Would you date a man with a child?

[Anonymous]

No, but I don't want kids, and I think having a kid you don't want speaks to a high level of irresponsibility/dumbassery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He does not see. He does pay child support. It was an ONS if that makes a difference, and the mom doesn't want him involved.

NO, Hard pass

[Anonymous]

No way and he probably has an STI.

[Anonymous]

So women that get pregnant but don’t want to be a parent can have an abortion, and their body, their choice. No judgement.

But if a man doesn’t want to be a parent but woman does and he financially supports, he is a total a-hole? Wow double standard

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So women that get pregnant but don’t want to be a parent can have an abortion, and their body, their choice. No judgement.

But if a man doesn’t want to be a parent but woman does and he financially supports, he is a total a-hole? Wow double standard

Where did OP say he didn't want to be a parent?

[Anonymous]

Deal breaker. He's not the kind of devoted dad I would want to have children with

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So women that get pregnant but don’t want to be a parent can have an abortion, and their body, their choice. No judgement.

But if a man doesn’t want to be a parent but woman does and he financially supports, he is a total a-hole? Wow double standard

Where did OP say he didn't want to be a parent?

He had a legal right to custody so if he waived that he clearly doesn’t want to be a parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So women that get pregnant but don’t want to be a parent can have an abortion, and their body, their choice. No judgement.

But if a man doesn’t want to be a parent but woman does and he financially supports, he is a total a-hole? Wow double standard

Where did OP say he didn't want to be a parent?

He had a legal right to custody so if he waived that he clearly doesn’t want to be a parent

According to OP he told her that the mom doesn't want him involved. It's perfectly fine if he doesn't want to be a parent, but trying to blame the mom is just silly. That's what makes him a jackass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So women that get pregnant but don’t want to be a parent can have an abortion, and their body, their choice. No judgement.

But if a man doesn’t want to be a parent but woman does and he financially supports, he is a total a-hole? Wow double standard

Where did OP say he didn't want to be a parent?

He had a legal right to custody so if he waived that he clearly doesn’t want to be a parent

According to OP he told her that the mom doesn't want him involved. It's perfectly fine if he doesn't want to be a parent, but trying to blame the mom is just silly. That's what makes him a jackass.

It isn’t blaming her. Maybe she did ask him to not be involved and he didn’t really care enough to fight about so that was that.

[Anonymous]

No.

I am ok with a widower with kids.

All the rest are just someone else's discard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So women that get pregnant but don’t want to be a parent can have an abortion, and their body, their choice. No judgement.

But if a man doesn’t want to be a parent but woman does and he financially supports, he is a total a-hole? Wow double standard

Where did OP say he didn't want to be a parent?

He had a legal right to custody so if he waived that he clearly doesn’t want to be a parent

According to OP he told her that the mom doesn't want him involved. It's perfectly fine if he doesn't want to be a parent, but trying to blame the mom is just silly. That's what makes him a jackass.

It isn’t blaming her. Maybe she did ask him to not be involved and he didn’t really care enough to fight about so that was that.

You're assuming a lot about the situation and none of it was even hinted at by the OP. I'll base my assessment on what OP said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So women that get pregnant but don’t want to be a parent can have an abortion, and their body, their choice. No judgement.

But if a man doesn’t want to be a parent but woman does and he financially supports, he is a total a-hole? Wow double standard

In what universe? There's a large segment of the population that would indeed judge a woman for having an abortion. And they wouldn't just call her an "a-hole" they'd call her a murderer.

[Anonymous]

No, op, I wouldn’t, at least not in the situation you outline.
“the mother doesn’t want him involved” sounds like a line from 1980. He now has an open hatch for money to disappear and claim “it’s for the kid”.

Give him a couple months and don’t be surprised when he hits you up for money for his car or power bill.
Ditto for time, he can tell you that mom wants him to see his kid, and you’ll just have to accept it, are you sure he isn’t married or into drugs? Don’t laugh, there are a lot of very convincing scammers out there.
The “I have a kid that I pay for but don’t see” is a classic.

Note, anybody can produce a cute picture of a kid.



I’m also amazed at men who show such deference for women they are not dating. I’m not suggesting he should steal the kid, but if he is the legal father, he does have rights, and I’d be wondering why he isn’t spending time with his child.

If mom is that crazy, I’d be worried she’d come after me.

If she isn’t, I’d worry he cares too much about another woman’s comfort, just like the sleazeball married men who “are only married for health insurance”.

I know myself well enough to know that if I am in a romantic relationship, the person I am with needs to put my comfort ahead of any other woman. Men who can’t or won’t don’t need to date me, and I say this as someone who doesn’t feel they are entitled to a romantic relationship, just that I need to be the priority. And yes, I am married.

People are allowed to live how they want, but I am also allowed to do the same, and I prefer to keep weird as far away from me as possible. This setup doesn’t sound right to me which isn’t to say it didn’t happen, just that I’d not be comfortable with it. You probably aren’t either or you’d not be posting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So women that get pregnant but don’t want to be a parent can have an abortion, and their body, their choice. No judgement.

But if a man doesn’t want to be a parent but woman does and he financially supports, he is a total a-hole? Wow double standard

In what universe? There's a large segment of the population that would indeed judge a woman for having an abortion. And they wouldn't just call her an "a-hole" they'd call her a murderer.

If someone started a post saying would you date a woman that had an abortion from a ONS a decade ago? I doubt the overwhelming answers would be what a horrible person she must be, and no of course not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So women that get pregnant but don’t want to be a parent can have an abortion, and their body, their choice. No judgement.

But if a man doesn’t want to be a parent but woman does and he financially supports, he is a total a-hole? Wow double standard

In what universe? There's a large segment of the population that would indeed judge a woman for having an abortion. And they wouldn't just call her an "a-hole" they'd call her a murderer.

If someone started a post saying would you date a woman that had an abortion from a ONS a decade ago? I doubt the overwhelming answers would be what a horrible person she must be, and no of course not

The more apt comparison would be "would you date a woman who had a child after a ONS, left it with the father, and never sees it but pays for it", and I think most men would rightfully respond with "that's a lot of drama/that's freaking weird".