Meeting quality guys in their 30s

[Anonymous]

I would advise single women in their 30s tell their younger sisters that their 20s are the best time to secure a husband. I would advise single men in their 30s to stay single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would advise single women in their 30s tell their younger sisters that their 20s are the best time to secure a husband. I would advise single men in their 30s to stay single.

I would advise women to stay single. Marriage in 20s is terrible advice for either gender.

[Anonymous]

Join a club or hobby. Lots of guys in running/triathlon and martial arts. Anything athletic. Just go wherever plenty gather. The more involved and more diverse your social scene, the better.

The pickings seem slim but there are plenty of them still out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would advise single women in their 30s tell their younger sisters that their 20s are the best time to secure a husband. I would advise single men in their 30s to stay single.

I would advise women to stay single. Marriage in 20s is terrible advice for either gender.

I loved getting married in my 20s. Several years of being married happily without kids, full of travel, making real money but having no real responsibility, quiet mornings, then growing into the kids stage together at a non bio-clock-driven pace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ironic thing is that men in their 30s could probably write the same things

Do you know the meaning of irony? That's not ironic at all. It's just a fact that for both sexes, there's a lot of odd people in the dating pool at that age.

NP but I wouldn’t expect a lot of “odd” people in their 30s...it’s still young...lots of single people without baggage.. But I just think there are lots of odd people *in general* and online dating puts them in your path when you might not normally meet in your day-to-day life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suggest you figure out how to quickly assess whether the man is marriage material and if the relationship is heading towards marriage. Once you're in your 30's, you should at least start discussing marriage within 6 or so months and be engaged within around a year. Don't spend 2 years with a guy just seeing how it goes. Almost all the good guys are married or engaged by 35.

I mean this gently, but all the 40+ never-married females I know have allowed themselves to be strung along by guys. Many of them are wonderful, intelligent, attractive women who have confidence and guy-selection issues. Get your confidence up, fix your picker, and have the courage to walk away from a dead-end relationship.

Or we ( I am single and 44) spent too much time in relationships with guys we realized we didn’t want to marry.

I’m not good at figuring out what I want early on and breaking things off early.

It's not an "or" situation. You're exactly what I'm talking about. You stay in dead-end relationships. There's a type of person - both male and female - who stay in dead-end long-term relationships. It's what damaged people do. There's no reason to date for 3+ years unless you met in college. It's fine if you don't want to get married, but if you do then you need to figure out what you want.

“Damaged” people? Look, I’m 50 and married, so don’t have skin in this game but that is a gross generalization and over-simplification of a common human experience, which you are pathologizing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ironic thing is that men in their 30s could probably write the same things

Do you know the meaning of irony? That's not ironic at all. It's just a fact that for both sexes, there's a lot of odd people in the dating pool at that age.

Lol. This poster and Alanis Morissette need some training on meaning of irony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would advise single women in their 30s tell their younger sisters that their 20s are the best time to secure a husband. I would advise single men in their 30s to stay single.

I would advise women to stay single. Marriage in 20s is terrible advice for either gender.

I loved getting married in my 20s. Several years of being married happily without kids, full of travel, making real money but having no real responsibility, quiet mornings, then growing into the kids stage together at a non bio-clock-driven pace.

All the people I know who got married in their 20s are still married and many are retiring now while others who got married older still have kids in 8th grade! Better quality of life when you get married younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ironic thing is that men in their 30s could probably write the same things

Do you know the meaning of irony? That's not ironic at all. It's just a fact that for both sexes, there's a lot of odd people in the dating pool at that age.

NP but I wouldn’t expect a lot of “odd” people in their 30s...it’s still young...lots of single people without baggage.. But I just think there are lots of odd people *in general* and online dating puts them in your path when you might not normally meet in your day-to-day life.

DP here. I met DH in my early 30's, and the pickings were getting noticeably slimmer by then. I agree with pp that lots of the good catches men and women marry in their 20's. People who really want to get married and have kids feel the pressure when they're approaching 30. Most of the ones still available at 35+ are damaged goods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ironic thing is that men in their 30s could probably write the same things

Do you know the meaning of irony? That's not ironic at all. It's just a fact that for both sexes, there's a lot of odd people in the dating pool at that age.

NP but I wouldn’t expect a lot of “odd” people in their 30s...it’s still young...lots of single people without baggage.. But I just think there are lots of odd people *in general* and online dating puts them in your path when you might not normally meet in your day-to-day life.

DP here. I met DH in my early 30's, and the pickings were getting noticeably slimmer by then. I agree with pp that lots of the good catches men and women marry in their 20's. People who really want to get married and have kids feel the pressure when they're approaching 30. Most of the ones still available at 35+ are damaged goods.

I don’t think that’s true of women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ironic thing is that men in their 30s could probably write the same things

Do you know the meaning of irony? That's not ironic at all. It's just a fact that for both sexes, there's a lot of odd people in the dating pool at that age.

NP but I wouldn’t expect a lot of “odd” people in their 30s...it’s still young...lots of single people without baggage.. But I just think there are lots of odd people *in general* and online dating puts them in your path when you might not normally meet in your day-to-day life.

DP here. I met DH in my early 30's, and the pickings were getting noticeably slimmer by then. I agree with pp that lots of the good catches men and women marry in their 20's. People who really want to get married and have kids feel the pressure when they're approaching 30. Most of the ones still available at 35+ are damaged goods.

I don’t think that’s true of women.

Disagree. A good portion of the over 30 unmarried women have issues of one type of another as well. Overt-picky or fear of commitment. Often they chase guys who aren’t into them for years and years in a low self esteem cycle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ironic thing is that men in their 30s could probably write the same things

Do you know the meaning of irony? That's not ironic at all. It's just a fact that for both sexes, there's a lot of odd people in the dating pool at that age.

NP but I wouldn’t expect a lot of “odd” people in their 30s...it’s still young...lots of single people without baggage.. But I just think there are lots of odd people *in general* and online dating puts them in your path when you might not normally meet in your day-to-day life.

DP here. I met DH in my early 30's, and the pickings were getting noticeably slimmer by then. I agree with pp that lots of the good catches men and women marry in their 20's. People who really want to get married and have kids feel the pressure when they're approaching 30. Most of the ones still available at 35+ are damaged goods.

I don’t think that’s true of women.

Disagree. A good portion of the over 30 unmarried women have issues of one type of another as well. Overt-picky or fear of commitment. Often they chase guys who aren’t into them for years and years in a low self esteem cycle.

This. I used to think it was just bad luck with guys screwing them over, but now the ones I know are in their 40's now and repeating the same cycles. Some of these women have a lot to offer - intelligent, attractive, good jobs, well dressed, and fun to hang out with, but I'm seeing that there's a self esteem issue that's holding them back. It's a little more than self esteem though, and there's definitely of a confidence issue combined with picking fatally flawed men.

[Anonymous]

Why are women who were married in their 20s and happy about it always seemingly so angry on these threads?

[Anonymous]

Question to OP. What do you bring to the table?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are women who were married in their 20s and happy about it always seemingly so angry on these threads?

Seriously. "I'm so happy I got married in my 20s! Better quality of life!!! if you got married after 30 you have issues!!!!"

It's DC. Pretty much no one gets married before 30 here anymore.