Reply to Would you date a man with a child?

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[quote=Anonymous]No, op, I wouldn’t, at least not in the situation you outline. 
“the mother doesn’t want him involved” sounds like a line from 1980.  He now has an open hatch for money to disappear and claim “it’s for the kid”.

Give him a couple months and don’t be surprised when he hits you up for money for his car or power bill.  
Ditto for time, he can tell you that mom wants him to see his kid, and you’ll just have to accept it, are you sure he isn’t married or into drugs?  Don’t laugh, there are a lot of very convincing scammers out there. 
The “I have a kid that I pay for but don’t see” is a classic.

Note, anybody can produce a cute picture of a kid.

I’m also amazed at men who show such deference for women they are not dating.  I’m not suggesting he should steal the kid, but if he is the legal father, he does have rights, and I’d be wondering why he isn’t spending time with his child.

If mom is that crazy, I’d be worried she’d come after me.

If she isn’t, I’d worry he cares too much about another woman’s comfort, just like the sleazeball married men who “are only married for health insurance”.

I know myself well enough to know that if I am in a romantic relationship, the person I am with needs to put my comfort ahead of any other woman.  Men who can’t or won’t don’t need to date me, and I say this as someone who doesn’t feel they are entitled to a romantic relationship, just that I need to be the priority.  And yes, I am married.

People are allowed to live how they want, but I am also allowed to do the same, and I prefer to keep weird as far away from me as possible. This setup doesn’t sound right to me which isn’t to say it didn’t happen, just that I’d not be comfortable with it.  You probably aren’t either or you’d not be posting.   [/quote]

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