Forum Index
»
Off-Topic
I’m a black descendant of Robert E. Lee
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
Not in touch with white descendants on his side — just some relatives and not even the whole family I have a low cell battery and want to answer thoroughly so will be back. But quickly — I do have relatives that passed as white in the Midwest drs and I think one is a judge Family researcher was hired to do an ancestry report during a family reunion many years ago I have so many relatives in this area I’ve never dated anyone from DMV and metro area. Innniwni don’t have a 100% picture. Wont do a DNA kit because my dna would then be commercially owned and I’m skittish about that stuff. I’ll be back post meeting and with more of a phone charge. Thanks for giving me a place to talk about this. A lot of mixed feelings. |
Anonymous
| ^OP. |
Anonymous
I saw that topic and replied not a soccer moms that participate slim those threads. That one particularly bothered me for some reason so I posted my 2 cent left and posted here as a spin-off |
Anonymous
|
I’m Black. I clearly have white ancestors— lots of photos of “Black” people from the 1800’s and on with white features. So my question is: What is it like for you to know for sure who your white ancestor was? Does it matter to you that he is also a historical figure, and one that you have actual, specific details about? Do you have any plans or thoughts about ever connecting in some way with his white descendants ? When you think about him or see statues ar things after him, does it feel like “family” for you at any level?
I appreciate your post in part because most of us with white ancestors are dealing with unknowns — and how we integrate this lack of information into our identities and our sense of ourselves. I’m really interested in learning more about your experiences with actual “knowns”. |
Anonymous
Obviously our roots go deep, nearly everyone is family. In my opinion, I think the statues should be removed, and replaced; with a reference to see an archive of this past in the African American museum up the street. I have not been yet (I know, I know, for shame) but my mom told me that there was one part of an exhibit on the bottom floor that has one ouf our great greats that I have met as a young child on (one of our) family’s farm. I have a picture with about 30+ other cousins and I think he is in it. I haven’t seen it myself, but it’s not surprising. I’m discovering more as data is aggregated and easier to paint a full picture. My personal opinion is that we shouldn’t destroy the past - preserve it in a museum. I agree we don’t honor the man that raped my maternal grandmother. Oh, that is another conflict by the way. Every time I thought of slavery and children born from masters, I assumed it was rape. Rherw is no way that I have to go back in time and verify rhis but the information that was shared from the family reunion presentation of the person they hired said the relationship was different; he actually loved her and had a fondness for her. My branch stems from One of their 6 or 8 that didn’t pass and marry into white families or find another trade, a black man married her and took all the kids from Lee as his own. Those that didn’t die, and that my ancestral maternal grandmother directly traced. If Lee is the trunk, my small sliver of the heritage includes 5 other families broken out in trees over 5 generations, gradually decreasing in quantity over time. Also, to my knowledge we only account for and stay connected with 3. We have very common last names too. |
Anonymous
| I’m just curious how you know for sure, without a DNA test, that Lee is your ancestor. Are there written records beyond those placing your ancestor at his plantation or strong family lore? Not that I don’t believe that Lee was a rapist. To the contrary, a lot of white guys were raping slaves. Just wondering if you all are reasonably sure it wasn’t an overseer or visitor or son or anyone else that fathered your ancestor. |
Anonymous
I believe people use the term rape as a blanket term in these cases because of the complete imbalance of power. |
Anonymous
I was curious about this as well but OP said they do not want to do DNA test. Perhaps other family members did one. There are articles discussing Lee descendants but I believe they were descendants of his son or brothers, not Lee himself. |
Anonymous
You know, I took time to really think about this because for me, here is where things become complicated. And it had to do with a divergence of what history said about my grandparents. On one hand, he was cruel and had slaves, raped and had many children. This is what I grew up believing. On the other hand, I find out as a young adult (before Ancestry DNA was a thing) from a family property where we have celebrated literally on 40 acres of farmland, have cemetery grounds of ancestors, the stories were different that were shared. When I asked more about this with great aunts and uncles, they said that Lee loved her and had a fondness for her; that is why he gave the land when his increasing threat from the interrupted logistical supply chain didn’t allow soldier food weapons etc. No longer looking from the outside in, I have wondered if it’s true. If it is true, and there was any type of care rhwre, why fight at war over this? I can create a zillion scenarios in my mind but nothing can answer the questions. I learned about something when you’re captured and fall in love with your prisoner can’t remember what it’s called, but I wonder if that was the case. There are many unanswered questions about history that are swept under the rug because the story isn’t pretty. I want awareness about it, I want to hear it. I remember when the Holocaust opened, and I sat in the Audio room, right before you came to the wall of shoes, and there was a very old man listening with tears. I will never, ever forget it. I was going, but I felt such a connection with this man. A small local paper wrote about it. That said, I don’t understand any argument that defends the Confederacy in an honorable way. I’ve tried to be objective but it comes down to an economic battle. The same one we fight today. Do we build wealth from mistreatment of others or do we allow new diversity into a country to support its refinement. Clearly, I disagree with enslaving people. Yet, there is an entire underworld of dark money and connected to this party. They’ve always tried to hide who they are behind tropes in different political positions, but at its heart, they were racist, and they left impacts that still affect us literally today in how scarred we were, as a people. George Floyd brought rhis all to a head for me. It forced a lot of uncomfortable conversations, but they need to be had. I don’t think we should have anything that gives honor to treasonists. On thé other hand what do you do and how do you feel of your Jewish parents told uou you’re really a descendant from Hitler and they adopted and saved you? It’s crazy to me. By the way, I went to JEB Stuart before they renamed it. The associations with Lee are the black communities association with Martin Luther King blvds. Go to any city, find MLK, you’ll find a black barber and stylist. Also you’ll find impoverished communities marketed as “opportunity” zones through veiled programs allowing a path to access equal economic power, while at the same time shutting you off from it. Right in front of your face. My concern is that my children’s children won’t know anymore about the confederate and their attempts to overthrow our government because there is nothing to remind them when it’s all gone. Our community isn’t as comfortable in discussing the past and sharing info as other races that have had mass oppression, I would love if there were something to build confidence in our retelling of the story. But it’s always covered or diluted and mixed in with something else. That is hard to reconcile when you are just a normal child born into a world with a dysfunctional history. I think the answer is in giving a space for racists to tell their story, but refusing to support or acknowledge it as a government with public institutions. On the other hand, my Jamaican relatives can wave their flag and have that right as Americans — because it is part of our identity!! Sorry I’m rambling a bit. I was really bothered listening to people argue talking points, rarely is there someone that truly gives critical analysis to the depth of pain. If your dad is a murderer, are you supposed to just to not have feelings to reconcile in who YOU are? Think of all the criticism dished out here because kids were raised by bad parents, or for differences that don’t look white. There is pressure to assimilate and Cons are wrong but with so much pride they don’t want to let it go. I think they tell their kids a narrative that allows the good stories to be heard maybe to comfort guilt that really isn’t their fault. But they’re also rejected from society because they hold on to that... so it feeds a narrative of being supported by racists and other hate groups. Also, deep down I truly feel that there are some people that are confederates who think if everyone denounces how horrible they are, that people will give to them what they gave to others. They don’t have a threat to them, but that is part of the problem. We were threatened just by being free. Our community is generally (sometimes too) forgiving and complacent in demanding reconciliation, or redemption for injustice. I think that is a strong and rarely discussed undercurrent that directs the path of Confederates. Trump just released the worst of everyone. Again — I speak for me, no one else. All other convos about this are with those I trust and have a close relationship with. That Texas high school renamed to Lee as an FU when the Dems were saying we don’t want the racist klansmen in our party, shortly after Kennedy set a new trajectory. Much like Teump did for republicans think this is the pride and fear of Confederates (of which there’re are a TON in Virginia, they’re just older and now outnumbered by younger more diverse generations). |
Anonymous
| Whoa that was long, my bad. |
Anonymous
There is no full accounting of our entire family tree. I am no doubt one small seedling of a branch of many. |
Anonymous
I think this is what people are trying to understand. How do you know your family line is to Robert E Lee versus one of his family members? That’s what people are confused about. |
Anonymous
I think that learning about this as a younger adult, educated in Lord Fairfax’s racist county, with a family demographic that saw a tale of two cities economically amongst my entrepreneurial grandparents, I saw “both sides” of everything all my life. I remember seeing one relative rip the literal food coupons off or only shop from the yellow WIC sign. I remember another relative driving a fancy car and marrying a woman. My family is very accepting and diverse, and we are strong survivors all with our own path and story. I would never attend an event for descendants because 1) I’ve never been invited and I’m lucky to even have some info about my background as a slave whose ancestors were renamed, inbred, etc and 2) the very uncomfortable reminder of my last would anger a community ceelebrating one part of the picture. Kinda like the husband that steps out on his wife and has a child with another woman. It takes a very special kind of woman to embrace that child. It can be done but I don’t expect that my presence would be valued or respected. Black people we just usually don’t talk about our past except in some stories. We aren’t even allowed to ask how old our parents are!  And everyone is Auntie or Uncle.
|
Anonymous
|
Do you realize that people are not trying to “erase” history. We can learn history without statues. Everybody knows Hitler’s story, not 1 statue.
Do you know when/who/why any of these statues were even erected? Do you actually know their true history? |
Anonymous
Because we hired a professional investigator that did the work to trace the lineage, much like HL Gates did. And actually, the portion of Mr. Gates documentary that touches on one of the relatives reconciles with the findings they reported to the family. How did we amass so much wealth near his victory and loss? The more we are learning through shared data rhe clearwr the picture. But everyone doesn’t want to overturn all the stones. I mean, I can’t show you a certificate of Lee-ship. So I don’t want to tell you. When you figure out a solution, please share it with me. |