberate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on what you mean by "mature" into having kids. A perfectly mature person can want to delay having kids if he is only in his 20s. He might want to finish a grad program, save for a down payment on a house. That's totally valid.

+ 1

Men who want to marry and have kids start working on becoming good providers by focusing on their education and their careers. They may delay having kids if they are too young, and they have other goals in front of them. But all actions are towards eventually getting married and having kids. If you think that you have to "change their mind" or "trap them" by becoming pregnant, then you will be unhappy because they will be crappy partners and parents.

Also, men who want to marry you and have a family with you, make their intentions very clear. Once they can support themselves and be financially independent, they want to get married. They may wait to have babies but usually they don't want to wait to get married. Even if they are just marrying in the courthouse and spending $100 for a license.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can know if a guy isn't ready to be a dad, avoid those guys.

Other than that it's a crapshoot. You can't go by them saying they want to be a dad, or love kids, babysit, camp counselors, teachers, etc

So many people think they want kids and say all those things and when they actually have the kid not so much.

Why would you say this? If a woman said she wanted kids, you would believe her. The kind of man who wants to marry at 26 and tell his fiancee he loves and wants kids...likely does.

Actually no I wouldn't, so shove your assumptions back into your ass. OP also asked about a guy, if you want to talk about how to know a woman is ready for kids make that thread. So many people offer stupid advice like if he works with kids, or loves hanging out with his niece and nephew etc, yeah not so much.


As I said you know who not to have kids with if he's a broke bum, exhibits bum behavior and is immature don't waste your time hoping he will change even if he says he wants kids.


If you're both stable people who want kids go for it, but it;s a crapshoot no guarantees that he will stick around or be a good dad.

-1. There is a difference between no guarantees and a crapshoot.

I agree. The man who wants to be with you and wants marriage and family with you will show it to you in his care for you. They stop looking around and they put you first in a mature and sensible way. Crazy clingy drama queen women, I am not talking about what you expect from men. I mean that when a young, emotionally mature woman meets the right guy who is also emotionally mature - it is pretty seamless and the communication is very open and indepth. There is also not a lack of chemistry or enthusiasm for wanting every thing with each other.

I find it so odd that women are dragging a reluctant boyfriend's ass over the coals for not proposing, not giving them a ring, not committing, not fixing on a date, dragging the engagement etc. Girl, he is not into you and does not want kids with you. Don't waste your time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He doesn't talk to his ex while on a date with you.

Its not like that.

I don't hate her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They commit pretty quickly. They’ll pop the question within two years in their twenties and earlier than that in their thirties.

That has been my experience. The intentions are honorable and stated. This happened with all of my girlfriends and with me. There was never ever any doubt where the relationship was headed, and the details of many things were hashed out in conversations. Couple was on the same page and wanted to make things work.